How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
two things: 1:Be more open, be more real, stop hiding 2: Keep writing
I want to have a clear career path and follow it. I feel like a wanderer without a compass.
Why do we need to improve ourselves? Maybe there are things we could do to improve mood or pain. But unless we are unkind or deceitful, what is there to improve?
I had a revelation this year that for all my complaining that I don't know where I'm going or what I should be doing, my ultimate goal is really crystal clear: I want to learn to love myself to the point where I can be a source of love for others. My goal is to become the wise man on the mountain. To live as fully as I can for as long as I can. And when the destination seems impossibly far away, to focus on the next step.
Get rid of stuff! It’s the same advice or counsel I’ve heard for years. That is not really improving myself self that’s improving my home. One of the caregivers told me before she quit that I should not be such a boss. Doing yoga every day!
I feel so crap reading my answers from last year. I was so full of ambition for the changes I would make. I've tried to make them and now I'm just sad, tired and confused. I started learning to drive this year, which I am proud of, and I'd love to complete that journey before the high holy days roll around in 2020. At the moment, I'm choosing between marrying R and following him to the US for a year, or doing long distance and seeing where that takes us. I guess that I would definitely like to have a few months at least where I am living away from him, so I can see what it feels like to be on my own for a bit. I would also like whatever decision I make to be 100% grounded in self-respect and appetite for my own life. No marrying into dysfunction because it's the easy way out and I'm scared of being alone. Conversely, no staying behind just because moving overseas and stepping away from the law for a bit is terrifying. I think I want the same things as last year. More independence. More risk. More travel. More ideas. Mostly, to stop quietly sacrificing my life for others and to insist on really being here, on living out my truth. In terms of advice or counsel, K's advice to think about how I would feel if everything was the same in 10 years is good, though not just at the moment as I'm feeling depressed so I basically alternate between numbness and sadness at the moment. I think of Nelson Mandela basically saying that the world needs us to shine bright, to be beautiful butterflies. That no-one is helped if we hide our light under bushels. That is good advice.
Last year, Steph tried to get me to really put up emotional boundaries between myself and other people. She helped me to realize that boundaries are actually beneficial to everyone in the long run, and that it's important to set those boundaries early on.
In this upcoming year I hope to publish my series of books. I'm finally feeling nearly free of the clutter of paperwork that has impeded my progress. What I've learned is that I should hire people to do things I don't enjoy doing, to free me up to do the things I excel at.
I would like to lose my fears around my children and their future -- due to climate change, the world at large, their own self-defeatism. I would like to overcome my own self-defeating behaviours. I would like to lose my fear of death so that i can access the powerful forces inside me for the common good. I would like to be at peace with things that happen especially within my family. "Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable." --Mary Oliver. Remember that "the unimaginable" can apply to both shattering tragedy as well as stunning happiness.
I think what I most need to work on is self esteem. I often have a sense that I am failing at my job, or that I'm never going to advance, or, if I am looking for a new position, no one will hire me because I haven't done anything or enough. For where I am in my career, benchmarked, I feel like I'm way behind. Whenever I express this fear to my spouse, or to friends, they are like, "what are you talking about." They tell me the things I've done. I always think, yeah but those things don't matter, though. My spouse always counters that that depends on who you ask. I'm just thinking of where I currently work, where I have a very clear sense that what I do and have done doesn't matter at all. So every so often, when someone says something to the contrary, I am either surprised or skeptical (partly this is because I live in a region where people are known for just being nice, partly this is dependent on my mood). So it seems to me that I probably most need to improve my sense of self worth; and the advice or counsel is just to remember, as my friends have long pointed out, to take into consideration what I have actually done, and to view it myself as positive and worth considering as meaningful.
Not feel so sadened by my spouses death. Do new things. Not feel rushed.
Ive always been present when listeening to others when they want to talk. I have a set of chairs in my office that everyone calls t he talking chairs. I know i am there for others. But twice recently mindfulness , being in the present.was brought up to me. And after a painful conversation in which i was told i was dismissive, i realized that i am not listening when I'm the one who needs to talk. That i need to be more open or provide more acknowledgement when someone is providing a suggestion or input to me. I often am stressed and still in the angry phase of dealing with my husband of 8 years dementia. So when someone says for example "have you looked into meds for. Him" and my answer "we tried it, didnt work " i shoukd actually say "thank you, we will look into that". Etc. I m going to work on mindfulness and my being present to others
This coming year, I am going to focus on myself for the first time. I have always been so concerned about how other people feel and what I can do for others, and I neglect myself. Even as I type this, I'm exhausted because I've been over-scheduling myself, partly to avoid being alone with my thoughts. This goes hand-in-hand with being kinder to myself, and I think that will improve me. I want to find what makes me happy, and actively do those things. I will continue to use my "I love myself today because..." journal as a guide to help me truly love myself, because I haven't (loved me).
I 'd like joy again. I've been playing it so safe, protecting myself but it's isolating and I miss joy. The piece of advice that will probably serve me best is "Let it Go" but the ego is tenacious. I've always thought I didn't care what people think about me but everytime I'm struggling to say yes instead of no there is a thought in the back of my head saying "what will people think" That thought is almost more or might be more insistent than the fear of being hurt or losing.
i want to raise the bar for how i let people treat me. i can make excuses for people i love, give them every benefit of every doubt. i justify people treating me negatively by saying i deserve it or they didn’t mean it, tell myself they have so much going on. i don’t like that. i want to be treated with kindness. full stop. i worry that i’m the safe place to dump negativity. am i too understanding and welcoming. i am the person to go to when you’ve used up all your trying on someone else. “people do what they want” if someone wants to be nice to me, they will.
I would like to become more relaxed and happier, and especially to rid myself of all the sick, distorted lessons I learned from my "mother' about everybody noticing everything I do all the time
The improvement I would really like to see is being able to ignore others' opinions and expectations of me. Right now, I am avoiding a lot of people because I am so sick of this, a lifetime of people pleasing has left me drained and not really sure who I really am....I just want, no need, to be done with this and have some peace. I get advice and support at my current ACA group, I am not the first human being to go through this. Wish me luck and Godspeed.
I would like to have better social skills and connections. Get a job where I fit in and make enough money to be self supporting. I would love to get rid of the excess weight on my body. The advice and counsel I received is to meditate. I hear it in Abraham Hicks, Joel Goldsmith, etc... I just have hard time stopping the chatter in my head. And remembering to actually do it.
I need to tend my inner garden. I need to really show up for my parts and let them teach me to be the presence they seek and I seek to be. If I am to be rightly guided on this next phase of my journey, I need to do this, to surrender to the wisdom of my parts so that they can relax into being what they are truly here to be and so that they can guide me on my path forward.
Don't take people at first glance. Don't believe what men say, more of actions. Don't believe them so quickly give it at least three to six months to prove their worth. I want to be less emotional on small things. Give myself more compassion that I give to others. Don't be so critical of myself in my job, family, health, and freaking with money, and men and friends. Think very hard before I do things, but be open to life's adventures. Enjoy the life while I still am here to do it! Be positive!
I’d like to be more present in dating and romantic relationships. I often get bogged down in the past (thinking about exes or comparing current partners to exes) or speculative about the future (where is this going?). I’d like to focus more on the journey itself and enjoy things for what they are as they happen. Somebody shared a (crude) quote with me that really resonates: If you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you’re pissing on the present.
I need to deal with health issues (minor but painful) and deal with loss of appetite and get eating better and I need to get more active. I also need to deal with mild depression and learn new coping skills. I am receiving services to help me with all of this and I would be foolish not to work at all I am being taught. There is no one thing that guides me - I have a whole team. My daughter-in-law has been very helpful and she along with my daughter have organized my bedroom for it to be more comfortable and safer.
Let go of my “have to’s” or “should do’s” and live in the moment. Let go of my expectations of others and instead express and feel gratitude for what I have and who I am. Piece of advice: you can’t change someone else’s feelings. Time will heal.
I would like to be more patient. Although this advice was given to me many years ago, it is still relevant: Learn from the bad and throw it away. Savor the good.
I'd like to lose 40 pounds and feel better.
I would like to have achieved my fitness goal of leaning out to around 20-23% body fat. It took me eight months to drop from 32% (02/2019) down to 26% (10/2019), so I know that goal is going to take months of more hard work to achieve, but it turns out that I really enjoy the results of regularly lifting weights, and tracking my macros has more or less become a routine habit at this point... I think it may be a struggle to stay on track when it is just Corey and me in the house again, but I'm hoping he will continue to be supportive of my goals and help me stick to my macros as he takes on more cooking around the house again. We'll see in a year!
Be of service as coach and hospice volunteer Go slow Stay mindful Grow smaller
Continue to work on being okay with just being with me. While I want a partner, I'd love to just be happy with just being with me at times as well and not it leading to me feeling lonely.
Trust in the flow of abundance, keep going, you are so incredibly supported, and point your prayers.
J aimerai moins’ etre focalisée sur le regard des autres, avoir plis confiance en moi, arrêter de regarder les autres et me centrer sur moi. Oui le conseil que j ai eu c est « moi » me centrer sur moi.
Be more proactive, be less expecting. Be less trustful, in a non expressive way. Move faster. I'd like to be a more trascendant, purposeful person. Achieving success doing things.
I would like to be a more patient person. And to be able to take my own advice about living life in the present and to the fullest.
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by (1) Getting a new job or more time off in my current job (quality of life); (2) Explore potential positive relationship; (3) Keep a strong real estate portfolio, probably not grow it this year unless there is an amazing value.
I really want to feel at peace when I'm alone, but also not sabotage any chance at being with someone when I'm not alone. My therapist said, in response to my wanting to be okay, that maybe it's okay to not be okay. I want to make room for the loneliness, without it becoming hopelessness.
I'd like to be a better leader and rely on the help of others more. I can't keep trying to do so much on my own. I need to get better at recognizing the abilities in others so that I can leverage their efforts towards a common goal. I need to get better at providing both praise and criticism in a timely manner.
I want to celebrate all the awesome shit in my life and dump the garbage that isn't my garbage. "I don't care about your mom's feelings I care about yours." That's what I want to move forward with, no one else's stuff.
Not following the advice of experts, nor worrying about what I think that others will think of me. Consult with them, educate myself, then ask, "Is this okay with me?" Trust my inner wisdom.
I’d like to procrastinate less about things that need doing or could be done. Currently, I practically sit on my hands waiting for things to change, rather than going out and changing them.
STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR WILL DO. God will deal with it. It is not up to so and so when you leave, what you do, if you will be successful, etc. God can provide, God decides and His Word is the final word on the matter.
I think that finding friends should be a focus, as well as procrastinating less. Those things seem like they would help a lot. Also figuring out religion.
Given the choice, I'd really rather stay at home than be with a group of people. But I need to find a simple way to be part of a community and to make some contribution through volunteer work.
I want to feel stable and strong emotionally an physically. I would like to find love, but at the same time not let that search define me. Last year I focused on not getting stuck on the "how" but being able to shift strategies to obtain what I want. This year will be all about building and rebuilding relationships at work and in life, and I think the most important thing will be to listen. Practice active listening and understand what the other person wants without filtering their answers based on what I want. Not taking the time to learn about others and listening had gotten me in trouble in the past and I would like that pattern to stop.
My advice to myself from last year really resonates. I am in control, and I am in the driver's seat. I've gotten about 2 monthes of good, small choices strung together, and I know I can keep on it. It took me another year to get on track, and an extra 50 lbs, but I'm here, and I'm woring on it.
listen to myself; be proud of what I've done and accomplished; be gentler with my family; love Mike even more
Continue working on compartmentalizing family and work, so as not to let one have too much influence over the other, when there. Unless there's a problem or emergency, I'm generally good about leaving family issues aside when at work. But still not so great at leaving work issues aside when at home.
Travelled more. Even London and more day trips.
My biggest improvement would be a discipline: stick to what I plan.
I would love to be free from debt! But that probably won’t happen until at least 2021, and it’s not really an improvement of self. I do want to have my nursing assessments be smoother. I can’t wait to have free time to enjoy moments with people again, instead of always feeling pressed for time. I think this program is great for me but that I will need to remember to work on becoming more relaxed/undistracted again once it’s over. I can’t wait to be a parent!
Going back to my yoga theme... Tapping into my true self and recognizing the things that are good for me and in-turn those around me. In the first yoga sutra 1:1 Patanjali says (and the translation varies a bit), "Now, begins yoga," or "here now, begins yoga." So I will continue to practice and start EVERYday. Now.
I would like to make time to take walks. My doctor says 150 mi it’s of exercise a week. I need it both physically and mentally.
Love more; live more; worry less
I love my answer from last year: "Worry less, pray more. Spend time with friends. Keep off the weight. Don't get another dog -- the one we have is perfect." Over this next year I'd like to improve myself and my life by adding intentional creativity.
Love you. Just keep loving you. Just try like fuck. I know it's not easy. I know you're not naturally inclined to it. But love you like hell. You are so worthy of love. And it is the only thing that will get you through the rest of your life.
You are responsible for your own happiness. do not rely on others for that. They can enhance and contribute but if you depend solely on others for that, you will be sadly disappointed. I want to get out of my own head and try to improve myself daily. I have a new group of supportive people in my life now that I should be able to accomplish these things. I am in a much better place now than I was at this time last year.
Like every year, I'd like to be healthier and happier. This would require me to get up off my butt and do what needs to be done. I've had a lot of free advice thrown at me lately. It's mostly worth what I paid for it.
I would like to make more time for myself to practice self-care, whether exercise, grooming, going out with friends, or spending time reading or in creative pursuits. The advice that could guide me that you don’t have to ask permission to take up space, to take care of yourself, to prioritize yourself.
I want to keep improving my skills at work. I've come a long way so far and they still like me! I want to get better and better at my job and perhaps in a couple of years or so I can be one of the leads on my team. I feel like it will happen. And, like every year, I want to lose lots of weight and control myself with my eating habits. And become stronger physically and mentally.
Over the next year I’d like to have more deep, meaningful conversations with people at all stages of my life and maybe put them in a podcast or audio file for me to reflect on later in life. I’d like to put myself in more emotionally vulnerable situations over the next year.
JUST DO IT! Seriously, you have to put yourself out there an make the choice to just do the thing you want. It's scary but make that choice. It's ok to be anxious but you can make it happen.
In the following year, I want to be more mindful. Mindful of my space, of my time, of the energy I put out, and about the core values that I hold dear. "In three words, I can sum up everything in life:It goes on," Robert Frost. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks, binging, tough classes, tough people, feeling alone, and especially not feeling enough, with time, therapy, and being mindful, these can and will pass. You are going to face trials, and feel crappy, but these are parts of growing up. You are allowed to hate and dislike these things, because they fucking suck and they are going to happen, but also we can do some fun shit on the side. And these don't have to make you grow, they are just things you gotta talk through and let flow through, so that you can continue your life. You are strong, and powerful, and you are growing even if these things are around.
I would like to improve myself by finding a fulfilling job that pays at least $81,000/year by January 1, 2020.
I need to put my filter in place. At work, I need to be able to keep my opinions and emotions in check. Some audiences appreciate the passion others do not.
JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT. Been sitting on waaaay to long on projects that I want to happen without actually really doing anything about them. BE PROACTIVE. MAKE IT HAPPEN. HELP YOURSELF!
*Continue on the path to better health and activity. *Continue to check in with myself and be mindful, present, calmer and more sanguine. *Continue to find ways to be kind and compassionate - aware of the interconnectedness of all beings and how I can decrease negative impact and increase support and help to those who are suffering.
Move more. Play guitar more. Worry less.
I would like to worry less about what I cannot control; I would like to devote most of my time to the sweet spot between what matters and what I can control.
Health - see previous question. But I think this gets more to the how. And how? Pay attention, mindfulness, am I hungry, am I full?, smaller portions, more tasting, more moving about. Love yourself. Show kindness to everyone but keep your boundaries.
Show yourself some compassion.
If you want something, go after it. Don’t wait for it to come to you.
Go with flow. Let things come to me and not feel like I need to control or so until the spirit moves me.
Think about whether something or someone is constricting you or freeing you.
Next year, I want to learn to be me. My advice to myself is to love who you are. The good and the bad, and the stuff you think is bad but deep down you know just makes you.. you. Be confident, know you’re doing okay, we’re all doing okay. There will be ups and downs, surround yourself with people who see you, and appreciate you. Stop trying to be someone else... you are right where you need to be.
I want to continue to strengthen my ability to set boundaries and authentically listen to my needs and wants. I also want to work on challenging myself to overcome fears and anxieties.
The biggest thing that is holding me back from improving my life is my obsessive thoughts around my identity as ftm transgender. It is all I can think about most days, and I just long for a day where it doesn't take up all of my time. I can only imagine the amount of things I could get down in the same time that I spend trapped in my own thoughts paranoid about passing and dysphoria. If I can free myself of that vice then my life will improve exponentially.
Looking at last year's answer, I'm really happy to see that I have successfully made that change. Next year, I hope to do better at creating meaningful family life. I hope I do better at giving my family my energy and attention, and creating the day to day memories that will make up my kids' perceptions of their childhoods.
I need to place one foot in front of the other and just move forward.
The most salient piece of advice that I received this year was both at the Faulk Center in the Emotion Regulation group and then reiterated during a conversation with my wife that may have been BCE at the time. We were discussing how, since my upbringing, I have always felt that it is important to have an answer or reply, to have one FAST, and to be right. This has resulted in me always answering questions people ask immediately, wanting to "one up" people by being RIGHT, replying to emails and texts immediately, and basically always feeling as though I have to respond perfectly immediately. At the Fault Center, I practiced being asked a question and answering, "I'm not sure right now. I will think about that." It was TOUGH. With Jen, I am impressed by and admire the way she can get a text or email and just sit on it.. sometimes for days, sometimes forever LOL. She knows urgent from non-urgent, but she doesn't allow anyone, or more importantly her own anxiety, to drive her actions, and that's a form of self-control that I seek. I want to slow down and not allow others to dictate my response timeline but moreover to tell myself that it is a-ok to chill out.
I'm currently, and have been for some time, struggling with impatience in new relationships. I need to refrain from putting so much pressure on myself and to jump to conclusions, so maybe instead work on simply being. Or at least finding a better balance. There has been bits and pieces offered by friends in the past year, but I can't think of any strong through line to help me shake these feels. I sometimes find myself wanting to "improve" by needing people less, but I think that's a ridiculous line of thinking. Instead, maybe I just need to rely on myself more and figure out how to make that equally or more satisfying.
I thought the question was "Know what you want?" Turn it into a statement or directive: "Know what you (really) want." and that suggests limits…yes? Anyway, , about 60 years ago, I think it was my brother-in-law who said, "Don't sweat the little shit." So...I should stop beating myself up for truly minor imperfections, oversights, mistakes. Still, they make me perspire a bit!
I want to be more focused on the things I really want to do, instead of the things that are just easy and mindless. I've received advice and counsel in the past but wasn't very good about following it. I just need to push myself a little harder.
I've learned the value of abundance thinking and got my tattoo as a daily reminder of the perspective I want to bring to my life and to those around me. I hope that this leads me to build a more fearless, joyful lifestyle and that this energy becomes contagious.
Last year's goal was to focus on small changes to develop a better routine in food/fitness. I feel like I have done exactly that! I've streamlined my meal prep so I'm making healthier decisions without stress. Right now I'm in the middle of a no sugar/no gluten challenge and I feel so free! No longer am I white knuckling against candy. I look forward to the gym and enjoy the process. My goals for this time next year: Build my community - fitness is such an important part of my life. I'm the Honest event coordinator but I feel like those members are just at a different place in life - but I'll continue to show up to events and try. I am most excited to see where my experience with Blue House leads. I hope doing that Open will help me build friendships! Reroute my stress relieving habits. It used to be FOOD and TV, but I'm trying to do yoga/podcast/walking/etc. This past month has been a great success, but I hope to strengthen that even more. Rewiring my brain with alternative behaviors is totally possible! Fully embody "Staying in my lane." I've always been motivated by the leader board, but I hope my experience with the Open and being a little fish at Blue House will change that. I want to measure success by how much effort I gave, not the outcome of the race. My biggest piece of advice - Feel the fear and do it anyway. Never let yourself wonder, "What if?" Leave no doubt at the end of your day.
Stop relying on men for anything. Cultivate yourself. You are enough.
I'm happy that in the past year I have successfully worked on my health! I'd like to keep at it. The advice I've taken to heart is that while it's expensive, I'm investing in my health for years to come.
Pay attention when money or status makes me feel important. Or happy. Be aware of how easy it is to be addicted to that easy, dangerous high.
My daughter Ashley sent me a book with some advice in it. One was to not take things personally. Often times people react, based on their past, but not much related to what is happening between us at the moment. This has been good advice for me. For the coming year, continue to work on these main issues for me: More acceptance and less judgement of others; more expressions of gratitude for all that I have; more compassion for others.
Let go. That feels like my message for this year. I want to meet go of so much dependence on my phone and gadgets and TV and engage more in real life
I have been advised to look into emdr therapy, which sounds like a good idea. It's supposed to be good for PTSD, which I am becoming more and more aware is something I have suffered most of my life. Certainly since I was a young teen. But, because for so long, girls and women just kept these things to themselves, I just pushed it all down, due to embarrassment, shame, humiliation, and the horror I felt thinking about it. I never really told anyone all of it, though have told a few people some of it. I wonder if perhaps this therapy would allow me not to talk about it, but to learn ways to cope. The past few years, with the Orange Nightmare in the White House, have brought it all to the fore. I really need to come to terms with all of this, because I need to try to live a long time for Molly, and this could interfere.
I’d like to be kinder to others and to myself. I’d like to be more patient and more positive in stressful situations. I’d like to be healthy and happy and here next year.
Be patient and always trust in the creator, have no fear! What will be, will be he knows what is best.
I would like to improve my time management, but that’s a sisyphean struggle.
I would like to be healthier next year. No specific advice or counsel led me down this path (that’s I know of)... but m I have signed up for a year’s worth of gym appointments and am hoping to maintain some level of this whole-food, plant-based, low oil/salt/sugar diet. It has been absolutely transformative in only a week and a half. My hope it to keep it up going forward 80% of the time.
Prioritize my income, by increasing my pay rate-focus on delivering higher better services to our clients so I can continue to grow my income at the high level I deserve.
I need to become more empathetic, rather than haughty, when regarding the growth of my 16-year old son. It is easy to criticize, complain about, and punish him for various behaviors (which undoubtedly are necessary at times), but it is easy to forget how difficult it is to be a teenager. I need to get better at that because he will still very much be one at this time next year.
I don't recall any advice other than from my boss who told me to stop getting so stressed and to not worry because I'm doing fine (work-wise). I think I've already chilled out and having a proper holiday made me realise how important true time off is. Reminds you a little of what life's about. It's really easy to forget that you're going to die one day and when I do some other person will replace me at work someone else will live in my home, etc., etc. It probably sounds wrong but I want to improve by living more and caring less.
So much to learn... hopefully at least one of the following: how to play piano; a programming language; a query language; database management; how to be a better friend; how to deepen friendly acquaintanceships into meaningful, reciprocated friendships; italic cursive calligraphy. My son is learning, and I miss it. It's important to me, to show him that education doesn't end with school.
Don’t act on emotion. Calm down first and think logically.
Be more all about me....make sure I’m taking care of myself....no one else is going to do ti fro me. Not to be concerned about others.....it’s not my business....best. I should stay out of it. That’s my Dad talking to me, mind your own damn business. Trying to help others has often gotten me in trouble. Be the best person I Can be! It’s all about me.
I want to continue to focus on being present and being the moment. Link will only be this age for such a short time and I don’t want to wish away this time for future time. The other big focus is allowing myself to ask for help and also set boundaries. My resources are now limited and I want to make sure I am not stretching for people that aren’t Zac or Link. As holidays and other things come up with family there is a lot of new things we are going to have to do and say to keep balance and peace. It’s ok to not always be “easy” and stand up for my family.
I'd like to spend more time with my daughter, instead of hiding with Netflix and a computer game.
Sometimes a step down is for the best. I got a promotion a little over a year ago, and while things went ok. They just went ok. I did ok at the role but I really didn't like it. So recently, I took a step down. Back to a role that I've done before, a role I know I can excel at; I'm not going to grow much at this role, but I think that's ok. I think it's what is best for the team, the project and even me! This will allow me to enjoy work more, be less stresses and free up some personal time.
I need to improve my diet and walk more. Also I need to involve myself in my new Florida community when I am there. If I am going to permanently lived there I have to establish a life there.
I want to be more open about myself so that I can make deeper emotional connections with others. No specific advice, just finally accepting that it's okay to be yourself and not worry about others' opinions
Don't overthink. Stay present and grateful. Relax. Remember the big picture. Stand up for yourself. Take advice to better yourself. Listen to Alex and what makes him happy and also communicate what you want and need. Confidence. Don't over do it but work hard. Stay focused when it's time to work and fully let go when it is time to relax. Listen to other moms advice but know that there is a right answer for you and stay strong with your opinions and feelings.
I just want to improve full stop. I 'd love to have a more robust income, to be more independent and to not have to rely on my credit cards to get by. I am a positive and resilient human but seriously, this ongoing battle to get ahead is relentless. Melbourne has done me no favours no have I done myself any favours within Melbourne let's be honest. I have sunk into a pit of laziness. Struggling to motivate me to do anything. I need to believe that I can get out of this situation. to realise just how much potential I truly have. You just have to see, believe and take action to craft a new reality. My last years' advice still stands. 1. I'd like to get a tattoo to remind me of: 1. We will all die eventually 2. Meditate every day, it keeps you sane 3. Stay fit 4. Be organised (where possible) 5. Save more It will use the mantra, change is constant, stay present, be awesome. Past - present - future are one I have received a couple of pieces of advice, one, was don't obsess over the pain caused by the person who lied, stole from and cheated on you. the other was always look forward but stay present right now. Logically I guess, we can't change the past, but we can prepare a better future if we are looking closely at now.
Trust myself. Simple.
I want and need actual relationships. I know a good number of people but they aren't really friends, all of my "friendships" are superficial and extremely limited. I have casual sex and that's not a problem or something I'm ashamed of, but I realized that I am not able to have an actual relationship, I just don't know how to build (social) intimacy. After years of a depression crises, I'm now better and want and long for meaningfull relationships. I just don't know how to do it. I feel so alone all of the time and makes getting better so much more difficult. Also I really need to be better at handling money, I'm constantly on negative and I don't even know how.
I'd like to lose some weight and get in better shape. I loved taking classes with Todd.
I want to be more intentional about my spiritual life: plan one or two spiritual retreats with friends, or guided in a special way; my physical life active with planned exercise, and just plain outdoor activity; psychological life with care and concern for my inner child who needs to be reigned in, and grown up about moods; my social life by planning more dinner parties and having family events here at the house; and write at least a draft of my book of memoir.
I want to concentrate ever more on blessings: blessing food, blessing doorways, slowing down to appreciate the wonder in the every day. One's relationship with G-d is not about pyrotechnic miracles; it is about the miracles staring us in the face.
