What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
Fear of not being employed and having to rely on my own business for financial independence. Plan, resources, implement and learn.
I accept all fears as teachers.
Lately my fear is that I'm trapped, that I won't be allowed to grow anymore. So I'm trying to take on extra projects, trying to prove to people that I can do more.
I still have a fear of looking stupid, I think, and I really want to let go of it and be able to just play — for fun and for creativity.
I have an ongoing fear of failure, that's only challenged my fear of success. I often wonder if they are actually one and the same. When I feel either creeping in, I just take a deep breath and remind myself that I've gotten this far, so I must have what it takes to take the next step.
I've been fearful 24/7/365 till recently. Now, I'm replacing much of the fearfulness with apathy.
I fear putting myself in positions where I do not feel like an expert. I like to know that what I am presenting is excellent. I am going to release more work into the world and find people who are in the right place to give me feedback... even if it means talking to strangers
I think the good thing about last year's fights and struggles was that I'm past most fears. I no longer fear losing my job, or my man. I'm no longer lost but strong. Having said that, I still fear losing my aging mother, or fear dying myself and leaving her behind. What would she do? How would she ever cope? Also, cancer is creeping into our lives: not just our parents, but friends and colleagues fall victim to that monstrous disease. We are no longer invincible nor immortal. That's something to come to grips with.
My fear still goes back to the phobia of throwing up. In the past year I think I've still made a bunch of significant strides toward getting over it (i.e. working in a hospital and seeing a psychiatrist) and even though I don't know entirely where it stems from and I'm still effected by it, I have noticed some progress. I think continuing to expose myself to the trigger and better learning how to cope with my anxiety will help me overcome this fear.
Social anxiety. It makes it much harder for me to make meaningful connections. I plan to work on pushing myself out of my comfort zone and on techniques to reduce my anxiety.
My fear of never having children has really crystalized this past year, and my first step to overcoming it is probably stopping to ignore it. I voiced it already a couple of times to friends (very recently, to Tomer and to German), and they were both very surprised by it. It looks like I don't give off the vibe of a person who wants to have kids, and I don't know yet if this is good or bad. I guess I need to get used to living with the fear and uncertainty, and just see what happens.
Dying alone and poor.
I have a fear of people not liking me and also that I will be bored. I want to be loved and have friends that care about me. I am going to try to realize that people do like me and I don't have to do all the things to make them like me.
This last year was difficult for me. Lots of new people and new social situations. I've fallen into a bit of a groove and most of my social fears have subsided a bit as a result. This is mostly well-trodden territory at this point. But my social anxiety is still crippling. I do the best I can to ignore it, to try and do the things that scare me even though it is extremely uncomfortable. The only thing I can promise myself is to keep trying and to not let my fear inhibit my ability socialize and make freinds.
I have a crazy here about getting Lasic for my eyes. I’ve had this fear for now over a decade, and it’s about time to let it go. I have a gift certificate for Lasic and I will be doing it within the next year. Fingers crossed!
I sometimes have a fear that something real tragic will happen to my self or a member of my family. When this happensIi remember that "fear is useless, trust is what is needed." That has served me in good stead and I will keep referring to it as long a these thoughts come up. Working on making them not return and not wasting time on such thoughts.
My biggest fear is not being able to pay bills, homelessness, copays & deductibles, and this keeps me from pursuing my dreams because I'm stuck in a job I don't like.
I was struggling a lot with the fear of being jobless when we first moved back to the place where we grew up, and it took me three months to find my first job here. But when I realized six weeks in that the office I had accepted the position in was not a good fit for me, I ultimately realized that I was more afraid of wasting time somewhere I was not only unhappy, but actively being asked to *not* be myself. I decided to take the risk and leave to work somewhere else, which ended up not lasting very long either, though that was not my decision. Corey and I were about to buy a house nearby, but thankfully I was fired two weeks before we settled on that house and got stuck with a mortgage that could have kept us house poor if it took me very long to find another job. So basically, my fear of everything “falling apart” on us came to fruition, and guess what? We survived it. I am in talks with two different practices to potentially come and work for them, and we found a house to rent in Hatboro that is surprisingly a better fit for what we need right now than the one we were planning to buy, with a large fenced-in backyard and plenty of storage available to us. By letting go of my fear that things weren’t working out according to the plans in my head, when they did ultimately come to pass, I think I was ready to be much more flexible and find the lesson in each one. I was ready to step into the acknowledgement that those things had probably not been right for me, or ideal for us as a young family, and I was open to alternative solutions instead of stubbornly clinging to the original plan and trying to force things that were probably not meant to be. I also learned that it’s okay to be afraid and still make steps forward. Very few things are truly permanent, and it’s alright to pivot if necessary. I still have faith that everything will work out. Maybe not all at once, and certainly not in the ways that I might have pictured, but each step is a step in the right direction. I have an easier time believing that these days than I used to. That’s for sure.
My fears for this country continue from last year. On one hand, I feel more hopeful as the resistance gathers bulk and momentum. But on the other, still too many of us espouse hate or turn away in indifference. I don’t know how to overcome or let go. Periodically, I am in a funk of sadness and despair that has to wear itself out. I go through cycles of focusing on my “three feet” of influence and hope, then something else nearly unthinkable happens. Right now, I’m in that funk. I keep searching for better ways to manage it.
I'm afraid of failure and losing control of how I appear - I'm always afraid of how I am seen. It limits me because it hides my true self, my natural actions, behind various masks. It's tiring and it prevents me from making real connection. I want to keep up meditation and therapy to help me feel more confident as exactly what I am
I'm so fearful of hurting myself. Having a broken back, repaired hip, bad knees and RA, I've been so scared of overdoing it. In the past when I have, I'm down for the count for days. I'm tired of living this way; I'm way too young to be missing out on as much stuff as I do. I'm committed to changing that, now that I have my RA medication under control. I'm working on losing weight, I'll be heading back to a specialist for PT and hope to incorporate more exercise back into my life. My goal is to be able to go hiking with my family next Spring & to generally be happier!
I fear that I will never find love. I know that everyone says "one day" or "you just have to find the right person," but it's difficult when all of your friend's are moving on to different points in their lives and you're just still stuck in this rut. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and it just keeps my spirits down. I know that I don't need to find love because I have friends and family that love me, but it's not the same. This next year I hope to be able to accept that it may not ever happen. But who knows, it might.
The fear is so big that I cannot even type it. I am doing OK--really, Future Self--but I am still too scared to type the fear. I don't think that I can let go of the fear ever. But I plan to continue to live as if I have many, many years to come. That is all that I can do.
anxiety, fear of not doing enough or failing at my job/not living up to expectations communication, pushing myself out of my bubble and laying the groundwork to continue to grow
I still struggle with imposter syndrome and not being good enough. I think, rather than wrestling with those things directly, I may benefit from thinking more about who I would be and what I could accomplish if I let those concerns/fears go.
I fear that I will be alone. That I will not be loved. I think this fear of being alone is one that we all share. Deep seated. It limits us (me) by guiding choices I make that are probably not the best for me. Make me seek out romantic relationships hoping it will be “the one” and, if it is, that my potential lonely future will be protected against. I know this is a false narrative and yet it is hard to continue to act according to it. I’m not sure how I will overcome this. It’s an ongoing journey. Perhaps by spending more time on my own and realizing that that’s ok.
My fear of failure and impostor syndrome have teamed up to convince me that though I am doing the thing, I probably am not good enough to be doing it, and don't deserve to succeed at it anyway. I just have to keep pushing through it and remembering that the reward comes later.
I can't say that I have fear that is preventing me from or is limiting me. Yes, I have doubts, I suppose you could call them fear. But nothing that is limiting. In just a few months, Susie and I will be married. I am extremely joyful about this. Yet, there is that small sliver of doubt (or fear) that it is too good to be true. I know that is not what God desires for me. I also have this "fear" about how to maintain honor and recognition for Terry. This too casts some doubts. But, again, I know that Terry and I had 45 wonderful years together. That she is with the Lord. That we will be reunited in Heaven. That God has given me a new heart, not replaced the loving heart I had for Terry.
Sé que voy a seguir enamorado de M, quiero convivir con ello y quiero seguir pudiendo verla, tener espacios compartidos en los que pueda disfrutar de ella.
I have this fear that if I give myself over to others too much, like if I don't try to achieve for myself and accumulate power and wealth (even in modest amounts) for me, than I will die. Or be miserable. or will be consumed by fear. I don't how I will "let go" or "overcome" this, but even as I type this I think what may help is to be of service, and serve others, be as useful as I can to all I meet, and to the world at large, in small and big ways (whenever possible).
Fear of conflict/letting people down. I've been practicing how to say no to things I don't want to do and I think I'm getting better at it!
I fear that I won't choose recreational activities appropriate for my fitness level and will A) hurt myself or B) be a hindrance to others and/or C) not enjoy those recreational activities. I plan to be more analytical and realistic about my limitations so I can enjoy recreational outings more.
I am deathly afraid of failing at my job. This has limited me by making me afraid to advocate for myself and stand up for myself when I feel that I have been mistreated. I plan on advocating for myself more with my supervisors and my peers and having confidence that I am, in fact, qualified to be here.
I'm afraid both that I wont find purpose and that I wont be able to re-enter the workforce. I love my kids but I think I'd love being able to work more. I know work won't take care of me when I'm old but I miss the freedom of having extra income, I miss the work travel and seeing glimpses of cities, I miss having the extra security of a job. I'm afraid too much of my purpose is tied up in achievement and I don't know how to translate that to not having worked in almost 2 years.
I think my biggest fear right now is letting people down. I'd like to let that go in a way that acknowledges that others will give me more grace than I am giving myself. I don't need to always be perfect - maybe doing the best I can is good enough, even if that means I may not be able to follow through on a previous commitment to the same extent.
I'm 50 years old now, and I still deal with shyness. I balk sometimes at the actions I should take to interact with people. I retreat and do my own thing a lot. I have been getting better at making myself talk to others and it's usually a nice interaction. What I need to do is stop going inside my own head and get out there and express myself, converse, keep showing acts of kindness. I definitely need to let go of my irrational fears that I'll be rejected if I reach out.
I continue to fear change. Instead of just thinking about talking to a professional resource about this, I need to actually follow through. Retirement is no longer far off in the future, and I need to come to grips with all that it entails.
I guess I fear that I will never do anything worth while. I wish to have some kind of impact on the world but struggle to find my purpose. This leaves me feeling a little defeated everyday. I guess all I can do is continue to pursue things that interest me in hopes of finding what it is I am supposed to do.
I have been afraid of what my spoonie status stopped me from accomplishing. Notw, I'm just gonna do what I want. If it gets in the way, I'll take a break reassess who or what is needed.
I don't have many fears that I know of. I do have an irrational fear of inflating tires, afraid that they will explode while I'm right in front of them. I just ignore it and move on since I don't have anyone who will inflate them for me. I hate it and turn away while I'm doing it but I do it anyway.
I fear that I am a fraud. I feel like this is beyond imposter syndrome, that I really can't hack it. I perpetually procrastinate, I don't know how to stop. I spend hours watching TV and wasting time on the internet, then get disappointed that I haven't achieved what I want. I am a hard worker, but the work is getting funneled into the wrong areas or directions I guess. I think I have to either accept that I don't want to do the work towards my goals and change them, or do something else pretty radical. I don't know if I can let go or if I can overcome it.
This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but I have a paralyzing fear of snakes. I feel its almost abnormal how fearful and paranoid I am about them. I wish I didn't have this fear, it hinders me from hiking in the warmer months. I still go, but not alone and I am freaking out the whole time, making it not fun. I really don't want to see one to help me get over it, but at the same time I wonder if exposure to them would help. I know this is a common fear, but mine is hopped up on the strongest steroids you can get. I have nightmares and I even fear they are hiding in the most ridiculous places and are going to get me. I am going to continue trying to learn about them and seeking out others who have had and overcome this fear. I want to enjoy hiking and camping more.
Wanting a job that pays for my experience and worth. Updating my resume. and putting it out there. Following through so i can have a higher paying job.
I fear being divorced and how it will affect my kids and my extended family and me and my husband. I question the need of doing it and I want to feel clear/complete one way or another. I guess I am not ready to let go and need to trust that I KNOW the right answer/direction will come to me/my world. Trust/Faith/Belief in my path. My fear is that it holds me back energetically from moving on and finding a new (or current?) love which is certainly something that I am seeking. I don't plan on "letting it go." I don't believe that works. However I know that " not resisting what is" works more effectively and therefore in the coming year, I intend to open up the question, "What is next?" and give it a wide and generous and loving berth. Wow, how perfect of a word/homonym BERTH/BIRTH. Renewal
Fear of my own self expression and success. Fear that I am not powerful via my self expression: a belief that my words don't matter much, or don't have much effect. I don't share myself. I plan on expressing myself more. Through art, through writing, through music, through communicating with people. I want to let it out! I plan on working through this by doing Fear Inventories, by doing my artistic practices, and through other practices that encourage vulnerability and communication.
OMG...this has been a year of overcoming fears. Fear that I can't do it, fear of what would happen if I tried, fear of letting go and moving on...fear for my child if I took him out of the one environment that was constant in his life...fear of being alone in a new city...fear for my mom as she ages. I don't know how I overcame these fears, I just know that I made a commitment to try and I did it. OMG.
My main fear is fear of failing, I intend to overcome that with faith in G-d and confidence in the abilities given to me by the creator.
I am extremely risk averse and I'd like to not be anymore. I don't have an active plan for this but I think it's something I can address in therapy.
I’ve always had an underlying fear that my body won’t function as it’s supposed to. This covers digestion, sleep, and overall energy. I feel that I have to put so much work into and stress over managing my body in accordance with what my mind wants for it, which is to digest properly but still be thin, fall asleep early and sleep well at night to feel refreshed the next day, and planning my life and activities hoping and praying that I have enough energy to get through things. I don’t think other people put this much thought into this and I’d ideally like to let go of this stress. I guess it’s working somehow for me though. Maybe I just plan enjoy it. I would like to take kaizen steps toward letting it go. Trust. Leaps of faith. I’m not sure yet what actual steps but it’s something to think about.
