Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you're especially proud of from this past year?
I took a really nice solo trip by myself to DR for my birthday. It was totally spur of the moment and I was nervous about what other people would think and how much it would cost, but I had the most incredible time reflecting and being by the beach by myself. I hope that I continue to make time for myself like this.
I kept going. I wish I took more time away from work after my mother died. I took a week off and then went back like nothing happened, never talking about the elephant in the room. But to be honest, no matter how much time I spent away from work, it's never enough. The grief always catches up with me and I haven't reached a point yet where I'm done processing. I know I'll never get over it but when will it stop hurting so much?
I wish I'd trusted my gut more, and that I'd pushed for things that I truly wanted, rather than settled for things that were satisfactory. I'm talking about my job, which I knew I shouldn't have said yes to even as I said yes to it over the phone. I'm talking about my living situation in Harlem, where--despite all of the amenities--I feel stuck. I wish I'd been less fearful about the consequences of pushing for what I really wanted, and more convinced that I in fact deserve those dreams.
Spending more time doing the things that have positive impacts on those around me, as it is these activities that actually naturally make me feel happy. This may mean going out of my comfort zone and finding like minded people from outside groups.
I wish I had learned earlier this year (or in years past) to accept and love myself for who I am, rather than always trying (and failing) to be what others believe I should be. I also wish I had learned earlier to stand up for myself, and to reject negativity in my life.
I wish I had kept up a gratitude practice. I have plenty to be grateful about, despite all the chaos, loss, arguments, and isolation. It might have helped me see the light amidst the darkness.