Go out and do something for yourself each day, take time to rest, and do things for pleasure without feeling guilty. Be as kind and loving to myself as I am to other people
By this time next year, I would like to have finished decluttering, organizing, and making repairs in my condo while still taking the time to engage in activities that feed my soul and mind and make me physically healthy. Since I am trying to overcome being a hoarder, this is a large task, but if I can stick to it and balance everything, I think I can accomplish it.
Simplify! Do few things, thoroughly. If you're overwhelmed, dump the excess weight. It's worth it.
Make my old self understand that I can't do as much as my young self did. When, in your mind, you still think you can do things you did in your 20's and 30's but now that you are in your 70's, you can't. It's a hard lesson to learn - no one told me this, I learned it by trying to do what I can't anymore.
I would like to be better organized in my house; I would like to plan more efficiently; I would like to not waste time. Just start would be the advice on getting stuff done but it does not tackle how to start.
I think my answer this year is likely to be the same as last year - say yes to things, take the option of spending time with people, be more open about myself
No I realise that all depends on me so I just want to continue to work be happy and enjoy my extra days, I want to spend more time with my dad , hopefully I will be health to continue to enjoy life
I'm full-on repeating my answer from last year because I still 100% think this is my answer. I would like to be healthier, both mentally and physically. I would like to be more self-confident and proud of who I am. There’s so much stigma around chronic illness shaming and body shaming that has inspired me to not let those defeat me but empower me to be the best version of myself possible.
Be open to new opportunities and do not be afraid. Take a risk on happiness.
I would like to worry less about the little things as well as make more interpersonal connections. Just because I'm shy doesn't mean I can't reach out to people.
Again, I'd answer living my life to the fullest - aim for a sense of well being & happiness, and a meaningful contribution to others both those I know personally and those I can help thru social activism. In temple this morning, with talk of forgiveness for sins and asking for life & prosperity - they didn't ring true for me - rather than hoping I have life next year - I hope however long I have my life - it is meaningful to me and those I impact.
I want to eat better and feel healthier. That means eating real food, eating less, moving more and lifting weights. Start today. Tomorrow is never a certainty, the years go by quicker the longer you wait.
Start walking daily. I've gotten out of the habit, but the cost of being sedentary is going to be steep. Go the the Senior Center gym. Dance just for the fun of it. I'm also looking forward of getting more and more clutter. And get to the bottom of this mysterious illness to determine if it's fixable, or if I need to adjust and accept.
I'd like to keep celebrating Life & Nature more & more each day! This past year, trees have been communicating with me. They are full of Light & are guiding my way, both during waking hours & in dreamtime!
A few weeks after 10Q finished last year, I sat next to a woman with whom I'd made friends at a conference on the shuttle back to the airport and we both talked about how the change we really needed was to be braver. So I have been! And I will continue to be, because I'm not done yet.
I'm improving myself with my quest to do my best & progress on America's Got Talent. I've learned from bitter experience that the best way to deal with audition or contest disappointments is to do your best without expectations.
I want to be a better father. I'm a great dad in some regards, and a really shitty dad in others. I don't always respond to things my kids do in ways that I feel good about later. I sometimes yell at or scold them for things that are perfectly innocent things kids do. I sometimes take my stress and frustration from other aspects of my life out on my kids, and I don't like doing that. They don't deserve to be treated that way, and I want to change that about myself.
I would like to practice more gratitude. To be less selfish. To go outside more and to spend much, much less time on my phone.
From Oprah / Maya Angelou, “”When you know better, you do better.” Want to finish step work including Step 9
More tidy, get a cleaner, more organised, cook in advance, cut down on sugar, take more exercise, take the kids outdoors more, get creative, declutter, take singing lessons, play. Advice? I think maybe being organised would help free time for other things.
Be happy and less fearful. Believe things can get better even at this age. Not all about sliding towards death. Most recent helpful advice was to be fatalistic. I've just flown without too much terror so it must be helping.
It's not something anyone can really set a timeline for, but I want to progress through my 12 Step work. It's something we do at our own pace, and yet it's easy to let that be an excuse to be lax. Interestingly, it is my husband who has helped by telling me that he is "withdrawing" every evening into his work area to journal and reflect. I can certainly use any time of day, but it makes sense to use that same time period. I also think I should have a basic schedule for my home chores and for relaxation. I have been on my own on vacation for four days with only fun things to do on no timetable, and it makes me think of home and how I let the days slide by. Yes, I am retired; but I still need to maintain a routine and take care of my home. I am helped by so many 12 Step slogans: Just for Today, One day at a time, Keep it simple, How important is it? In my case to make sure I attach appropriate importance and accomplish things.
I’ve tried and tried to get more sleep and it just doesn’t seem like I have it in me. I downloaded Dave Stiller’s Habitica app and I really don’t know if that gamification stuff is working for me. I need to continue working on being more present; especially when I am with my kids. I can continue with some of the things from last year like stressing less and working on my anxiety issues. I need to keep performing though to be able to overcome them until I decide it’s no longer fun or worth it. The conversation I had with myself after the Atlanta United game that I recorded on my IPhone notes was helpful and I should probably try that again. Other than that, I would like to try and see a shrink this year as I’ve never tried that
I want to practice authenticity. Stop doing what I feel obligated to or guilted into. Be exactly who I am and do what inspires me, motivates me, energizes me. The Cairo Journey. If Gd can work to bring Cairo to doggie heaven when I was obsessing thinking he was going to be put to sleep in a shelter, then Gd can work miracles in every area of my life and I don't have to worry, stress or try to control outcomes, especially with people. I can let them figure out their lives and choose what's best for them just like I have to figure out my life and what's best for me. Within one hour after stressing out about euthanasia, I got a text that my friend from the dog park who asked her friend who posted it on instagram. This guy never goes on instagram and just happened to that moment, saw Cairo's pic and Cairo is now in PA with a family and a community, with lots of backyard grass to run around in and kids and dogs to play with and now has a sister, Zena and they love each other and sleep and play together. If Gd could do that..........He can do anything!!!
The way I'd like to improve myself is to not improve myself. Instead, I'm working on accepting myself and all my parts. I'd imagine gratitude reflections and a welcoming attitude towards myself will help me here.
Maintain my run & calorie tracking routines. It has worked so well so far - keep that up until I reach my goal weight, and then maintain it!
One item is weight loss. This has bedeviled me for two years now and the 3 lb. I put on in Nova Scotia will not leave! I have to maybe get Doctor help to solve this as I just do not eat much and work out vigorously 3 times weekly? Good counsel came from Bible Group buddy Bill, who in simple questions helped me to see clearly that a lovely young lady who is now effectively a daughter to my wife and I was brought into our lives by divine intervention. I can celebrate her now for what she is, and she has confided to me that Yes, I am the Father Figure over her whole 21 years. What a blessing. Looking back to last year, the travel goal has been met and surpassed!
Keep it simple, stupid. Think twice, act once. Sleep on it. As to what to do, it does not change much from year to year. My 2018 was: My answer from last year (2017): This sounds akin to New Year's resolutions, but here it goes: 1) spend less time on the computer and more time at concerts and dances; 2) start playing the guitar again; 3) read more paper books; 4) cook more; 5) run a 10K in less time than my age; 6) spend more time with family and friends
You can do anything. You are capable. You have a good memory. You are stronger than you think. People like you. You are perfect as you are.
Find emotional Support! Find a way to be supported and balanced. Meet your needs. Not everything belongs in your housekeeping department, do things just for your enjoyment!
I would like to improve my self care with specific emphasis on taking care of my own financials and with my health. I give myself too little, procrastinate and do not make my own finances and preventive health a priority. I would like to report change on both fronts for 5780.
Looks like I will just be repeating last year's list. I didn't get better at any of the things: really messed up the finances, didn't keep up with friends, and the house STILL hasn't been painted. Here's hoping I will be able to mark these all as done NEXT October!
I continue to try to improve my mind and my body. Lose some weight (to 120lb), continue to study and enhance my intellectual life, continue to meditate and enhance my spiritual life. Advice: Don't be afraid to start over. This time you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.
Slow down. Breathe. Enjoy. Love big. Forgive yourself and cut yourself some slack.
I would like to try some new and different activities, especially those that will help me to be involved with other people and build community.
Intentionality -- thinking about what I want to do and doing it. Not worrying so much about pleasing others, but also being mindful of those I care about (family/friends) and making active decisions about doing things with them because it pleases me and strengthens the relationship (not because I feel I "have to").
Letting go of wrong decisions or hurtful moments. Being more present and not worrying about what ifs
I need to do some light exercise and lose some weight. I know it would make me feel better and give me more energy.
I'd like to have no debts except the mortgage and be on the way to being debt free.
Write, meditate and exercise every day. Best advice has been to set an achievable goal to motivate yourself and hope that it spurs you onto doing more than you hoped or thought achievable.
I would like to be more adventurous. At the same time, I would like to be safe— watching friends go through struggles is hard. But i don’t want to live my life under the stairs. I want to see the fireworks.
Lose weight, get fitter and healthier. Improve CFS and have more energy to do the things I enjoy. Some advice I read recently is that self-care is not selfish, it's necessary.
I want to feel better. I want to have a new narrative about my son. I want not to be so on edge and ready to blow all the time. I want to do what I want more and not what others want me to- even if that means I don’t want to do anything. I want to start narrative therapy.
I want to be better about exercising, and eating healthy foods. Taking one step at a time is going to be crucial.
Care less about fleeting things once they are over; in other words, be present now - fully present. Do what's needed and move on with the next thing (specifically for 'me' auditioning).
Not to give up hope, to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to be more patient.
Learn to love what is! Do the work, ask the four questions and turn it around. Be a lover of reality. Are you enlightened yet, Lucy?
I will try to go deeper, deeper into relationships, deeper into myself, deeper in general
I have just started keeping track of exactly how much money I have in my checking account. I want to get to the point where the accounting is automatic and I don't have to think about it so much. I also want to be saving more money to my emergency fund.
Same answer as last year. Why can’t I follow through? Flexibility and agility are still impacted but that is no excuse.
I would like to travel at least a trip or two during the next year. I would like to improve my stamina and health. I have to remember not to sweat the small stuff. Would like to serve my home and work families better. I have to be bold in stepping out snd trying new things. Fesr is useless, trust is what is needed.
I want to find something I’m passionate about this year. I’m not sure what this will be yet - activism? Art/craft? Some combination of those? My boss always says to me, throw it on the wall and see what sticks. It’s good advice for innovation at work and I think it could be good for trying new things. I also want to improve myself in more concrete ways - I’d like to eat healthier and get into an exercise routine. My dad gives me the best advice for that - do it! You’ll feel better!
I want to take better care of my body. I want to walk more and eventually do Couch to 5K again. I want to eat better--keep with the anti-inflamitory diet to see if it helps the pain in my joints, etc.
I hate to say it, but it may be a fake it til you make it. Or, truly, just fake it.
I am done trying to improve myself or my life. I am absolutely living my best life right now, for all its challenges and struggles, so it doesn't need me to improve it. Likewise, I have reached a place where it feels important not to try to manage my own growth. I will do the emotional and spiritual work that presents itself as mine to do. I trust Spirit to present and direct the work itself. This letting go is only possible because of the decades of letting-go work I began at the OE 30 years ago. I am grateful to be here and grateful to let go of this new layer of should.
I’d like to create more space for God to move through me and in my life. I’ve learned to allow issues to surface and to only ask questions I don’t know the answers to.
I want very much to be better at not taking work so much to heart. I get frustrated WAY too much and my health is suffering. I've been talking to caring people who say I need to do this but they don't seem to have any suggested methods other than just don't care as much. So I guess it's as simple and as complex as that. But it must happen so I can make it to retirement!
I would like to improve my mental wellbeing, and learn to believe in myself and my future more. ‘Don’t put yourself down so much’ I’ve been told, and ‘remember to love yourself’. I wish I could follow this advice more.
I want to be the healthiest happiest version of myself. I've been struggling with some self confidence lately. Whether that's second guessing my own thoughts and needing others to validate or help me make decisions, or if it's not being 100% proud of my body. I want to work hard on my fitness goals, without needing to be fit to love myself. And I want to be confident in my own ability to direct my life path without always needing approval from others.
Death. If not death, dating again. Or maybe a place of my own. But really, death is the preference.
Be kind and compassionate to yourself, as much as you are to others. It’s ok to not be perfect. Continue to take risks and be brave! This year, remember to be grateful for all you have and the wonderful people you have in your life. In tough times, it's what will get you through it; in joyous times they will lift you up as well.
I’m going to take it easy on myself this year. I could focus on self-improvement—exercise more, write more, try to get published—but all that would do is make myself miserable. I’m going to relish moments of happiness, find joy wherever I can. I’ve received a lot of advice this year, but taking care of myself is kinda good.
I would like to be more comfortable with risk, with uncertainty, with ambiguity. And better at managing my spend - being mindful about what I spend money on. I want to take some risks. Ideally the right risks! Which means being ok that some of them won't work out as planned.
I want the live the life I want. I don’t have forever, and I have things I want to do. I knew it, but also having people you know pass away, it reminds you, you only have so much time. I read most of Being Mortal, until it got hard... buying this house, and trying to remember to take time in it.
Starting with a piece of advice, I think the best advice I got over the past year (and which will be helpful this year) is to take change slow and give yourself time to observe. My boss gave me this advice about starting my job - not to jump in and try to make changes right away, but rather to observe first. I think it could extrapolated out to a lot of other facets of life. Now, how would I like to improve myself...I'm not sure. Per the advice above, I'd like to work on taking things slow, giving myself more time to think and more chances to absorb what's going on around me. This isn't always possible, but I think stepping back from any scenario can give helpful perspective and give you time to process. So I want to work on that, because I think it would help me be less stressed and to give me pause when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I just want to eat healthier and be nicer. “It’s a serious thing just to be alive, on this fresh morning, in this broken world.”
I really need to get more regular sleep. Many people have told me this as well. It will help my mood, productivity and health. It will also set a good example for my family.
I would like to stay with a healthy eating and exercise program, minimize procrastination, and continue to work on doing things that challenge me.
I would like to organize my living environment so that it can be a real haven instead of a source of stress and shame. I want to continue the modest exercise program I began over the summer. I've dropped off lately due to the demands of graduate school. I want to keep growing and improving as a teacher. The advice I'm striving to put into practice is, "something is better than nothing." I'm a recovering perfectionist, and since I started a deliberate practice of counting any progress as a win, however small, I see just how corrosive and pernicious perfectionism really is. I think it goes hand-in-hand with shame. I decided that 10 minutes of exercise was better than 0 minutes, so I did that, even though it's less than the "recommended" amount. Once I established that habit, increasing the length of time was easy. If I had insisted all along that it had to be 45 minutes, I wouldn't have done anything. As a career depressive whose depression has abated significantly in the past year or two, I'm careful now to look for the positive side of every situation, and to take time to feel good about what I accomplish rather than obsessing over what I don't get done. Contrary to what my harsh superego feared, this has not made me lazy -- on the contrary, I get far more done when I'm not dragging the ball and chain of shame everywhere I go.
My goal is to mediate and practice yoga more, even kickboxing, because all help me to be in the present moment, to stop worrying and replaying incidents, and to accept things as they are. I believe that to be the key to peace: acceptance. Accept what is, and work to things better where I can. First comes acceptance. If you don't accept that there is a problem, you can't be realistic about fixing it. Where I can simply observe how I am feeling and accept that, feel that, and then move forward, I feel much more peaceful and capable.
Looking back at last years answer, I am now praying regularly to God & finding myself more grateful. This year I will probably be loosing my job, so I need to find new avenues to keep busy & save money. I am thinking about selling my home & moving to a retirement community which would keep me busy. My piece of advice actually came at Rosh Hashanah from a prayer written by Rabbi Laura Geller - that is that everything can be made new again & I have choices to to change my book of life - it's not sealed & can be edited.
“Enjoy each other. Be happy. Chill.”
BO_UN_DA_RI_ES! Learning how to say no comfortably and pushing on the direction you want. Getting clearer on what your self worth is regardless of external validators and understanding that you are whole and complete how you are. When positivity and intention are a guide, you can manifest wherever the fuck you want!
Practice being more positive. Focusing on the good rather than ruminating. Better time management. I’m already on day 4 no coffee/sugar/alcohol/social media and doing Morning Pages AND on Day 133 Miracle Mornings AND day 86ish if writing 500 words per day towards my book... so I feel like I’m doing really well at shifting my life in the direction I’d like to move in. Which is to CREATE more consistently and feel a more stable sense of happiness.
I'm off to a good start: more organized, less messy, more conscientious about housework now that we're retired and are in our new home. There's been no advise or counsel spurring me on, just having more time and will power.
I want to be happier and more at peace with myself. I’m still running from the dark places that haunt me for my divorce. I recently met with my priest and told him the whole sad story complete with my confession. He offered me absolution. And he suggested a way forward to grow in faith toward salvation. It is my intention to immerse myself in the life of my church because I feel like peace and hope reside there.
A follow up to question 6 Take it one step at a time. Nothing fancy very basic but often forgotten. Remember to put your needs first It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Just like in an airplane in order to care for others you have to take care of yourself first,
My mantra for this year has been to "Let Go" because my stress and anxiety had ramped up to unsustainable levels and I was actively working to de-escalate my fear and anxiety. Working on practical tools in therapy only took me so far and it became clear through the work I was doing that I was co-dependent and it was having a major impact in all of my relationships. Beginning to understand boundaries and making a conscious effort to give up my illusion of control over others and focus on myself have been key to getting my stress under control so I am hoping to continue that work and see more signs of recovery in the following year. The advice I am striving to apply to my relationships with my recovery in mind are to: Lead with love Give up the need to be right Stop trying to control the other person Take 100% responsibility (for myself only, not for everything that may or may not work out).
I would like to develop my growing confidence and faith in myself into a solid rock of self-love to build my life on. Hear this - the only person to whom how you live your life matters is YOU.
Well, it's same-old-same-old here at 10QQ7. I need to get more and better exercise. I seem to have descended into more laziness than I could have imagined, which means very little progress in areas of my weight and general fitness. Of course there has been a tiny amount of progress. I think my new "to do" list program will continue to help me. But in general, it hasn't been a year for improvement, more like standing still.
"Sigue Practicando!" The great advice a well-wisher gave me when I was practicing Spanish with DuoLingo on BART. A fuss budget was shushing me, so I was just mouthing my responses at that point. I'm now almost up to 1,000 words, and picking up bits of conversation. Learning another language was something I always wanted to do. So that was a great piece of advice!
Keep listening and trying not to be right but to be understanding
I want to be easier on myself. In one month I will be 45. I want to practice real self love.
I wanna make money and cover all my expenses. I wanna publish my plays and write more. I wanna write a fuckton of poetry and publish them. I wanna be brave enough to put my vulnerable film online in a way that feels safe and okay for me. I wanna have thriving health. I wanna sell my tv pilots, and write more. I wanna make my own show. I wanna make my own feature film. I wanna honor divine timing. I wanna scream my fucking head off. I want the fire in my belly to find a home. I want to get paid to do psychic readings. I wanna live in abundance. I want to fall in love. I want to let my heart be broken. I want to tell the truth. I want to repair my nervous system. I want all the space in the world and I want to do it all. I want to walk on this earth. I want to deliver, and I want to arrive. I want to live in the search, to live in the not knowing, to get lost again and again.
I want to stop letting things I want fall by the wayside just because they’re hard. I want to not give up my heart to my work just because it asks. I want to not let myself stop learning. Also, I want to be kinder.
I would like to work less. Which everyone keeps telling me to do, but somehow it never happens. Maybe I should be draconian about it and refuse to check e-mail after hours and on weekends, but then I end up missing things.
I had my astrology chat done, my natal chart was interesting, but I would like to learn about myself currently. I was told to slow down in life, slow down driving. So by this time next year to be a little calmer in my life speed.
I must admit that I haven't been the nicest with people who came across as annoying to me. I'd like to improve on my patience with others and learn to not take anyone for granted. I'd also like to work on my self-discipline and motivation to make my dreams a reality. I didn't receive any advice in the past year that could guide me now, but my advice that I keep giving myself that has and will always guide me is: "Go. Just Go." It's time for me to get up and go.
Size 8, exercise 6/7 days a week, eat clean. People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do
This year has been a challenge. Something I really want to improve on in this year is being consistent in my life. For me that means maintaining my recovery from anorexia, which includes staying staying out of the hospital/treatment centers, and living a life that is fulfilling. A piece of advice that really stuck with me from this past year was the words "courage over comfort". The things I want in this next year are both exciting and terrifying, so this phrase is something I refer to often.
Focus. Be in the moment. Spend more time in the sim lab and practice so you leave Pittsburgh a world class surgeon.
I’m finally thinking about what my career can offer me and what I should ask for in exchange for all of my work. My life would be improved by more travel and debt relief, and for that I need to ask for what I’m worth and take steps to grow my career.
I'd say I've been on a path of improvement over the past several years. So next year, I'd like to continue the journey I've started...both with fitness and through therapy and working to find ways to make the hard parts of my life that I'd rather forget just be a piece of my life that doesn't make me feel horrible. The advice/counsel I've gotten is to believe in myself and to remind myself that I really do "have this." (whatever this might be).
I would like to get WAY fitter. Two pieces of wisdom I've read recently that I'm going to use to help me are: ---1--- The concept of "best weight" from Dr. Yoni Freedoff's work. Which is whatever weight a person reaches living the healthiest life that they can honestly enjoy. Because truly there will become a point where a person cannot happily eat less and a point where a person cannot happily exercise more and their weight is what I’d refer to as their best weight. ---2--- A concept that I can't remember where I heard, but the realization that feeling "into" going to work out or "not feeling into it" shouldn't determine if I work out or not. How have I let "not feeling it" decide for me for so many years? My foreward-thinking, mature self shouldn't get overruled by my lazy instant-gratification self. Just go do the damn thing.
I have been trying sort between those FB stories and posts that are based on people's wish that their real life looked like their virtual life and find those people out there whose stories I want to watch, who don't live ridiculously out of bounds from what's possible for me, but who also do live the way they want, take themselves seriously. More importantly, they strive to bring something permanent into this world--art, ideas, activism, humor. I am not sure what divides them from me (or if there is a divide), but the core thing I think I could learn from them is to fit that LIFE in the cracks of the life that feels like a perpetual block for so many of us: obligations and requirements, inconveniences, errands and piles of work, household duties, and financial burdens. What could I fit in the cracks? Last night, despite finding out minutes before we got there that my son had what looked exactly like bed bug bites on his leg, I danced at a VR event for the Tacoma Film Festival (my boyfriend's business was the sponsor for the event). We were much older than most people there, but I let go and browsed the shelves of children's books where the DJ was housed while I danced and tried to slip out from the pressing anxiety I felt. Seriously, people, a diagnosis of bedbugs (so, you know, your house gets the diagnosis, and it's as expensive as a long trip to the hospital) was devastating for me and exemplifies the kinds of things that take me down and strip me of my ability to find art in the cracks of my life. But, today, I made a beautiful meal of delicious things for my sweetie, am going to see a show of fabulous singers, sang AND danced yesterday. Can I count these as little triumphs? So, that's my counsel. I'm actually trying to find the little silver linings (getting bed bugs forces you to declutter, and I'm getting rid of many giant bags of stuff, plus my boys' rooms are clean now), so I can still dance and sing and make love and watch birds and eat yummy things while I'm under water with work and expenses and all of the everything of everything. I'd like my journal to be full of fun things and not 15 different ways to express how mad I am at myself for not exercising. I'm going to look to my best friend who is starting college again at 48. I'm going to look at my friends who have much more devastating physical conditions than I do who refuse to stop moving. I'm going to look at my friend Misti who has rewritten the way her life is shaped in her first year of 50, and all the other friends who are "doing it, for themselves." I'm going to look at aging rock goddesses. Maybe I'll BE an aging rock goddess. WW Joan Jett do??
1. Do less - understand work/life balance and stop taking on so much beyond your bandwidth 2. Delegate - others that are in your proximity are there for a reason, have them assist and support you 3. Be patient - especially with loved ones 4. Assume the best in others - quiet the negative tone that you add to people's emails/texts/etc. Don't worry if others disappoint you because you'll be better in the end for it/bounce back from it
I would like to remain calmer and more peaceful all the time. Advice is to stop, breathe and be present in the moment.
I want to calm down radically and not be anxious. I went for a long bike ride today, half off-road, in 95 degree weather. I have had a phobia about having my blood pressure checked and my worry has driven the number high at the doctor's office. After the ride today my BP was 128/68. This is the piece of advice: The mind is powerful. I want to spring forward from this and be calm. Tikkun Olam! (I hope I have used and spelled that correctly).
I would like to stay on top of my work, and figure out what direction I'm going career-wise. That might mean figuring out how to make money, but it also might mean figuring out how to be a mother. So I think I'm really pointing to following where life leads. I think the best piece of advice is: allow life to unfold, don't try to force anything; feel feelings, play, create.
I need to get better at being present when I'm playing with the kids. Take a deep breath and allow myself to move at their pace - when the schedule allows.
Change is good. Moving on when I can will be refreshing. Make friends and keep them. Getting old is not that bad.
I would like to continue to lose weight. My number goal is 125 but my real goal is to be able to zip my wedding dress back up. I would like to keep eating keto/paleo. I will feel better and feel healthier. I just finished reading Body Love by Kelly LeVeque, and although I'm not on board with everything in there, I like how she helps to make it a lifestyle change, even on the go or out to dinner.
In the coming year I would like to be more thoughtful and caring of others and myself. I want to think of what others need, to care for them and be a reassuring person in their lives. I also want to care for myself, physically and mentally. Returning to work next school year will be difficult, but in that transition I want to be sure to consider what I need in addition to the needs of others.
I have been working on improving my health over the past year--I have lost over 50 pounds! The next thing I need to work on is cutting down my alcohol consumption. Although it doesn't interfere with my life, I feel like I drink too much.
I would like to encourage myself to be more fit by this time next year. Within the coming year, I want to take my life to the next level by choosing to push myself to work hard to lose as much weight as I can. I would like to keep on a straight track towards better physical health. My mental health has never once been an issue for me, but my physical health has been making an impact on who I am as a person. My life would make a change as well, because I would feel gradually different from the rigorous force ahead of me. If there would be any piece of advice for me to say to myself, is would be three simple words: “Don’t give up!” For me as a person, these three words would be simplest encouragement that I could ever need. It has been a true act of procrastination, truly, that has prevented me from being my best self. Both in the physical and mental strategies, I always strive to be my best self, no matter the cost. Unfortunately, I have chosen to better my aspects as a person more towards the mental side of life, rather than the physical one.
Have more friends to do fun and spiritual activities with. The plans I had with Joe died with his ending us so I need to plan things on my own. To be more at ease and feel free to go to places like Kripalu and Mohonk Mountain House retreats. To be able to look back at the year and know that I was able to keep my commitment to not engage in the evil eye and remain free from talking about others in a negative or critical way. I have received the same advice from many people to sell my house, get off the hill and be free of the burdensome responsibilities the house ties me to and keeps me from being free to do the above. Where to move to...