My fear is not having a partner and therefore not having family? Or having to do the parent thing by myself? I need to be more intentional about dating, I need to be more open to talking with strangers, and I think I need to be more patient with people and give it time to see if I can develop any feelings. I need to take more concrete actions to help this along.
I think I have a slight fear of taking risks in my career. And its held me back from moving forward. I consider myself in a good position or good enough so I get fear to take leaps. I want to challenge this going forward and make my career meaningful and head where I want it to be.
I have had few fears. Some awful things have happened to me but I prevailed and thrived. The one thing I do fear is the chaos caused by President Trump. I fear that his impulsive behavior could cause a nuclear war or some similar disaster. I fear what he had done to damage the climate. The biggest fear is that he could be re-elected next year.
My fear is much like last year - not living my life to the fullest and having regrets when my life is over. Will try and spend my 3 seeks in China being mindful of how I'm spending that moment - meaningful & joyful.
I fear judgement from others, with regard for my ability, or character. I will not be discouraged from doing my best, or to judge them in return.
I have a fear of letting people down. It limits me because I cannot please everyone all the time. Part of letting it go involves believing that I am doing my best with a pure heart and that that is enough. I'm learning about setting healthy boundaries.
For many years, I have feared that I will not have enough money when I am older and may become homeless and destitute. I have spoken with other friends/family members about making some plans for the future, however, I still felt this anxiety. Recently, after speaking with a good friend and teacher we decided that we will talk about buying home together. I think because our energy and spirit resonates so closely, it helped me to at last feel that a plan was possible. I have made other commitments to saving and investing as well. Slowly, my fear is lessening. I can help it by realizing that we don't know what the future holds, the universe wants good for me and staying committed to the plans I have made.
I am afraid to say what I think sometimes for fear that I will be shunned, judged or rejected by my peers. I fear that my children are so badly damaged by their childhood experiences that they will become emotionally and socially stuck. I don't expect that these fears will abate; I only hope that I can act in spite of them.
Politics. I know - kinda weird answer, but it's come to a head in my life. Decisions that are being made now are going to impact my children much more than they'll impact me and I have just kept my head in the sand. It's a brutal, ugly, space to try and navigate right now but how can I really expect anything to change in this country if I'm not willing to be informed and fight for what I believe in? It feels like a very monumental time in our history and I don't want have to explain to my grandchildren how I didn't do a single thing.
I have limited myself in speaking my mind to family members because I have one member who pressures other members into her getting her way on everything by being contrary and disruptive for everything else. I love her and have often placated her for year so I am scared to just stop but it is a problem of my own making.
Fear of putting myself out there on political causes. I need to remember my fears with the Washingtonian article and how that had no impact at all (really negative or positive) so like so many fears it was about an imagined future that isn't real
I fear being judged unfavourably or inaccurately by people whose opinions I value. (none of the previous years fears have gone away either)
Current fear is that I have breast cancer and that I may not be around next year. I plan on fighting it with the best options available to me. That means either mastectomy or chemo, or natural treatment.
Retiring with no debt. Plane to pay off all debt as fast as possible on a schedule to be debt free by age 65.
I'm scared of missing some social cue and then getting into a difficult situation. Similarly scared of saying something that seems fine and then offending people (especially on F"B). For the latter, maybe avoid this kinds of F"B discussions (although on the other hand, I think I've been getting better at learning how to apologize and reach out and try to bridge the gaps). For missing social cues, it's tough, because I feel I always have to be on the lookout. But I've also realized that that fear can sometimes be a hindrance. So I don't know.
My fear is growing old and being seen as irrelevant. I already see it happening some. I will have to both let it go and do some things to overcome it. I will meditate so that I can be in "what is." I will work to keep alive, live in gratitude, and work to minimize the effects of aging. I will also accept my humanity, the fact that I am flawed, and use it as a way to become more passionate and loving.
I'm afraid of what's happening to this planet, the future that will be left to the kids. I think it's inevitable, so I do need to let go of some of it, to share with others, but also to really step up my own habits and learn to be more resilient in the world, helping the kids do so also, for myself and for the future.
I think that one fear is that my OCD has focused a lot on being a victim of a mass shooting. I could overcome it by continuing therapy and also realizing that it's more worthwhile being brave than fearing something that is unlikely to happen.
I still have a significant fear of moving to a big city - cost, feeling lost, disliking noise and feeling anxious with amount of people, moving, car ownership issues or lack thereof. I should want to move to a city based on how few people I'm close to - more population increases likelihood. I don't know how I plan on letting go, and I still might not move to a city - but I should learn to want to be more a part of community.
Fear of facing my father and my fears which have to do with him. I didn't feel at all like going to my family home just because of him. I plan to close this chapter in December , when I'm there after over 3 years.
I'm giving the same answer as last year. I have a fear of people and I need to find a shul community I can feel a welcome member of. And this year, I'm giving myself a deadline of Hanukkah to find this community.
I have the fear that I will not make meaningful relationships in my life and enjoy them. I have been shy at making friends. I hope to be better at introducing myself and making friends.
Oh my! I fear following those dreams that do not align with my practical self. I will continue to dream until I develop the courage to act on them.
Having a cardiac medical emergency while living in Mexico and not getting help. More worried about my dogs than anything else!
I do not allow fear into my life. I accept whatever comes my way & all though I can be apprehensive about some of the challenges I face, I always continue to walk forward & move through the challenges.
I'm afraid of failing. I don't know, it's the same fear as last year. It's still big and still awful and I'm not sure how one goes about letting it go. Am I a failure at letting go of my fear of failure? Oy.
I'm afraid of trying new things, and especially trying new things on my own. It's kept me from building healthier habits in my life and from taking small risks—like volunteering for a cause even if I don't know anybody there, or hiking solo, or learning a new skill. I hope I can overcome that fear this year, especially as I cultivate a more balanced life this fall/winter while I am not working full-time. I'd like to find a hobby or a pursuit I can add to my life that brings me peace or joy or balance—and I acknowledge that that may mean, at first, being nervous and scared and shy at the outset. And that's okay, but I should really push through.
The fear of lingering emotions I’ll never be able to resolve. I plan to let it go by no longer allowing certain people to live rent-free in my head.
I have a fear of losing control , of letting others down and drawing in a mess. This has caused me to carry a weight always, to push overly hard. I contract in my body, it makes me sick, it prevents me form being deeply connected to those that I love.
I fear that if I leave my current job, I will be lost and won't know what to do next. I need to be better at networking with the right people and researching what else is out there instead of just staying in my comfort zone.
I can't think of a fear that limits me. I have kinda' gotten to a place that I do what I want. I will think about this, tho, in the grander scheme of things and see if anything comes up...
This year my fear has been about relationship and trying to figure out what is best for me and how not to ignore my inner council.
J ai tjs peur quand mon mari ne répond pas au téléphone qu il lui arrive quelque chose. J espère réussir à lâcher prise, ne pas avoir de mauvaises idées
This year I'll talk about a subconscious fear, that kicks in as a trigger when I am touched or get really intimate - it is a fear of intensity, coming too close, and of being trapped and smothered. It makes me withdraw in relationship, frustrates and hurts my partner, and keeps me isolated. I want to slow down when it comes up, to feel the feelings, recognize where they come from, and communicate clearly in the moment.
I fear change and instability almost as much as I crave it. It might be a healthy fear to retain, honestly; i wonder if it balances my impulsivity.
I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of people thinking less of me because of my failure. Not only because I care how people think of me, but because I am afraid of not living up to the expectations set for me by others. Being a disappointment to other people. It limits me because I won't try things if I think I will fail or if I know I can't do it on my first try. This year, I will focus on whether my actions disappoint myself. I am holding myself to my own standards and the standards set upon me by Hashem and that is all I want to care about this year. I want to try things I know I will fail in and I want to feel comfortable sitting in that failure and working to being better.
I think everything I've been upset about is rooted in a lack of self-confidence. I need to find ways to build it up, and not be so hard on myself.
I am afraid of not being strong enough if I end up living by myself. I am afraid I will become a recluse and unlovable. I believe I have to start now to prove to myself that I can handle life on my own. That is my plan. To take charge of my life now instead of waiting until I am alone. I can take care of Phil and be his partner and still be in control of my own life and my own decisions.
I am very uncomfortable with new people/small talk situations or being acknowledged in a group. As a result, I sell myself short. I have difficulty balancing humility and presenting strengths, needs, and expectations. I need to promote my self-confidence and value among other people. I'm worth being there, being listened to, and asking questions. I need to step outside my comfort zone and find confident people whose self-positioning attributes I can emulate.
Since my patella fracture and knee surgery, I have physical limitations that I am afraid will restrict my travels and vacations. I fell in a wet environment so I am afraid now walking in rain or wet areas. I have completed physical therapy but I know I will never be 100% again. This is my new normal.
Fear of scarcity while growing older. It's limited me because sometimes I've thought it was hopeless. These days I'm more encouraged, but even just a dip in energy level can cause concern. My play on letting it go is to nurture my spiritual condition and connection to HP, inner guidance, and faith/trust in HP has my back and everything happens for the highest good of all.
I fear not being able to find a job that can allow me money to travel, I enjoy and allows me to have time with my family. It has limited me because I am sacrificing money to travel. I plan to compromise by going back to teaching, something I sort of enjoy but can make more money at and then I will be able to spend more money on traveling.
I am afraid of the lawlessness of our current President, and the inaction on the part of the Republicans in the Senate to stand up for the rule of law and the country over party. I am afraid of the voting citizens who are believing the lies they hear on Fox and who are not aware of what's really going on. I don't know how I'm going to overcome these fears, other than the work I'm already doing to help get out the vote to try to save our country.
This year has been a lot about transition out of childhood. My fear is that I will lose this part of my life, this part of myself. I don't want to let go of my childhood self--the part that has so much love and appreciation and wonder for the world. But I know that a part of myself will be constant, and as I grow, that part will be a basis for how I interact with the world. But still. I am gonna miss my childhood. Now I fly!
I am fearful the I will not reach my professional goals while simultaneously being the future mother I aspire to be. I want to stop letting this fear guide my next steps professionally, and come to greater clarity on what this balance can look like for me.
Fear of disagreeing with someone. I'm giving myself a moment to pause before responding, to let go of the instinct to just automatically agree.
I have a fear of not having health care..health insurance...I have several health conditions for which I need it, but it really controla my ability to be creative and live my life. Like I would like to try living in a van, maybe just for a month...or even just traveling for a month...Tired if being tied down to a job again. I was supposed to have changed this...
Fear of failure sometimes limits me in painting, making me hesitant to try something since I'm afraid I'll screw it up. In writing, I'm not sure what the fear is that keeps me from starting. Something to work on in the coming year.
My fear was that I was a fraud in my career with my background the last few years but I can honestly say that today, 10-7-19 that I am ready to walk into my next opportunity with confidence and grace. I had to let go of old internal dialogue that didn’t serve me anymore. I had to do some SERIOUS soul work and once I sat in it and accepted what was broken about my thinking I felt more free and confident in my abilities.
I still fear failure. I fear being a loser. I fear my life being a waste of time. I'm still somehow a perfectionist (though you might not see many signs of it), and I'm constantly letting myself down. Now that I'm in this challenging new environment, I need to find ways to forgive myself, to encourage myself, and to allow myself to make (many, many) mistakes. It's pretty difficult not to make mistakes here, so I guess that will help.
My fear is still having given up Vlad, who is the one person who seemingly gave me unconditional love... I threw that away and still question myself 1-1/2 years later. It has probably limited my ability to get into new relationships but hopefully not. We'll see how I feel in one my year from now.
afraid of having a bad financial situation. take one month at a time, get better at spending less/saving.
I have a big fear in trust. Whether that’s trusting my instinct or trusting someone due to circumstances where I have been lied to. I’m not too sure currently how I can let this go, or whether I should let it go, because if I do then I could be setting myself up for further heartache. However I don’t like the situation I am in because of this so need to shift this somehow.
I'm fearful that I don't have the resources--both materially and personally--to be able to make it on my own. I'm in a place where I'm going to have to test whether "leap and the net will appear" is true or not.
After all that’s happened in the last year, I’m probably MORE afraid of everything now than I was then. I’m not sure how to work through this all, or if I even can in this place.
I have a fear of going into a long term care home. If you don't have money it is like being placed in a warehouse where no one has time to talk to you and you feel less than human. Seven minutes the PSW has to get you up, on and off the toilet and washed and dressed and down to the dining room in the morning. That sounds like a production line. I don't want to feel like I am living on a production line.
The fear of being judged by others. I keep trying not to care, and sometimes I even succeed. But it is a very old and deep feeling of hating when others are disappointed in me. It is hard to hold so many people's imaginary expectations all the time.
I have a fear of dying. Hahaha. And I also have a fear of aging. I think aging is the worse fear. I want to live FOREVER, but I think that's the human condition to want that. I'm so afraid of getting sick. AHHHHH. I am letting it go by letting it sink in and knowing it is what it is. Here's hoping it doesn't happen anytime soon.
I am afraid of not being loved and it limits me by holding me back from relationships and making me too clingy/insecure/0-100 when I'm in them. I plan to practice loving myself. At the end of the day, you just have to like yourself. Nothing else matters.
Fear of failure, definitely. I would love to try a new career but I'm stuck here where it's safe.
Same as last year - fear of driving and no intention of doing any about it
One fear is being judged by others. I tend to be very aware of my surroundings and Evidently I prefer not to have people judge me in a negative light. I have learned to just let it go, because not everyone is going to like me or care so why focus on what others may or may not think of me and just concentrate on what I want and what make me happy. I plan on continuing my self expression through talking, what I wear, facial expression and etc. and just letting go of my worries and focusing on the present.