I want to return to passion. I am spending a lot of time on things like my science fair that I am not truly passionate about. I am okay with this being part of my life so far, especially in high school I think it is a good thing, but moving into the next part of my life I want to double down on doing things I love and care about.
Pursuing a big goal takes just about the same amount of effort as pursuing a smaller goal, so you might as well go for the big goal. - Steve Schwarzman
Self improvement advice generally assumes that the same things make everyone happy. I thought for a long time that I would be happier if I did more of these things, but then I realized I am not doing them because they would not make me as an individual happy. So in order to be really happy, I want to do more of what I actually enjoy and try to avoid the things that I don’t benefit from. This sounds very simple, but considering that for me this means doing things that are less socially accepted and avoiding some of the more socially accepted things, it would actually be a big life change. However, it is exhausting to try to live in a way that is acceptable to people who have only a passing interest in my life. I have to live my life 100% of the time, so I should be the person who is the most happy with it.
I would like to work more on my time management. I have so many things I want to do, both in the purely productive spheres but also just plain fun. Being even a little bit productive will help my depression which means I'll do even more and it'll be a good spiral.
By this time I want to be living somewhere new. I love Memphis, and it will always be a home for me, but I am feeling stuck and desperately need a change of scenery. I have started looking for jobs, and my hope is that by this time next year I will be in the process of settling in somewhere new.
My hope is to always grow, the challenges I've faced only lead me to where I should be. I hope that this next year brings a bounty of success that creates abundance for my family.
My answer from last year still holds true: I want to feel that I made a sincere effort to live well and make a difference both in the lives of the people who I encounter each day (loved ones, random strangers, and everyone in between) and also to try to bring some more justice and healing to the world. I feel like I know what I have to do, it's just a matter of doing it consistently, over and over again.
This past year I really learned to "conjure the great spirit of fuck it," and that's something I definitely want to continue into this coming year. It's invigorating to just go for things without being afraid to fail, especially all these new social situations that I might normally find scary.
I still need work make sure take care of my teeth better. I also want be less lazy when get home after work like maybe go for walk or set table or learn how get Dinner ready for my parents.
I would like to be more calm and confident about our finances. As a newly minted housewife, I'm not earning my own money anymore, neither am I making independent decisions on what to do with my money. Feeling out of control financially makes me feel like I'm spinning out of control. However, Bobby makes it painfully clear on a spreadsheet how much he's making and where he/we plan to spend that money months in advance. We do have debts from the wedding that I wanted so badly, and we are on track in paying it. So why do I freak out like this? Because I'm not used to letting go of the reins.
My self-advise is...relax into life. What does this mean? Don't sweat the small stuff (and know what the small stuff is). Embrace and appreciate life and all the goodness that it holds. Try to not hold onto the painful parts, the hard parts, the tough parts of life. There WILL be tough times, challenging moments, devastating stuff that can derail you. But I want to practice peacefulness and bring ease into my life and not sweat the small stuff any more than I need to. Letting go of anxiety would make my wonderful life even better.
More exercise! I hate exercise and I feel so much better when I've done it. Also general household and financial habits--we're fine, but sloppy. That's for me. But for the country and the world--focus on changing the composition of the national government so we can start digging ourselves out of the muck of the past few years.
Clean and sort. Just do it!
I am hoping to improve my outlook on life. I want to be optimistic instead of looking for the down side. I continue to read all the items that I save to Pocket about this and I believe that there are some helpful pointers in there to practice.
Again it would be nice to finally be a driver, a working hypnotherapist & also to have lost some weight before I turn 50 in 2022. Or before our alledged honeymoon to Canada in 2021 xx 😘 One but of advice that comes to mind is that we’re not getting out of here alive so we should be taking those risks & living life to the full xx we’re not coming back at least to the same life anyway xx “SO STOP DREAMING AND START LIVING!” xx ❤️
I would like to continue studying Arabic, networking, and growing my immigration law experience. My articling principal gave me a lot of good advice about building your brand and that's what I need to remember and lean into.
I want to make the call. I often linger in self-doubt and push off making a decision, but this year I want to be a little more bold. I want to step outside my rational, normal thought and embrace a little bit of chaos. If not now, when?
To be honest it involves mainly practical matters, such as moving house, trying to find the meaning of home (within the daily grind).
In the next year, I'd like to focus more on my life goals, like working towards publishing a book, getting more involved socially, maybe finding a boyfriend, and getting my weight and budget on track. I'll take inspiration from Nana's advice: "Perserverance!"
It is never too late to develop a new habit (or break an old one). A routine done for 100 days is ingrained into habit. You can do anything for a hundred days.
I would like to be more stable in my central balance. To be more aligned with Life. Not to be swayed by what I perceive as others' need, or things that need to be done.
I'd like to feel stronger, and healthier in my body. I'd like to have re-established a regular yoga practice and ideally something cardio/heart-raising too. I've neglected that over the last couple of years (pregnancy, maternity, job with long commute) - and I'm feeling the effects (tiredness, generally a bit feeble, maybe even a bit lazy). I also want to be doing everything I can to be present as a Mum. Putting my phone away, switching the TV off - and instead, engaging, playing, talking, singing, acting the fool etc etc - as much as my little boy wants.
Next year I think I would like to continue growing in the discipline of organization so that it is second nature and not such a task. I would like to live in a peaceful, aesthetically pleasing, relaxed environment. I would also like to have a regular schedule and lead a more productive lifestyle, completing tasks and creative ideas in a timely manner.
I would like to be less judgmental and competitive - being better at hakhnasat orchim.
Be more forgiving of others. Don’t hang on to anger, jealousy, negative thoughts. Let it go!
I've accomplished a lot this year, but I've also stalled out many times. I get overwhelmed and still over-think things, and my accountability buddy said something I am taking to heart. She reminded me that I need to make myself a priority, and put my needs first. Not to be selfish or ignore the needs of others, but because if I want to build my business and take care of myself, I need to take care of those things before trying to play the many other roles in my life: tour guide to visitors, cook, housekeeper, etc. There is a balance, but without self-care being my main priority, I end up with very little left to give. Hence, the ongoing theme of "needing to get back to..." whatever. In 2020 I intend to bear down and be relentless in my pursuit of my priorities.
In the coming year I’d like to take more emotional risks in my personal and professional relationships with an eye to deepening my connections with the people I love and the quality of work I perform as a psychologist.
Health, wellness, and balance. This is an ongoing struggle and something that will never be perfect, I know. BUT, I am starting a new job about which I am so excited and there is an exercise facility IN THE BUILDING. I want to get exercise in every day I am there and make more vegetable-based eating choices.
Maybe I should be more open to advice because I can't think of any that I received. I should share my challenges more.
I have found myself more flexible in general since achieving this new position. I would like to continue to work on that. I've always had a let's get it done" attitude, but frequently fail to follow through. I hope to get better at that. Not this year, but a life maxim once given to me was "Won't get done by looking at it." I hope to embody that maxim more.
I'm a freshman at the University for the Very Old and I'm learning to deal. My personal motto: "If it's not cancer, it's not a problem."
Lynne told me “don’t pre-worry”. I would like to continue to relinquish control or the illusion of control over things that are actually unimportant so that I can be more lovingly present to myself and my family
Trust myself. Balance my inner knowing with letting hope, not fear, drive my choices. Perhaps I am uniquely positioned to be the mother my children need exactly because I wasn't mothered well as a child. I can't take it for granted but I can listen to and trust my own inner voice and let that guide my most important role as a mother to my beautiful children. I want to believe this.
I have no plans to improve myself in the coming year. After having gone through this last year's crucible, the idea of making an attempt to improve myself seems foolish and kind of arrogant. I plan to live each day as best that I can.
I would like to prioritize my mental health in order to be a happier person overall. I don't want to be afraid of putting myself out there, especially as I will be finishing college and entering the professional world.
I want to be more healthy. I weigh the most I ever have right now (114# and maybe even more!) and I feel like I can't fit into my clothes or feel good about my gut. Some of this involves picking healthier food and portion control (harder now with easy access and odd hours at the hospital), but it's largely exercise. I haven't been hiking as much and I am definitely not running! Though I'm climbing, I don't think this burns enough calories how I am doing it currently. Maybe some aerobic activity once a week? It's a good goal but we'll see. Mostly I just want to feel better about my physical appearance and I think that eating less and exercising more will help with that.
I would like to continue to work on self love. I have a long history of not doing that and changing that particular river is proving difficult. But that is part of the deepening my relationship with the divine. It gives me some perspective. Think of the beauty of nature. There are some singular leaves of beauty, but mostly it is a matter of changing my perspective to become fascinated with everything from the the root structure, to the lichen and moss, to the bark, to the canopy to the relationship between plants and then between plants, animals and fungi. That singular leaf is only a very small part of a majestic whole that is ever changing.
Myself physically lose 15 lbs, and tone up muscles coarse I am over 50 and declining fast. Learn to cook healthier plant based meals.
I would like to improve my social skills. I have been told repeatedly to stop pushing so much (more specifically, to stop pushing my interests onto others, but to stop pushing other things, too). For example, if someone says that they may or may not watch something I introduced to them, I should then leave it alone until and unless they come and ask me about it instead of constantly asking whether or not they've watched it yet.
Fully realize that working in an aligned way + radical simplicity + deep connection = financial abundance. SUCH a feeling of TRUST in the Universe. That she TRULY has my back. That we are co-creating together. That I am BLOWN AWAY by what is possible--beyond my wildest dreams. That I look back and understand why this period of stickiness needed to happen. That it will help me in how I guide others. With immense gratitude.
Allow myself to be “too much”. Too loud, too outrageous, Too courageous, too loving. Too sexy, too cute, too committed to equality for women.
"Give yourself the advice you'd give other people." Say no more. Be realistic about my energy, priorities. Pay much more attention to relationships, family, friendships.
I don't need so much stuff! I'm looking forward to simplifying.
One constant thread running through my 20's has been money and debt and I've worked most of my 20's paying off most of that debt. I think the biggest thing I can do to improve is to spend less money, take more gigs, pay off more debt and worry less overall. Very simple. A piece of advise that could guide me, momento mori, I actually have it tattooed on my right forearm on an hour glass. For those that don't know it's latin and basically translates to "remember you are going to die". It's not a morbid statement at it's core, but rather a reminder to enjoy life.
I'd like to spend the year reminding myself that people are usually doing the best they can, even if it doesn't look like it. And that even if they aren't, I will be a better, kinder person for believing that they are.
I'm going to follow the advice from the Before Breakfast podcast and try to find more time throughout my days to work on more "me" projects.
I would like to be more present, more grounded, more attentive. I would like to stay in the moment more and in the past less and be more appreciative. The sad reality is I know that for myself and others who struggle with depression that when you go into the pit all of this becomes enormously difficult to do. Keeping a gratitude journal this year was useful and I want to continue to do it. I also want to continue to either meditate or do certain things -- like stretching in the morning -- in a meditative, present-oriented way.
I'd like to leave my current city, Lisbon. Leave the life I'm not happy with, I don't have to stay here just because it happened to be like this. I believe the first step to improving myself is changing my surroundings and the place where I live.
I'd like to be as happy where I am, as I am now. Keep drawing a circle around myself and call it my saicret space. Keep saying no and guard my limits careful by thinking about what I truly care about and/or energizes me.
reel yourself in breath, drink water, sleep, EAT! write about it do not react in the moment do not let your emotions spill out of your mouth unrefined or unchecked take care of yourself first before you try to take care of others
Ryhdy pitämään itsestäsi parempaa huolta. Ala treenaamaan ja syömään paremmin, laita oma hyvinvointi töiden ja muun edelle ja älä laiminlyö itseäsi.
greet anger with slowness. greet fear with openness. breathe more and deeper and with greater intention.
The piece of advice that always comes back is, “To thine own self be true” Aims for the next 12 months, target weight, learn enough about Photography & Lightroom to be good at both. Wishes, learn how to sing, dance, speak Spanish or French and fall in love.
I want to be healthier by getting more exercise and eating less sugar. The advice I received that could best guide me is to eat mindfully.
I am hoping to change my relationship to electronics, and particularly to be less likely to default to "checking" electronics at quiet times when there isn't a specific task on my mind. Better to use those quiet times to engage with a piece of text or to call someone who could use a moment's encouragement.
I need to be kinder to myself. I am very hard on myself and that translates into my being hard on others, even when that is not my intent. I have become less patient with people and small actions can make me angry. This isn't me! I need to figure out what is going on and how to change these behaviors that I so dislike.
I am in therapy- halleluyah! It has been great and I want to keep going. I've made some positive changes in relationships and being forthright about my needs. I'd like to keep working on happy boundaries, limiting over-commitments, ensuring I have time to just be rather than do.
I would like to find a new career in which I express my talents more. One piece of advice I got was in hearing the story of a white tiger named Mohini that was gifted to President Eisenhower and put in the National Zoo. When the tiger was moved from a small cage to an open environment, she still stayed in her comfort zone and paced an area the size of her former cage. It made me consider if I'm afraid to try a new field because I'm so stuck with what I know. I want to be able to move beyond my professional comfort zone and develop the next phase in my career.
Be kinder to myself and focus more on gratitude. Treat myself like someone I love.
i have been thinking a lot about the concept of committing to oneself, the idea that when you don't do things you set out to do, you are breaking promises with yourself. along these lines, i've started working in a new planner this year to better commit to certain goals, including working out more and earning more money. those are the things i'd like to continue working on next year.
Some learnings or thoughts I'm letting seep into me: The devil tries to take your joy in serving god. (Jacques Phillipe) Find certainty even in doubt.
Practice gratitude every day. I've heard so many interviews on my podcasts with people who are successful, evolved, more joyful/content practice gratitude every day. Usually writing it down somewhere. I am capable of change. Again with the podcasts, but I've also been learning/noticing people that have dramatically changed their lives- whether it be sobriety, career paths, relationships. I am capable of change. I'm the only person that has the power to achieve the vision I have for myself. It's that damn simple.
I want to be the person who listens more, and speaks less. I want to be more generous, more patient, and more empathetic in the coming year. I want to be less reliant on others for my own self-esteem, less focused on what others might think and instead be more content with myself. I want to rely on others less and on myself and on G-d more.
Keep fit, stay balanced & improve positivity. Follow some buddhist advice around worrying less.
There are so many ways I'd like to improve myself. The one that feels most pressing right now is to be less competitive. I want to be able to find a healthy way to measure myself that doesn't require comparison with others, as well as a way to value myself that doesn't require me to be superior to others. My girlfriend said (in a slightly different context) that I could just try and be my best, and that that's okay and I don't have to make that a measure of my self-worth. I think I'm going to try to use that to manage my competitiveness.
I would like to incorporate meditation, writing and yoga in some way shape or form. I want to be more grounded and patient. I was told to be more confident. I am trying to hold on to this and to understand that I am enough.
Next year I would like to recapture some of my limited knowledge of German, and catch back up to where I was with Algebra. I would like to get back to my nascent blog and write more about what's going on in my mind. I've been listening to the nuggets provided by husband's "coach" and some of that advice is great. It's intuitive, but it helps to have someone remind me. Thoughts need to be followed by action, but useful thoughts are the place to start.
I very much would like to improve my diet and exercise routines. Both have held me back in my weight loss goals, mainly due to a lack of commitment to making changes. I need to begin making changes, or I will never see results.
I was give a lot of good advice about patience and speaking good about oneself during our couples therapy with Rabbi Menachem. I will do that more.
Personally, when in conversation i would likento try to talk about myself less. Maybe it is something everone experiences and i cant prevent feeling like I dominate conversations with people but I want to try and be the person asking more questions and finding more put about the person im talking to. Or maybe i have too much to say aha...
I’m sick of feeling so uneasy and unwell in my body. Never mind the extra pounds, I feel like I’m in such poor health even though I’m technically just a bit overweight and out of shape. I can change that. There must be a better way to be than this.
Be more patient. Be less reactive. Stay calmer for the sake of my husband and 2 sensitive boys. Go w the flow. I need to let go of rust I can’t control. And get rid of my CLUTTER!!!!
be patient be assertive be kind
I think as always--getting healthier, breaking away from my phone, being slower to be irked. I don't know how to achieve that last one but maybe bringing back some meditation....
I would love to regularly complete my daily yoga practice as this is really good for my mental health. I’d also like to improve my overall health through varying my fitness programme and eating healthily.
I'd like to stress less about choices I may encounter. Best advice I've seen is, "worrying is like praying for what you don't want."
This year, I did not focus on balance and I got knocked totally on my ass in February. I need to continue to work on being present at home for my family when they are here and making sure they are my priority when I am here.
I am working through the process for weight loss surgery, and fingers crossed that by this time next year it will have taken place! I am nervous and scared and so ready.
I’d like to start to declutter my life and simplify. Get rid of unwanted stuff. Today I brought a carload of old files to a shredding day at my town and it felt like unburdening myself. I liked that feeling. Looking back at last year’s answer, I’m happy to report that Eileen and I are in a much better place. She gave up alcohol a year ago, has gotten into great shape, and is much happier. Our summer was SO much better than the summer before!
Yes. As I grow older, I should strip things away to find my true self, thus peace.
slow down. be present. be honest with myself. accept things as they are. be more grateful and enjoy life more.
I would like to give myself more of a break! I don't have to make a bunch of money. I don't have to fix the world's problems. Advice for this next year is: trust your gut and give yourself a break. You know when you're pushing yourself too hard. The world will go on without you fixing everything.
I’m learning to advocate for myself, and to not just put my needs on the back burner. I have had significant health issues that I’ve not treated because I’ve been feeling defeated and helpless - but with the help of a few good doctors and nurses (when the pain became too great) I’ve realized I’ve accepted things I could have changed. So that is what I would like to improve - taking better care of myself and not being so defeated.
I'd like to have more gratitude. I don't have everything I want, but I sure do have a whole ton of good in my life.
I am currently doing no booze, healthier eating, and trying to work out again this month and hope to continue that in a general way moving forward.
"Fall in love with yourself at your deepest roots, water the trees that grow inside of you, do the things you set out to do." -- Hannah Weiss and Gabrielle Zwi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awgzPlpZZ-0
Start with 15 minutes. Write it down, put it in the calendar. I just want to stay fit and healthy and I'd like to cut back on bad habits. I want to have more success and projects that pay me for my time well. More music, finish some writing. That's enough.
I need to find a better balance, again. I need to do a bit of an inventory on the pieces I have in my pie chart - side A is a rough sketch of the % of time/energy I put into the main pieces of my life; side B would then be the % of time that I'd ideally like them to take, and then I need to actually work to make that happen. I love Lisa, and I love what she adds to my life. And also, I recognize that since she's become more of a priority of my life, I've lost a sense of some of the other priorities... and I don't want that. "Some days I am goddess. Some days I am wild child. And some days I am a fragile mess. Most days I am a bit of all three, but every day, I am here, trying." I want to feel like every day I'm here, trying. Not just "getting by," not just "going through the motions," but actively trying to become my best me.
“...relentless dedication to the work, the commitment to take charge of my own destiny, is what yoga calls tapas. Through regular practice [I] will gain inner stability, self awareness and an ability to see the unfiltered truth. That which scares me, I find cringeworthy about myself offers me the way to the integration of my being. To heal ourselves, our shadows need excavation. We must uncover the love we are, then give it away....” Seane Corn, Revolution of the Soul.
I'd love to improve on being more assertive, and less self-doubt. I need to learn that I came this far and I'm capable of doing many different difficult tasks. The past year I learned to be more gentle on myself and allow time to grow and learn. I think it is a great way to be a human.
life is constantly changing, one foot in front of the other, so you will never ever be stuck in an emotion. live in the present. it is important to love urself while you are trying to improve on urself. it takes a long long time to be a version of yourself that you are completely happy with. you are always growing and changing and improving. but you can't rely on anyone else to be kind to you, so love yourself! also, people are crazy. chiara is anxious, Alaina overthinks, everyone is crazy. but people who aren't crazy are boring. the key is to let them be crazy and not insert yourself in their craziness cause you will enjoy it a lot more. BIG TRUTH!
I think it's time to open our lives up to a new relationship.
I want to let go of some of my anger. While some of it is appropriate and even good fuel for fighting systemic injustices, I fear that it is fogging my judgment with those who are closest to me.
I would like to continue my work on being present in my life and learning resilience. My dad said "resilience is a muscle and it can be strengthened through practice."
I've been thinking a lot about being assertive and how to achieve that. By this time next year, I want to be able to tell people what I want without feeling ashamed for wanting it.
I would like to improve by doing what is called Poco A Poco. Doing the little things and being diligent in whatever I find myself doing. 'Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord' I would like to do this with the help of the Holy Spirit because I want this journey to be seamless. And he is a great teacher that can teach me all things.
Do hard things. Don’t be afraid of them. Jesus is helping me conquer my fears.
For work: "Keep your head down, work hard, and don't play politics." Whether I switch to a new job or not, I'd like to heed this advice professionally. In my relationship, focus on being more generous, less complainy about things I don't enjoy or don't think I'll enjoy. Do things without a need for recognition or credit. As a father, don't take the lazy route. The days are long but the years are short. Make sure the days count.
Mindfulness. I would like to continue the work I have begun on being more focused and present. To balance thought and emotion. To breathe and calm before action and behavior.
So much advice I can't remember it all! I have learned a lot about seeking and accepting help this year. Thank goodness for all my advisors.
I think this is another version of my answer to the day 6 question and in some ways mirrors my response from last year. I want to hold my work more lightly. The end goals are to enjoy my work and have the time and mental space to enjoy the rest of my life.
Isn't it stupid - here I am, five months pregnant with a healthy baby, and all I can think about is "getting my body back" next year? I know, it's vain and it's self-involved. But I really do hope that by this time next year, I am sitting in a very different body type than what I am working with right now. That said, I would also like to be a better businessperson next year - I've made great strides this year (keeping better records, enforcing policies), but there is still so much more I can do to both expand and strengthen my existing business with Peak Health. In terms of advice, I think the best thing I've heard all year is in regard to this pregnancy - that you have to GIVE UP control. Whether it's to hormones, nausea, a growing belly, a restless baby, or whatever else is waiting for me in months 6-10, releasing the (VERY false sense of) control and doing the best you can is the only way to make it through this process healthy and happy.
My life has always felt overwhelming in one way or another, and I am trying to work towards making it manageable, calm, and modestly comfortable. I realized in therapy that this was how my whole life has felt, and I don’t want to continue that any further.
I received a great piece of advice this year. It was that I am not responsible for the things that have happened to me, but I am responsible to heal from them. Hence the striving and praying to understand how to do this and then the blessing of a diagnosis. Another piece of advice I was given is that I don't need to feel guilty for past behaviors because I didn't know I had BPD and how it operates. I know now and so I am responsible from here on out with what I do with my new found knowledge. Improving myself and my life will include individual and group counselling. I plan to keep alert and do as much as I can reasonably do to get better so I can thrive - not just survive.
Would like to be more peaceful and calm and in better health. One quote that has stuck with me is "if you want peace, be peaceful." I think it's very wise. I feel like the advice I get from Mary and Marco is mostly bad. Well meant but not good advice for me. I need to stand up for myself more and take my own advice.
I would like to focus more on learning Spanish and being more open and honest.
I would like to be in a place where I can accept my past mistakes as a part of myself, something that makes me me, not something shameful I need to get rid of. I want to be more patient and understanding with others. I want to be happy with the choices I’ve made (hopefully moved to Israel). It’s okay not to be okay all the time.
I want to reframe my story to a more empowered one rather than a sad one. I want to be more open, honest and intimate with myself and others.
I want to reestablish my savings account. Getting laid off in 2018 was tough, but I had a financial safety net that saved me. I started working again about 3 months ago, and I haven't made the right moves to get back on track.
I’d like to really take good care of myself and my health. Sometimes that means ice cream for dinner but not all the time.
Burning Issues: Tobacco combustion reduction and combustion of excess adipose tissue.
I would like to take better care of myself next year- making my personal well being a priority. I need to make sure I am eating healthy, WORKING OUT, and sleeping enough. Most importantly, i need to make sure that I am taking enough time for myself. I’ve had a couple of people close to me suggest that I switch my career in order to prioritize myself. They say that this company does not value me enough for me to stay. Their idea is definitely something to consider.
I would like to be more gentle and loving with my family this year. The past year has been filled with my struggle with PPD and navigating the frustrations of solo parenting but I’m hoping that by this time next year we will all be more settled and gentle with each other.
Pick a place to live and get a ****ing job. "Repeat after me 5x: I am a person with feelings"/"You are the most conflict avoidant person I have ever met in my life".
I want to stop complaining about everyone else
I'd like to not be so competitive. Outwardly I'm not very, but in my head it's hard for me to be happy for others when I think they're moving faster than me or achieving more than me. And I know the right things to say, but I think it takes a toll on me. I'd also like to not have so much FOMO and be happy with just me. And not be so jealous. and breath more. I'd really like to take deep breaths and think before I talk. I'd like to believe in the magic of fate and circumstance and that everything will work out because I work hard.
I want to do things from love instead of obligation. I want to live without thinking “I have to”, “I must” and say “I love to”, “I would like to”. When I was in a lot of tension for my master degree and Fernando told me “you do not have to do any you do not want to do”, every goes easy and I could finish my research.
I would say that the thing that happened to me recently, but still 5779 was that I began to write again. I am able to concentrate and blow off everything as long as I have an essay or a poem going. But what I had totally forgotten is that writing is another avenue to the Body Electric.
Lose weight! I have done a pretty good job of that already, but I'm not done. At least another 15 pounds, which will be much harder than the first 15. but I'm going for it.
Cultivate creativity, but also just chill. What is meant to happen will happen. Lean in and embrace the reality. And if that is grating then it is a sign you have to work to change this reality. I want to finish writing the play by this time next year.
Walk more, eat less! And keep stretching.
I would like to continue my 12-step work, to continue to pay attention to my errors in judgment (continue to take personal inventory) and to improve my conscious contact with G-d. I see this as absolutely related to the process described in This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared, BTW. They are absolutely saying the same thing. I must continue to look at where I am trying to control my life, and instead take the opportunity to surrender to G-d's guidance and compassion.
I want to become more proactive about physical activity. My health is not terrible, but I'm fat. I don't wanna be anymore. I'm hoping this will also improve chronic pain and balance issues.
I'd like to give up on being right with my mother. Maintaining her self-esteem makes her insist that her false memories, or the stuff she makes up to avoid acknowledging the gaps in her memory, is the truth. I need to learn to not prove to her I'm right. This has nothing to do with her opinion of me or my intelligence or competence. I need to give it up.
I want to be more mindful and intentional in my actions.
I don't need to make fun things hard. Let them be fun.
This: God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me. (The ACA serenity prayer.) Also diet and exercise and lose at least 15 pounds!
I want to start running in earnest. It really helps my mental health, and I know that exercise is really important. I feel so unmotivated much of the time, but I'd really like to focus on getting better at it.
Breathe. The usual. Exercise more. Take better care of myself. Actually pleased with my blood pressure and cholesterol, and I think the progress my psoriasis has made is pretty great. So 20 lbs?