There is something about being a mother that fills me with anxiety and constant low-grade fear that something could happen to my children. When my youngest began having seizures around 9 months old, it took some time to first determine that she had epilepsy and then to find the right dosage of medication to control her seizures. While it's very rare, people with seizures sometimes die without warning from reasons not to do with an accident during a seizure. In the first weeks after discovering this, I felt like I was constantly on a state of high alert, unable to breathe. I have improved as she has stabilized on her medication, but the fear is definitely still here. I'm not sure if I will be able to let this fear go entirely, but through meditation and talking with other moms who have kids with chronic conditions, I've been able to regain control. I give her medication on time every day without fail, which is the one thing about her condition I can control.
I’m scared of losing independence. Not sure I will overcome it.
Fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of not being perfect, fear of stepping off the bath and being lost forever, fear of not living up to my potential... they are all tied together-- perfectionism and anxiety, and they limit my ability to live life fully, to take risks, to be present, to be open. I plan on being BRAVE and writing more, sending things out to be published, and taking time to enjoy my kids.
Fear of driving. Last year i made an effort but i had an accident. I plan to drive again but for now i am affraid of having another accident. Hope for better days.
I don't have many fears that I feel like actually limit me in any way. I could not get my self to jump off a 12 foot cliff in Mexico over the summer - even though my husband and kids did, over and over, and then teased me about not jumping, over and over. But I don't often find myself at the edge of a cliff waiting to jump, so I think I'm good.
The fear of inadequacy is still with me... I don't think I will overcome it, and have no plans on stages and steps. Hopefully it is not too visible to the outside world. I plan to live in peace with it and with the hope that the degree of my inadequacy is actually smaller than it feels.
I fear making people angry at me. It limits some of my choices... like spending money on things that my husband feels is unnecessary. It prevents me from telling some of the people I love what I really think about some of their choices and behaviors. (But I think that might be the BETTER choice. Family harmony, Shalom HaBayit and all that.)
I am not afraid. I am not alone. I am enough. The world has and is enough. We just need to collectively remember and stop being afraid.
I am fearful of meeting new people whether it’s at work or socially. It has limited me in nearly every interaction for most of my life. I have been afraid to reach out for help when I’ve needed it, afraid to network to advance my career, afraid to meet new folks socially leaving our social circle tiny. I’m not sure how to overcome it at this point.
I'm afraid that I'm incapable of sustaining a healthy, loving, intimidate and sexual relationship and I am afraid of investing too much in case it ends. I want to protect myself without sabotaging my closest relationships. I want to become more skilled at setting good boundaries and letting my partner in when I need to. I want to be patient with myself and my partner.
Since losing David in 2011, my greatest fear has always been losing the people I care about. I’ve always felt responsible, that something I can do would make a difference...it’s magical thinking and completely irrational. But it feels real when it happens and can affect my making good decisions. But as time and life occur, it slowly sinks in that I do not have control over the entire universe. Or even the actions of those I love most dearly. So instead of making decisions based on fear, I’m going to try to make decisions based on my personal best self’s-path. Do what I know is right, and let the future unfold as it will.
I fear that I have lost all my drive. It is limiting me because I feel dissociated from myself. I used to be driven by anger and grief for many years and suddenly I stopped being angry and sad finally. However they were strong drivers and now I am afraid I will never feel the desire to do anything ever again. I don’t want to volunteer’ I don’t have to work nor do I want to, I don’t have to compete. I am afraid I will just do less and less for the rest of my life. How will I overcome this? I am just waiting until I am so bored I have to do something.
Fear of being betrayed or cheated on; it is limiting my function and l need to let it go.
A fear of not completing projects keeps me from starting them. Better said, a fear of not completing them SUCCESSFULLY. And then I have to redefine what the term SUCCESS means. I guess this is basically a fear of failure - but what is failure in my own dictionary? Maybe not ever trying is a bigger failure than making an attempt and not reaching the goal I set, but still TRYING. Doing hard things, without an expectation of reaching my goals, but with the expectation of growing, learning, and setting a bar for others, can be success.
I have a FOMO (fear of missing out). My wife calls it ass in two places. Sometimes, I want to try to fit everything in, so I don't have to make a decision and take one thing over another. Other times, I'm paralyzed and can't make a decision, and wind up doing nothing and feeling frustrated. I know that I need to learn to trust my instincts and just do what feels right and learn to live with my decision. Next year, for the first time in many years, I'm planning to skip my annual western guys ski trip. There were a variety of reasons I decided to skip, and it was a tough decision, but once I made it, I was good with my decision and I haven't looked back. I need to have more of those moments.
My fears are still similar to last year, and feeling this urgency to have it all figured out, to be operating at my highest level of success already at 28 years old. I think this is where my antsy energy comes from, feeling like I need to be doing better/working harder/achieving more. It limits me by not allowing me to be fully present and take in all the lessons from my current situation. It also limits me because I don't give myself credit for all that I *am* actually doing right now, and all that I have achieved before age 30.
It’s tough to think of one but I think I have a fear of my acupuncture treatments not being good enough or not helpful or “wrong”. I am already in a practice to let go of those thoughts. They do not serve. I could overcome it more by practicing loving presence as I am delivering treatments.
Walking on water financially to be over doing short term missions trips
I am afraid of financial uncertainty and instability. This has led me to be quite skeptical and afraid of James's new foray into real estate investing and alternate ways of generating wealth. He's burned out on software (which I totally understand!) and wants to shift his focus to another way to bring money into our shared accounts. I've been fearful every step of the way as he undertakes this journey - afraid we're new to it and we'll mess it up, afraid we will choose a poor investment and lose money, afraid it will take a lot of his time and energy to figure it out, afraid we will lose some of our existing nest egg to his projects and investments. I would like to overcome this fear in the year ahead by learning more about real estate investing, and by learning to lead our lives on a budget. I think we can trim our expenses so my salary covers our mortgage, most of our childcare expenses, and most of our living expenses. If we can get our budget worked out so the real estate piece isn't necessary for our monthly family bottom line, I'll be a lot less afraid to support his new endeavors.
I often am afraid of authority and of having to be the leader amongst peopel I don't want to lead. For instance in my marriage - I have to lead but it's not always very fun to be in that position. In the Army, I don't feel I am a good leader and fear that retribution as the outsider. I am trying to let it go by empowering Jose more to lead in the home. In the Army, it just takes the time I guess.
Flying! Using AWARE (acknowledge /wait/act to make yourself comfortable /repeat /end). It has made me dread holidays out of UK but I'm writing this is Sicily so am tackling it. Also, fear of death... Makes me depressed and think 'what's the point?'. Tackling it by living what's left of life with energy and belief things can still surprise me. University course, for example.
A fear of mine is not being loved and losing valuable relationships because of that. I hope that in this coming year I can truly focus on the good relationships I have and not letting my self-confidence and doubt get in the way.
I fear ending up trapped in a suburban retirement in a small grey town on the English Coast, just coping. I plan to buy a house in the sun as PlanA, and or learn to reframe this fear as Plan B.
I'm afraid that I won't be able to have children, that I will end up childless not by choice. I don't know that I can let this go but I think I just have to do everything in my power to make it happen.
I have the fear that I am in the process of flaming out, that this career I've built will end with one meaningless mid level job after another affecting nothing of note. The climb is starting to level, I'm in a city that affords much less opportunity to gain power, and I don't know that I'll ever be happy playing the role of one cog in a wheel. The alternative seems all encompassing and painful. I don't want to sacrifice everything else and never settle in to life, I'd like to leave behind some of the imposter syndrome and constant pushing myself through anxiety. I am at an impasse and will probably feel like I am dealing with both situations depending on the day. I need to get to the root of what I want without these frames to find fulfillment.
I normally don't have fears, but this year has been yet another horrible year at my workplace. The stupidities never end and I just don't manage stress well. I fear, hearing the latest issue, that it'll be another horrible year dealing with the fallout of it. I truly fear for my health :( I NEED to overcome it so I'm that much closer to retiring and getting out so I can have the peace I've worked VERY hard for!!
I fear my depression will come back in full. After years of fighting depression I was so tired that I just left go, I didn't believe in getting better anynore. And somehow that was what made me get better: there was no way but up. Now I'm in an awkward period where I'm not clipped but I'm not actual fine either. I do everything with a lot of caution and fear that I'm not strong enough, that the stress will break me down again. I want to move on and live instead of just exist, but I'm so scared all of the damn time. I'm making what seem to be safe choices and because they are not what I truly want I can't fully commit. At one point I'll just have to take a leap of faith but right now I'm paralized.
I’m terrified of dying. I’m going to see a counselor to help me because I can’t stay this scared and let it destroy whatever time I have left. I need to fully live whatever life I have and not let cancer and fear steal my joy.
Today, I don't have any clear and present fears. I'm in a bit of a better place than I was last year so maybe that is why. I'm also older with less time to accomplish things so the fear of being unsuccessful or not fully actualized just don't bother me as much.
I have let fear and struggle with self hate and body insecurity influence me for a long . This has limited me in loving myself and letting others love me. I plan on doing more work on myself this year to unpack that poor self image. I don't expect to overcome it in just a year because I have experienced this for a lifetime. But I do intend on trying to figure out first steps to really deal with it.
I am so scared of people not liking me, and it keep me from respecting myself and my boundaries, and being confident. I want to learn to let that anxiety go, because I can't fully control if people like me, and it often doesn't matter as much as I think it does. If people like me, it should be for me, boundaries and confidence intact.
Fear of ending up by myself. I’m longing for a partner, and eventually a family. This thought has haunted me for a while but this year despite a glorious year I felt it more than ever. I’m trying to let go of the fear and live my life for what it is but it’s not easy everyday.
I think fear is pretty absent from my life for the time being. I'm sure once I have children, and maybe while Sadie is in labor if all should go that way, then I might feel some significant fear. We shall see!
I'm scared of doing what I want and failing. I'm not scared of doing poorly in engineering school because I don't really want to be an engineer; I care a lot more about failing as an activist, for example, but paradoxically I focus more energy on schoolwork. This coming year I am going to start doing things that interest me-- I'll start running again, I am going to stop ghosting my Bumble matches, and I am going to be honest with my family. I'll also think more seriously about my plans post-graduation-- Do I want to become a teacher? A doctor? A lawyer? And I will make strides to achieve those goals, even though I'm scared I won't be able to.
Fear of not being there for my mom, my kids, my husband when they need me. I plan to do what I can- travel and take time off if needed. I will transition to Medicare and start some social security so that if something happens, I can quit my job without a lot of drama. Aside from that, some things are outside of my control and I will need to forgive myself.
I have a fear (HAD)....a strong dislike of needles and this has stopped me getting a tattoo. I've thought about getting one since I was 18 but have never been brave enough. This year I'm planning to be brave and get one 😊
Fear--failure, loss of love, loss of job. Similar to last years fears but not quite so intense. We are back living with mom, which I didn't want, but I am hopeful that we can move eventually. I do worry that we will ha e more downs than ups, especially with stressors we have experienced within last few months but we are both trying to communicate better.
I'm quite an angsty person and I feel being anxious has limited me a lot throughout my whole almost 38-year-long life. I think my ultimate fear is being rejected by everyone and completely alone and the one that comes right after that is making mistakes (which is probably again connected to the fear of being rejected and alone). I often don't dare to go for things or people I like or want. I'm also always very scared of being a burden or a nuisance to people, of wanting too much. I try to inconvenience others as little as possible and also to take up as little space as possible so I'm not in anyone's way literally and figuratively. This is a big problem, because it's holding me back and it's making me sad and I want to stop being that way. A therapist told me recently that I should make demands, ask for what I want and that doing this would make me more loveable or even romantically loveable at all. Which felt a bit harsh but she's probably right. It's difficult to get through to me or understand who I even am at all because I hardly show myself. I don't want to make anyone's life difficult or anyone to feel responsible for me in any way, I don't want to be a bother, which is again probably again connected to not wanting to be rejected. I think I learned this in my family when I was little and growing up with my very busy working single mum - I was accepted when I took care of myself and didn't complain in any way and was supportive of her. I think that's how I've internalised that this is how I have to behave to be loved - basically by being quiet, low maintenance and never being difficult in any way or asking for things. I was also supposed to be happy and smiley (because otherwise I knew it would be difficult for my mother, who was working hard and who I knew was feeling bad for not being a more conventional, nurturing mother who was around more and when I did get attention I was always just quietly grateful). As I am writing and reading this I realise this has limited me a lot - professionally and emotionally. I never voice when I am uncomfortable or feel exploited or treated poorly or unfairly, I stick it out and swallow my feelings and if it gets too much I just retreat and leave. That's the one thing I learned as an adult - I can leave if something's too unbearable, a job, a relationship, I've done this several times. But I don't say anything before, I let people cross my boundaries, because I'm so bad at conflict and communicating I don't want something. I still always want to please and support others at all costs but hardly ever ask for help or say that I'm vulnerable or weak. So this is something I really want to let go of. This fear of not being loveable or likeable or being rejected from society for verbalising my emotional or other needs or if I refuse to be exploited or if I'm pursuing something or someone. I want to learn to ask for things and to stop being scared of doing so. I will do this by just trying it out, by experimenting with it. I'll try to observe my behaviour and before reacting in an intuitive way - where I would usually say yes to something I don't really want to do or don't go for something because I think people might find me difficult, tedious, pushy or egotistical or needy - I will try and see what I really feel and put that into honest words. By taking babysteps in this direction of being more healthily self-serving I want to learn behaving in a way that is going to make me happier in the long run. I also hope that this will stop me always excessively exhausting myself in jobs I don't care about that much and for other people because I've always somehow felt to be accepted and to prove my worth I have to work extra hard and go out of my way to make others happy (which is again crazy). This is another behavioural pattern of mine I want to let go of. Try less hard for others and ask for more. Another way I want to practise changing my patterns and instinctual behaviour is by generally being more aware of my feelings and realising when lines are being crossed by others f.e. or where I should dare to say more loudly what I want. So 2020 is going to be the year where I let go of being scared of not being enough or being too much by practising more conscious awareness and doing things differently than before.
Anxiety, Worry and Fearfulness is something I struggle with regularly and have been thoughtful and aware of all this year. My main anxiety-focus this year has been on a) learning how to manage anxiety and b) working on not pulling out my hair. I have gotten alot better about not pulling my hair out and even rewarded myself by wearing my hair down and low hairdos. This year alot of new anxiety has surfaced about my SOs mental health. He has struggled in medical school and I worry about his ability to battle these challenges without doing something hurtful to himself or adopting a negative or hopeless attitude. So I will continue this coming year to learn how to manage worry and anxiety and leaving my hair be and I will be adding - how to let go of my anxiety around my SO and allowing God to take control.
My fear is that I won't have the dream I have had since I was little. And, as silly as it seems, I've always wanted to be a wife. I want that 50+ year relationship and all the work that is involved with it. But, at the age of, a week from, 33 the chances of having a 50+ year relationship are dwindling. The underlying fear to that is that I will be alone through life. While I have a great many friends and family, I'd like to have a relationship to call my own. I'm not quite sure how to overcome this fear. My best guess is to practice accepting the unknown. As well as being present in the moment and not placing emphasis on what could be and what I want it to be. I need to practice on accepting what it is.
I am aware that fear of the consequences of the climate catastrophe is limiting how I think about my writing. What is the point of writing for the future if humanity has no future? It is the same idea Gretta Thornburg has been making, but as a child she sees her future being taken away. That is correct but to me, as an old guy, it is more about the abstract future of humanity not going out into time the way we always assumed. For the youth it is personal! For the old it is abstract. That is the crux of the problem right now. I have written that the overcoming is existential. We have to rebel against the absurdity of this situation, just as Camus described (but his focus was meaninglessness, ours is extinction before our time). The fist step is admitting the problem but as a nation and world we are not quite ready, with all the tragic consequences this will entail.
It's irrational but nevertheless it's a fear I have - not getting a sufficient enough handle on my BPD so that I can have a happy and normal as is possible life. I'm smart and quick on the uptake. I'm intelligent and can reason well when I have the right info. When I can see the picture and am told the rules, I can play the game. BPD isn't a game, I know, it's serious and that's why I'm striving to get the help I need through knowledge, therapy, support and prayer. Father can help me if I let him. Depression stands in the way. I'm going to have to figure out a routine/method etc. to get a handle on it, too. It's a long road ahead but it isn't a race. I'm going to take my time instead of rushing like my normal tendency is to do, keep at it even if it's just a bit each day and with the Lord's help I will be victorious.
I Forebode joy. I also let fear keep me sitting on my impulses instead of acting. I plan to not sit on impulses and act as I feel right and not be so hard on myself if I don't.
A fear of not being able to cope, which for many years has felt like the difference between life and death. I’m trying not to see life in such black and white terms as it’s led to many unhealthy behaviours. I’m trying to let it go, but I think it will be a while before I get there.
My main fear is that my physical health may deteriorate and make my later years miserable. I plan to continue to work on fitness and core strength to avoid any falls that could worsen my health.
I have a fear of failure, a fear of letting people down, a fear that I'm not doing enough. I need to see a coach/counselor to help me hold all of this I have a fear that my health will fail. I need to keep working out regularly, eat better and see doctors.
I find I'm more aware of death than ever before: my own, my husband's, my siblings', my extended family members'. I'm not fearing death, exactly, but pondering it in a disquieting way more than I used to and more than I think is necessary or productive. It may (or may not) have something to do with turning 70, the age my mother was when her cancer was diagnosed; she died just five months later. I'm not sure how I'll overcome this increased awareness or let it go. Perhaps just continuing to process it will help me put it in its place.
I really fear being alone. It's limited me because I've hidden myself. I've assumed I was the cause of the pain and isolation I experienced in childhood - that if I could be someone else, it wouldn't happen, and I would be safe. But I want to let it go. To be both unafraid to be who I really am - let her be here, unjudged and fully loved - and to be able to be in relationship with others, without holding back, without being petrified they'll attack me. That was my Dad, that was the bullies. It's not today. I'm nice. And I know nice people.
I am afraid to be assertive and do not know how to give constructive criticism without sounding judgmental or harsh. I am afraid of pushback and conflict. This has made me something of a "yes man," and continues to limit me in my professional and personal communications. I hope to overcome this by being more direct in my conversations and providing solutions along with my requests.
my social anxiety got in my way this year, as it has nearly every year of my life. But that's okay! the answer is to breathe and to keep loving yourself. you're okay.
A fear of "not finishing." I have things I want to do -- sewing projects, books to read, books to WRITE. I am slowly moving toward doing some of these things, but I fear that I may not be able to complete them before I leave this existence. I stopped getting "new" sewing/crafts/needlework projects. Refuse to purchase anything else until I complete projects that are in front of me. I've slowed down on buying books, too. I am keeping a list of books I've read this year -- I pretty much could't read most of the past year, but since July my eyesight and concentration have improved. By keeping the list, I see that I CAN make great progress in this area. I reward myself for being able to complete projects. This way the fear will not consume me.
I'm often told I come across as confident. I'm not. I'm walking through life too scared to do all that much with it in case you all laugh at me, not with me. I want to care less. A lot less. And maybe start failing much more. Gracefully though, and with a smile on my face.
I have no fears. My life is blessed. Spending time worrying about the unknown is detrimental to my mental health
that my Multiple Sclerosis will slowly steal everything I enjoy, walking, moving, seeing etc. That it will limit me in my passion of eating, seeing art, seeing friends, traveling. I'm not sure yet on how to overcome it besides finally finding a good therapist.
I fear death. I’m working hard on letting it go rather than allowing it to consume me.
I am terrified my son is going to die. Any day. Any month. I am also afraid that the restrictions I (attempt to) put around him, to limit the likelihood of an accident or him doing something irreparable, are going to have the effect of depriving him of the opportunity to live fully. Such a difficult balance.
Hah I just read last year's response and well, I guess I've pretty much proved that I am not lazy. Actually I'm feeling pretty fearless these days. What could be scarier or more horrible than your husband killing himself and blaming you publicly? Seriously.
Right now, my biggest fear is that Nathan will not let me stay close, will push me away, won’t let me influence him. If this continues to be true, I will indeed let it go. There’s nothing else I can do; it’s not my decision. Although I can just keep showing up, offering kindness.
I’m terrified of where my life might go. I’m terrified of finding room for myself in this world and I’m terrified I won’t be able to. That has kept me for 27 years pretending to be someone I’m not. Trying to convince myself I should be dreaming of something else than I want. Trying to convince myself I should settle for okay instead of good. I’m trying now to face that. To take the bull by the horns and claim my life for myself. Because that’s who it belongs to.
I have always been anxious. For the last 6 years I have been fearful about having high blood pressure. I'm in good shape and I work out and I did not want to have to take BP medicine. I was also worried that worrying about it would cause high blood pressure. I had profound "white coat effect." I recently took my BP with a reliable home unit after a bike ride. I did not want to look but I did and it was 128/68 which is pretty good. I will confront this fear regularly but not rigorously or strictly. It was all in my mind and I was becoming a hypochondriac. Sounds crazy but our mind can dramatically exaggerate our fears, the more irrational the better.
I have a fear of succumbing to an autoimmune disease rather than fighting to overcome it. I hope to adopt a more holistic lifestyle and incorporate more activities to boost my stamina and determination.
I was afraid of my own heart. I had endured some scary episodes through the years but kept thinking that they would resolve somehow. I was afraid of what an exam would reveal and afraid of the meds - look at their side effects and you would run for the hills. At last I faced it with Cardio doc and Heart surgeon, and had an ablation done. Fear all over the place as someone is poking around my heart! However, it looks as if the symptoms are now under control and also I am rid of one med and may drop a second one soon. I should have faced this sooner and I could have alleviated that tension sooner. I will do what the Doctor orders from now on.
I have a tremendous fear of flying. I usually don't let it get to me, I just don't travel. However, I may want to go to Paris this August, so I'll have to get over it.
I am scared of going outside (agoraphobia). I have neglected the yard and it is overrun by invasive plants, fences are falling over, trees are unhealthy. I plan on working hard on the garden this year, removing invasives, planting more food, finding someone to advise about the fruit trees, and generally working on accountability for caring for this land I live on.
"fear of becoming tired." we know this is part of depression, and that it's complicated. after all, if i become tired, so what? even if... i still have 'stuff' to do? or... want to 'show up" a certain way with others? that can be SO EXHAUSTING. it limits me by sending me to bed (when i can pull that off) instead of, say, seeing a movie or something "fun" or being with others. I will continue to push thru. be true to myself. take care of myself. (walk in the woods even if i don't have the energy) be careful about when i say "YES" or "NO." be KIND to myself; not be punishing for feeling... tired. Heck. my life IS tiring most of the time.
I've been afraid to face my emotions about my father's illness. I'm hoping therapy can help me confront these feelings.
I have to let go of the rut I have lived in for a very long time and change my direction and I'm afraid of making the wrong choices. This has tethered me to the house which is in need of lot of work and I don't have the money for it. I am so neurotic about my life schedule and plans to work until I'm 70 so I will have enough to live on and help Zachary and leave him as much of my retirement as I possibly can. This may have played a part in Joe's decision to end us although what he did is in sync with his reputation; finding a new woman before he leaves his current one and "always being on the make". I was not able to keep my goals and add Joe to my life, I'd like to think there is someone out there with whom this could work. The house is a two edged sword, it is my refuge and sanctuary but also a burden. I really want a life free of the burden and close to my work and social life. There are many activities I miss because of the distance and driving time. To sell the house, get off the hill and still have a home that is a sanctuary and refuge.
I think this year I've noticed this fear of really going for it. I feel more confident, strong, and supported than ever and it's making me feel more okay taking risks. I want to embrace that and continue to put as much of my gifts into the world as I can, even if it means I might fail. So, I guess I fear failure, and I am working on letting that go--through my hair cut, through consulting, and through being more conscientious about how I spend my time.
Being able to support my family. Not sure how I'm going to do it, other than try....
I find myself with many ideas on this topic, none of which are things I’ve ever put words to. I think I most fear loss of trust in relationships. Trust is so fragile, yet I over-gift it and have a very hard time holding other people accountable. So I guess the real fear is speaking to my feelings and taking up space in relationships. I’ve been working on it, I’ve been trying to stay cognizant and make my feelings known. However, at the end of the day empathy gets the better of me and I can always forgive, I always want to connect. It’s limited me in terms of feeling understood and allowing myself to feel cared for. And that’s what I’m presently craving most. I wish I could better see and feel the rewards of speaking to my feelings.
I'm afraid of running out of money and being dependent on my family to keep me afloat. As a result I very often cut back on things that I do need to do,things like doctors appointments for specialists, repairs to the car or social events that have a cost but would ease my isolation. I'm learning to be more realistic about money and where I really stand , just spend what I need and let the stress level died down a little.
I‘m afraid of so many things.. myself, not knowing myself, disappointment that I might bring on others, to maybe have found the explanation for all of it and having no way to handle it.. it‘s an endless list.
I fear this horrid evil president and what he continues to do to this country. But I will not let it limit me, as it’s too important to the world my beautiful grandchildren will inherit. So I’ll do acts of tzedakah, like volunteering on the truck our temple is sending to the Texas/Mexico border, marching against guns, continuing to make better purchases to help the environment, and of course calling my representatives as well as voting. I have to take concrete actions and not let hate prevail.
I still have some fear in the areas of money and food. Though I've made progress in the past year, I need to make more. I'll continue with what I've been doing for the last year, and make a more concerted effort to include it in my everyday life.
I fear that I will never reach my full potential and that I will be stuck in the same place for the rest of my life. I fear that I will never get the opportunity to do all of the things so I end up doing nothing at all. The best way to conquer something is by doing it. Nothing will ever be done if you don't start.
Fear of not succeeding at whatever I try to do. I put the brakes on and don't try anything. I want to let go of my fear and just do it. Just for the sake of trying.
I think like many adults or children that were high functioning: I fear failure. This autumn I have set myself some goals (e.g. completing a self-defense course & learning russian). I have a fear of not being immediately good at things and I need to get into the mindset that I can improve if I keep working at a particular thing. This is essentially what I try to teach the children but when you are competent at many of the things they cannot, it becomes easy to become complacent. I don't want to rot as I get older. I want to be vibrant and open to new things for my entire life, especially if we end up having kids. I don't want to hold them back.
I'm afraid of becoming debilitated as I age and running out of time to do the things I want to do. I was so depressed for so long, I have a lot of lost time to make up for. It's frustrating. I feel like I have a new lease on life, which is great, but I only have so long to really use it. I resent the aging process because of everything I missed out on when I was too depressed to use my time optimally. And I'm afraid of becoming limited in my physical capacities. I'm not sure if I will be able to let go of this or overcome it. The only thing I can do is make the most of the time I do have, rather than letting the fear steal more time the way depression did before.
Still, definitely, rejection because of imperfection. At this point, I guess I just need to get the hell over it already. Last year's "Maybe a "What if it's fine? What if it all works out?" mantra would help. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" is interesting, because this year I discovered the "What if there's nothing wrong with you" Ted Talk, which is kindof the same and did stick for a while, and does again when I remember it.
Sometimes I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work we have to do and/or my experience in the task I'm trying to tackle. This has caused a bit of paralysis for me. I have noticed that if I go slowly, stay aware of my task, and stay open to my approach, I've been able to accomplish anything. But there's still some hesitation at starting a task that I would like to get rid of.
I am afraid that if people "buy" me, they'll "own" me, and I don't want to be in any sort of emotional debt I can't pay back. But I am trying to trust that the people who love me will never call in those debts, because that's not how love works.
My greatest fear is that I will never be content. What I want and what I want to want are two very different things. I feel incredibly stifled by my own desires and lack there of that I’m scared I’ll never live up to my full potential. Over the next year, I want to create a version of me that is happy and generally pleased with life. This means I need to figure out what it is that gives me purpose—both for myself and others. Today I broke up with a wonderful man because I didn’t have the energy or headspace for both him and my job. I chose work. Over the next year, I want to be able to choose myself and others over a job.