Living in the moment. That's what I want. I want to stop worrying about the infinite, outside of my control, future because, well, it's outside of my fucking control! Why would I concern myself with that??? Just dumb!! And hey, maybe a boyfriend?
I've been working on an attitude of Yes, Acceptance, Open to Change for the past 6 months or so. I'd like that to continue. I'd like to trust myself to move through big emotions and find more Patience - with my kid, myself, my relationships.
There is no counsel or advice that I've received this year that I feel could guide me. I am concerned about what the coming year will bring, with the impeachment inquiry, Presidential campaign and all. I'm afraid it's all going to get very ugly. I hope this time next year will be a lot better than I fear, but I don't realistically think it will be. So, I'm not looking to improve myself. I'm just looking to survive it all.
I'd like to be more balanced - I still want to have some edge and impatience and a strong desire to push things and be better, but tempered with slowing down and enjoying things more. I'd also like to be in better physical shape than I am right now.
I would like to keep rebuilding my self esteem, and to feel like I am a worthwhile human being. I want to let go of all of the negative self image that comes from repeating things my family has said to me in the past. I want to move forward with positivity. I also want to be healthier - lose weight, do more exercise/physical therapy/etc.
When I get hurt tell the person who hurt me/ show my hurt and pain and sadness rather than lashing out with anger or meanness.
Live every moment to the fullest
Hopefully next year, if I'm not studying yet, I've at least found a job that agrees with me almost completely. I know it's not likely to get the perfect job for you, but hoping is free lol. As for advice... Take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally. The same advice as last year also stands: "Take everything as a learning experience. Don't judge others. There's no such thing as regrets. Just keep doing your best every step of the way. Try to be vulnerable with the people you truly trust." Especially that last one lol. Above all, whatever you're going through, remember that you can lead on God any time.
Since January I have been lifting weights with some consistency, and have really enjoyed the physical changes this has brung. I would like to continue to pursue this form of athletics and continue to strengthen my body.
I want to maintain my secret friendship without getting caught. It means so much to me, gives me joy. Of course, anyone would advise me to stop it, but I don't plan to. Life is short.
I want to leave this year's anger and resentment behind me, and focus on the good and beautiful things in life. Life's too short to spend on computer games, so no more! My evenings I'll dedicate to reading, writing and drawing, and I'll keep writing those morning pages. So if this is going to be the next round, let it be one of creativity and inspiration.
כן אני רוצה להצליח בלימודים ומשפט של מייקל גורדן "החטאתי מעל 9000 זריקות בקריירה שלי.הפסדתי כמעט 300 משחקים. ב-26 הזדמנויות סמכו עלי לקחת את הזריקה המכרעת במשחק...ופספסתי. נכשלתי שוב ושוב ושוב בחיי, וזו בדיוק הסיבה להצלחתי."
I would like to be and feel fitter. Lose weight - around my belly and buttocks which are getting increasingly round. (Starts feeling like a barrel!). I also think sleeping more (or going to bed earlier) would help me feeling better in my body. My aims this year: 1) go back swimming regularly 2) do squash and/or tennis with John, or other sports partner(s) 3) go to bed earlier One day at a time....
I would like to improve myself and my life over the next year by slowing down and making my health and nutrition more of a priority. Two pieces of advice/counsel come to mind: 1) trust the process; and 2) you need to put on your own oxygen mask first in order to be able to help others.
Take life as it comes, don't worry too much about the future. Worry only about what you can change personally.
I need to work on a better relationship with my husband. By the end of the day, after work, after daughter, after stress, there really isn't anything time for him. It has started to affect our relationship and I don't want it to. I need to take a more pro-active stance on this. And while he does things that drive me crazy, I have to remember that I probably do the same to him.
actually get in the habit of taking care of myself and setting boundaries learn to say no to things and people, seek out the joy
I think there's the surface stuff about eating healthier/maintaining a consistent exercise schedule and losing a little weight. I think also I want to work on creating good habits in general -- I need to be better about not driving with my phone in my hand, and getting my shit together and getting to work on time and not sitting around until the last second. I also feel like I should work on my mental state and not being negative all the time. I'm letting it consume me in a way that isn't healthy. Going to my new therapist has helped; the piece of advice/counsel she gave me that I feel like has helped (though I'm still working on it) was "you don't have to live there right now." That was in regard to thinking the worst is going to happen all the time. I need to keep repeating that to myself.
I think my priority this year needs to be stability and self-care. Boundary-setting will, no doubt, be an important part of the equation. Historically, my life has been chaotic and it's time that I take the bull by the horns and establish (and protect) some peace for myself and my children.
Debo centrarme más en mi familia y debo encontrar espacios para avanzar profesionalmente fuera del trabajo. Avanzar también en gestionar mis conflictos internos, conocerme mejor, y gestionar mejor mi relación con las personas autoritarias.
I want to make more videos and use my time wisely.
I need to focus more on not caring what people think about me. I get in my own head about everything, and I overthink every situation to a fault. I have been better about putting myself first, but I need to be better about being confident in my decisions without freaking out I am upsetting someone. Not everyone is going to like me, and I need to really come to terms with that.
I would like to be better about routines. Being present at work, meal prepping, working out, etc. I want to be better at using those as opportunities for saving money and achieving goals.
Everything is a clue. Every person is a teacher. Approach it all with an open heart, and you'll find what you're looking for. Locations are locations: stay in the light, with your love.
I think continuing on the inner work journey I'm already on to be a better person. Be more present. Be more patient. Just "Be" more often.
Suffering = Pain x Resistance. Resist less. Be scared less. Take more risks. Do hard things. Don't put off the things that would make life better in the future because they might be hard now. And lose the fricking weight.
I need to accept the fact that my life is going to change. I've decided when I'm going to retire, and the way time flies, I need to spend some time each week getting my house in order (figuratively, at work--literally, at home).
I'd like to find a way to maintain the rigorous discipline and focus on self I had when I was single without doing so at the expense of the selfless focus I've had on my partner since I've been in a relationship. I've heard people talk about (and I myself have experienced) how a relationship changes your outlook on the life for the better in that you have someone to care for and prioritize over what otherwise have largely been more selfish pursuits. I've heard some of those same people say that once in a relationship, though, it's important to remember that part of what you bring that makes the relationship flourish is your sense of self, your drive, those things that at one time were (and may be still) selfish in some ways and now are (at least in some ways) part of what the complexion that attracts the other person to you. There's no exact science to this; rather, it's a series of experiments aimed at this balancing act. I hope I can successfully experiment and ultimately expand the bounds of our relationship.
Stay off Facebook on my phone - less scrolling, more exploring.
Physical fitness and house clutter continue to be top concerns. For physical fitness: Exercise classes are a more reliable way to achieve regular activity and regular activity is essential for physical fitness. So, classes it must be and Camelia has been a great blessing as a guide to classes and as an exercise buddy. For the clutter I plan to attack it in steps; a little each home day and I will expect to see progress.
One way I would like to improve myself and my life next year, is to be more thankful for the people and things in my life. Specifically in my immediate family I feel as though I may have underestimated the impact that my parents have had on my life in terms of supplying an education amongst many other small things. Obviously attending a school like BC High where the tuition price tag is over ninety thousand dollars, it would be financially easier for my parents to have sent me to a public school, but they chose not to. I am trying to make their investment worth it by trying very hard in school to get decent grades, but I sometimes think this may not be enough. I wish that there was a way for me to repay them so to speak for this massive undertaking but I think this opportunity will come when I am older. Specifically in terms of the little things my parents did for me such as waking me up every morning, making my three meals, and even cleaning up for me are more easier to be repaid. I often try to help out specifically by taking care of my cousin after school until five so that my mom can have a break and be able to prepare dinner and take my sisters to practices. My cousin has special needs and is unable to walk or talk “normally” so when I try to take this job off my moms plate, I am constantly forced to keep an eye on him because he does not have full control over the specific actions he does. Another way I try to help out is by cleaning around the house to make my dad happy when he gets home from work everyday and knowing that he does not have to worry about yard work or the basic upkeep of the interior. One piece of advice that I recieved that helped me mature in terms of being more thankful was actually a story from my grandfather whose father was in the hospital for many years until he passed away and his mother who was very sick, so him and his brothers were forced to get jobs and work to support them. I am thankful that his is not the case for me now, but also for the fact that I am able to have such a wonderful life, and want to show my appreciation.
I need to to eat better, get more sleep and exercise more often. Best piece of counsel: The size of your thighs is immaterial.
I would like to have my savings built up to have at least 3-4 months of income saved by this time next year. I find being prepared important and I don't want to put this off any longer. I would also like to learn about investing and how to make the best returns on my money. This would be for retirement or an emergency or just to have the funds available if I need them to give me more freedom and security. I need to listen to myself on this one, I always asks, but how much do you need? I need to ask myself that more often. And finally, my ongoing quest to not hold back, we only have one life. I am not going to hold back love and feeling and life, I am going to live and feel and give.
I'd like to do a better job delegating at work - which means investing more time in the staff that I could delegate tasks to so that they know what they are doing and can take on more. Allan's comment that if he's doing anything at work, something is wrong is what I keep thinking about. I don't think that I will ever get to a place of not having to do anything, but I would like to get to a place where I can be more focused on the big picture.
I think I'd love to continue being honest with myself and others about my relationships. I think it's important to not waste time on relationships that don't serve me. I also want to continue being a supportive and loving partner and figure out ways that I can grow and improve as a person as we make bigger life decisions together.
If You Don’t Like Where You Are, Move! You Are Not A Tree!
I would like to work more on my physical health. Even though I walk my dog every day sometimes twice a day I have not been actually working out. So to get at least 3 days a week of a formal workout. continuing on my food maintenance and meditation practice. Today I want to F L Y. First Love Yourself . So this year i am going to work on me and the way I treat me and care about myself.
Stop being afraid. You don't need to constantly fear how other people are thinking of you, whether they think you're weird or awkward or too loud or too much. You are what you need to be for yourself. On the podcast I listen to, "Reply All," someone said "assume everyone loves you, because at some point they might." And I kind of love that and want to embody it.
I've started the self-improvement process by seeking out therapy with someone who has experience with using attachment theory and body-based healing techniques. Her coaching is helping me to appreciate all the intricate parts of my personality that have gotten me to this point. As much as I feel like I've been stuck in similar patterns of decision-making and it's easy to get down on myself or criticize myself harshly for winding up in similar situations as years previous, I realize that I have been moving forward; I have made progress in recognizing red flags and behaviours from others that don't align with their words, but I've been slower to respond on the boundary-setting front and this is where I hope to make the most improvement over the course of this coming year. Getting coached by a therapist who can help me see, appreciate and integrate the various parts of my personality to my authentic core will help me develop and solidify boundaries that keep me safe and prioritize the things I value in myself and others. I'm excited about this.
I will prioritize my health by swapping punishing work-outs for regular intervals of activity. I will reach out to visit with my facebook connections and try to be a better friend.
Well as usual, I'd love to lose weight. I didn't really make progress this year, although I haven't gained any weight. That tells me my exercise is good but I really need to be disciplined with my eating. I've been doing good at getting off campus, and spending time with people I enjoy (and not feeling obliged to spend time with people who I do not enjoy), but in the coming year I'd like to really work on losing weight... again.
I would like to be a better, more patient, wife and mom. I feel like I have tried everything, including medication, and still am not where I'd like to be.
My friend Margo's fascination with the TV show "hoarders," and the inevitable need to pare down, has me thinking on two tracks: paring down, while simultaneously trying to imagine what I DO want to have as part of my life in my later years. Accelerates the process of redesigning systems, opening boxes of stored stuff and deciding whether or not it really plays a part in future life. Kinda like opening birthday gifts, but with the added "burden" of attributing a context and commitment to either use or say "buh-bye!" Advice (or Motivator): a combination of Marie Kondo, a fear of being a hoarder, and deciding to actually enjoy what is here, instead of saving it for a future (yet imagined) life.
Figure out what's really making me stop and start and mess myself up repeatedly over changing what I do health-wise and movement-wise. I know from past experience that if I really want it, I do it, and I don't claim a lack of time or resources, I just make it happen. Maybe I don't really want it? But I do want it, despite feeling conflicted about it politically. I'd like to stop feeling so ambivalent, and be able to be committed to making things better for my body without sabotaging myself.
Live the life you want to live. Who cares about what so and so says and thinks. Don't let other people's opinions and shittiness get in the way of your happiness bc its not worth it.
Keep the things that spark joy. Spread the love. A focus on the things that bring us happiness has improved my life. It's definitely a new initiative and one that can use more time. I look forward to what is ahead.
I want to focus more on what I have rather than when I don’t have. When I look back over my answers, I hope to improve myself in much of the same ways every year – better weight, better health, Better finances. But that continues to be a struggle. I can’t quite find the root cause of all of that concern or then I need to eliminate a lot of stress.
This past year I've given myself permission to enjoy life more and make an effort to do it. That's been terribly freeing and has made me so happy. Keep it up, girl! Take some chances, smile more, open up to people and let them know they matter (stop feeling like you don't matter to them).
I'd like to save money. I need to stop spending it, and start saving. In addition to this I need to downsize a lot of my belongings - selling them will help my savings and free up space. Two birds with one stone. This time next year I would like to have successfully downsized and have some savings to hand.
I want to create some structure in my life so I don't succumb to the lure of just sitting around doing nothing. I want to add more physical activity to my life, organize my house, cook more and get my kids to eat better, but also find some time to relax when I can. One piece of advice that I go recently is to think of the night as the beginning of your day, not the end. I'm hoping this shift will help me get more sleep and set myself up better when I have time rather than in the stress and chaos of the morning.
I would like to lose the weight I have gained since my thyroid was taken out and I would like to get some of my enthusiasm for something back. I feel like I have done all the important stuff in my life and have no energy for anything else. I guess one piece of advice I was given was not to give advice and I am trying to do that.
I think Erin's quote that she sent me right after my 10 mile race sums up what I'm needing to remember this year: "She believed she could, so she did." And the other one I'm trying to hold onto is: "Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me." This whole experience has been so difficult - full of so much self doubt and pain and grief. I hope this year I walk away having "done it" and having "caught myself" -- that I will be in a healthy, happy place as a person. I hope that my belief in myself is stronger than ever and I hope I will be in a safer, more stable, more grounded place than ever before.
I would like to be more content during this new year. I don't want to settle or "give up", but I do want to be happier with what I have and not always worry about what I don't. I know that there will be struggles and there will be times where it is impossible to be content, but I think that I need to do a better job. I think a lot of things in my life would go smoother if I'm able to do this. At the same time though, I would like to put myself out there and try something new. I'm not sure yet what that would be, but I feel like I have been stuck in a rut these past few years and I need to force myself to do something about it. I don't have a concrete idea, but there are a few things that I'm thinking about. Hopefully one of those will be accomplished this year.
I would love to eat better and weigh less. What advice have I received that would help me with that? Fear of diabetes. Fear of heart disease. Actually READING the books I've bought about Whole-Food Plant-Based eating and Intermittent Fasting.
I receive this advice regularly from my mom, and I'm a work in progress, but I want to keep trying to remember that I am only responsible for my own actions, reactions, feelings, etc. I want to stop worrying (or worry less) about what other people think of me. I also want to be better at genuinely celebrating the accomplishments of others.
My progress as a cook still gives me great satisfaction, and meal prep is becoming more efficient, too, so as to leave more time. No new advice stands out, but focusing on my "mantra," Love & Gratitude, is always a very grounding basis to approach life.
I need to be less angry. Which probably means I need to be less engaged with social media.
I want to keep building intentionality in everything I do... In work, I want to hone my sense of direction and build a strong routine of getting things done. In personal life, I want to practice having hard conversations in a respectful and productive way, and I want to listen to and manage my feelings well.
Purge, declutter, get rid of stuff! We got rid of a lot before we moved to Colorado, but we're finding ourselves surrounded by clutter yet again. I want to make a concerted effort to deal with the mountains of stuff we still have, and to get rid of *everything* we don't need. It's just dragging us down. I also want to improve our organization around the house so our home is more comfortable and pleasant.
I would like to consume less in general-- spend less money, eat and drink less, spend less time on social media (or other wasteful pursuits). I think all these things feed on each other in various ways, and it'll be best to tackle them all at once. The best piece of counsel for this is the general "consume less by teaching yourself to want less."
don't waste time! That would improve me & my life! Just start, is as good advice as there is. And when I do start, I feel great! And keep going! & get stuff done!
There are a number of things I'm trying to do. One thing is to manage up effectively at work so there are "no surprises." It's a good phrase in life, too. You don't want to surprise people. You want to be relied on. The other is to really listen more. To ask questions. To show care.
I would not let myself see roadblocks as obstacles. Rather see them as things to work with a get around to achieve my goals and aspirations. I think I have let things outside of my control stop me in my tracks and not let me achieve what I intended. This next year I do not want those things to stop me.
I would like to officially loose weight - go below 119 pounds. I have been working on it all year and I have lost some weight and feel a lot better than I have - but I would like to stick to that trajectory - even get more serious about it if that is what it takes. Even though loosing weight I would look so much better, it's really for my mental health. I remember from the last time I lost a signifiant amount of weight, how happy I was. I want to get there again. I felt alive, fresh, young. This is probably my last chance (before kids and real stresses) to successfully loose weight and feel youthful again.
Many ways. Right now I'd like to devote some time in the coming year to improving my speech - content and structure and delivery. I'd like to get a coach if I can afford it to help with figuring out the next level to work on for (1) sermons; (2) mussar "dharma" talks, spiritual lectures of sorts; and (3) teaching lectures. The advice I read or heard somewhere is to focus on the craft itself, rather than the community it is intended for, and in honoring the process of crafting and striving always for better, the community will also be served.
No improvements sought for the coming year.
Whenever I heard "you can't do everything" it struck me. I've always pushed and gone against "you can't do that" my whole life. What rang true is that I can't pursue every single thing that interests me. This was both heartbreaking and freeing.
Enjoy life. Seize the day. Slow down. Smell the roses. Scatter kindness. Be grateful for life.
I'd like to embrace my own power. I've worked hard at accepting myself and taking away the power of the negative and turning things into the positives. Lizzo has a great mantra and I'm going to keep using that every day.
Talking out issues with friends has been good. So more of that. More patience with myself. Be kinder to myself. Take care of yourself before you take care of others.
Be more outgoing and participate in more community activities. Michele Obama's "Becoming" Memoir is very inspirational on imaging one's role in community.
I would like to develop more discipline in a few areas. I need to become more focused in using my time for work, and not getting distracted. I need to be prepared and ready to listen.
One of the biggest changes I want to make is to apply the advice of a good friend to organize and engage in activism out of desire more than out of obligation. So I need to be more careful about wearing myself out and not put myself in positions where I'm organizing with people that drain life from me just because I feel obligated to help or do something. I definitely use opportunities to "do something" to soothe my own worry and anxiety about the future and about the present political conditions, so it's not like this feeling of obligation is healthy. In fact, I'm worried and questioning whether I might have an obligation based form of OCD. So I need to talk to a doctor about that, but I also need to be careful in how I work with others and make sure it's healthy for me.
There are a few ways I'd like to improve myself. First, I want to find it within myself to eat healthier, exercise and get down to a healthy weight. Second, I want to improve some of my photography technical skills-lighting in particular. Third, I would REALLY like to put my anxiety about working freelance aside and get out of my own way. No amount of advice will help me with this-I have to feel it for myself.
1. I am 4 years post-cancer and had a superficial basal cell carcinoma removed in August. If I see a suspicious spot I WILL NOT WAIT! 2. I am going back to school. Currently in the middle of 2 classes (!) and facing a programming class in January. One class at a time WILL get me to my goal.
Improving = Finishing. It always does, no matter what. Really good at starting less so at finishing and I need to be better.
I want to have really excellent follow-through and be truly happy in my soul like have situations and relationship(s) that really feel right. Some advice from the Don't Keep Your Day Job podcast is to just do it messy so you can start the process. You don't have to wait till it's perfect. Also, a quote I heard that's been really beautiful to me is, "You didn't come into this world, you come out of it like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here." (quote from Alan Watts)
Stop procrastinating. Like now. Get your finances in order. Get back into school so you can earn a decent wage. It's only 2 years. Slow down on the drinking. If you think for even just a moment that you should not have that last drink, don't. Get some water instead. Remember to breathe in blue, exhale red. Love yourself first and the love of someone else will find you.
Would like to not take the strangeness at work so seriously. The management makes decisions and they aren’t my responsibility. Need to let it go and try not to care so much about the overall success or failure when I have no control over it.
Get better at cleaning as I go. I always say this but then I don't do it. I need to continue doing habit trackers because those really worked.
J’aimerais trouver some peace of mind. Être bien dans ma peau bien dans ma tête. Continuer le yin. Être plus calme, plus maîtresse de mes émotions. Peut être me poser moins de questions et être un peu plus en paix avec moi même, plus sure de mes choix. Moins remettre en cause. Savoir me satisfaire de ce que j’ai. Comment on fait pour ça ? Est ce qu’il faut voir un psy ? Est ce qu’il faut construire une famille pour recadrer ses priorités? Je ne sais pas.
I would like to be less afraid of speaking my mind, have a healthy relationship with food, and not be so pessimistic about life. The best advice I received this year is to love. Love yourself because if you don't, no one will. Love the people who are around you because you never know when they won't be there. Love where you are because it's where you're meant to be.
Don't sweat the small stuff !!
I need to start getting out of credit card debt. I just don't have any breathing room monetarily month to month. It's not realistic to think I can get totally out from under it in 1 year, but I need to make some serious inroads. I have already prioritized which cards to pay off given their interest rates which is the best advice I've received. My raise coming in January should help, and I plan to use the vast majority of my tax refunds to pay off credit card debt.
I want to be more kind. I think I've lost sight a bit as I've become more confident, and also become a bit more selfish. Even when I'm busy, I can be thinking of others and being compassionate.
I want to feel free to be myself. I want to experience freedom from the lie that "I am too much." I want to finally feel immune from criticism, for negative words to run off my shoulders like droplets of water, falling splat on the ground. I'd like to live wholeheartedly, without my legs in two worlds.
I would like to work on figuring out the big stuff and not sweating the small stuff. And not worrying about the things that I don't need to worry about, so I can take everything in stride.
I'm always planning for the future. I started to imagine a baby in my life as soon as I got married, and I forgot to enjoy the newlywed life. The same is happening with my three month old son: I'm already imagining a second child. I want to learn to appreciate what I have. It's so close to perfect already - why do I always want more?
The advice that Andre De Shields gave in his Tony Awards speech resonated so deeply with me: Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming. Slowly is the fastest way to get where you want to be. The top of every mountain is the bottom of the next. If you find yourself at the bottom of a mountain, KEEP CLIMBING. I feel very deeply that I need to keep these ideas close and alive in my mind in order to get myself through this hard moment and on into what is going to be the next good part of my life. I want to be patient and go through the slowness of it so that it can be really good. I want to have the people around me whose eyes light up, who will light my eyes up, who I can do good for and who can do good for me. I want to KEEP CLIMBING and achieving, taking risks, being scared and doing it anyway, and get to higher places. I know I can. I don't want to be paralyzed by fear anymore, and I don't want to let indecision become my dictator. I want to put these things to use and make something of my time this year. I want to feel that I haven't wasted time.
I would like to slow way down and be more selective in the projects I say yes to. I heard in a sermon (Liza's) that God is waiting for me in the stillness and silence in between things.
"ask for what you need" is what my therapist said, and it turned out to be a thing during couples therapy too. so: continuing to work on asking for what i need. when i reflect on where things are breaking down between me & my husband, or at work sometimes too, it's because i don't want to do something or i want to do something or i want someone else to do or not do something but i'm not being explicit in that. so step one is knowing what i want: mindfulness! also just practice with listening when those things come up instead of pushing them away/ trying to not want inconvenient things. step two is believing it's ok to ask. step three, which requires step two be at least somewhat accomplished, is to ask in a way that can be heard. then, whether it is heard is out of my control, but i have at least done what i can. so the belief that it's a reasonable ask helps me to ask in a way that doesn't make my self-image depend on how the ask is answered.
I'd like to be more cognizant of the fact that God will love me through anything. I want to be more positive in everything and more aware of how blessed I already am.
This past year I've been challenged to take responsibility for my own experience. Lately I've witnessed within myself an almost saintly capacity for transcendence through debilitating emotion. It reminds me of when I was a teenager and I learned that allowing pain to course through me, rather than resisting or reacting to it, could result in near-ecstatic states. The depth of feeling would alchemically transform me and I began to understand words like "grace", "sacrifice", "Christ-like". I'm continuing to learn this, while also attempting to stay out of martyrdom by practicing boundaries. This is the task that I foresee myself continuing next year: not taking on that which isn't mine; honoring my Self enough to assert my limits; filling my life with the experiences that I want; not expecting or allowing anyone else to be responsible for the fullness or emptiness of my days. Last night in the shower I realized that I am afraid of being selfish. In the past I was made to feel shame for selfishness, and my subconscious is programmed to believe that if I am selfish I will not be loved. Now I overcompensate and overextend myself. My attentiveness is a compulsion, as if the acts of care will oblige the recipient to venerate and cherish me. And then when my extreme selflessness goes unacknowledged, or when I do not receive in return the tenderness and attention I so desperately crave, I feel neglected, violated, mortally wounded. I would like to start by being generous with myself. I would like to pay less attention to the needs of the person from whom I wish to receive affection, and spend less time waiting for that person to attend to mine. All of applies primarily to my romantic partnership; I am far too terrified and mistrusting to allow others to get close enough to disappoint me in this way. However, I would like this to change: I would like to welcome a wider array of social relationships into my life. I would like to invest in new friendships, build community - a web of allies to enhance and enrich me, to exchange dreams and ideas with, extend love and support to. I would like to fill up the space of my life with my own whims and fancy, and then welcome affection and attention (both given and received) from a place of fullness. If I can gradually establish new patterns to achieve this, I will suffer far less.
My own advice to myself: Plant the most important seeds and give them space to grow while tending to them gently each day. What are the most important seeds, and how do I tend to them? -Self-expression. “Create without destination.” Just keep designing, keep hosting, keep coaching, keep facilitating, keep writing, keep supporting the people you believe in (Matt, Erin, Jenny), take the solo performance playwriting class, find your little dream house and design it in your image. Keep expressing yourself, go at it daily and don’t constrict it with unnecessary pressures stemming from ego and anxiety. Keep expressing yourself, trust the process, give it time, let it flow. -Love. “Love Without Expectation.” This has to do with commitment. Commit to the people I care about the most - romantic partner (is it Ido? Hold it lightly, and care for him as if it is!), my parents, my siblings, my best friends, my closest colleagues. Give them all the love and support I can muster, from my heart, without needing things returned. Just love because I feel love, not because I need/want something in return. I believe my life will be filled with an abundance of love no matter what, and I have so much love to give, so just give it freely from the deepest parts of my heart and let that be enough. Two more pieces of advice: 1. “Listen for the whisper.” Don’t shine a flashlight everywhere looking for answers, listen for the whisper inside. Attune to my own intuition, and trust my inner compass. 2. My meta tag line, just to keep it all very simple: “Be grateful, give what you can, and enjoy the ride!”