There are people I know that while I might not consider them to be good friends, are at least good acquaintances. However, their view of the world has become significantly different than mine to the extent that I have severe doubts that they actually are thinking when they voice their opinions. To the extent that I want to maintain my relationship with them, I have kept silent as while I worry about them, I don't have a good way of bringing up subjects related to their world view without the likelihood that it would end any relationship I do have with them. So that there is that fear, not of speaking truth (or at least the way I see things) to power but of not speaking truth to friends to the point of allowing them to live with what I see is a world-view clouded with fear and hatred.
I fear the continuing incompetence of the current US president. This has limited my choice of travel for the next years until he has left office as I have pledged not to visit the US again until he is no longer president. I will not be overcoming this fear until he is gone from the office.
I used to be afraid my husband would die and leave me alone. Over the years I have become more confident and self sufficient and my fears have changed. I am now afraid of my husband falling into dementia or other long term illness and being his sole caregiver. It's not that I don't love him enough to do so, because I do and would give him everything I can willingly. I just don't want that to be how we spend our last years together. I don't know how to conquer this fear although I suspect that over time my thinking will evolve and if necessary acceptance will come.
I think I am worried that things won't work out. But I just have to keep doing everything I can and hope that it does.
Fear of not having enough in savings for retirement. The 401k at work will help but may not be enough. I figure I'll be working until I'm 80. Plan to aggresively put money away (and stick to it!) will help alleviate those fears.
I'm afraid that I'll always be heavy for the rest of my life. Can't let this go myself so I'm seeking help on this one from my therapist. In the meantime, I'm trying to exercise regularly each day and watch my food intake especially sweets!
I have been fearful of trying to break my sugar addiction. For years this fear has stopped me from trying. But my new gym, The Exercise Coach, was running a dietary challenge and I agreed to give it a try. Maybe because I was asked directly... not sure what got me to say yes. But I did! And I feel great so far. In the upcoming year I plan on doing my best to stick to healthy eating in the house and for it to represent 80% of my food intake.
A few here. A big one right now is a a fear of basically losing track of my values; of becoming a Liberal - who speaks one thing and acts another. so the fear is sort of a lack of courage. Within and around this is a fear of unfulfilment; of feeling ineffective or purposeless. Of winding up in a job or path that I feel stuck in . Then again - ha! -when has that ever happened to me? I fear closing doors to identifying as an artist. Though I belive it is mostly a false binary. I sometimes fear that I am a bad person. That first fear; of being unsure and losing track of my values, has limited me by keeping me from choosing - from engaging with a new career path or organization. Within there too is the fear that I'll fail; that I wont have enough energy to suceed. I'm hoping this year I can slowly and mindfully plod toward some new decisions, baby steps, to eat thru the first fear; and similarly the second I thing would melt away as I start to engage. I think my capacities could deepen and my priorities could shift, and most beautifully, that I WOULD have space for what I want to do and what needs to be done. Basically, BEGINNING might hel me overcome these fears.
I'm afraid of lots of things. Mostly failure. I guess I'll overcome it by not failing. Or by handling what I do fail at with grace and trying to make sure that I don't let it become larger than it is. Moving on and finding ways to overcome it next time.
A fear of not having enough money. Save half my take home income.
I fear losing my spirit of loving kindness. I worry that I’m becoming hardened, cynical, shut down. I know there have been lost opportunities to connect with others on a deeper and more meaningful level. Why I have developed this tendency to step back and close myself off , I don’t know. It’s not me. It makes me sad and lonely. The remedy may be to spend time every day in thoughtful reflection, and to reduce exposure to the news.
My fear is losing my independence or my mind. My plan to overcome this is going to Switzerland and pulling the plug at the first indication. The sad part of this is if one could make a living will and voluntary euthanasia was legal one need not go at the first sign.
I have a fear of aging NOT gracefully, both physically and mentally. I want to be that old lady that my family hates to see go, rather than have months or years of caretaking and burden. I fear having a fine mind trapped in a body that doesn't respond. I plan to work harder at keeping the great good health I've been blessed with and elongating it.
I fear spoiling my kids & over-sheltering them. It's made me particularly strict around bedtime and street crossings and toy sharing. It's limited my kids' ability to show me that they can problem solve on their own. I plan to be more creative in how I keep them safe but still provide opportunities for them to make mistakes, work through emotions, and get to a solution with my guidance but without my strict direction.
The fear of rejection limits me in many ways. It has prevented me from submitting any of my writing, as well as even trying to date again. I need to remember a quote from a book I recently read--"There is no failure, only feedback."
Com esse governo de extrema burrice no Brasil, estão tirando nossa liberdade. Meu maior medo é a truculência. O horror que estamos vendo com o aumento da Miséria de forma sem dignidade aos negros, índios, e pessoas não evangélicas só esta piorando!
As I get older and inch ever closer to the 2nd half of my life, I fear coming down with Alzheimer’s - the worst disease there is. It robs you of your dignity, makes those around you pity you, and affects everyone around you more than you yourself. I am trying to stay busy, stimulated, and should try more word games to keep the brain “trained.”
I am afraid of many things. Right now I am afraid my body might prevent me from having biological children at least for now. I am also afraid of not knowing how to deal with my body. I am not sure how I will let it go. I need to take it day by day. I am getting a lot of support. I learned about Radical Acceptance - which was also taught by the Rebbe of Warsaw Ghetto, to have an acceptance of wherever you are, whatever you are going through but also to always hope that things will get better and keeping working towards that.
right now at this moment im afraid of all my debt driving me into homelessness (student loans especially), i hope to overcome it with increased income, and my son getting a job and maybe get child support
I'm afraid of failing. I think the limitation there is that it's been my primary motivator for most of my life. I don't know how to let go of it.
No fear. As always, I am the the brave one who steps the fuck up and does the tough stuff. It is fucking exhausting. My mother is in poor health mentally and physically, and my siblings are either too chicken shit or caught up in their own bs to be of much help. Yet they still feel free to second guess almost any decision I make, no matter how small. How I loathe them at times.
My answer from last year still applies, and I fear that Trump will again be elected. As I said last year: My biggest fear is for our country, the direction it seems to be going right now, with so many destructive actions being taken by the President and the federal government. I worry about the kind of world I will leave behind for my children and grandchildren. This fear does not limit me but I am not at the point where I think I can do much about this other than voting and letting my Congressional representatives know my views on significant matters. I do not have a plan to overcome this fear. I also have increasing fear about the lack of political will to take significant steps to mitigate the problems giving rise to climate change.
I realize I am afraid of people who have less than me--less money, yes, but also less access and power. I am trying to understand this fear. Is it that what I have might be taken? Maybe, but I think it is also that I recognize my privileges have blinkered me, and I don't know what I don't know. The work of overcoming this is the work of learning to accept my limitations, of becoming teachable, of moving with humility and asking more questions. I am being called to be a worker among workers. I pray I'm up to the task.
I fear that I will not have time to get an operation for my hip. I need to go see the doctor again and see how long the surgery will be and Recovery. I am circling retirement and I need to get this done before I retire but it won’t count toward pension if I take time off also worried that my son might not be able to help me because his girlfriend that has my granddaughter hates me. I really don’t have anyone that would be able to stay with me while I cannot get up.
I'm afraid of vulnerability. It's part of why I'm so shy, it's why I can't let loose in improv class, it's why my body language is so closed. It makes me afraid of forming meaningful relationships, especially romantically. I hope this year I can learn to be comfortable with being vulnerable. I hope I allow myself to open up to people and be genuine without always having to hide behind humor. I hope I take more chances in exposing myself. (Trying standup?)
This is a question that could undo me. I feel at this moment as though I am made of fears. They all trickle down to fears of not being good enough. Fear that I will not be able to weather this hard moment in a way that Jonathan finds acceptable, and he'll leave me. Fear that I won't be able to find things I love to do that will allow me to do them, that I won't measure up or be admitted to "the club." Fear that I won't do anything that I respect, won't achieve anything that I deem worthy. Fear that I won't find people who I connect to, won't matter in people's lives, won't be listened to, respected, and heard. Fear that I'll be nothing, that I'll be inconsequential, that I won't be enough for anyone. That I'll fall short even while trying my hardest. Fear that I'll never be happy again. Fear that my age makes me disqualified for happiness and success. Fear that I'm going to exist on this planet wanting, wanting, wanting and never being allowed in, for the rest of my days. Fear that I'm going to be alone and have no one who cares or wants to comfort me. I have so many fears, and they are strangling me. I do not have a plan for letting these go. I need to get a plan! I need to find something to start working me through this, rather than just sitting in it, day after day. I don't know, I don't know, I could say it all night. My plan is . . . to come up with a plan. Jonathan leaves for tour in five days. I need to get through these five days. I will focus on trying to find a place to rent, and on sending Jonathan off well, for the next five days. I will also be teaching a lot, two privates, my four classes, plus four subbed classes. Then Jonathan will be gone. I want to try the Fosse master classes. It's a way to work on dancing that class does not allow. Will I get a role in The Little Mermaid? I need to answer that question. That could become part of a plan . . . Find a rental. Find a routine. That is the first plan. Find something to do with other people that connects you. A group. Maybe spiritual. Maybe therapeutic. Maybe artistic. Ideally all three. Find that and . . . go from there. That's as much plan as I can say right now. But soon I will say more. That is the plan: soon I will say more.
General anxiety. I cope pretty well with everything. Fear doesn't feel great, & it can't usually be stopped in it's tracks, but it can be thoroughly gotten through or around; hence ignored.
I am not sure I have any fears! How fantastic!
I fear I will never get over not having another child. There isn't really an easy answer or fix here and time deciding is a blessing and a curse. I will try and focus on being more fulfilled as we are now with our wonderful sweet three children who are so so special.
Rejection in any type of relationship. I have overcome this (somewhat forcefully) this year by beginning college. I have to form relationships and build trust, even through there is a risk factor of rejection. I am able to do this because I know that I have a base of people back home that love me just as I am.
I’m afraid of not being good enough, which holds me back from putting myself out there in a wholehearted and authentic way. I am trying to overcome this by taking advantage of a number of resources I’ve recently discovered targeted specifically to women (I think this is an issue that is especially experienced by women). Also, I will start to highlight and build on those experiences where I have proved successful, as a foundation.
I am learning to meditate
Fear of money running out has limited me/us in the upkeep and care our house needs. And as a result, when we do begin to address the issues, they are bigger and in the end may well cost us more. Just because I was trying to hang on to the money. I am letting it go with that sinking in of a false sense of economy. Deferred maintenance leads to higher costs. It helps (?) that we had such a huge expense over termite repairs so that everything else seems minimal in comparison. I also remind myself that we still have resources available -- and I could get a job in retirement.
I have such a fear of what others think about me. It causes me to constantly worry and has changed the way I act and think. I want to let go of other people's expectations and have the only expectations I have been the ones I set for myself. I need to learn that not everyone will like me or my ideas. I need to stay strong and be true to myself.
I still fear dying alone, and now I fear physical and mental degeneration. I can see my body starting to fall apart and there's not a lot that I can do about it. Im doing what I can with exercise and better diet, but this is inevitable.
I am fearful of losing my hair. It is a vain and superfluous worry not rooted in reality. I fear that if I lose my hair no one will find me sexually appealing and that will greatly impact my feelings of self-worth. The reality is that I am more valuable than my hair line and people will continue to find me sexy. I've often stopped flirting with some people or generated stories about them seeing my hairline and having judgements. I've overcompensated and behaved in ways not true to myself in order to appeal to them and keep them from feeling these fabricated feelings about my hair.
Fear (plus frustration/worry) of never finding 'a way through' with some of my kids. It has limited me in terms of choosing to focus on 'trying to fix' (I really want to celebrate Life with them, not have a bunch of drama!) or badly wanting to be the 'peacemaker' and putting too much attention/energy into these intractable patterns rather than focusing on my own health, happiness, and projects. Doing my best get the lesson and release all this to the Universe, sometimes with greater success, sometimes not so much...
I'm in fear of not finding my better half in life. It's limiting my belief in finding the right man for me and how I meet men or trust them. I'm listening and taking advice of others on how to meet quality men and how to believe in that I will find him and he will find me. I need to overcome this bias thinking is giving other men a chance but sticking to my standards. Think before I give my heart but do try to open my heart again, it's been too long closed.
I am fearful that the nonsensical violence that has impacted so many people will hurt me or my family. I try to just go on with my life as usual, but that thought is always there now in the back of my mind. I think the only thing to do is just keep doing things to support gun control and keep moving on with our lives and not let it impact our decisions about what we do. But I don't know that it will ever really be off my mind.
I’m afraid of being misunderstood or not heard. That fear has led me to be silent when I should speak up. I’ll remind myself that I do belong where I am and things I have to say are valuable. I can only control my behavior!
If we have a kid, is everyone going to see me as a mother? HOW DO I STOP THEM?? I think I'm less afraid than depressed, honestly. Like ... why bother doing anything? Life is pointless. Work is pointless. I think existential anxiety is a fear that limits me. Perhaps I should continue meditating.
I am afraid that one day Laura will wake up and decide that this really isn't her thing. I think this keeps me guarded at times and ebbing-and-flowing to/from openness with her. I think letting this go and accepting the steadfastness of our love and her devotion will further us. I need to continue prioritizing quality time.
Ugh fear of communicating with my partner. I don’t open up to him and share about my life; I hate asking him for money - or for anything; I’m uncomfortable being honest with him about my emotions and reactions... I hate it. I hate that I can’t speak. That I’m not honest. That I’m emotionally retarded. I hate that we’re teaching our daughters how to be emotionally retarded. I hate that I’m not being MYSELF, not being authentic...
I listened to a speaker and he said most people are familiar with failure. What they fear is being a success. I think that I sabotage myself to give myself and excuse as to why I have not succeeded. I think being very disciplined will help. Making choices about my time and learning to set boundaries will help tremendously.
I have a fear that no matter what I do it is not enough and simultaneously, a fear of getting caught in a cycle of busyness that takes me out of experiencing the juicy experience in the slow and spacious aspects of life. It's like there is an internal gremlin that lives within me that judges every choice I make and turns it into a performance rather than an every day, every moment exploration. It is paralyzing sometimes to the extent that I choose not to act and sit in the tension of these conflicting fears. I want to continue to breathe spaciousness into my choices and remember that wherever I am is where I am to be. And whatever I do is what I am meant to do. Every day is an exploration and I can always make a different choice. When I feel paralyzed, I practice rooting down, surrendering to the present moment and remembering the resources that exist within me.
I am afraid of losing love, of not being accepted. I overcome it sometimes.
I have a fear that I won’t be remarkable. My emphasis on wanting to be big and special in the world has stood in the way of me getting what I most truly want, which is simply a life infused with love. Isn’t the aspiration for recognition just another quest for love? I plan on letting it go by following my own advice this year to just plant the seeds that are most important to me and tend to them without holding onto any destination or expectation. If my intention this year is to create without destination and love without expectation, that opens up a lot of space for ANYTHING to happen!
Honestly, life feels like a leap from one crisis to the next. I hope a year from now, I’m less fearful, but for that to happen, things will have to calm down a bit.
Fear of change, it keeps me from trying new things and explore my options and keeps me from being honest with people about myself for fear of changing our relationships. I've been working on it for many years, and this year I'm going to continue to remind myself that change can be good, and that if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I have been very scared about not being in a good position to fall in love, or to have a baby. I have also been afraid to not find a Jewish partner. Perhaps it's made me too choosy. Or too distant. Or too sad. I have no plans to fix this...or maybe I will just recklessly fall in love with this new goy Peter!
I fear that I can't stop pursuing "getting what I want" versus wanting what I have. I think it has limited my inner-peace and gratitude, and as a result my emotional fortitude. I plan on continuing to pursue therapy to become a better self-observer, emphasize on maintaining and building relationships with friends and family, and taking Shabbat more seriously as a rest from the material world.
I have a fear that if I am authentic and powerful, people won't like me and I'll die. I am afraid of people outcasting me. So I cater to other's needs and I worry a lot about being liked and what other people think. This has limited how I share myself creatively, it has prevented me from acknowledging what I want and asking for it, it has limited my ability to make money, and has made me unavailable to romantic partners. In the coming year, I plan to get comfortable taking more risks, listening to myself, acknowledging that it's okay if people don't like me or don't like my work, as long as I like me and like my work then my tribe will form. When I get butterflies in my stomach I'll take the risk. Sharing my writing, commanding money flow in my life, flirting with men, telling people how I want them to help me, being more selfish overall, letting go of the preciousness of how my friends or people in the industry see me.
My children are both multiracial, but present as a black male and a white female. I am afraid of what our society is going to tell them about who they are and how they get to go through this world. It limits me in that I am explicitly thoughtful in what we show them with regard to movies, tv shows, and books. I plan to keep learning about ways to empower them to use their voice(s) and express their opinion(s) - not just this year, but for the rest of my life.
Fear that something really bad is going to happen. Seriously, I need to knock it off. This year I plan on, with God's help, getting over it. Getting over it means that I resign myself to God's will - whatever it may be. Becoming unattached to a desired outcome. I want His will not mine and I'm not going to change His will anyways so may as well just submit to it. It doesn't mean becoming complacent or being stoic either. It means being honest with Adonai about my fears/concerns and then leaning on Him entirely as His will unfolds. He's worthy of this trust. How much time have I wasted being ridiculous about one thing after another. Enough already.
I have a low-grade, continuous fear that my son won't catch up to his peers academically. This fear persists despite all indicators to the contrary - he always does catch up, but tends to run a year or so behind schedule. I'm still wondering whether I'll regret my choice not to hold him back for a year.
I’m afraid to have an intimate relationship. I’m afraid of losing myself because that’s what I have always done. It has kept me from finding love, but I tell myself I’m ok with that. If I lose the excess weight I carry around, I might feel more inclined to take a chance on pursuing a relationship...or not.
Oh my... I fear that I’m simultaneously not enough but too much for everyone around me. I fear that my differences are profound and bar me from the things I want. I fear that my path has been wrong, that my steps were wrong... I limit myself. They all do. They all tell me I’m not enough. I breathe in and out, exhaling the spinning thoughts of negativity. I breathe in, cleansing, calm blue peace, and I exhale out the smoke from before. I’m just right, no matter what my differences. With every one of my quirks and me-isms, I am perfect.
I fear running out of days. I fear dying too soon, of ending this existence. There are so many things I want to do yet with my life. I turned 50 this year and I feel like I'm in a count-down. I want to see my grand kids grow up. I want to start my agribusiness. I want to celebrate 50 years of marriage with my husband. I know I want a lot. My fear has limited me like I have to pick and choose what I can do. Maybe I can turn the fear/despair into plans and goals? I know one thing for sure: I need to "Let God and let go." My timing is not God's timing. I need to have Faith, something I have been lacking a lot in my adult years.
Well. I'm mostly afraid for my son. I'm always afraid that there's something wrong -- like, really wrong -- and that he's in trouble. This thought makes me panic and doubt myself and him. It pulls me out. I'm going to trust that the problems he's having can be solved and transformed and that he has a path in the world; I just have to shepherd him, not save him.
The fear of not being enough. I'm going to pursue things that make me happy and work on not letting what others think of me hold me back.
Fear of being fully myself and having people judge me. I want to stop that now. I want to be myself. I'm setting the intention in motion and the universe will support me as I grow more. Failure is not possible.
I think everyone has a fear of what other people think of them. For some reason, ever since I turned 35, I have not cared as much. Like, I'll do something or wear a certain outfit and I'll think, "Is this weird?" and then immediately I will think, "You know what? I don't care. I'm happy with it and that's all that matters." Maybe it just comes with age, but I hope I keep this feeling and attitude going.
I carry this foundational agitation that is connected to my attachment wound. I also have a fear of surrendering to the deeper wisdoms that are all around and within me, and to the love that surrounds and is within me. The agitation lives way deep down in my belly. The Fear is in my head. A vigilant protector that is afraid to let go.
I am terrified for the country and the world. However, I would say that rather than limiting me, that fear has empowered me. I feel like the only way we get through the forces of authoritarian power and evil here, in Israel, in Europe, and really around the world, is to stand up to them in every possible way. Through this year, that's what I'll be doing to the very best of my ability.
I don't really have any overwhelming fears. I don't like spiders and if I saw a tarantula I'd likely freak out. But I'm willing to take risks and put myself in uncomfortable situations.
So many. I am making progress on my abandonment issues and social paranoia. I must just continue to take reality at face value, trust people's words, and not overthink intention where there is none.
I'm afraid of exhaustion. I have at times over the past year been more tired that I have felt in a long time, and while the exhaustion doesn't scare me, the memory challenges and inability to keep my eyes open, the distractedness - those are a risk to myself and my family. Eating well, exercise, and prioritizing sleep over fun (while still making time for fun on occasion) are necessary for this equation.
I fear the repercussions -- in my family, and socially of revealing that my body experienced the trauma of a family member's abuse of their sexual power. It has limited me from claiming my own full life story and pursuing some way of bringing my own healing to the world, and my own leadership to the world. The fear of losing relationships within my extended family. The fear of shame and stigma socially. In the coming year, I will ask for God's guidance and support to claim this portion of my life story for the purpose of bringing love and healing into the world, and helping to end shame and stigma for myself and others.
The fear that my child, even though he is 46, who has had ulcerative colitis since a sophomore in college has the chance of developing colon cancer ( 95%). Scares the heck out of me. Every time he has a colonoscopy, I am a wreck until he gets the results and that is every six months!!! Can't let the fear go and there is no way to overcome it.
I fear that I am not enough as I am. I am currently participating in an online course aimed at addressing this fear and at ensuring it is not passed on to my daughter.
I fear being disliked by others, and this fear often drives me to edit my speech and behavior in ways that block authentic relating and create unintended conflicts. I’ve recently begun a mindfulness practice that has opened me up to ways to work on overcoming this fear in the coming year.
My whole life I have struggled with the fear that I'm not doing enough. Despite always being busy with creative pursuits, work, travel, and social activities I feel guilty when I stop and read a book or just stop and watch Netflix. This year I want to work on building in downtime to my schedule and letting myself know this is okay. To do this I'm going to get back on track with daily yoga, reading before going to bed, and spending quality time with my cats each day.
I fear sudden challenging medical issues. We recently got to know our next-door neighbor much better, which has been lovely, but the catalyst for this new relationship is because one of the family members has advanced metastatic cancer. This came as a huge surprise and they are living my worst nightmare, especially as my mom had cancer; she died right before I left for college. Now that I am in my 30s it seems that all my friends are having a second kid, going through a divorce, and/or dealing with a family member's serious medical issue. I guess this is just "life." I have already had a sizable helping of "dealing with medical shit" and I am not looking forward to the phase of life where my husband and I have to bury (the rest of) our parents. But it sure beats the alternative. Just one more nagging reminder to do the things that matter now, as part of your daily life, and not put them off for some well-intentioned but uncertain future self.
My fear is running out of time and dying alone. I think I just need to accept that I probably will be alone when I die. And I am working on accepting that my life probably won’t be long. I’m so tired, and so tired of trying to live as best as I can ... and the world is such a mess... and the planet is in so much pain ... maybe less life is better. Not no life. But 20-30 years, instead of 40-50. Can’t really overcome the feeling of life being time limited when you are sick. Maybe overcoming being afraid of that? I don’t know.
I seem to fear having my own family. It may be me and a kid or me and a lover or me and a lover and a kid or kids. But my tribe. I am more solo than I want. I need to jump and let the next step (man/child) catch me or I need to open my hands and catch them.
It's hard for me to face my fears, meaning, hard for me to tell you what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of death and abandonment. Abandonment most of all. I hide my true self from a lot of people. I'm also going through an illness right now, fatty liver disease, that I could have done more about earlier in life and I'm afraid that it's going to kill me. I didn't address it before because I was chronically suicidal for so many years. I'm afraid that it's all my fault that I'm sick, even though I know that's ridiculous when it's a disease that is spreading rapidly in my society. It might be lifestyle based but my lifestyle is restricted by my class and our capitalist society. And I have no real reason to believe that I'm sick enough to die. But just tonight I got indigestion with a lot of abdominal discomfort and it stole my evening from me. I have so little time outside of work and I spent these hours coping with my fears. I took a benzo and some peptobismal and now I'm ready to do some navel-gazing. Are you supposed to let go of a fear? I think that's probably wise in this case. Nice work if you can get it. I'm taking steps to reverse my illness. I've lost 40 pounds. I'm going to start intermittent fasting again. I'm going to get a daily turmeric supplement and eat walnuts and beets. But this is me trying to assert control over my fear of death. The other half of my fear is the fear that I've wasted my life. I'm already 30 and I have nothing to show. That's probably a terrible oversimplification. But I feel like all my energy goes towards surviving. Today it took me two hours to get home because my car is in the shop. I went to the grocery store to get food and I was upset because that small detour added an hour and got me soaking wet in the rain. It feels like such an injustice that my life is so short and I spend so much of it struggling to meet my basic needs when I shouldn't have to. But then the thought occurred to me, is feeding my body and caring for it not the stuff of my life? Why do I resent taking care of myself so much? I don't have to be happy to be stuck in the rain. But maybe I'm afraid that I'm not worth it. I'm afraid that I should be making Art or something to prove to the world that I'm worth something. That I'll die forgotten and unloved. That might happen to me anyway. Maybe I should start acting like my life is worth it for it's own sake.
I still worry about doing the wrong thing - being afraid of not taking action when I should, or vice-versa. I am trying to patient and kind with myself and use this to motivate me to make the right choice. I plan to continue to work on self-compassion and patience in the coming year, and to encourage myself to take risks.
I am afraid about money, about having a kid (or not having a kid), about never being able to finish my book. I have no idea what to do about these fears; they feel natural. I don't know if they limit me but they certainly get me down.
I'm afraid of not meeting my financial goals. I just have to keep at it and not let anything stop me.
My biggest fear, when my mom moved next door last year and I became her primary caregiver, was that I would lose the last precious years with my child. That didn't happen; my kiddo and I have gotten even closer. Now I'm afraid of my life shrinking to nothing but work and caregiving, with no one to talk to about the troubles with my mom, when my only child goes off to college. I need to spend this year and next building up my network of friends so I have various people to call when I need to blow off steam and be politically incorrect about my mother's dementia.
I fear letting those down around me, and I think that it blocks me from doing what I actually want. I spend so much time achieving what others think I should achieve - proving them “right”, and, most importantly, gaining their acceptance and admiration. I think I need to make more decisions based on what I want. I am so inspired by those who speak up for their own needs and who put themselves first. What reason do I have to not do the same?
I am afraid to let go of my current relationship. The fear of failure has me unable to move. I don't even know what I want anymore. My mind and heart are so clouded with apathy, I am completely shut down emotionally. I have a potential work opportunity in a different province, I am hoping that the distance will provide me with some emotional clarity, and allow me to make a final decision on whether to leave or stay.
Shame and rejection. It's always shame and rejection. I let it derail all my excitement about writing. It's made me more anxious at work, too. I think I'm getting better at being brave--practicing bravery in one arena does help a little bit in the others. But I need to get better at facing shame and rejection head-on, and walking away in one piece.
I fear being left out. Left out of the joke, the clique, the married crowd. Left out of the possibility of intimacy, children, a family. This year I plan on letting that go by appreciating the friends, family, and relationships that I gave. Instead of being paranoid I will confront others and join the group.
I am slowly losing my fear of judgement. It isn’t something that can go away over night, I think I am afraid of putting myself first. However slowly learning to do thAt and it feels amazing.
Always worrying about disappointing my grown up kids. I have to learn that I can’t be there (they live in different states and a different state than me). I can’t help out all the time. I do whatever I can and it’s a lot. I have to learn to put myself first and not feel guilty.