I would like to be more physically fit and in less pain. I’ve been told by my yoga instructor that practicing yoga will help, so I’m taking her at her word.
Make meditation a daily practice for grounding, calming, easing anxiety, enabling self awareness, practicing non-reactivity, building my own capacity. Focus on enjoying the moment, minimize the time spent ruminating, speculating, or planning.
Life is not a zero some game. Embrace the spectrum. Sometimes you make mistakes and they are not an end but a beginning. Sometimes plans change but maybe things are still good.
I would like to improve myself by losing 20 - 25 pounds. I would like to improve my knowledge of gardening, animal husbandry and running a small business. Advice? I listen to podcasts, research online. I have not asked advice from people in person yet. My fitness, I know what I need to do and eat. I just need to stay devoted to it. Overall, I know I need to set goals and then make real plans to reach them.
I'd like to spend a little more time and energy helping people in my life and community who are dealing with harder circumstances than me. This is everything from neighbors, to friends, to colleagues, to anyone else whose path I may cross any given week. Some ways this could manifest are volunteering in my church's breakfast kitchen every month or two, bringing a meal to friends who recently welcomed a new baby, or just generally working to be aware of how others' needs may be greater than mine in certain areas and the small-but-high-impact things I could do to make their lives a little easier and days a little brighter.
I would like to be more at peace with who I am and where I am in life. Be more in the moment. Eat with aforethought. Taste each bite. Enjoy the wind in my hair. Not get so angry at bad drivers. Not get so angry--period.
I'd like to be better at pacing myself - which includes setting more reasonable goals for myself, not overpacking or overpromising my time, and allowing appropriate time for rest. I've never been a master of this, but now that we have the kiddo and I'm attempting to work, it is more important than ever - I feel it is the only way to ensure that I do justice to all of the parts of me.
I would like a change in my current career path. I feel really stagnate in my current role, and am hoping for success and opportunity in a new endeavor.
Personally, I think I’ve gotten so burnt in relationships recently that I’ve started to try to make myself smaller and less demanding to accommodate men. It’s been an unconscious process. I’m only starting to notice as I compulsively apologize to my boyfriend for having needs or not being totally self-sufficient. He keeps pointing out the ridiculous habit. Fear of abandonment and loss has reinforced the behavior. Somehow I have convinced myself I don’t deserve special (or even standard) consideration from others. The problem with this strategy is that we can only pretend for so long. I love and appreciate my self-sufficiency and competency. But I need love and affection and help. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I don’t feel as though I can ask for what I need. This year, I am working on apologizing less. My one piece of advice would be: “Don’t settle”. Logically I believe I deserve thought and consideration, but asking for it in practice has proven to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. I feel as though I’m imposing exposure therapy on myself. This year, I am going to demand what I deserve because I’m worth it.
One thing I very much need to focus on in the upcoming year is making and setting aside time for myself. I need to prioritize alone and relaxation time the same way I would a dinner date with a friend.
I still am working on getting into a better workout habit. Making the routine my habit. It's hard - I go in spurts - but I'm improving and getting better at it with longer spurts ... just not being harsh on myself about it when I don't do as well as I feel I should is key. It will become a habit eventually.
I want to improve on doing things by myself and for myself. My motto lately has been "be scared and do it anyway". I am trying to remind myself that it is okay to be scared, but if it is something that i want to do or can ultimately be rewarding, then it is worth it to step outside my comfort zone. Often this has taken form in doing things by myself or not with friends which is scary at first but often fun and a way to make new friends.
I would like to write more and share it more. I want to write my book. I think this will improve myself because I can stop living in wonder about what could be and instead live in the reality of what is and open myself up to new possibilities. I've been thinking about achieving the same thing for too long. It's time to get it done.
I would like to learn how to be a caregiver to my mother without burning myself out. One friend said the oft heard advice, "Put your own oxygen mask on first. You can help others if you are all washed up." It is easier said than done.
To improve my life, I would like to take real time to read, write, and breathe. Every year, I say I want to do these things, but it never happens. I really do think that mastering my leisure hours will make me a happier, healthier, and overall better human!
I would like to work on writing and more creative projects. I don't find that my job/ adulthood presents as many opportunities to be creative and I do think creativity is one of my unique gifts. This isn't advice that has been given to me per se, but it is true - we all have the same amount of time, it's up to us how we spend it.
Just do it. Be a runner. That's the best advice I've can consider as I look toward the next year. I need to lose weight and I love running, that should be easy to make work, right? I just need to do it. No more excuses for snoozing my alarm at 0500. I want to have my tennis serve up to 75% (first and second averaged) and be in a league again.
Be better at saving. Quit smoking. Be kind to myself.
I would like to be more curious about the world. I think I used to be more interested in things, but I seem to have lost that. I don't have any hobbies and can't even remember what I used to like doing. I don't really have time for much anymore, but I still wonder. Also, I don't know why I'm not interested in traveling anymore. I used to love it, now I think I'm afraid of it. Perhaps that's something for me to explore.
I would like to continue at the gym and become physically stronger by next year at this time.
I am making home improvements right now but would like to get back on track with saving... I also need to take care of myself physically and emotionally. I am currently in transition and want to continue to be OK with that.
I would like to find interesting books and read more for pleasure. I also want to make an effort to connect more with family and friends both near and far. I don't want to take people for granted...life is fragile.
I am really owning the guidance from my Spiritual and Business Mentor that I should live with my Health, Ease, and Joy as my measuring stick. (Although, as I type this, I may be getting a sinus infection after nursing a cough for 2 weeks, on the eve of leading 3 Yom Kippur experiences. So maybe I need some more rest?) I am resting more, prioritizing my comfort and my daughter's comfort more. Prioritizing ease. And even health, despite today's situation. The result is that I have been happier, clearer, more confident and more successful in my work, parenting and day-to-day life. I am really proud of having made this shift and am grateful to have supports in my life who help me stay on track with this kind of self-care. I want to say to the universe, Yes please! More of this. Thanks!
Improvement through DOing less and BEing more. Remembering the inherent worth of self care, exercise, walks on the beach, and just doing legos with my boy.
Stop the procrastinating already.
Just try to accept yourself, others, friends, family, anyone. Try not to judge, and just be patient and grateful. Try to forgive. Try to let go. Try to love. Hopefully all three. This hallmark card is a wrap.
Aim to do the utmost with what you have been given
I would like to improve my ability to stay present, to enjoy the present moment even when my mind and heart and body hurt, to still continue to stay with my experience, not exit, to know that deep down I am totally perfect even when all evidence (albeit distorted) points to brokenness/imperfection. Carolyn said that I’m not crazy, just living in a crazy world, and my own counsel: to remember that I’m ok, I’m whole and my path is perfect and guiding me to wholeness
I lost weight this last year and I hope to continue the trend. It’s basically been through diet change due to my gall bladder issues. I would really like to add some exercise into the equation.
I’d like to become less invested in the outcomes of small stuff, other peoples stuff, and stuff that might not ever happen. I’d like to be that quiet person who doesn’t offer up their opinion or advice and just simply listens.
See day 6. Ha ha! In listening to Ali Edwards, just being more present in life. Slowing down, being truly in the moment more often, focusing on appreciating this life. Time is whizzing by. I'm more than half way through my time here. I want to enjoy what's left. The only solution is to just do it!
I would like to continue my journey of seeking healthy detachment from my career. I know now that I am not defined only by my job and my title; but every once in a while I get caught up in comparing myself with others. Next year, I hope to make further progress in finding a job that allows me to live the rest of my life more fully and with more agency. I want to build my confidence in "having enough" so I can be fully present in the here and now.
By end of 2020 I will have paid off my credit card debts and implemented a real approach to saving for retirement. This is entirely achievable.
I actually think I will stick to the same mottoes I have been following this past year, since it worked out pretty well for me: - be the best version of yourself - stop worrying about things that didn't happen yet. Or, rephrased: cross that bridge once you get there. I really wouldn't mind if my next year were as awesome as this one was. It has been pretty lit :)
I still would like to quit drinking. I would like to lose at least 10 pounds. Neither of these is likely to happen.
Reach out to more people. Have more one on one experiences- lunches, coffees, cocktails. Make new friends and Be a better friend.
I would like to get a better routine for taking care of the house. I am in survival mode right now, and it's really hard to keep up. I'd also like to have more peace.
“Remedy your deficiencies, and your merits will take care of themselves.” — Edward Bulwer-Lytton I plan to continue working on my deficiencies one at a time using tools like 30BBM and 30DBL. I’ve been very happy with the changes I’ve made in my life so far thanks to the guided self-reflection and action Celeste provides in these.
I would like to be better at understanding and maintaining my boundaries. The advice that started guiding me and kept coming up from different sources is about kindness. Are the people around you kind? Are your friends kind? Can they hear you when you ask for something or tell them you need something? How do they respond to that? I would like to really work on listening, not worrying too much about being the smartest person in the room and trying to prove it. I want to be kind to my friends, be kind to people around me and be kind to myself. I want to invite kindness in and set boundaries about behaviours that are not welcome, that are mean or really snarky or unkind. I want to invest my time in kindness.
I would like to improve my figure skating. My coach has taught me more and more skills which should help me improve.
I listened to a man receiving an Achievement Award speak of how he gave up his corporate career to do something that mattered, not knowing what the outcome might be. I want the courage to do that.
I would like to improve my reaction time - rather than immediately making a snap judgement about a situation, a person, a statement - I would like to see myself develop into a person who immediately reflects on that situation, person or statement. Considers why this situation, person or statement triggers me and begin to understand what the universe is trying to teach or provide for me. My only piece of advice is to remember that the universe always has my back and it is working towards doing this FOR me, not to me.
I'm actually really proud of myself in that I've been asking for help. I usually try to do everything on my own. I have to remember to keep those skills up for my own self care.
I'd like to go from willpower to habit in my wellness world. I'd like to be eating beautiful food, no junk and for it just to be a habit, not something that I'd like to have will power from. I'd like to have a joyful exercise routine that is simply a part of my life. Counsel that I've received is do a little bit everyday and make it part of your routine.
I would like to be more patient. Not only in interactions with my family, but also patient when waiting for results. It's really hard for me to wait for the results of high-stakes events, such as interviews and medical tests. Medical tests especially because my imagination goes wild and I start freaking out when I don't even know anything yet. When Shuba was waiting for the results of her biopsy, she wasn't worried because she said she has this overly optimistic view that everything is going to be all right. She said that more often than not, tests turn out fine, so she wasn't stressing about it. With me, however, it's the opposite: every medical result is assumed to be cancer, unless proven otherwise.
I'm excited to improve myself in the next year, I think the main things that I need to remember is to be mindful and intentional in everything I do. I have a tendency to go on auto-pilot and take people for granted. I want to make a more conscious effort to appreciate those in my life that I'm lucky to have. I want to make that career change so I can start enjoying other parts of my life more and not carry the baggage and stress that my current job leaves me with. I think the best piece of advice I've received this year is the idea that a relationship should have two people who are at 100% so when they come together they make 200%, instead of two people t 50% that only make 100% together. This has helped guide me through the break up and made me remember that there is a 100% version of myself out there and I need to work to get to her.
Don't talk so loud. Don't say so much. "Take stock" when I'm feeling ebullient. Calibrate the other person's reaction. Ask Questions. Seek answers. ...and write things down...especially things to do.
I would like to have more confidence and take chances on myself. A quote I loved that I've heard in different versions before, but they way this was worded really made it hit me. "It's not about being unafraid. It's about being afraid and doing it anyway." I want to live by this if I can.
Be more open-minded. Everybody's opinion matters.
Don't dream it - do it. I have been dreaming so much last year while my goals were so obvious. This year I want to workout at least 2 times each week (run/gym) and do yoga at least 3 times. I will participate in the NaNoWriMo again. I will start and keep up my Passion Planner. I will work on my Travel Bucketlist. I will finish my dreamcatchers for Merel / Bart. I will make time for me. Other than that I would love to eat vega(n) at least 4 days each week. Drink enough water. Journal again.
Lately I have started reading a little more. I would like to keep that up. I have always been a voracious reader, but for the last couple of years, my dedication to reading has waned, and I would like to do more of it. I would also like do a better job of getting regular exercise - 30+ minutes per day.
I want to be more disciplined about calling and reaching out to people who I care about. I want to make sure the folks in my life who matter to me can feel my love and appreciation even when we’re far apart. I also want to dedicate more time to my creative pursuits. I also want to take more time for a spiritual practice and figure out what makes me feel more connected. As part of this, I want to find volunteer work I enjoy and want to do.
I would like to improve myself through connection: tell the rad people they're rad, reply to strangers' Stories, connect with coworkers. I'm really just thinking about deliberately building and maintaining relationships.
Would not to settle down anymore with a unsatisfying job. Would not do things for people, who don't value me, or my time.
I want to be calmer, less anxious. More assured that I belong here every day, all the time, just as I am. I can have the goals and dreams I want. I can take the right actions and not doubt myself. I am striving for a little more Patti Smith, Oprah, Barbra kind of self confidence.
I would like to be more humble with Daniel. I would like to be more kind to myself. I would like to figure out a better balance of myself/parenting and work/home life. I hope I have gone to therapy before the baby is born to begin to deal with how having a baby will impact grief. I would like to be less judgemental and more giving. I want to be authentic and full of integrity.
I will keep focusing on my self improvement. I will realize new skills and practice new abilities. I will jump into things to learn from them and find myself progressing faster than ever!
My mantra since coaching school last year: There are no wrong decisions. There are simply decisions. Whether or not they are wrong has yet to be determined. If it turns out that they end up being "wrong", you simply change course.
I'd like my debt to be a lot more clear.
Stop watching so much Netflix/Hulu! Since my class schedule has been so weird, I have found it hard to stick to a routine where I prioritize reading/studying, working out, and cooking healthy meals.
I would like to continue to be held by the following mantra May I be filled w loving kindness May I be well May I be peaceful and at ease May I be happy
Pray consistently, morning and evening. Work out 3-5 times a week, and have a healthier balance with food.
I know I need to meditate daily. It helps me tap into the best part of myself and allows that part to guide me through my choices and brings more ease into daily life. It elevates my consciousness and helps me to elevate those around me. It’s the best bit of advice I’ve ever received because I know it works - now I just have to do it!
Stick with it, even when it is hard or seems impossible.
What I wrote in question 6 about my body and health is important. But I also think I really want to work on not just feel dread with political and environmental situations, but actually doing something - whatever that something can be. The biggest thing I want to work on is knowing when to push myself and when to allow myself some leeway. It's not something that can be perfectly achieved, but I often don't do things because I need rest and alone time, or I'm just scared. And those are real and valid and important, but also sometimes I need to do the uncomfortable thing.
I want to continue my work on "just being happy"; sensing positive moments and acknowledging them, feeling present in them. A piece of advice that struck me this year is the instruction to "choose the bigger life." This advice encourages me to take more risks and do more things, because they would be bigger life activities. Rather than feeling pressured to do bigger, better and faster, I use it as a reminder that it's ok to take smaller steps to expand our world.
What does that mean? Improve? I like my life. I like where it's going and where it's been. There isn't improvement needed, I'm not a DIY project. I'd like to have a better rhythm. I'd like to dedicate myself to really supporting and encouraging my struggles and successes. I'd like to increase my joy and pursue more of it. But I'm not looking to "be better." I'm looking to find the wonder in what already is.
I have started to practice Mussar and find it most informative and helpful.
I would like to focus on my health in the coming year--scheduling and prioritizing exercise, meditation, sleep, cooking healthy foods. To apply one of my favorite maxims--don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good--to caring for and nurturing my one body, the only one I get. It is the foundation for everything else and good health is a gift.
I have to keep my answer from last year and say I would like to be calmer, have made my home calmer and less cluttered. And give myself the permission to take the time to be calmer, slower, and happier. I do think I've made improvements since last year, but not enough. I've developed two new health problems due to stress, so I really need to make it a priority.
Allow myself to embrace my power. Don’t kowtow. Don’t fear being the grown up in the room. Don’t be afraid to express opinions and give counsel as an authority. Don’t wait for permission but own my experience, maturity and knowledge.
I want to start rehabilitation again and I would like to be able to move more, keep up the bullet journaling
Love openly and assume the best of people and not the worst. So much of life is perspective and creating your own narrative. So be hopeful and look for the beauty in everything.
Only the advice and counsel that I give myself. Unfortunately, I don't always heed my own advice. I want to be more active. Walk more, write more, cook more. I can feel the pressure of aging. It is easier for me to get injured, and it takes longer to recover. If I am physically more active, I will be stronger. Get up off the couch!
develop/maintain family traditions
Keep calm, save money, don't procrastinate. Also eat veggies.
In the past year, I've been a little more self-aware of when I'm behaving in ways that are less than "typical." I've occasionally understood that "feelings aren't facts." I think in the next year, I need greater self awareness of these things, but also of using my agenda so I can be more self-aware of how I spend my time in achieving goals. It works well for me when I use it, but it's only as good as me actually using it.
I don't even know anymore. I read thru my answers from last year and boy was I fucking angry!!! I still am. I'm still really angry that I have an asshole for a mother who has done nothing but bet against me my whole life, including disinheriting me just a few months after my father died. I'm still livid that she and my sister have conjured up this negative story of who they think I am to tell people about me in an attempt to defame me to anyone that will listen. I'm still livid that my "family", who are related to me by blood, would allow this false, nasty tabloid story about me to continue to run and not one of them made any attempt to stand up for me and say disinheriting me is not ok. So, perhaps letting go of this anger would be a great way to improve myself, but how? How do I let it go when it festers inside of me? I've been told by many people to let it go, but how? How do you let that type of shit go when it's so close to your core?
I want to get back into a space where I can do school again. The best advice I got is that college isn't a race. I need to stop stressing over how "behind" I am and just do what I'm comfortable with, tackling college 2 or 3 classes at a time.
Oh man. I think I have said the same thing for a decade, but I would like to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I know that I need to decide the next step in my career--or acknowledge that there is not one right now.
I need to lose weight/tone up. It’s really my midsection that I hate right now. So I need to get rid of the belly fat as it makes me depressed.
I would like to work on being a more understanding person. On 4HQ, I learned a definition for an Idealist that goes something like this: an Idealist is someone whose entire identity is based on what they believe, and should someone disagree, the idealist will take this as a personal attack on their identity. Based on this definition, I identify as an idealist. I don't entirely think this is a bad thing, but I think it's something that I can work on to be a bit more flexible and forgiving when people disagree with me. I would like to work on that in the next year.
Hmm. Maybe the "What if there's nothing wrong with you?" But also I just need to physically feel better, which means better diet & exercise. Maybe present me will be a little nicer to future me? Or maybe at least having that lens will help?
I would like to improve my capacity for compassion towards others. Judgement is something I continue to struggle with even though I'm trying to get better and have through therapy developed new ways of thinking to combat initial judgement. I am getting better at socializing and talking to people. I think I am great at asking questions and getting people to talk. I would love if people could return the favor and pay as much attention to learning about me as I do about them.
Pacing yourself is everything. You don't need to be everything. And it's ok to be sad about the things you don't get to do.
I think I want to try and be less critical and quick to react. I have a very short temper and very little patience nowadays and I feel like that's one thing that's really changed in my life over the past couple of years. I think the only piece of advice that I have for myself is to not take things so personally.
I'm taking the leap and becoming semi-retired. I intend to make the best use of the time that will now be mine. I think the counsel that I received was given outside of last year. But, it feels right; as if the way to follow a certain long-desired path has been made clear. Everything in its time.
I am trying to improve on my exercise regimen and I am hopeful that I will be able to do this because I have joined Work Out World and have been going to Zumba every Monday. That is already an improvement from last year and it's only been a month for me. I hope I can keep this up. There are a lot of emotional benefits as well as the physical benefits to exercising more and all of those are things I would like to experience.
Laugh more! Take myself seriously by taking myself less seriously.
I would like to focus on my and what i want. I really want to lose weight and keep it off. This has been challenging because my go to stress relief is food. Less stress to begin with. I just want to do me! and be ok with that.
Slow down in order to speed up. Try to more regularly practice approaches I’ve learnt from mindfulness: notice more, cultivate gratitude, and be more in the here and now.
I would like to have my weight under control. I am not hugely overweight, but I am heavier than I am comfortable being and it's affecting my self esteem, my running and my clothes - I can't wear what I'd like as it just doesn't fit properly. I know what I need to do - eat sensible portions and make sure that cheese and chocolate and snacks are a treat and not an everyday occurrence.
I would like to take better care of my health. You only live once and you are only YOUNG once. Mental health and physical health are so intrinsically tied to one another and I'm hoping I develop a routine that makes time to care for both.
I want to work on trusting myself more. I want to accept that I am not a burden and I am not too much for the people who love me. I want to work on having and showing gratitude for my body.
I need to treat the events around me more like the weather. I can protect myself from them, and choose how I respond, but I really can't control what happens around me.
I want to keep working on our sex life. It's been fun to experiment and change and grow together. To really find our way as we grow into double digits as a married couple.
I started going to therapy in 5779 and, while at times I feel like I'm being encouraged to become too self-involved, it has been very helpful. One thing that has come out is that I really define myself in relation to people or activities and don't have that much of an independent identity, or at least an independent direction. The questions are really: who am I becoming, and who do I want to be?
I would like to be better at assuming that I can try new things and that it's okay to not be good at them. I think sometimes I get very complacent in a fixed mindset that I am good at things or I am not, that I have inherent qualities and creativity, spontaneity, and talent for performance are not among them. That if I did not practice something as a youth then I would never be good enough to try it now. I then tend to accept the ways that I am (bad at cooking, can't ride a bike, not musically talented, don't like exercising) from a prior mold/narrative of myself that might not serve me anymore, and I don't have to hold onto those qualities as True forever, don't have to bask in them and overemphasize them to define who I am. Maybe there's a way to like Halloween again? Or just to be okay not defining myself as a Competent person, because being incompetent at some stuff is how you learn.
Be the person you are around your campers.
DON'T BE AFRAID! Or, rather, because you are a scaredy cat: don't worry about the fear. Embrace it. Let it exist. Don't let it be the only facet that shapes your decisions.
Hopefully, I'll continue to improve my conscious contact with H"M, and grow in understanding and observance of Torah as it speaks to me in the moment... My advice is to live in the present to the extent possible...
I want to be less attached to people and reduce my fear of loss. I think of what Rabbi Uhrbach said to us in class just yesterday, that you just like you can't cut off the bottom part of a sine curve without reducing the height of the top, so too can you not attempt to minimize and prevent pain and sorrow without also limiting your capacity for experiencing joy. I want to build resources inside myself for emotional reassurance and self-care, and figure out how to build meaningful and supportive relationships with others without depending on them to the point of needing them to function.
I want to become more generous with “giving of myself” rather than just with money.
I intend to continue to get healthy this year and one way I am doing that is by asking my husband to move out. I am asking him to give me space to see if I can improve my mood without him. It seems that he is a trigger for me and while that makes me sad because I love him, he is also not good for me in so many ways.
Life is short, so enjoy every day like it was your last. The older I get the more I think about this. I keep saying that I will have time for that when I retire, but there is no guarantee that I will even live until I retire. I need to be better about checking things off of my bucket list...and the first step would be to make a bucket list!
I've had so much encouragement this year. Perhaps because of all my struggles. But it keeps me moving forward. I would like to feel stronger in my body. When I fainted at the Y a few weeks ago it really shook me up. And next week I go in for another LEEP procedure. In my heart/body I don't feel strong due to these issues. That's a little terrifying. I'd like to feel strong and healthy and not afraid. Who doesn't want that?
"No big deal" is something we've been talking about a lot in YTT. I think it's something I could benefit from adapting. Things are usually never as big of a deal as we make them out to be, and it would do us much good to realize that more often.
I need to follow my own advice (and A's, and K's, and L's) and see someone about my ADHD. I want to be able to focus, to be productive when I need to, instead of only when it feels urgent (or when I should be doing something else entirely. Like right now: I'm filling in my 10Q answers when I should be tackling Save the Date labels). I literally don't know what it will feel like, to be in control of my focus.
Just as I was getting over my "imposter syndrome" as a Program Director, I decide to take a new leap and now I have imposter syndrome as a small business owner. BUT I've already gathered a lot of life experience and I am prepared for this challenge. My best advice for my past or future self is just DO IT. Anything you think of doing, just do it, immediately, before you have time to rethink it - sign up for that fair, make that call, send that email, place that order, say all the things! Then you're forced to follow through :)
Ask for help when I need it. Being stuck is not embarrassing, but being stuck and stubborn about it is pretty embarrassing in retrospect
Woof. If there is a common thread between all the answers for this year, it's this one.. you know the end goal. You know where you want to be. You know what happiness and success and purpose feel like. You need to set up some structure, consistency, and plan to get there. You got this. I just shared this with a friend today: "You have potential. Maybe everything isn’t going exactly the way you want it to, but you realize things aren’t totally out of whack. Like you, I spend most of my time thinking about what I want to be in the future and what I want my life to be like. I’ve reached many levels of success I once thought unfathomable, but I haven’t cured my longing for more or my sense of incompleteness — does anyone? If you learn to decipher between feeling like you’re off track and actually being off track, you’ll learn how to course-correct over time. Your mind plays tricks on you to make you feel inadequate, but it can also signal a need for real change in your life. Know your situation is a mixture of both. We’re all just human beings struggling to become better versions of ourselves. If you haven’t given up the fight on getting that right, you’re on track. You’re okay."
Not sure, and not really. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got, though, was when I was in a seemingly impossible situation, having to make a decision choosing from among horrible options. She told me that the right decision is whatever I decide. It's kind of a tautology, I know, but her point was that there is no pre-defined "right" decision in most major dilemmas. You make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time, and that is THE decision. You don't go back and question; whatever you decided was in fact the best decision because it is the one you made.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." One of my good good coworkers told me this this past year, and I need to remind myself of that regularly. It's hard to do in my renewed role as a student, especially at a prestigious institution. While it's, again, intangible, I hope to be less concerned about how my path aligns with others' paths or others' expectations of what my path should be.
Be a better wife and mother. Not be mean and critical. Be more loving. Be more conscientious. Be more on time. Never waste time. Lose a few pounds. Stop peeling my skin. Make music videos and write songs.
I really want to become more physically fit and capable. I've been doing acro on and off for a year and a half, but I want to be more consistent and better at it, and I want to keep ice skating.
My answer to this mirrors my answer this year to question 6! No longer a believer in the notion that I need to focus on improving myself. Not that I do not try every day to be the best version of me and seek to learn more about myself. I feel good with who I am.
I want to become more confident, and more trusting. The confidence thing is a lifelong learning process, and I want to feel like I've made progress by this time next year. In terms of trust, I want to become more trusting of myself, and I want to work to repair the hurt that's been done to me regarding trusting other people's intentions and my perceptions of situations
"What someone else thinks of you is none of your business." This has been a helpful thing for me to remember this year as I try not to beat myself up for needing so much help. By this time next year, I'd like to be working and able to balance the elements in my life that I find important to myself.