I’m afraid of how my growth will impact my relationships. I am growing fast and forming new relationships with people I care about, and my family isn’t growing with me. I don’t know how I will overcome it yet, and I fear someone will get hurt - either me sacrificing or me hurting others.
I fear that I will always feel busy or that I won't fully absorb the richness of life. One way to work on this is to be more mindful of the good moments. I'd like to seek out more opportunities to be in nature and to feel free, unhurried, and open.
I keep thinking that I am not good enough... Things seem to be just out of reach... It has seemed that I have not been good enough for love of a good man, not good enough to get the better job, or any other job. But the reality is that I have to think G-d has it worked out and I just have to wait. I feel it coming.
Fear of failure. This stops me from even beginning new challenges. How to overcome it? Look around for people to help and support me to take a little step into the new, the unknown.
I fear extreme emotions. I have found myself praying so hard for mediocrity on more than one occasion. I think that really started happening after years of dealing with my father’s substance abuse, trying to hold my family together, and find my own way as a young 20 something. Lately, I’ve realized that I fear strong emotion in almost every form. Honestly I’m glad that I’ve made this realization, and in the next year I can try to reflect on this more and figure out what to do with that.
I have a fear of standing up for myself and setting boundaries. I do have a self-help book to help me out; I should read it again and memorize the great advice by heart. I think it's a fear because I'm afraid of "looking bad" or "mean" if I say something to stand up for myself and set my boundaries with other people who cross the line with me or come across too far in my personal life. I plan on letting this fear go by no longer caring what other people think of me. If they have negative reactions towards my assertiveness, so be it. It's their problem.
I have a fear, I suppose, of rejection-- whether in friendship, my creative endeavors, or love. A big task for me over the end of 2019/2020 is to release my grip on that fear-- when it comes to writing, especially. I want to be putting myself out there for criticism, judgment.
The biggest fear I've had lately is just getting stuck in places and situations that make me feel unfulfilled or anxious. One thing I've realized about these types of feelings is that I'm letting other people and things dictate my life and that is where I have been feeling stuck. For instance, I'm not comfortable applying for new jobs even though I've just started a new one because I'm extremely afraid of hurting anyone or their feelings. But ultimately the only way I will feel less stuck is if I take control of my own situations and while responsibly, take care of my needs first. Another major component of this that I want to continue working on is not taking things personally or making them too personal.
Well, I still struggle with a fear of being myself; it's a hard thing to learn--being yourself, seeing yourself through your own eyes rather than through the invented eyes of others, as I wrote last year. I keep having to relearn that, and I sometimes don't notice that I've gotten somehow sucked into neurotypical pressures and categories. When that happens, I lose any sense of self-worth I had gained, I find myself focused entirely on how I am wrong, rather than just how I am. Too much "should," not enough "am." If it gets bad enough, I get very disoriented. I just started to get my head back on straight (or neuroqueer, I guess) the other day, and day by day it's a little better. But this fear of being myself... it's really limiting, because it leads to me feeling/thinking that I'm not allowed to take up space, I don't actually have the right to want anything or need anything, I should just be grateful, and I should fear any sort of repercussion for daring to act in my best interest. All that from being afraid to be myself. So I will keep working on that, keep re-righting the ship whenever it starts to keelhaul into the neurotypical. Keep trying to articulate for myself and remember who I am, what I am, and how I work, rather than how I don't.
The beginning of the year, I was really fearful of losing my marriage. I think I have overcame it, with time. But, I also became comfortable to the idea of being alone, raising the kids alone. If I am not happy. I am strong enough to leave. I’m comfortable enough with my abilities to know I have it. I need to remember that and remind myself of that every year.
I fear disrupting my boys’ lives any more than they’ve already been disrupted. It’s like I fear success in publishing or doing anything that would interfere with the ordered life I live, because it would require me to call upon others for more help, and I hate that I still need help from others on a regular basis to care for my kids. I will not let this go; I have two non-driving kids. I will put my life on hold until they can drive and are more independent. They deserve that much.
My biggest fear is that I won't find my place in the world. I'm struggling to find a job description that I can see myself enjoying, I havn't found research on campus I want to join, and I can't even find a therapist to go to. I worry about that all the time and it makes me worried for the future. I'm trying to get over it and be more optimistic, I know if I do my best everything will work out
I'm afraid of how I am seen and whether I am judged as competent enough or not. I don't feel confident going back on the job market because while I think that I'm good at my job, I don't know if other people think I am and I don't know if I portray that on paper. I think at the end of the day I am going to have to surrender to this not knowing. It is rare to get feedback on your applications while on the job market, and I am not great at asking for feedback doggedly, so I think perhaps the best strategy is to look at what I know for myself to be true, and hold on to that no matter what the external results are. I'm not sure how to truly accomplish this, but I imagine I would feel much more free if I could.
Same answer as last year. I fear isolation as we age. Who will be concerned if we are silent for a few days? Also I fear the status of our country in the world’s eyes and the mediocrity of our governing executives. I don’t know yet how to resolve this.
I am afraid of my son dying - either by killing himself or by accident as a result of his drug use. This fear prevents me from loving him completely as well as being truly authentic with him. I hold back because I fear that any words I say might be the last words he hears from me. It prevents me from having a fully invested relationship with him, and that sucks.
I fear settling and being stuck. I fear boredom in my job - doing the same thing over and over again. I fear being subject to someone else's timeline. I plan on avoiding things that make me feel that way. I wouldn't normally call avoidance an answer for fear, but if that's what it takes to be happy, I will avoid things that make me feel stifled or trapped.
Never being with someone again: that's a giant fear. What can I do? I know all the ways at 30 or even 50. But at 70, completely healthy, happy, enjoying life in full but not resigned to being alone forever? Suggestions welcome!
David. Being attacked again. Him attacking someone else. Pursuing justice with my Title IX investigation. Elise. Impulsivity. Aggression. People thinking negatively about me. No contact order. Not caring about what she thinks or says or does. No one who matters cares what she has to say about me anyway. David. Rejection. Not being good enough. Male privilege. Talking to him if he has not reached out by PPD. Working to make other organizations more gender inclusive. Teaching him. Trying again, even with the threat of failure looming over me.
I'm afraid I won't sufficiently prepare by IB 3/4 students to succeed in the the second year (or that I'll scare off too many, and I won't have a 5/6 class). I'm also afraid that I won't adequately prepare my 5/6 to test as well as they'd like to. I'm afraid I'll screw up my "guinea pig" classes.
I have a fear of failing. I think a particular instance is back pack /tail cooking. But also in raising the boys, and though I'm pretty confident in my work, I don't want to mess up. I suppose I just need to keep trying things even when I'm not sure of success. With the boys, being willing to let them fail.
Fear of looking foolish, fear of failing, fear of being hurt. These are all interwoven and they limit me because I can be too cautious. I want to let it go by embracing the unknown. I need to accept that fear is helpful and also limiting.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure. These go hand in hand keeping me from taking risks personally and professionally. How do I let it go? One moment, one step forward in faith at a time.
I'm afraid of getting older and not being where I want to be in my artistic career. I don't know if I'll be able to let it go or overcome it, but I will try to focus on doing quality work rather than my fear.
There is the relentless pressure of work. Exercise helps a lot, as has quitting drinking. Plus the reward of doing a good job. But the feeling of precariousness will stay, because of the nature of my company. Health concerns is another fear: I'm getting older. I'm feeling very good now but the health scare earlier this year stays with me.
I have a great fear that I will never get to be a real part of my grandson's life. Adam is frustrated with his role as father because Kim is so stubborn and does not consider other people's feelings. Adam wanted so much to be a father but Kim is not letting him have much of a role. Hopefully this will improve as Levi grows but I'm not sure how much she will ever let us do. We love that little boy so much.
Running out of money. This year, stop compulsively planning and scheming and know that none of what I can imagine now for the future, good or bad, is what will actually happen.
I'm afraid of looking weak, and it often means that I don't ask for help when I need it. I'm trying really hard to trust people more, and let myself be vulnerable. It's scary!!
Fear of looking stupid. Messing up. Being unworthy. Being an imposter. Not knowing what I'm talking about. All that stuff, yeah. I think this practice of Life is my plan ~ continuing to be compassionate when I miss the mark, making amends when amends may be needed. Not running away from conflict, even when it's scary. Acknowledge the fear. Continue to be brave and courageous in the face of the fear.
The fear that I keep running up against is the fear that I'm not doing enough—of everything. This shows up in a lot of ways: sometimes, it leaves me frozen, while other times I pile on too much and then I can't do anything at all. It's hard to block out all of the outside world saying you should do this, you should do that, you need to be at x point in your life to achieve y. What I want to explore in the upcoming year is the idea of enough. What exactly is enough for a full life? Why do we chase this idea of not just a full life, but a life that's bursting at the seams? What do we gain from chasing enough? What do we lose? To that end, and to reflect on my answer last year, there is this idea of "purpose." Is it important that we have a purpose? On a fundamental level, I do think we crave it. I have a very vivid memory of six, being dragged to Greenwich to see the Meridian Line, and throwing an epic-level tantrum because I didn't see the point of going there. It took several minutes for my dad to show me exactly the significance of where we were, and a great deal of patience to articulate the "purpose" of our journey to a six-year-old child. In order to define what "enough" is, one must have a "purpose," or a "goal" of some sort. But what if the purpose is to have "enough"? We are still left with the question—what is enough?
That I am not enough or not worthy. I am smart and I work hard. I am enough and I am worthy.
I am afraid that I am faking my way through my success, and maneuvering to appear successful. I need to challenge myself to achieve what I want to achieve, and not hold back
I have recently developed a near clinical hypochondriac fear of having some sort of fatal disease that will cut my life short quite soon. It has a particular focus on heart failure. The first step is seeking help from a therapist but also getting my health check-up done to allay the fears I have with data.
First things first, I am struck by looking at my response from last year to this question. It's inarguable that I am doing better this year than last, than I have been for a long time. That's something to appreciate, and to be proud of. That being said: What am I afraid of? I'm afraid that I'll continue a cycle of fucking up. I'm afraid that I'm going to screw up my current job like I did my last, my current grad school effort like I did my last, and that each time I do, my opportunities shrink and my horizons narrow. I'm afraid that my negative self-talk has more than a grain of truth to it. In the coming year, the most important thing to do it keep trying. "Fail, fail again, fail better," as some silicon valley douche once either said or appropriated. Or, as my therapist said today (and Wow is he good at naming the obvious things that I've always failed to realize), "Functional people have problems too." Having problems, having shortcomings, having room for growth -- these are not the same as being bad, or being dysfunctional. It's in how I choose to respond. No more sending in the firefighters. I have to keep showing up. Keep failing better.
One fear that always comes back is around settling here in California—getting too attached, or wrapped up in my relationships, or selfish/abandoning/distant from my family, or letting my life pass me by before I make a conscious choice about what life I want to grow into. I want to notice the fear when it comes up and gently let it go, and understand more about the roots of where it comes from in me—intergenerational holocaust trauma? Attachment? Yearning to be connected to my family with healthy boundaries and not knowing how? I want to feel all the resources and growth around me and remind myself to trust when it feels right, if ever, to make a big move. It’s not now and I can relax into that knowing.
I fear that Trump will be reelected in 2020. All I can do is volunteer and donate to his Democratic challenger.
I have fears about medical health - I will get checked by the appropriate doctors. I will exercise, and eat well, and sleep, and clean my body. I have fears about loneliness - I will show up when I am invited to things. It will take a burst of courage, but I tend to regret more the things I don't do than the things I do. I have fears about death - I will study philosophy and make the most of my life. I will express gratitude regularly. I have fear of being unloved - I will love people and not push them away with judgement. I will welcome people into my eye contact, and conversation, and time - even 2 minutes can make a difference.
I always fear that I am unqualified for the tasks I've been given, that my impostor syndrome will be found out and I'll be summarily drummed out of my job. But the thing is: I'm good at what I do. Everyone says so. So it's time to trust the people around me and just fuckin' do it.
I fear not being able to live life to the fullest. I understand that I need to live life in the moment but also prepare for the future. I want to never have to worry about money ever again. I want to put a lot of work up front so that I can go ahead and pursue other riskier more fulfilling endeavors to get the most out of life.
I’m afraid of getting my heart broken again. It’s making it hard to be friends with people, because I’m trying to distance myself from people all the time. I come off so cold. But I’m going to work on being more brave this year. I have to— we’re not meant to be alone.
I fear making the wrong decision all the time. It has limited me in that every choice I make is agonizing and takes time away from me being able to actually enjoy life and the product of my decisions.
I have intellectual commitment issues. I fear choosing a path, and the doors that close with it, so have languished in indecision, refusing to acknowledge a major, or a direction. I think I’ve written about this issue already in this 10q, but it has been on my mind! I’m excited to be forced to choose, and to be excited about that decision. I want to be decisive! It’s ok to choose wrong, but you’ve gotta choose first.
Rejection and being alone. Putting myself out there and being confident in who I am. Not everyone is going to like me and what I have to offer. That really is okay though, as long as I'm the most authentic version of myself, I will attract the right people.
I fear our president will be re-elected. I try not to watch too much news or put too much weight on impeachment talk.
This is not an area that I struggle with.
Fear of how my body is linked to my identity. Fear that I have to stay bigger or I'm 'betraying the Fat-ser-hood'. Fear that I'll lose weight and everyone will say 'wow, you look amazing'...which reinforces negative stereotypes about how bigger people look. I have to find a way to make peace with how my body might change because I've found exercise that I love (lyra and aerials etc), and also recognise that other people's comments about my body don't matter...and to find a way to challenge other people's perception that 'thinner bodies are better'.
Missing out! Or letting people down. Which means I try and do too much. But I’ve been better this year and by setting time aside to just keep clear and be at home hopefully I will get more balance and see the joy of spontaneity!