Put blame where it's worth (thanks Camille). I need to work on not giving so much power and energy to other people's opinions or situations that don't deserve it. I can recognize when something is not working and make a change before it gets bad. Lesson learned.
I would really like to be less jealous and insecure about friends. I realize that the only times I'm passive aggressive (which is the worst, like just be aggressive...) it has to do with jealous and worry that my friends don't want to be friends with me. That's dumb and I'd reeeeeeeeeally like to leave that behind. I'd like to be confident in myself and my friendships.
I think the most important recurring advice I get that I hope I really try to listen to is that I need to ask for help. I forget to do that and my life is unmanageable. I hope I remember to ask for help. I've made some recent strides, getting a housecleaning service 2x a month and reaching out as I can. I can always do better at this, I have a hard time figuring out what help I need and working up the courage to ask for it.
I would like to establish some minimal routine; grow financially. The one thing I need to focus on in order to do that is shed the old, shape anew
Exercise. Spending less time on my computer. Trying new places for food and drink.
Next year will be a year on hold. I just need to maintain. I'll learn some new stuff, about guns, tactics, laws, maybe scuba diving and sailing, hopefully stay in decent fitness. Main goal will be maintaining contact and positive relations with the family back home. If I can do that, I'll be happy.
I'm coming back to ... "This too shall pass." If things are going well - really enjoying them and have gratitude that things are great - because "this too shall pass." If things are not going so well - take heart because "this too shall pass."
Yes, dear one, please continue to listen to your heart. Sometimes it is difficult to hear what the heart is saying and sometimes it’s hard to sit with feelings of loss or regret or loneliness or jealousy, but you’ve learned it is always best to sit, rather than to act, when feelings like that are intense. And you know you are not alone. Not ever. Even when it sometimes feels like you are. And always remember how loved you are.
I'd like to be better at planning ahead. But I'd also like to always maintain my sense of Spontaneity. I recently picked up the trumpet! It would be cool if I can play more than six notes on it by this time next year. Right now I can play up to an A. Yesterday I got a high B
In the next year I want to work on being more grounded/rooted where I am. I want fully embrace the work I’ve created for myself. I want to turn my focus to meeting goals in my personal life as well. A key piece of advice I’m still internalizing is that there is no ‘should.’
Wow. As with every year, I'd like to lose weight and feel better about myself. And I'd like to have a different kind of job. The best advice, from a job coach I went to, was to talk to other people about their jobs, to get a sense of what, specifically, I should aim for. That was in 2017, and I have been doing that, but not as diligently as I should, perhaps.
A Billy Joel song playing on a Netflix series made me cry, because I listened to the lyrics properly for the first time and realised that the way I feel is as old as the test of time. The song is called Vienna. Here is the touching part of the song: 'Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile, but then if you're so smart tell me, why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out. You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day. But you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you get old. You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through. When will you realize, Vienna waits for you" What's my Vienna? That wisdom is what I would like to discover this coming year. Like the lyrics, I still hold on to this rush because I'm scared of not achieving things before I get old. I assume that there is probably a fate for me no matter what I do but maybe pushing is my fate. Who knows what the story is.... I feel this fire and will keep pushing.
I'm internalizing some advice from Marie forleo and the title of her book everything is figureoutable. I think that for a while I wasn't feeling very good because all the things that I wanted to achieve seemed too far away and too Grande. But I have slowly worked towards each of those goals, and now I feel like I might be on the verge of something good. I have a job in the field that I like and it even helps children in the community. My relationship with my family has gotten better. And I'm also taking steps towards leading a more creative life. In the upcoming year, I would like to continue reducing the amount of possessions that don't make me happy. And spend more time doing what I enjoy with people that I enjoy.
Be more disciplined. Advice - dont worry about doing everything. Get _something_ done.
Well, what advice or counsel would I send myself as I was moving through the past year? "Treasure every moment." to feel the wind on my skin; to see the shadows dancing; to smell the new-mown grass; to hear the small movements of the leaves (and the distant thrum of the automobiles); to taste the sweetness every moment. The time rushes on; duties and habits clamp you into a small corner; the moment will not come again. Be here now.
Communicate better. No assumptions, not jumping to conclusions. Being truthful about what I hear and how it affects me and listening to responses that are most often not at all what I thought intent was.
Shannon told me to see what's out there job-wise ... I know he wants me to stay, but I think I need to investigate, to see what's possible, and then make the decision of what's right for me
Go slow. Be patient. Relax. Enjoy life. Play more. Lighten up.
I would like to learn how to better pick my battles. I would like to be a better partner and to try to grow more attentive to my husband’s needs, as well as to better communicate my own needs. I want to grow in supporting my daughter and really make efforts to be more present as a parent for her, even in moments that are hard or boring or exhausting.
I would like to have found a way to start earning passive income, rather than just working to get money. The more I read about it, the more that it makes sense to me... the idea of "making other people's dreams come true" as some put it for the rest of my life really doesn't appeal to me. I'd like to think I'll be at least partially on the way when I read this next year.
I'm going to start therapy. I wish I had been able to admit to myself and others along time ago that it was time. I've always felt like I was stronger than this, but I'm not. Strength comes from vulnerability. I've always been too afraid and ashamed to recognize that for myself. It's time.
SO MANY. I would love to list them all, but I don't want to put energy into thinking of them right now. Maybe I'll write it in my journal. Top of my head: "Step out of line" "Make peace with imperfection" - seeking perfection is only making you mess up more. I really personalized this this year. "In Judaism, theres a concept called "Good Enough." It means if you mess up while praying, you should keep going, it's good enough. Sometimes you can try your hardest but the thing just isn't meant to happen. You need to do everything to accomplish your goals AND accept when you cannot. You're doing your best and you can do better. Loving bravely is a good idea, follow your values and not your anxieties in this realm.
Take it easy, enjoy the ride, and do your best.
Pat G gave me a piece of advice re: my last visit to my mom's: Love the body, and the heart will take care of itself. I think this will help me remain compassionate with Stan and with tenants when I am not feeling positively inclined towards them. I am already usually. Having fewer unusual incidents will be lovely.
I would like to nest more attentively, inspired by David and his togetherness. How do I want to feel in my home? I would also like to stick to a savings plan and not be so tempted by clothing.
I think taking the time to take care of myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Figuring out who I am so I can interact in the world around me.
I want to be able to finish what I Start. I want to hold myself to the commitments I make for myself. and I know, from all the voices surrounding me, what I have to do is to just... do it. that I can get up and decide to take action, not just wait for some perfect opportunity or an insatiable drive. but I need to hold myself accountable. slog through when it's tough, and not worry about perfection. and the latter is the difficult part... starting is fun, finishing is boring.
Small steps. Baby steps, even. Even the smallest amount of progress each day is still progress, and that adds up. I want to be healthier. I want to be much more intentional with my time and energy. I want to tackle the tasks that most scare me every day, so that I can prove to myself that I am capable of it, and so that it gets easier, and I can start to break this terrible habit of anxiety and procrastination. Breathe, deeply and completely and often. Re-center. Be grateful, especially when you don't feel like it. Open your eyes and take in all the beautiful things around you, in your life, every day. They're here, you're here, take a step.
Same answer as last year - I have made some progress with de-cluttering, but there is much work to continue in this area! I have not received any specific advice in this area, and I have not bought the KonMari book, but many friends have tried it with success, so it still seems like a good potential method to help.
Keep cooking, keep exercising. Try a new hobby. don't fall into the trap of believing that this is as good as it gets, that this is as good as I get. Push myself even when it scares me. When it comes to looking for love, have enough faith in the process to take things slow.
I'd like to have a daily meditation practice again. The only advice I'd give myself is to follow whatever I wrote to myself in my meditation class. It seemed to be good and grounded and useful. I kept it and can re-read when necessary. I don't remember what it said, so I will go back to it. Probably just keep practicing.
I need to remember to stay true to myself and not let the mean and immature people I work with to crush my soul. I need to stay the nice person I am told that I am.
Have more free time to play
I think probably the best way to improve my life it to learn how to manage time and expectations better. I feel like this is something I once had control over but I think I lost it when I came back from abroad. There's no specific advice I can think of but I think graduating and remembering it's okay not to be perfect will be a big help.
I will learn to walk on my hands to trick the beasts that follow us. They beg for scraps but are smart enough to dodge traps.
I noticed I have an outstanding goal from last year that I really want to move forward this year. I want to identify organizations and people I would like to work for and with - specifically racial justice centered organizations and figure out how to transition into a position that is in alignment with my core values.
I'd like to grow up a bit and become more well rounded. I want to learn more about Judaism and the Torah, listen to more podcasts, and read more. I have learned to take life one step at a time. Trying to plan too far ahead leads to disappointment and unnecessary stress. I hope that I find joy in the little things and learn that life is really about being happy and treating others with kindness.
I want to be more in the moment. And get out of the damn house! Get out and do things like hike and yoga. Day car trips to see things. I want to be more relaxed and feel I have made a difference since last year. But I want that Irish/Italian ego back. That knows I am good at what I do and I know I will get it done. I miss being sure of myself.
I would like to find more joy in life. For me that means having a social life, which means finding friends and taking a bit more time off of work. I would like to say I have more of a plan than this but I don't.
My goal for the coming year is to act less entitled. I only recently realized how entitled I act so much of the time, and I don't like that about myself at all. So that's the goal for this year, and it's $20 in the jar for every time that I act entitled from here on out.
Listen harder to my wife. She's been processing a lot of her own growth and changes and I don't want to dismiss the work she's put in. Be more careful with the oldest daughter. She's a sensitive girl with high-touch emotional needs. I have to step back and take myself out of her equation. I was clearly told this by her therapist and she is completely right.
In all honestly, I’d like to have more adventures focused just on me. Maybe even do a solo trip. Go visit friends instead of just work and racing travel. Keep up with routine and investing in art and learning. Not sure there’s specific advice, but acknowledgment I did a lot focused on others. It’s okay to correct that next year.
I would like to let go more. I would like to let go of control and surrender to the flow of life. I would like to trust more -- that life unfolds as it is supposed to, and that I don't need to try to maneuver anything or try to bend myself to make something fit. I would also like to let go of self-doubt and trust my intuition more. My intuition is my truest guide and compass, and all I need to do is pause and breathe, and it will guide me in the direction that is best for me.
I would like to learn how to be more clear on my needs, expectations, and feedback to others. I want to improve my communication skills, learn how to make my ideas more clear, and have a strong skill to manage the 6+ people who come to me for their development and career progression. I find the advice of JJ particularly useful and would like to continue to get his mentorship.
I need to take care of myself first - spiritually, physically and emotionally. Pilates will continue. I’ll lose weight for the wedding at first, but then myself more long term. My sleep will be better. Then, I’ll be a better partner, mother, sister, daughter, niece, friend.
I want to live my life to the fullest. After a year with so much sickness and death I feel a deep need to reinvent myself. I want to live: Like I’m dying In the NOW Like there’s no tomorrow Like its my last day on earth Like there is no future and no past They all sound so cliche, but so true!!!
Taking care of myself is important, but I would really like to practice consistency in what I do again. Baby steps will be important.
Last years answer is still 100% relevant: "As before I want to Lose weight, take care of my health, save more and protect my creative time. I need to stay focused, constantly review my priorities to keep myself on track. Know when to say when and not spread my self too thin" I do think this last year i've done a better job at healthcare. Tho not fitness. and I'd add to the above making time for social events even when i'm busy. Advice. Slow down. be mindful. Keep your eye on the prize(s)
I'd like to judge less, compare less, give more, care more, be more open, kind, and questioning, be more vulnerable and let others care for me. I'd like to waste less- resources, time, money, food. I'd like to use my time to care more about the Earth, the world, my family, and myself.
Remember to be proud of myself every day. Set my self-worth on myself, not on external anything.
Work less at home and do personal projects. I’ve let work suck up my evenings again!
Try to make sure that I deal with issues up front. I am a person that tends to avoid conflict or even unpleasantness wherever possible, I’ve learned that letting things drift along just makes it all worse.
An important breakthrough for me was therapy -- being reminded that when I am apiraling alone, esp those moments when I don't know what to do with my time, when I'm sorta manically reaching out to people as a lifeline - those are the moments I need to be alone. To do something simple like a walk or a stretch. I would like to have fewer of those moments; to plan my time ahead a little more, to be a bit more in touch with what I need in a moment, and courageous enough to seak it out, especially if it involves rest and alone time - things that I usually have trouble justifying for myself.
I would like to improve my consistency this year. I tend to start a lot of things off strong and eventually fall into a pattern of letting things that are important to me go. I need to start prioritizing myself and my goals all the time.
Taking a week off work with no email for the first time in about eight years was the best gift I could give myself. I'd do that again. Stop caring so much about what people think. Get out of my head.
Give 75 or 80% at work. It looks close enough to giving 100% every day, and you feel so much better. Quality over quantity, slow is smooth and smooth is fast, etc...
I would like to be more present in my life. I want to be more aware of the thought processes that drag on my happiness/contentment so that I can determine what is most important to me and "tune out the rest. I would like to make a weekly ritual of reviewing the week and how it made me feel so I become better at this.
I would like to continue to clear my mind of fear, at all levels, and live in enjoyment of each day, as if it were my last, because you never know.
Love myself - all my imperfections- dark and light sides- be gentle with myself.
I would like to have more fun! I would like to exude more fun myself and engage in new adventures and activities that may lighten my heart a bit.
my best friend told me I need to make myself happy first. i know this of course, but I haven't been doing it. I have been managing the emotions of others and tiptoeing at home and trying not make waves at work, but that's not true to my lion self. All the things that make me happy I have not been doing enough of becauSe I'm worried about living in a shared space or feeling like I might offend at work, not feeling comfortable. It has to stop. I'm so whiny and annoying when I'm not happy. Time to channel honey badger
Continue to work on being physically healthier and continue to take time for my mental health given my job.
I want to be less judgmental. I feel like I've been caught in a negative spiral a lot this year, mostly with the farm. I do a lot of complaining and being frustrated about people. I don't know where it comes from, but it's unhealthy and I don't like it. I want to remember to see the good in everyone.
Well my Question #6 answer is fairly similar for this answer -- HEALTHIER! Mentally and physically. I am going to try to take heed to "Live 1 day at a time" approach -- be the best me I can every day and not try to think too far out.
Physical improvement, but without a vain goal. I want to get back to the joys of running and the breathing room I once had in yoga. I have found emotional space and calm in physical spaces, and I want to find the energy to rededicate myself to those activities. If it's not that, perhaps that's ok and I want to be ok letting go of what used to serve me and considering new outlets.
I want to make improvements on my overall wellness and choices. In the last year, I have made significant improvements and progress in terms of going to the gym and building strength/physical fitness. However, I still have a decent amount of work to do in terms of of what I put in my body, and of course cooking for myself. These are big goals that I expect will take a while to achieve, but I am excited to make progress in this area overall. In addition, I want to continue to develop a healthier relationship with my body, and appreciation for my body. This has and likely will continue to be a work in progress, but I'm hoping as I continue to focus on healthier choices I am able to make progress in this are as well.
My advice for the year comes from 1 Corinthians 3:8: The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. Labor is kopos in Greek, meaning to toil. God is saying (through Paul), our reward will not come from our success or our talents (how could God judge us for a talent he didn't give us?) but from how hard we work. Are we putting our all into what God has given us? I know I haven't, so I want to put my full effort into doing the work God has called me to (family and work) and not being lazy or selfish.
To become more even-tempered. Remember: I am not responsible for the energy that other people bring to me. Being consistently calm is a leader's greatest asset.
I’d like to tone up more and better my mental health.
I’d like to be healthier; I’d like to feel more in control of my eating, cool more, establish a better exercise and sleep regimen. I’d like to return to yoga and get to a healthier weight. I’d like to work on being more assertive. A piece of advice that helped me was “don’t think so much about everything; practice taking a risk to do something outside your comfort zone.”
It is a recurring theme - but I would like to be more present and worry less. I am extremely hard on myself and worry too much. I would like to let some of that go and enjoy life.
Continue to get my strength/muscle back after hip surgery. Come back better than ever.
I want to grow my business and simplify my life. I want my children to realize that they're not going to be kids forever and they need to learn how to be adults. I want my husband to become a partner to me again. I wish I had advice or counsel to fall back on.
I would like to continue to become more confident both mentally and physically. In the next year I hope to continue to learn to trust myself, trust my beauty, believe in my beauty and in my strength, and position myself in the world at a level that is reflective of my true worth.
Continue to get better at setting boundaries, especially around my time and emotional energy. Find ONE thing I can consistently commit to in terms of organizing/activism, and do it. Be more patient. Don't get so stuck in my own head. Truly listen to others and myself.
Schedule your workouts. Schedule your rest. Schedule your reading. Schedule your prayer time. Schedule your prayer time. Schedule your time intentionally with friends who will push you into your destiny. Have a six pack.
something i learned in therapy was about reclaiming my time. i would like to make sure i set boundaries and not bog myself down with obligations that aren't actually mine.
Be meditative, be mindful. Remember that not choosing a side is still making a choice. Stop feeling sorry for myself.
I want to stop overthinking and overanalyzing the little things. I'm on this earth to just be and breathe, so TT just keep doing that. Don't try and rush it all.
I want to be intentional before I say yes to things. I want to devote my energy to the projects and people that truly matter to me and are in alignment with my articulated goals. I want to rest and nest and build and tend my home space. I want to simplify. A big insight this year has been that I am terrible at resting. I keep running and taking on more things, which I am good at and accomplish well, so I don't have time to slow down or be with myself. Tom, in my internship cohort, reflected back that I was near burnout myself as I was educating my internship site about burnout. As Steve said, I am allowed to be lazy. My spiritual director called a retreat "wasting time with God" and Molly dared me to "do nothing" when I was at the hermitage. I need to learn more about what that feels like in my body because it is pretty foreign.
I hope to find peace and more acceptance about the process of adjusting to the house, being more patient about how long it takes to accomplish each project. I hope that my husband's increasing deafness does not drive a wedge between us. I hope to find balance between practicing the piano and time to read, and maybe to be a bit more social.
I'd like to follow through more on the 'nice to haves' of my day to day. Maintaining relationships with friends (calling first, I can do it), responding to texts (just not going to bed with unread texts, I can do it), and prioritizing practicing my calligraphy and or Spanish skills (I can do this, just make the time). I'm reflecting a bunch (particularly after looking at some of the advice I've shared that spoke to me over the years) that there's always enough time for the things that are important. If days are going by without me being able to accomplish what I want to accomplish (in and out of work for that matter), then it's a reflection of how I'm choosing to use my time and prioritize. I hope in a year from now I'll feel like I was able to grow in these areas--and, I'm sure future me will have a ton of thoughts on that, as she always does.
I’d like to improve in being a socially conscious consumer. Being new parents, we’ve prioritized convenience over all else (disposable diapers, pouches and jars of baby food, amazon delivery for everything). Between climate change and the many socially harmful impacts of capitalism/consumerism, I’d like to focus on how I can better combat environmental issues and racism/oppression through my consumption habits. I think Raising Luminaries is a good resource to help figure these things out.
I hope I am able to give myself the same compassion and understanding that I give others.
I think I answered how I'd like to improve myself in question 6, but I'll recap here: 1.) be more direct with my friends/stop taking their shit; 2.) lose 10 pounds; 3.) host/launch the DINNER PARTY; and 4.) be vegan 4 days a week to honor Zoey. Advice I'd like to give myself/follow: Stop caring what other people think. It doesn't need to be personal to them, it just needs to be clear to you. You can respect other people's opinions without being beholden to them, and you should also remember that what you value is often not shared by the people whose approval you need. You should not need the approval of anyone, and definitely not people that don't value the same things you do.
Go for it! Get off the computer and start something. Stay healthy, exercise, keep aiming for that 140 goal, Don't let others drag you down. Pray, Eat, Work, Play, Rest.
Want life to be EASIER. More time for play. Want to not stress out over things as much as I do now. Maybe less anger.
I feel that I improved my life this year by stepping away from a professional life that made me very unhappy. I suppose I would like to improve my life in the next year by re-engaging professionally in a way that brings me joy and satisfaction. I think my most valued counsel from this year comes from the book, "What if This Were Enough," by Heather Havrilesky, in which she challenges me to accept what I have and what I am good at as good enough, so that I can resist getting caught up in the paralysis that comes from always seeking more and better.
Follow thru... get things done in a timely fashion. Being there for people but taking care of myself.
I have a tendency to feel very entitled. I hope to be able to pause and perceive that before I react in many situations. Also see answer below. I hope to read a bit more on how to improve focus, execution, and skills that will make me a good leader. Also I hope that Eduardo and I find a good way to balance our mental burdens of taking care of things. We have started to talk about this, but haven’t acted upon it yet and I hope we are able to organize things in a way in which I am not carrying the full mental burden.
I'd like to reduce my anxiety, move my body more, feel more at home in my body and in less pain (especially my neck). I'd like to be debt-free. I'd like to have more unbridled fun. Advice: Do one thing at a time. Breathe. Let go. Dance more. Take the risk.
אהיה אשר אהיה (שמות 3:14) אין עוד מלבדו (דברים 4:35) גם זה יעבור יש יהוה במקום הזה ואנוכי לא ידעתי (בראשית 28:16) הלם של-נעליך מעל רגליך כי המקום אשר אתה עומד עליו אדמת-קדש הוא (שמות 3:5) לא טהור ברא לי אלוהים ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי איכה? (בראשית 3:9) הנני! (בראשית 22:1)
I will continue to pursue education in the maintenance trade arena. I was told by a co-worker that I am too good of an employee to stay stuck doing what I am doing and that I have to move on into trade maintenance.
I don't think self and life are things that need to be improved. Really living life and being present with self are what opens up potential for improvement, which will happen by itself, not because I would like it. It is helpful to have loving and wise intentions though.
I intend to take one habit that no longer serves me and replace it with a habit that does serve me, each three month cycle of the coming year. The first habit I would like to change is to replace morning and evening internet use with bullet journaling and writing.
Even as last year: Live more consciously, more intentionally. Ask before I act, Act with wisdom and love. how to do that? I ask for divine guidance.
“I am endlessly patient. There is nothing you can do to chip away at my patience. I can wait.” The problem and the solution are within you The universe went through a lot just to make you. No pressure bro, just don’t waste it. It’s a miracle that you’re here at all
Be more mindful of money and relationships. Be more forgiving when I fall short.
Well since last year I have gotten my life tilted towards only my off work life and I love, love, LOVE it!! I love to be at home with the boys and my darling son and DIL. To improve on that would mean that I have my money situation established and continue to be the best person I can be.
I want to get under 200 lbs. I will need to cut back on my normal diet to get there. I want to improve my financial situation by getting a job in my field that is both well paid and satisfying. I want to increase my commitment to making sure we elect a democratic president and overturn the Republican majority in the senate. I want to have more fun and get out and do things more, like playing music and going to concerts.
I'd like to improve myself a lot this year. I have started a few consistent habits I'm proud of - I need to find a way not to lose my way. Why do I always do this? I feel stronger than I have in the past but I need help staying functional for more of the year. Therapy helps with this, if I can afford it.
Do my stretches and strengthening exercises.
I want to focus on doing what I can change and leave go what I can't change
I would like to be less superficial, love more (both on an individual and societal level), be more involved in local Jewish life, and contribute more of my time and effort to improving local community. I don’t have a specific piece of advice in mind, but I heard something recently about the importance of being generous with one’s actions and time. I feel like I have not been generous enough with my time this past year.
I would like to improve myself by reading more. I want to become more literate and learned in Judaism, in public and social issues of the world, and especially in issues that are relevant to my job. I also want to improve myself by continuing to learn how to become a better advocate for myself, both personally and professionally.
The times I've felt the best about myself is when I've stopped mentally listing out the never-ending "to do" and lamenting at all the things I haven't accomplished, especially when compared to other peoples' lives - and instead looked at my life at all the things I have done. I'd like to continue that trend.
I feel like there's been some pretty clear answers to this question reflected in others, so in the spirit of keeping it fresh I'm going to say that I want to work on my discipline. Part of that is to establish a foundation of routines that I can then build on to achieve other goals. I'm reminded of Adm. McRaven, who went viral a number of years ago by saying if you want to change the world, you have to make your bed: "If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better." Basically, I want to develop in myself a culture of discipline. Maybe I'll start by making my bed every morning.
I'd like to lose my shit less over the next year. I need to be more patient with my kids and give them another beat to respond before getting upset.
I would like to improve my patience with myself and with others, would like to give myself and others the benefit of the doubt, and would like to be more intentional and disciplined in my life. That means trying only to do things for a reason, not just because it's there and I can (tv-bingeing for example). It means doing things that help me take steps towards a larger (or longer term) goal, not just that which is in front of me right then and there (e.g. working on work-project / personal project that won't pay off for at least another few months / years, but are worth pursuing). In terms of advice that can help me along - one quote I've got hanging on my office wall is "are you disciplined enough to be a free spirit?" To me it says that in order to be free, you've got to be smart, create a plan to put you in a position to be free, and stick to that plan. I've written about this before in my early 750 writings, and I will go back to them when Yom Kippur is over. A plan is exactly what I need. The plan for Colorado that I made with Asia allowed me to be free while I was there. The plan that grad school laid our for me allowed me to be free for those two years. Now I need a plan that's larger, that covers more time, more intermediate goals, and a larger (more important) outcome: personal freedom. People who started successful businesses started with a plan. Hell, even travel bloggers and insta-celebrities started with a plan. I hope I can remember and use (my interpretation of) Ana's advice -- keeping the end goal (being free) top of mind -- as I try to be disciplined enough in 5780.
Better discipline, less procrastinating, more financial goals. Stop fucking around. Stop letting fear get in the way.
In the coming year, I would like to be kind, even when I am not feeling well or 100%.
I want to keep up good patterns and rituals, but also make time for fun. Here's a quote I heard recently "you can't change and stay the same" - Chief Whiteman I want to be open to the way my internal changes impact my life.
I would like to get back on track with my mental health. I would like to get back in therapy and address my thinking patterns that aren't helpful. I would like to become more aware of myself and see my blind spots better.
I want to be very diligent about checking in with myself about what I need and express those needs to those around me. I've never been good at that but I think that burnout is a real thing for working mothers and I really don't want to go there so I need to be vigilant about being gentle with myself and expressing my needs to those around me.
I would like to improve myself by reading more, eating better, listening more, serving more, exercising/walking more, enjoying my Life more... Life is short. No matter how long one gets to be here. Life flies by in a wink... Time flies whether U are having Fun or not, so work to create the Life U don't need to get away from. Hone your tools. Serve others. Share your Gifts. Share your Magic. Live, Laugh, Love... May Peace be with Us all. Psalm 122:7-8
Let go, let go, let go. Live in the moment. Get more sleep. Be kind to yourself.
I find it difficult to think of advice, does that say something about me? Am I not receptive to it? I hope I can improve that. I am introspective but I always think my own advice is the best. Ron will give advice like stop spending so much time in the bathroom and help him more and I do try to do that. I hope I can be a better boat partner for him, now that I am no longer scared of the boat! Alec advised me to get some help for my anxiety about having the baby sleep over but it seems I am kind of stuck on the effexor which I believe is working pretty well. I hope to be more organized and more efficient with my time and spend less time on internet and tv
I think I need to be forgiving of myself (and my partner!) as I am sure to struggle with some stressful moments and a lot of firsts in the coming year. I think I need to try to live in the moment more and enjoy each day for what it has to offer instead of constantly projecting to the future.
work very hard and don't take no's for answers. going to be prolific, but also an amazing salesman; of my work, ideas, self
Speak up more. Speak up before I hit the point I am a ball of fury. No specific advice comes to mind?
I'd like to spend more time doing and less time watching. I continue to think phones and social media and distractions are the biggest obstacle and what stand between me and the person I want to be.
In the next year, I would like to improve my life by becoming more integrated and continuing to pursue internal and external growth. I want to continue to write future vision plans and reread them. And I'd like to move and take steps under the assumptions of a growth mindset, and assume that others view me that way as well. To begin, I think the most grounding and guiding thing I could do is be mindful. Mindfulness (+gratitude and metta) would directly improve my life next year. Advice: "What does it take to feel a joy so strong, you can almost levitate? All it takes, really, is presence." -Alice Walker
I need to continue to find time for myself. I can’t over commit to things. And only say yes to things a really want to do!
I received a lot of good professional advice. I plan to implement what I can and push the boundaries f what I think I can do. I have these nagging thoughts about personal relationships. There's this gut feeling that I'm always going to be alone. I hope that proves to be a groundless fear.
Oh my god. This is the question I ask myself every single life, because I'm always striving for excellence, for improvment, for a better life and lifestyle. I would like to work on so many areas of my life, but if there is one thing I need to remember of past experiences and apply here is that you can't do everything at once. You need to be patient and nice with yourself. I struggle with that, because I want everything to be perfect. The result is that I don't manage to strongly improve the quality of my life, because you just can't be working on every area of your life. This is why next year I want to solely work on my academia and my health. Both are related, because most of my health issues steam from university. I want to succeed of course, but I need to adopt another mindset on academic success. I am slowly doing so, and taking more into consideration my health. It's not easy, but I hope I don't fall into a vicious circle where I end up forgetting about my physical and mostly mental health. I know that sometimes I just get lost during the academic year, because I cannot handle the stress. It will be so much helpful that I improve my relationship with stress and university. It's okay to want to succeed and be a good student, but not at the detriment of my health. It's not an easy balance to reach, and honestly I don't know how I'll be able to keep myself in check. What I am thinking about is mostly self-related : listen more to my body, take breaks, eat healthier, self-care, don't feel guilty about relaxing, stop doing so many things at the same time, IMPROVE MY SLEEP! The last one is so fundamental! My academic perfomances are directly impacted by my poor sleep quality. I am all the time tired. Lots of people know me for saying "I am so tired. I am exhausted". One advice related to this hectic life I have was giving by my cousin who studied pyschology and is working in Vienna right now. She told me to stop wanting to do so much when I'm clearly not ready ; it's better to be the best at what you do, even if it's a single thing, than do thousands of stuff without doing anything right. I should be thankful for the opportunity I have to study law at my faculty, even if I still feel kinda skeptical about it. I should use this opportunity to be excellent here and at the present moment. The future is not gonna run away. If I want to achieve my goals, I should not be always looking 2 years forward, but focus on the present moment and do the best RIGHT NOW.
To work on being clear minded and willing to face things head on. I loved this advice which I received in April of this year: "Let go of your anxieties. What will be will be. Don't worry about your boss. He's an adult. Don't sweat social media and stop touching your face."
I would like to improve myself by backing myself and my savings. Having 3 months worth of back up expenses and also some savings for a future trip. I would also like to improve myself my learning more about nutrition and eating well to nourish myself. I'm learning to think big and believe in myself.
I would like to eat healthier, use my money wisely and not waste time.
currently reading up on childhood trauma, to get a handle on why certain things still unexpectedly trigger my emotional equilibrium. having had a mild breakdown after a family wedding, i resisted confiding in my SO and a revealing sentence came to me... "you are not my therapist. you do not have the patience, understanding or knowledge of my problem to be of help, and have caused more hurt in previous confessions of pain." i hope to expand this line of thought to some sort of satisfying and helpful conclusion in self-searching and by research into complex-PTSD.
I'd like to take more responsibility for my happiness, in the context of my relationships. Stating my needs, taking a leadership role to fulfil my needs... not getting distracted or afraid of honesty, courage or kindness.
I think next year will be about leveraging the momentum I've gotten from being on the right medication to finally get things done and do real work.
My answer has been the same every year forever. I’d like to improve my self-care, my time management, my journaling, my planning. The only advice I’d take is from Ryder Carroll, and that is to take time, not make time, because it’s just not possible to complete every pressing task in your life. You need to live, not worry.
I am trying to lose weight for my health and longevity. My son and my wife are my motivations to get healthy and more fit.
I want to develop better habits. I tried, this past year, and I'd gotten better about a lot of things. But then I fell off, and I'm back to my old ways. I need to start being better with these little self-care and day-to-day things.
By becoming a better leader and more effective manager at work. I need to change the mindset from becoming a doer to a manager if I'm to progress in my career.
Take Care of Yourself
"Take care of yourself." Sounds so simple, right? Not so much. Mom's "first things first" sounds easier but can have the same meaning. Relax more.
Hm...I would like to continue being mindful, and practicing ahimsa. Non-violence and compassion for all, including myself. I think also remembering that wisemind concept, that when I feel hurt or alone, I need to have compassion for myself and also realize it may not be about me.
Be patient with yourself, with your wife, with your children, with your pets, with your job, with EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. There is no rush and if there is a rush you'll get there or you won't, but getting upset about it, making other people upset about it, doesn't help anything or anyone.
You only have one fucking life. I need to take it by the balls and do the damn thing!
I'd like to continue to deepen my 12 step work, make a difference for my sponsee(s), and try not to be so hard on myself. As my therapist says, less on the "yet's" and "shoulds," and more on the positives. Learning more music would be good, too -- circle of 5ths, songwriting, piano technique. Overall, more music!
A specific piece of advice that I am lingering on came from Gretchen Rubin’s “Happier” podcast. It went: “One of the most terrible wastes of time is to do something well that we need not do at all.” It’s a really interesting subset of Voltaire’s advice “The Perfect is the enemy of the Good.” Not sure where this advice can take me, but I sure feel like I need it.
I will be able to feel centered, happy, joyful when I decide so.
I feel like I usually say health and body, which is still true and very relevant, but I think also productivity is an area I could grow in. Doing meaningful things, watching less TV, spending less time sitting in my room. Getting to work and getting things done, eating out less, spending less time scrolling through Instagram.
I hope I can learn to take more initiative. I've always been the passive type, waiting for someone to engage me or tell me what to do, scared of taking the first step for fear of some form of rejection. Also, write more.
Continue my focus on being happy with who I am.
I hope I am in better mental health! I hope I continue to be able to get care and am able to receive the support from my therapist and psychiatrist to get out of the muck that I've been in for the past several years. I hope to heal. My bigger hope is that this is the big one and it's the only one and it's the nadir and it's over. I know that's unlikely, so if that's true I'll tell depressed me again: It's ok, it's temporary, this SUCKS, and it will pass, but you have to keep talking, keep waking up, keep checking the one thing off the list (keep it to one!) and write. Write whatever. Write a laundry list, write a poem, write a gratitude journal even if it sucks. Try to put yourself on a plane. Find a world that can support you (i don't think it's tech) and keep on keeping on. Also, ask online for help because other people have good advice, remember? If nothing else, enjoy your couple months of Netflix watching. It will be over and you'll be back to it. I promise. (I'm just coming out of the haze now, so this is a semi-pep talk to myself)
I want to find a balance between service to others and slow living. I would like to think that the reason I work so much is because I want to make a difference but sometimes that can have a negative impact on other areas of my life. I want to make sure that my personal life is also taken care of. I am draw to minimalist, sustainable living. I want to enjoy my time at home, build a nest, eliminate the excess, and save money for the things that matter. I watched a short video on Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. I know that I need to focus more on giving than on receiving. Giving to my school, my students, my colleagues, as well as to my home, my spouse, my family and my friends.
I’ve never been the best at taking constructive criticism. Whenever people tell me that I have to work on this or improve that, I listen but never really do anything about it. I know what I need to improve on. That’s easy. But actually being able to improve what I need to is the hardest part. I have to be more social. I’m not that shy and I don’t want to be that kid that thinks he knows everybody bot doesn’t. I just want to connect with more kids at school before I go off to college and meet more kids there. It was pretty easy for me to make friends in my town even though I’m not really looked at as the same as everyone else. I’m not a townie thats why; but, it doesn’t matter to my friends and even though I’m teased for it, were all still friends. I thought I’d have a bunch of friends at Bc high but to be frank, I don’t. I have friends don’t get me wrong but I never really hang out with them as much as my friends from Charlestown. I should be hanging out with my Bc high friends more often than never because college is coming soon and there’s a chance I won’t ever see them again a year from now. I’m not sad about that. I’ve met some really great kids at my school but I don't really associate with a group. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I’m glad that I don’t; but, I wish I hung out with more kids. Maybe I don’t because I live farther away from everyone. I hope thats why I don’t. My mom is always telling me to branch out more and I have. Maybe I should branch out more but as a senior, its kind of tough. Four or six years have passed by and during those years, people have already known each other. Even before that time span because most live in neighboring towns of the south shore. I don’t. As someone that lived an hour drive, without traffic, from Bc High to moving to the city right before school, I didn’t know anyone. I was forced to meet the kids from Charlestown right before we started school and it helped me meet a few kids but a few isn’t that helpful. If I don’t find a deeper connection to some of my friends, its nothing to cry about. Ill be in college soon and it’ll be a nice clean slate. I wish myself the best of luck to meet new kids and I hope everything works out future self.
I need to work on being a better wife and friend to my husband. This past year and a half has brought about crazy life changes, but also physical/emotional/mental changes. For me mostly. He hasn't changed much, except that he's a dad now. Becoming a mom physically changes your brain. I worry more now. It's harder to be happy about everyday life things. I'm constantly thinking about what needs to get done, what isn't getting done, the never-ending to-do list in my brain. Insurance, dishes, bills, laundry, car things... on top of worrying about a child: is he eating enough; is he happy; is he eating the right type of foods, healthy foods; why is he cranky; is it bed time; am I doing bedtime too late; am I doing it all wrong; is he developing correctly, getting the right stimulation and learning to continue progressing; are we talking to him enough so he's learning words; should i be changing something about his sleep habits; when do i want to stop breastfeeding, cosleeping... it goes on and on. The mental energy needed to keep all of this up is exhausting and overwhelming and because of it, I neglect so many other things - which then just add to my list of things to do! But really, I'd like to learn how to balance it all with being a good wife and friend. Caring for my husband's needs. Practicing a bit more self-care so I can be happy. So I can relax. That's what it really is, I can't relax. I can't stop. I can't slow down. I'm not sure how to go about improving myself in this way. It's been over a year now and I'm not getting better at it. Maybe even getting worse. And now I have a real-world job. So add in everything about that. The commute, the responsibility, the doubt in confidence that I'm doing what I should be or doing a good enough job. Oy. I NEED to relax. I NEED to find a way to help myself. No one else can. Or will. And I'll ruin our relationship if I act differently. Stop nagging. Stop worrying. Stop being negative ALL THE TIME. I need to fix my brain. Stop my brain from the negative, worrying, nagging.. but how? Small daily changes change your life. I need to think about what small daily changes I can accomplish day in and day out so I can change my life.
I've made a list for myself of the three most important things in my life: 1) Family (and that includes family pets); 2) My horse; 3) Montana. I've written on a post-it and on my monitor. A need this daily reminder to help stave off all the negative and self-destructive impulses I have when it comes to my job. I hope being centered and mindful will help with depression.
To a great extent, I want to continue the work I identified last year. I want to be more fully myself. To be bolder in thoroughly being myself and in growing into the best version of myself. That is a self that is grounded and nurtured in Jewish ethics and traditions.
I want to pursue learning a slower more meditative style of yoga for myself and to teach others. Advice: to be a caretaker for others I need to care for myself.
I would like to be able to make the time and space for my art, as self care, but also as a way of expression, and connecting to others. I also want to manage my frustration or anger differently, even if there are situations in my life or the world that are enraging, be able to feel, let go and make space for other things.
I want to grow stronger from what has happened. I'm afraid that I will get "stronger" and "harder" confused though. I want to stop focusing so much on all the negative things that have happened. Biggest lesson learned...I will NEVER allow myself to be in this kind of situation again. Major lessons learned. About myself, about others, both good and bad. Again, I will never allow myself to be in the position I have been in the last year.
I would like to improve my ability to think through things without overthinking and over analyzing. Knowing when to stop myself before I get into a cycle and to be more rational without attaching all this emotional significance to things. Not reacting emotionally or letting my fears get in the way of being level-headed. I've been getting good advice when it comes to my over-analysis with dating Simcha. Rbzn Kahn and Rachel keep reminding me to slow down, enjoy the process, focus on getting to know him, and asking myself the questions of am I enjoying spending time with him? Is he someone I respect and can build with? It's hard, but it's helping me relax more and realize where I'm being too critical/why I'm being too critical in those areas.
"Keep your eyes in your own lane!!" Yes I'm guilty of investing most of my energy in other people and in helping them. This year I'd like to focus my energy very consciously-- improving my time and energy management skills to match my goals --- which really require me to invest most of my energy in myself and in things that I can control!!!
I really want to prioritize self care. I want to focus on caring for my body and my soul. I want to intentionally center myself in my life and deeply care for my well being. This has come up a lot this year as advice -- start with self care, build the rest around it. Also to trust in myself - things will come, I am capable - remembering that and bringing myself forward without overthinking and being self conscious.
Stay the course. My weight loss and muscle gain have been slow and steady. You can't change belief with fact. You can only do so much in a relationship. The other person has to be willing to change. All this I have taken to heart this year. I would like to continue to develop my friendships. I would like to do more arty things - crochet and dot painting and design. I would like to read more. I apply my spiritality to my everyday life in a more meaningful way. Use it as my everyday filter.
I am well aware that life is very short. I want to enjoy the everyday pleasures and victories that we often take for granted.
Continue to be even-keeled and measured at work and in personal stress situations. Energy Management, work-life balance and healthy routines will get you everywhere you need to go. more running, more in real life friends, more yoga, more self-care - it's a long game, this game of life.
Be gentle. You may be a rock and a force to be reckoned with. But you can still chip and therefore have some fragile parts.
I want to have created a few things with Python to the point where I feel comfortable building things, feel comfortable with SQL and Machine Learning. Be less needy and better at communicating, be more whole and less anxious but also able to communicate that I need connection and love when I don't feel it in a way I like it. Advice from the past year-- multiple Brainpickings posts on love and space.
I would like to keep improving myself both in daily life and at work--exploring my creativity, developing my team, making dinners, and spending more quality time with my daughter and my books and my tiny garden.
Last year I said that I wanted to continue with meditation and to try to get further away from self-referential thinking. In the past year I really strayed away from that and in the coming year I'd like to get back into it more seriously. Many of my answers from last year referred to how much my meditation practice was helping me, but I had forgotten how much I liked it. I would also like to start going to the gym regularly. I'm getting a membership again in November and I hope to go at least 3 times a week.
I want to start taking more initiative at work by advocating for continuing education. I need to be challenged to be fulfilled and I can feel the antipathy starting to creep in.
My goal is to remove the feelings of bitterness that I feel I have accumulated through the stress of the past through years - not by forgetting or erasing the truth of that time, but letting those experiences shape my understanding of myself and the world without dominating my emotional reality of the present.
I want to be self-disciplined and get organized. I want to waste less time on FB and TV and spend more on reading. I want to lose this excess weight and be more physical active. I want to reach out more often to family and friends. I know no tool will do any of these things for me, it has to come from within.
My word for this year is "presence." This is the year that I will focus on learning to be present. Less on the big goals and much more on the right now. It's almost all completely out of my control, except for right now. This moment. Now.
My creative side has really gotten neglected in recent years, and I want to change that. I'd like to begin song-writing again, and get decent at rhythm guitar. I'd like to improve my drawing and art skills. And I would really like to finish my scifi novel from years ago. I've been reading fantasy lately, and it's not really all that good. I think the best advice as far as creative projects go is: perfect is the enemy of the good. Also, a finished project is the best project.
"See the thought: if it's helpful, engage it; if it's unhelpful, let it go. In this way we have a choice" (from headspace, on mindful eating, but applicable to most of life) Recall John Williams' Butcher's Crossing, in all its deep, wild drama. Revisit your book journal in general - is it still going? Approach everything as a beginner would. "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" (Kierkegaard) You get what you get and you don't get upset (Good Girls, TV show)
There are big changes coming in the coming year... new career, new home ownership, and hopefully a baby(??) I have just stopped my antidepressants and hope to get off the anxiety meds as well before getting pregnant. I will be starting a new career and hoping to manage my mental health through exercise and therapy, without needing medication. I want to get in shape and start eating healthier, along with my husband. Wish me luck for a huge year of personal change!
I want to improve myself by becoming more self-aware and confident over the next year. I’m barely three months into this good mental health journey I began in July and I believe I have in some ways made great strides. But I still have a tendency to isolate, I have made zero progress on establishing my own local support network, and I am still not great with self-care, and far too likely to self-indulge instead in ways that make me feel poorly about myself. So, I want to improve on those things. I want to be able to understand the workings of my own mind better so that I can head off the irrational stuff more easily with the hope that will also help me feel more comfortable in my own skin as I get to know myself better. I have finally started to stop kicking my own ass all the time. I have even started to recognize/remember things about myself that I like and value. I have gotten better at identifying my true strengths and weaknesses and improved on confusing the latter for the former. All of that has been a confidence boost but there is still a lot of doubt in my head about whether or not people want to know me, hang out with me….love me, really. I want to make headway on that. I want to add good friends and interesting experiences to my life. Life already has begun to seem like less of a drudge and a chore. I want to continue in that direction of thriving rather than merely surviving.
I want my own place. I want to gain confidence and feel like I'm finally free to do what I want to do and when I want to do it, out from the shadow of other people's timescales or routines. I want space of my own where I can be alone if I want or invite people round if I want. I want to take more risks and be able to adapt to what happens without falling apart so easily. I think my own counsel is probably what I need to listen to: You know what happens if you do nothing, but you don't know what happens if you make a change....
More than anything, I'd like to settle down in the next year and simply appreciate everything I've got, the hard work I've done, and the life I've built for myself. My hairdresser, Beth, suggested today that yoga really helped her with that. I love that idea!
I would like to be less stuck in my head, especially when I am alone. I want to develop more in the skills I started last year. My boss said to me "mediocre doesn't suit you", and now I want to live that.
Set boundaries that serve me --- allow myself to sometimes put myself first and say no sometimes.
I want to continue to learn about and lean into my own power in building belonging for myself and other people.
Same as last year - behave more like a male executive. I'm an expert; act like it (meaning, act like any /guy/ expert would)!
you are worthy. you are worthy to achieve your goals. you are worthy to have the life you want. you are worthy to be happy and at peace and thriving. you are worthy.
I would like to not lose my bearing with my family (really anyone) it is selfish and counterproductive. It harms the trust that you need to build for the tough times.
By giving back more
"You can't talk your way out of a situation that your actions got you into." I've been taking soft skills training classes this week and it's a real eye-opener. I was indeed a terrible employee. I deserved to be let go. That's not negative self-talk. That's just a fact. When the courses talk about all the ways you can be doing things wrong, I was doing nearly all of them. My productivity, trustworthiness, responsibility, teamwork, writing, verbal communication... just everything. And that means I have tons of room to improve on. I've learned so much already. Now the trick is to put it into practice.
I would be like to be able to lose 10-40 pounds. I looked well when I was 145 before pregnancy. Doctor just keeps testing my blood for diabetes and it's getting old giving blood every three months when still below limit. I have been "technically obese" most of my life, but was more toned at 145. still need to improve where items are in house.
Continue to avoid habits that distract me from me: how I'm feeling, what I'm wanting, who I am, and also from better uses of my time. Continue to work on treating myself better: as someone who is loved and deserving of love.
Do what's right for you. Need to get better at that.
I'd like to be fitter and more active - this year has been about healing old old calf injuries and back strain (a rollover from last year). I want to be able to continue to climb the hills and mountains, spend time snorkeling and swimming and kayaking. Do something everyday. And as my gran always said, you have to keep moving 🙂
I will continue on my healthy eating lifestyle. I want to be under 200 lbs by my 60th BD. Death Ride is in July, so I want to be in great shape to take that on by June. I suspect I will have a new job and be able to handle the stress of that with a new freedom I did not have with my previous jobs.
Trust that you belong with other people. Trust that you need them, and they really need you. Let go of your idea of goodness and instead learn to receive what is good from every person.
Honestly I hope I become a lot more mature l, and I think I will after moving out and working full time. I will always remember to truly be myself and not force myself into constraints that I am uncomfortable with. Also! always work on your communication with everyone in your life.
Trying to live more in the moment and less worried about the implications and fall out. Because I think it I were more in the moment, there might be fewer implications and less fall out!
I would like to listen and ask questions with curiosity rather than judgment. Let things breathe. Remember the emptiness and potential in everything.
Be gentle. I want to be able to see myself be kinder to me and my loved ones, specially with my husband. I have so many expectations that is hard to keep me grounded in the pure joy of having someone to share my life with.
I think my physical fitness and healthier lifestyle goal still stands. I've certainly lost the baby weight but I'm struggling with my back and making bad food choices as a pick me up too often. I need to work out a routine that suits me so I don't feel like I'm taking too much time out of my day.
To improve life—always remember to take my medication! Stick to my budget. Quit time-wasting social media websites. Assert myself. Don’t give everything away. Keep some energy for my self.
Yes.... and... Yes I am a survivor of domestic violence... AND I hold boundaries and create safety every day. Yes I have PTSD from the emotional and physical abuse.....AND I am able to practice self-care and regulate my emotional state. Yes...... and..... is a way of re-framing that I am using to reorient myself to joy and gratitude. Next year I want more joy.
My personal and life goals seem to be pretty much the same from year to year: be a better person, make the world a better place. Right now I’m really working with the idea of “be the change you want to see in the world”, and trying to role model living in warm and connected family and community relationships while caring about my fellow humans and our planet, and speaking my own truths in whatever art form resonates in the moment. I am still trying to value and prioritize balancing other-care and self-care, along with slowing down and doing less but making what I do more thoughtful and meaningful.
“Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.” ― Leo Tolstoy
I want to take more risks and out myself out their more. I want to improve my communication with other people and begin to share my opinions openly. I've been told that I have a lot to offer to others and that other see me as an unstoppable force. I am going to walk in that boldly and believe it.
I'm one-million percent an overthinker. Which is great for my job. Not so great with a new relationship! I've really appreciated my friends who don't indulge me in my overthinking rampages, and remind me to "live in the now".
Forgive myself. Husband my resources. Go to sleep as soon as my energy wanes -- try again the next day. Seek answers for the exhaustion.
I want to put more focus, emphasis, and energy towards fostering a thriving spiritual life and healthy relationships (friend, family, partnership, self)
I want to practice saying thank you instead of please, thank you means I know deserve good things and that they will happen versus coming from a position of scarcity.
I would like to be a better leader. The advise I read: Radical Candor.
I would like to find a healthier place with food and my body image. I want to be able to feel that I can accept my body the way that it is -- not love it -- just accept it without resentment or disgust. I remember what my sister said, "when you die, no one is going to talk about what they remember about your body."
I want (NEED!) to be brave and go to the dentist to start getting my teeth fixed. That's probably my number one goal/priority. I need to relax more (mentally) I Can Do This By... *Stop being so on edge. *Chill and 'go with the flow' more often. *Control my temper and not breakdown so easily and as often as I have been. DE-CLUTTER & ORGANISE all of my belongings - My stuff. My way.
I want to lose weight and get more movement in daily. I am so stiff and inflexible when it comes to my body. I want to move more freely and enjoy movement again. My only advice is to keep going.
Amen to last two years answer- but this years goal is to continue to be valued at work without working overtime
I want to change my relationship with anxiety. I want to really be able to accept anxiety and then just let it wash over me. I want to stop trying to fight it because I know deep down that just makes it worse. The advice I have is that this too shall pass, everything is temporary, and when I’m able to accept anxiety and ride out the wave, I will be able to live with it. Anxiety lives in resistance and my goal for the next year is to try and stop resisting.
I want to improve both my Jewish teaching and leadership skills I've been working on my Hebrew. I want to continue Hebrew plus improve both Aramaic and other Talmud text skills. I need to find formal training and mentoring in Jewish leadership (especially small groups and program development) I still also want to find a way to network with peers/mentors
I'm still sort of unemployed, and the advice I got on that recently in a moment of panic is that I have my whole life to do a thing, or to work. Any given phase, in the scheme of things, is so tiny. Take it for what it is and appreciate. That has been my guide in unemployment. I have not regretted quitting without my plan sorted out. I got to go to DC, I got to work on me, I got to connect with friends in this downtime and really reflect. So I would like to take this whole last month and let it guide how I perceive things in the future. And continue to just let things be. To accept. I have grown the most when I accept my situation and control what I can-- how I manage my feelings around a thing or event.
Every year I write “get movin’,” and every year I don’t do it. I think of Donald Hall in physical therapy at 83 because he didn’t “get movin’” at 73. I seem headed for the same. I know it will greatly affect the quality of the rest of my life. No one to blame or hold accountable but moi. Sigh. I want to find a way to capitalize on my best days, the days when I feel energized, creative, voraciously curious, like I could devour the world. I think of something one of Jonathan Foer’s characters says in Here I Am: “Life is precious, and I live in this world.” How to partake in the richness of living while tending to the daily stuff of just getting on? At my age, energy and endurance are factors. But my mind and spirit are as hungry as ever.
I would like to be a better person, overall. My 20s were not defined by the greatest of social deeds, especially in my interactions with other people. I abused my place as a man in this world, and hope to remedy this in the best way I can. Whether that means continuing to drive myself farther from the populous (which is what I'm doing now) or more fully engaging with the community and seeking to actively repair damaged relationships and my soul in the process, I don't know. But it has to be done.
The biggest piece of advice that I have experienced for myself is that I need to trust my gut. I want to listen to my body more and improve my mental health.
Best piece of advice is take each day one day at a time! I’d like to continue doing this and continue going down the path of enjoying life and doing what makes me happy and feels good.
Why do I always think about how clean my house is? I'm not even putting that here again. The advice I received recently that you should find something that you can make plans for the future and be happy with what you're doing today and feel engaged in what you're doing and excited about what you will do - that's what I'd like to aim at for next year.
I would like to treat myself better, focus more on enjoyment and entitlement to joy. The Epicurus book helped me realize pleasure is important.
I read a quote the other day which said “be productive, not busy”. I would like to be better at that. I feel like being busy is burning me out and if I could be a bit more organised and less distracted, it would help.
I would like to improve myself by being open to different people and things. I do not want to seem unapproachable because that why I am missing out on a lot of cool people and experiences.
My intention for the next year is to find conviction in my self-worth in my romantic and professional relationships. The mantra I will use is "I deserve to be loved/valued exactly the way I imagine." This was a mantra I discovered during a daylong retreat with Jack Kornfield when he led us through a visualization.
I would like to continue to grow more spiritually, to see where the universe wants to best use me. I want solidify what I've learned into daily practice, so that it becomes so engrained in me that it's unshakeable. I am at the point where the rubber meets the road now - I have the clay pot formed, I just need to fire it in the kiln so it takes permanent shape and doesn't crumble on the shelf.
I mostly just want to trust my own head and be happy with myself. That’s all. If I can feel comfortable with who I am and how I respond to and interact with the world, I don’t think I need a single other thing.
I would like to make some final decisions about what/where I am going career/school wise and then have made some action towards that goal. Yes, I actually have heard a lot of counsel from Rabbi and lay person and in reading about focusing on your Divine Mission and the rest of life will be taken care of if you follow this path...also actually got a Jewish Astrology reading that said that Religious Transcendance is the main focus in my chart and my life work!...this resonates with me and I am moving towards this goal.
I have spent a lot of 2019 working on myself and who I am and who I want to be. I have learnt that setting boundaries is OK! We need them to move forward and be healthy in body and in mind. For 2020 I would like to connote with my mindful practice and to be more mindful of how I am feeling and to be more mindful of others. People - everyone has a story and their experiences are unique to them. If we could all be more mindful of others I feel that would naturally lead us to be more compassionate and enjoy life better. I would also like to practice patience and not get so caught up in wanting everything right way.
No one ever gives me advice; I wish someone would. I would like to improve my living situation and my health.
Hmm. My life is already good. We're eating less meat. I still eat a lot of salty snacks, but they bring me so much joy I'm not sure I really want to cut down. I do wish I was happier at work. It's an old refrain, isn't it? I have been thinking more seriously about going freelance or quitting my job at Torchbox and getting a job at the Government Digital Service or Conversion Rate Experts. I've had a tough week at work. I was really miserable on Tuesday and Wednesday. This quite often happens when I've got client meetings or training sessions coming up. I would like to feel like I do every Monday. I've been working a 4-day week since the beginning of June, taking Mondays off work at Torchbox to focus on my freelance projects and, occasionally, catch up on life admin. It's so good realizing on Saturday and Sunday evenings that I'm not going back to work on Monday, that Monday is mine again. I highly recommend this to anyone, if you can afford it. I can't afford not to do it now. It's been brilliant. I'd like to continue stripping away the unnecessary, the glum-making, the wasteful of time and money and energy. I want to live simply and wholly. I don't want things hanging over me. I want to strip back, declutter (my mind and my possessions). I'm not really thinking of a specific piece of advice. I've absorbed a lot of ideas about how to live. I read a book about freelancing by a former colleague at Torchbox, Steve Jalim. I'd like to stop some habits that aren't helpful or useful. But some of these make me who I am. Do I want to get rid of that?
I'd like to be more balanced, and have more time for me and friends. I'd like to make friends. I need to tell myself that it's important to make the effort.
I must continue to work on my health - if there is one thing this medical event has taught me it is that I can do absolutely nothing else if my physical well being is too compromised. So I want to do my pt and recovery, then get back to working out with weights and dancing and acroyoga in a careful but fun way, and then find the right place so that we can get back to the joy of scuba. I would tell myself to take it as slowly as you need to to be safe, while being as fast as that safety allows. :)
I don’t have a specific thing I want to improve in myself or my life in the next year, I have a longer term goal of changing my relationship to work and changing the definition of what work looks like in ways that make room for more travel, more outside time during daylight hours, more naps, more “yes”. I like the opportunity I have to use this moment, when my life feels really good and fulfilling, to plan and dream for what’s next. The best piece of advice I’ve gotten came from a school project a friend’s kid did on Barbara Hillary, who at 75 became the first black woman to ski the North Pole: ”Wouldn't it be better to die doing something interesting than to drop dead in an office and the last thing you see is someone you don't like?“ I think this is a good guidepost for where I want to go!
Counsel: "I can make a plan for any situation." (From Donna Arendshorst, about driving after my car was totalled.) Things that help me: meditation. "Embrace the fear" (which makes me smile, and then do the thing I'm afraid to do. With a less-afraid attitude.) STILL - and even more - work on how I communicate with other people, and not making them feel bad because I'm belittling them or their work or their attitude or their anything. That has been SUCH a challenge for me. It is something I *MUST* improve on. Not just for my job, but for being a decent human being.
It'd be nice to have a healthier lifestyle over this next year. I realize that means eating out less, cooking more. I've done that in starts and stops, but I'd like to incorporate lasting new habits into my life around eating. The best advice I received this past year was to listen to my body because the body is actually smarter than the mind. My mind thinks it knows what I need; my body actually knows what I need. When I only eat junk for most of the week, I feel my body screaming for a salad. When I am forcing myself to stay somewhere out of FOMO, I can feel my body urging me to take time to myself. When I am emotionally distraught, I often feel knots within my stomach. I need to get better at listening to my body - about what to eat, about where to spend my time, about what's going on internally.
Similar to the previous question - more confidence in myself and the ability to connect more with people, emotionally and sexually. I'm starting down that path but it will take time.
I think I have to focus more on my work, and stay committed to it. Every day I should set my intentions anew towards this goal. But the advice I will give myself is not to beat myself up, put myself down, or strive for perfection. Every day I should do a sort of Viddui where I seek and offer forgiveness for all the mistakes that I and everyone else makes every day.
I think I've come to the place where I accept that there will be ups and downs in all aspects of life -- my relationship to my work, how clean we keep the house, how much I'm exercising, how well I'm eating, how much time I spend on screens. I know what is healthiest for me in all regards, but I find that I simply can't be my best self in all areas all the time. But maybe I can just strive to be a little bit better in each area a little more often?
Well I still feel the same as last year, wanting to figure out a way to operate my life with less stress. I've made some advances but have neglected some things that worked well like meditation. As far as advice, I created my own mantra while at the silent disco in Venice Beach that I frequent weekly. It's a great form of self-care. Been dancing a lot recently. And this thought came to me "Live like you're dancing!" To me that means being flexible, going with the rhythms. Being reactive but in a positive way not oppositional to what is going on around me. A reminder to find my groove in any situation. I love this idea and hope I can really embrace it. I am still working on being gentle with myself and forgiving myself.
I want to continue on self compassion and integrate some healthy habits and productivity habits to really feel like I have a handle on my life and I am living it aligned to my values and with goals in mind. The piece of advice was in the self compassion book and the Brenee Brown resilience book that talks about self compassion as the root of feeling unconditionally worthy of love and happiness. I want to believe that to my core and help those I love feel it as well. I have made strides but have a long way to go.
I'd mostly like to keep going on the track I'm on. Honestly, I should have did this last year. That's been the most dramatic change. At this point I've had too much good luck. There's probably gonna be a Depression if I don't quit rolling 5's and 6's.
I want to gossip less. And complain less. And feel sorry for myself less. I want to compare myself to others less. And (seriously) stop worrying what other people think of me. I've always felt happiest when I was marching and dancing to the beat of my own drummer.
I would like to change my life to be freer. At the moment I work from 8-5.30 and feel ‘trapped’ in this routine, I would like to change this to lead a life that I don’t feel I need a break from.
Two things, both stemming from James (even though that relationship didn't work out, I did learn a few lessons from him). One, I'd like to work on my personal finance, learn how to save money and reduce spending. Even though it seems like I'm making a lot of money, since I live in the Bay Area, most of it gets sucked up by student loans and rent. I need to make sure my money continues to grow. The second thing I'd like to continue to work on is finding meaningful friendships in the area. As I've said in other answers, it has been a struggle to find friends after moving across the country, but I need to continue to work at it and to not lose hope. In the process, I need to work on improving myself as a person. Learn to be a more positive and pleasant person to be around, and learn to be happy with who I am.
To continue to work on my interests and hobbies outside of work. More specifically I want to explore the possibility of living a life more in line with effective altruism, a movement which was introduced to me through listening to Peter singer. This may mean donating a % of my income to charities deemed to be able to use these dollars effectively.
The time is ticking and use that productively. Do more what makes You happy, I think. I want to do it more and more.
My lifestyle has changed a lot since my recent move to Ireland. I'm walking even more than when I lived in DC and I'm eating better. Even with the rain, I'm enjoying the fact that I can spend time outdoors every day and not be cooped up. I hope that I am able to keep up many of these improvements once I'm back stateside.
Last night, my uncle told me: “pessimism is not a redeeming quality.” It burned a little to hear, but it’s true. How do I turn around my life—which is admittedly not that bad at all? It has to start, at the very least, with an attitude adjustment. And looking back, I’m struck by how much last year’s goals still hold: Exercise every week. Meditate almost every day. Take your vitamins (well, maybe not this one). Drink more water.
I need medical help, so hopefully that will work out. I hope to be able to extend my mobility and not be permanently disabled. I'll take my own advice of focusing on my family first and foremost. MY family. And better release and heal from the toxic people in my life, including those I used to consider family.
I must remember to take the time to connect with each of my family members. That is what they will remember of me. Also, smile more. My daughter asks me why I never smile.
do less, do it well. always do your best. is it kind, useful, necessary? grow professional skills
Counsel: Avoid avoiding. That speaks to many, many things in my life and it's super advice.
I'd like to be more grateful and in awe of my life. Thinking of the gratitude and love that I felt in K, really connecting with that energy. I want to be less cynical, bitter and smart and more grateful and full of wonder.
The best advice I received this year was: Invest in yourself. No time is ever wasted when you take the right actions to better yourself. I want to learn to play the keyboard and share my love for singing to the internet. Maybe even take hip hop classes finally! I want to have an even more refined schedule and find the balance between the non profits I'm involved in and my job + hobbies/social life.
I would like to develop myself as a RN and become competent and assertive, especially with delegation to people who may be older than me with more experience, but who are employed to assist me as a nurse. I feel so awkward about it and my natural instinct is the let people do their own thing and trust them as fellow adults. But after a difficult group project experience, my friend Kate taught me a very useful phrase: "Trust, but verify."
I would like to spend more time doing artistic things. I would like to get some writing done.
I want to focus on my sexuality this year and rekindle the intimacy with my husband after giving birth.
I want to become stronger mentally I want to learn new techniques to keep myself in a healthy place and I want to be in a healthy place so I can keep myself accountable to my new techniques. I have started some accountability with my activity and sleep tracker in the hopes that I will improve my energy levels. For now I am accountable to that at least.
1. Still bedtime. Let's see if we can hit 1230 AM bedtime three days in a row in the next 2 weeks, then set out to make it a habit. 2. Organize more social activities. The writer's group was great, and that'll continue. More like that. I did GISH. I now volunteer with Young Storytellers, which has been fantastic. I've been quite good about writing -- need to figure out solo writing days now.
I want to push myself further out of my sociological comfort zone. I want to build meaningful relationships with people who are actually different from me. I want to prioritize issues that don't affect me personally. I want to participate in activism in ways that aren't just performative. I want to stay true to my beliefs and values and principles even when it gets hard.
Be better every day, be committed every day and stop half assing.
Before she died, my mother told me she wished she could have protected me from my father when I was young. She recognized that this made me a needy child, because I'd been left to fend for myself, and she wished it had been otherwise. Her words released me, though they couldn't break a lifetime of emotional habits. But now I'm seeing more clearly how the choices I've made have been in reaction to that neediness in myself. I'd like to slough off the consequences of these decisions, whether that means changing my job, or letting some friends go, or changing the amount of power I give to other people. I've overcome so much in my life. I'm a survivor rather than a victim. I'd like to be able to hold onto that as the spine of my narrative.
I wish my body would get better. My arthritis has a terrible reaction to stress. I want to be lighthearted more often than not. The advice I can think of at the moment is... You don’t owe these Motherfuckers anything. As well as... If you can be anything in this world, Be Kind!
I think it's essentially always the same. Be true to what you want and are. Which is really hard, because it means that you have to be superaware of what it is that is you and what you think/project you are? If that makes sense? So I think that's where I'm at, trying to stay true to me and continue listening to myself and being aware of how I feel.
I'm learning to take action and not procrastinate. I've alot to do and share and its time to do so. My new wife had helped me define many things in the last year and I attribute allot of my motivation to her. Thank you Hélène.
I feel like I'm slowly beginning to dig myself out of the hole created by my overwhelming volunteer commitments last year. It's been really crushing at times. Being freed from commitments at both schools is actually kind of great! I feel like I've done my time, and the torch is passed to newer shiny faces. In addition to focusing on my career more, I'd like to devote more time to the 2020 elections. I want to do things that make ME happy.
"You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness" -Brene Brown. God, I hope that one day I can thank this woman for what she taught me. Everything I know about vulnerability, connection, joy, and gratitude (regarding how to assess and interpret relationships with my family and friends) is because of her. It feels so empowering to prioritize myself and my needs and not constantly work to improve how others (especially professors, career mentors, and people in power) see me. Next year, I want to be brave more. I want to take more emotional risks where I don't know what the outcome will be, because that is how I grow and become a more happy and resilient person. Without vulnerability, there is no growth, no creativity, no love, no joy. And why would I ever want to live like that?
Be more open. I saw someone online say to stop breaking yourself into pure-size pieces; be your whole self and those who don’t like it can choke on it. I need to be my whole self in more parts of my life.
Mental health is as important as physical health. I would like to try to continue to work on my physical and mental well-being, even though I know that I will probably never be really healthy, I want to live the best life I can and most importantly enjoy it. I don't just want to live, I want to experience things and create memories and simply be happy about everything I have experienced and will experience.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, or even pay an expert for it. What's better? Struggling on your own and wondering “what if,” or getting help and forcing yourself to commit? Remember that taking care of yourself IS productive. It also provides you with the resources you need to do good work and take care of others.
The themes right now feel so ... obvious. At the beginning of this year, I felt like for every year until I died, I would want to cook more and exercise more, to read more and write more. And those feel true again today. Writing and finding some form of activism that works for me, these feel like the things I want to focus on in the coming year. The second one feels harder, and easier to let slip through the cracks-- it's going to take actual research and effort on my part. I need to take some sort of first step.
I am always always always improving in accepting myself and my flaws and working on those flaws - especially organization but also, ah, steady employment and self-fulfillment. I have made great progress on these issues this past year, particularly in intensive therapy. I am so glad that I've begun to journal more regularly and can literally turn to a page in my journal on "why I like myself" and "what my depression looks like" and things like that -- that I've become more self-aware as a result of not being self-aware enough to know my own depression and state of mind.
I'm learning about the spontaneous arising of compassion/open heartedness thing. I think it really is about unlearning and then reassessing if my narratives work for the road ahead.
For most of my adult life I have put a ton of energy into improving myself. The desire to change was rooted in perfectionist tendencies and a foundation thought that I needed fixing. I got help improving myself with spiritual/self-help books, religion, counsel from others, and a transformational training program. I am so so grateful for this desire for self improvement that fueled me for so many years. I'm grateful also for the tools that helped me along the way. I think I will always be a seeker and want to be my best self. But there is a downside to always trying to improve. I am extremely hard on myself and don't recognize what's been accomplished and what I am doing well. I have a hard time submitting work that is not "perfect". What I'd like to be different now is to love myself as I am. I want to let go of the striving and the ego based desire for improvement. I want to be excepting of what's working and what's not. I want to love myself in the midst of all my complexities and lack of improvement and imperfection. I want to live authentically. I listened to a RobCast (Rob Bell) with Pete Rollins yesterday that got me thinking about how I want to be ok with the contradictions in life, the grey, the unresolved, the imperfect. Even in those contradictions God, sacredness, perfection, holiness, goodness is there. I want to see that in myself and others and choose to love myself and others anyways.
I am human. I will likely never be able to hear that piece of advice enough. With being human comes an understanding that we ALL will make mistakes, both large and small, that will impact us either in the moment or for forever. We just need to learn how to accept what has happened and figure out how we can continue to live our lives in the best way possible.
Invest in stewarding well, finances, body etc Let your priorities be your priorities
I would like to be earning a bit more money so that we can really start saving for a house. I am hoping to get qualified which will help with this and ease our stresses over money a bit
I would like to slow down. Think more before acting. Be more conscious of actions. Im getting better at it, but have A WAYS TO GO.
Take more responsibility for my actions and become more deliberate in what I to/associate myself with.
I'm looking back on my answer from last year - that I want to continue to grow myself as a human being - and I'm drawn to the word BEING. I want to do more BEING. Being with my son. Being with my husband. Being with myself. Being with friends and family. Being in nature. Being the person who I am called to be. From the podcast Mother like a Boss - give yourself grace for the season you're in but don't let your life become this season. (We had a crazy season with house buying and I was not being who I want to be and now that's over I can grow/change/be.)
Process my emotions and my activities. Be present. Stop worrying about things I can't control and always be in a self improvement, self actualizing process. I would like to have a better relationship with my paid job. Either a new job at a new company or an improved position with my current employer.
I plan to continue eating to manage my diabetes better, without relying on medication. I have to find my own reason/motivation...there are no easy answers.
My wife and I have joined a local CrossFit gym where my brother-in-law is a coach. Regularly attending classes in the year ahead would build discipline and determination, not to mention stamina and muscle. To quote another coach’s favorite saying from Marcus Aurelius, “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength, and we get closer to that strength through training and practice.”
When I attended the NASP conference with my mom, several people questioned me why I wasn’t already a school psychologist. And it also made me question why I wasn't making more money and realized that school psychology could be a way for me to achieve that goal. So I’m pursuing that credential and higher degree.
I need to be going to therapy in the next year. To work on a variety of things, but my issues with food, self-esteem, commitment. It's OK to ask for help and it's OK not to have to do everything alone. This is advice I always give to others and need to take for myself as well.
I want to be more proactive in completing the work I need done, even when things around me come crashing down. That is the reality of the world and I need to find adaptive coping skills that allow me to avoid shutting down because I’m totally overwhelmed. I know that there are skills that will work if practiced, and I’m able to develop those if I’m open to it. I need to be open and try, because I can do it and I can change the way things go. I don’t have to repeat how the last couple years of school have gone, I can change the way I get my work done and cope with life events. I’m already in a slightly different place than before, even if I don’t admit to it openly.
I really just want to focus my energy on coming from a place of love rather than fear. I now realize that so much of my life for the past 20 (30? all of them?) years has been driven by fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of abandonment. Fear of disappointment. And yet, there is so much love in the world. Love that I appreciate and treasure and feel like I am moving towards. Yet, in many cases I am only moving towards it by default because I am running away from something else. Just because I see something in the distance and am moving towards it does not mean it is my goal, if all I am doing is running away from something that is in the opposite direction. I need to forget about what is behind me and truly focus on moving TOWARDS the light and the love. Otherwise, when I block out the fear, I also risk losing sight of the love and just ending up with apathy. Fear and love Sometimes people tend to mix it up Tell me, which side are you standing on? You can complicate it all you want But in the end it's only fear and love
I want to better understand what kind of person I should be surrounding myself with, and what kind of partner I need. I want to make more art. I want more balance. “I would never last on land.” -Joe Iconis, “Last On Land”
I would like to have started some kind of regular exercise program...oy, this was the same answer as last year. I can't seem to find something that I like. Although I eat well, my body needs movement. I take my body for granted, and now at 57, I can't afford to do that any longer. Mom died at 58, and I plan to live many, many years past that. If I want to live to a ripe old age, I need to exercise.
Give less of a shit about shitty people and their uninformed shitty opinions. Have healthier relationships. Be less codependent. Be myself.
Honestly, the answer is that I'm already enough. If I choose to make some changes that serve me, then right on. But here's a little note from 2019 to 2020 Vanessa: you're already there. You already know who you are. You are already magical and sparkly and inspired and creative and imperfect and wildly-thriving and fighting for what you want. You're enough.
Incorporate rest and Sabbath rhythms daily, weekly, yearly. I know by carving time for such will enhance what the outcome will be. Not just do but be. Stillness is such beautiful thing.
We were asked to think about this during Yom Kippur, and I think what I’ve decided is that I’d like to be happy. I mean, content. I looked around recently and decided I wasn’t happy, that I feel like I’ve sacrificed the opportunity to be and do anything exciting or special and I was starting to feel resentful. But then I realized, if I had forgone a family and instead chased a career or adventure or whatever, I would probably be sad and have regret about not having a family. So maybe I can just understand that we are always sacrificing something for the life we have and maybe even reframe it as making choices about which parts of life to pursue, and then lean into those and be grateful for them rather than being wistful about all the things I didn’t choose. So that’s it. I’m going to work on being content, happy, at peace with this truly beautiful life I’ve chosen and built.
Apply hard, and act like you already have the job if it is the job that you want.
I am going to go see a neurologist so that I can get to the bottom of these strange symptoms that I've had for 3+ years.
Take care of yourself first, then the rest. Whether this is yoga, or writing, or art -- or simply getting sleep and eating greens. Take care of yourself first. Try to be less stressed, less anxious. Don't beat yourself up. You are okay. It is okay.
I'd like to keep focused every day on faith. Faith in divine guidance, in the power of trusting life to deliver what we need and want. And sticking with 'support and ask,' meaning give to others, and also receive fully what they give to you. Receiving more actively, confidently, and with greater trust in the process seems like a good thing to lean into this year. I like Edwene's spiritual prosperity ideas, and would like to follow all of them, from tithing to goal-setting and more. They seem to bring great results.
I recently bought a box of Yogi tea: superantioxidant green tea. Each bag has a little snippet of advice on the tag, and the one I got last week said "Let your heart speak to others' hearts." It helps me to reset my idea of what writing is about. It allows me to be more vulnerable, more questioning. I hope that by listening to this advice I can set aside the worries about who might say mean things about my writing on Twitter and to focus, instead, on whose heart I might reach, and what that might do for both of our hearts and for the world. It sounds corny as I'm writing it now, but I think sometimes my writing becomes about performing perfection, whereas instead it could perform openness. The other piece of advice, related, is to "Let it be easy." Continue to structure my days and my life to reinforce the behavior that I want to be doing: writing, reading, loving, eating healthfully, getting movement in my day, taking time for play.
I would like to feel more self assured and to know that I'm OK. I know I have the best love, which is really all I need. I know, I need money, and I need sun, and I love to see trees in the wind from the window. But the love, that's priceless. Anyway, I would also like to love me and accept me more.
I would like to work on my communication skills in personal relationships. I would like to clarify what it is that I want to people in my life, without worrying too much about their views of it. Also just accepting what it is that will ultimately serve me best, even when it's a hard decision. All of this is with a lot of self love and compassion. I am a beginner on this path, and I am learning.
My mom, when I asked her what was one piece of advice she'd like us to carry with us, told me to, "Appreciate the small moments. They don't last." In essence, be present. The little things in life are most of what life is about. And time is not a renewable resource. That job that you want so bad? What does it mean really?
I would like to be a more effective advocate and ally. There is so much social justice work to be done, and it can happen in small ways every day. I tend to shy away from conversations that seem like they will become confrontational, but I want to be kind, knowledgeable, and courageous enough to bring people in to difficult conversations. I am hopeful that the workshop series about racial justice I am participating in will help me improve at this.
I basically answered this in the last question, but I would really really like to make some health improvements this year. This is not a euphemism for losing weight, or being skinnier. I would like to sleep better, develop a workout routine I can stick to, get rid of unrealistic, unhealthy and counterproductive expectations for myself, which frequently make me depressed and less likely to do the things I know can and will make me feel better. A great piece of (unrelated) (sort of!) advice I got this year (and I've gotten it before, and it's not really advice, but it's for when I start comparing myself to other people, which is a huge source of unhappiness for me) is: If you were there, you wouldn't be you. I want to remember that the person I already am is worthy of love, not just from the world around me, but also from myself.
I am anticipating that I may get a new job as a PM, but in a worst case scenario, I'll stay in my current job that I really enjoy. I would like to improve my work self by being more humble and slowing down and being more careful and deliberate with my work, follow though on details and finishing tasks to fully close them out instead of taking a "good enough" approach. Next spring I have a trip planned to go back to Spain and walk a new section of the Camino de Santiago. This will be a very different journey from before. I'm not at as obvious a transition time as last time I went, I have a shorter period of time, and the route that I'm planning is not as well traveled, plus I'm going during a quiet season. So I feel like I'm going to have some very different challenges. I'd like to challenge myself to do more spiritual preparation before and during the journey. I don't exactly know the questions that I have, but I have felt the pull again like the time before.
From the Central Synagogue website, via my mother's facebook: "There is a Jewish story that suggests that each of us should walk around with two pieces of paper in our pockets. The first says, I am but dust and ashes and the second says, for my sake the world was created. The High Holy Days are our time to balance both of these ideas, by understanding both our own fragility and mortality in the universe, and our great power to ensure that the world does not look the same in the coming year as it does today." I need to take better care of myself, so that I can do my best in making the world a better place than it was earlier. Obviously mental health fluctuates, but I would like to better prepare myself for when I have bad days. Preemptive self-care, if you will. I want to eat less processed foods (for me), try to eat more locally sourced food (for the environment), move my body more (more swimming and yoga and maybe kickball?), do more regular self-reflection, try to align my actions with my values (volunteer and protest more, but also go to temple more), and above all, be gentle to myself when I don't get as much done as I was "supposed to". Sometimes doing your best means going to bed early so you're rejuvenated to try again the next day.
I'd love to be able to obsess/ perseverate less about things...particularly those beyond my control, but even if I do something dumb in public or mess up at wherever my work will eventually be, staying up all night avoiding or focusing wont help. The staying up all night thing in general could be improved. Advice to put my phone in a different room that me at all times would help!
Give it up to God, all the worries and things that I let upset me. Dig into His word. I have a life ahead of me, I can sludge through it, or I can make peace with it. And to be an example and encouragement to those who cross my path.
I just want to be more at peace with myself. Stop reacting and take the anger out of actions. Think more and act in a meaningful manner. Heaven knows I'm being tested repeatedly on this by the 2 people who should not be doing any testing on this (my wife and my mother).
Id like to be at or very near goal weight and having a successful maintenance dance. Just follow the fabulous plan, one day at a time. Just take the next best action. All you have to not take it the first bite.
I want to be free of fear. I want to be confident that I can make it. I want to get involved in a creative project that helps and includes other people. I remember the advice I got from the printing on my yoga mat - LIFE IS ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CREATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE, SO GO START CREATING.
Be where your feet are. Find yourself in the moments that don't necessarily make you catch your breath or realize huge things or make you high on life. Be with yourself in the duller moments. Everything is relative because it is and we are and this is. Hold the circles of life - recognize them - and there is no need to capture them. They cannot be captured. You cannot be captured. You are free. You decide.