I have a fear of my own nature of my own truth, the fear that I am silence, consciousness, and that I do not exist mentally, and all these things that feel real like my beliefs, identity, thoughts, emotions, desires, etc are all illusions and what’s the point of living if all the constructs are NOTHING but delusions. This fear has caused a lot of confusion and fear and paralysis of whether to focus on transcending the mind or solidifying my mind and stabilizing my life in the world and in relation to my identity. I plan on overcoming it by just allowing “myself” to just relax into discovering “myself” in little increments, little insights, more subtle experiences of peace and joy rather than any shebang/enlightenment or peace, to release the need to know mentally my true nature is, and just enjoy the present moment, be grateful for and cherish the fact that I experience all of the facets I get to experience in life, including THIS ache and fear and struggle. I plan to be able to solidify both my spiritual path through stepping into identify and the world and connection and joy and exploration and risk and play and Art/expression and newness and tradition.
the fear of failing. by not applying myself to a thing, i need not worry that i will fail at it. hence... i've limited myself from.... I don't know what. much. in the next year... i've got to not cut myself off before i start. sometimes i spook; take the easy route - the path of least resistance. (when "yes" is easier than saying "no".) this year I want to be more determined. more deliberate. set goals and achieve them - even the small ones - to work up towards whatever BIG one i haven't been brave enough to hone in on yet.
This may sound arrogant or delusional but frankly there's not much I'm afraid of these days. I think that I can distinguish things that are important to me from things which are not, and I feel as though I can pursue the former and ignore the latter.
I'm afraid of rejection. It's limited me in almost every aspect of my life. Professionally... socially... artistically... romantically... I need to embrace who I am and NOT who I should be. Time to get over being embarrassed. Not everyone will like who I am or what I do. I shouldn't be afraid of putting myself first.
I have a fear of not getting enough done. Of not doing significant work. This fear tends to paralyze me and I waste time and get even less done. In the coming year I want to set manageable goals and be energized by small accomplishments.
I have a fear that this country will blow up. It has been three years of tremendous awfulness and it continues to get worse. All the bums need to be thrown out. We need to heal as a country. If we can. Things have been broken badly. Tonight was the pull out of Syria leaving the Kurds to die. This time next year we'll be getting ready to vote. I really don't know what's going to happen between now and then. RoJo needs to go. This is a bad, bad road. I'm consuming news like crazy. It would be nice to have enough peace of mind that I don't have to do it every day. And so it goes...
A fear? I have loads. Apart from flying, which doesn’t limit me so much as cost me extra to travel by train, I’m not sure that I do allow my fears to limit me. I may be deluding myself and all the decisions I’m making may all, unconsciously, be based on fear.
My fears about whether I can actually get my business off the ground are still hanging there, although with the forward momentum I've gained this year those fears are a bit less than last year. I know I could be successful if I could just get some clients started. The free programs I've been offering are getting people great insight and results, so I suppose now my fear is just that it won't happen soon enough. I also worry about my husband's job. He's good at it and I know he does a lot of good for the company, but it's wearing him down and he is struggling a lot now. I worry that if he loses this job for some reason (or our finances take a hit), that we'll be in really deep trouble. Which then adds extra pressure on me to get my business generating income.
I'm afraid of being myself sometimes and I think that's caused me to over-monitor my behavior. I want to be more mindful of the positivity in my traits and not throw the baby out with the bathwater - to be more sure of myself.
The fear that I'm not good enough, that others don't like me or only pretend to. Very deep-seated, very real. How do you let go of something like that? I'm not certain. Perhaps watch some TED talks, investigate what others have done? Maybe be more open to others, check in with them, listen to them and ask their thoughts? I'll bet I'm not alone in this. But how to start such a conversation? IDK. Feels pretty bold.
Doing stuff outside of my comfort zone. Most fears are overcome by doing it.
EVERYTHING IS TERRIFYING, I WISH I COULD BE FREE OF THE LIMITS OF MY HUMAN FORM. An actual fear though is probably making the wrong choice about my career decisions. I'm just going to try stuff out and see what happens.
Landfillphobiitus. The fear that the entire planet is turning into a dump. I hope to grow my fears bigger and bigger.
Fear of looking silly, or making a fool of myself. It has held me back from speaking my mind and truly engaging in work and personal relationships. In order to gain the self-confidence I feel is needed to break that cycle, I have to gain a better understanding of who I am and what my opinions are. I believe it would bring a sort of deep-seated confidence that can fuel the other changes.
My answer from last year is completely true. Still. "I continue to worry about climate change and political unrest and the mistreatment of people who are not rich and white. I'm afraid of bad things happening to my family. I don't know how that limits me except emotionally tying up energy." I wonder if I will have a different answer next year. I don't know how to let go of it or overcome it. Except to enjoy life as it is and be open to what it can bring. That seems naïve and privileged.
I fear that I am growing old and am unable to do the things I used to be able to do. I'm not really that old - just 50 - but my body has changed, and it's not as easy to do many of the same things I used to do. I'm certainly not going to stop living or trying to be a better, stronger person, but sometimes my moods hold me back. I think if I am aware of this and make an effort to NOT give in, I can prevail.
My current fear is simply not knowing. Not knowing what I'm doing with my life, if what I'm doing is the "right" thing. I don't know if I can truly let this go, but I can actively tell myself it is ok to not know. Even if I don't believe it right now, I think the more I repeat it, I will start to internalize it and truly believe it.
I fear the unknown. It makes me worried and anxious. When I'm not in control, I become overwhelmed and unable to process my surroundings. It sometimes even cripples me and I can get lost in my head. I plan on overcoming this in the coming year by exploring my struggle through counseling. I want to go to the dark places in my soul to find the root of my fear and to break that way of thinking.
I am afraid of being chastised for not doing enough. I’m planning to continue to just work at a pace that I am comfortable with, rather than trying to burn myself out working huge amounts of extra hours. And day by day, I’ll remind myself that what I’m doing is enough.
A.D. mentioned an interesting point at our Rosh Hashana seuda. He said people commonly fear failure but what they really fear is success. S. added on well to it, saying failure often means things stay the same, whereas success means change, and many people fear change more than they fear failure. I think I fear change and use this to self-sabatoge a lot. I’ve failed many things or missed opportunities because of it. I plan to push myself harder, to use mindfulness and manifestation to clearly visualize my life when I succeed in different areas and use this to make it a reality. I also deeply fear being alone. It has limited me by causing me to be clingy or needy to the point where I end up driving people away. I think I need to work on this by strengthening myself and the things I enjoy doing alone, specifically working on my hobbies. I think externally I can work on this by strengthening the relationships I already have, making them deeper and more substantial, talking about “real” things.
I'm scared of failing, of not being good enough, of letting down my husband and myself. I'm scared I'll look back and regret all the time I've wasted just watching TV or dossing or scrolling facebook or reading articles. I'm scared I won't achieve the things I want - writing my book - because I won't / don't / haven't so far commit(ed) enough to finishing it. I can let go by being a person who does stuff. I want to go on a writer's retreat, even for 4 days or so. I think that will really help me immerse myself in it. I need to be more disciplined about writing even for 20-30 minutes a day. I need to keep at it and just do stuff. Just write the goddamn story.
I'm really afraid of a painful death before my time. Not sure how to overcome that!
I have a fear of going places by myself. I hope to get over it and learn to be on my own.
Fear of rejection. It limits me from my full natural expression of life force energy, creative energy, joy and freedom. I just plan on expressing it more, and holding myself through any feelings of rejection or abandonment. Relationship to self, relationship to god.
I have always been in fear that other people's opinions (OPO's) actually matter. When realistically, they don't. Other people are not concerned about me or what I do - other people are wrapped up in themselves (and most likely concerned with other people's opinions too). I am going to continue to work towards living my life free of restriction, because I know very well that on the other side of it, is happiness, joy and freedom.
I have a fear of not enough-ness. I have negative self talk that breeds in my head like a virus. How do I plan on letting it go? Good question. Breathe light and love into the recesses of my mind, act consciously and pray.
The culturally developed fear of scarcity - that I am not enough, don't do enough, won't make enough, etc. The first step is recognizing it. Check. I'm trying to overcome this fear the same way I deal with anxiety. Notice, but don't engage. Replace messages of scarcity with prayers of gratitude. Practice chesed, through which I discover that not only do I have enough, I have some left to give. Hopefully in the next year I will achieve balance between mindful giving and exhausting myself.
I'm really afraid of insomnia, to the point where it's the sickness I fear most (after cancer). It's a really scary feeling to be lying in bed in the dead of night, completely powerless and at the mercy of your pineal gland, which just refuses to release melatonin. Too often, I've succumbed by taking Xanax because the thought of having a night of no sleep at all and then feeling like crap the next day is too scary. I'm planning to overcome this fear by refusing to take Xanax when I can't sleep. I won't be able to do it when I'm pregnant; Lindsey and Dr. Wang told me that the Xanax is more likely to harm the baby than a few bad nights. Lindsey also asked me to outline a plan for when I can't sleep, which I did.
I fear commitment to yoga, Judaism, feminism and music. I believe it is self-limiting, based in a fear of losing my connection to my love since he does not share these interests. I plan to follow my interests, sharing them as best I can with him, and through that, enrich my connection to him.
I’ve feared hurting others by expressing my needs and acting on my own behalf. I’m slowly learning to put myself first. Practice makes perfect, right?
I fear becoming stale as I try to navigate from one crisis to the next. I guess I have to keep on exercising the new self care muscles that I've been developing.
I do not feel very afraid of anything, to be honest. I suppose I fear being in poor health, to some degree, but I've made good changes to take care of myself and my family.
I guess I am afraid that I won't ever be able to truly feel "safe" or "relaxed" or "fully enjoying" relationships or be able to be successful at work because of my anxiety and OCD. I want to focus more on the now vs. the future, and not just focus on trying to please. I'm afraid I am a bit too broken and will never feel like I can "settle" into something, especially relationships. I thought I could never "settle" into work, but than I started to, so that is neat. I want to not think so negatively, and especially not just share the negative with people, especially friends.
I live in terror about shul security, and there's really nothing I can do to let it go or overcome it; white supremacy has been unleashed and there are potential shul shooters aplenty. If my shul had real security it would make me feel marginally better, but even so I know that we're putting our lives into our hands whenever we walk into any shul, especially on a major holiday.
I am limited by not feeling good enough, not getting enough done. That limits me because I eternally struggle to get everything done just right before I can ___ (fill in the blank) - relax, rest, enjoy, read, contemplate. Maybe an end run would just be adding the relax/rest,enjoy/read to the list, and giving it some priority. I've done a little better with that on friend time time year.
It's a little sad that my answer has not changed from last year, but anxiety really is an awful thing that makes it extremely hard to just live. I want to be less afraid to live. I want to just embrace each day as it comes and be the best version of myself that I can be.
Sadly, this has not changed from last year. Not sure that I am any quieter than I was last year, but I still fear conflict. I do think about it and try to speak up more than is my habit, but then again, I don't want to obsess over my own failings - seems too egocentric. I work on accepting myself, but still trying to improve. In a class it was suggested to work on your strengths and figure out how to leverage your weaknesses, because you will not change your essential nature (not sure I have that exactly), the message being that if you are bad at, say, memorizing statistics, you might do better to figure out how to have the stats at your fingertips, or hire someone who is strong in that area, than spend hours memorizing. Anyway, I'm working on being more upfront with my thoughts and opinions, but can also recognize it as a facet of my internal strength.
I am scared that this is going to be the best time of my life, even though I feel like things could be a lot better. From here on out I am just going to age and my health is going to deteriorate. I guess I can try to let go of this by having interesting experiences now while I am young and active. But I also need to realize that there even though some things get worse, there are also benefits that come with getting older.
I fear making the wrong decisions as I make these big life/career decisions over the course of the next few months. I fear choosing the wrong job or moving somewhere I'll hate, etc. I hope to let some of those fears go by reminding myself that nothing in this life is permanent. If I hate my new job, I can find another one, if I hate the city I move to, I can move somewhere else.
When I look at my answer from last year, I realize that I'm less fearful in general than I was then...but also, I would like to think a little more focused and pragmatic. I feel increasingly aware of (at 73) having a finite amount of time (to do the infinite number of things I'd like to still be able to do. I'm trying to keep this knowing near to me, in hopes it will keep me better aware of the preciousness of whatever time I have left so that I may husband it more carefully ...and at the same time, taking time out to allow myself to savor as many of the passing minutes as I can (like walking out of our studio building and seeing an interesting sunset). So rather than letting go...or overcoming...it's more a being aware and dancing with.
A fear I have is a fear of people. I plan on overcoming it by being outgoing.
Heights. I try and do things that are out of my comfort zone (rock climbing, zip-lining).
I think my big fear right now is how this country is coming apart - it's scary. I think voting, doing some volunteering, etc. will help.
My fear of being judged has kept me from making friends, and improving on my health. I hope I will confont this fear and that it wont be something I take into consideration anymore.
I have so many fears and worries. They are so limiting it is paralyzing at times. Some include: fear of not being good enough, fear of being fired, fear of disappointing family, friends, and colleagues, fear of failure, fear of not being successful "enough" and so on and so forth. I plan on letting it go and overcoming it this year by faking it till I make it. I will take the time that I need to work on it, but also to rest and recover as need be.
The strange fear of making choices. I am horrible at making choices. Coming year I want to work on my decisiveness .
My biggest fear is something bad happening to my kids. I'm not sure how to overcome it. It is just a background noise kind of thing. The only thing I know how to do is to acknowledge it and ignore it. It doesn't serve anyone to dwell on possible tragedy.
I'm worried that I'll fall into another bad place with my mental health and that I'll spiral. I've been in therapy for 3-4ish years now and that helps to work on my fears. Letting it go will be a fucking process. I think I'm improving. I think another fear is that I'm not growing or progressing fast enough. I think what's hard is watching other people's lives on Instagram or some form of social media and seeing that either they're doing more social things or traveling more or their jobs are taking off or their relationships blah blah blah. It's hard not to compare myself, so I've been distancing myself from social media or staying off it completely. It really helps me just focus on what I want to do and where I want to be.
Today, it is a fear of wasting time. Fear of not going back to school for MBA, fear of not being successful, fear of not being good enough. I had to take one day at the time. Stay focused. I applied to MBA, so chances not going back are slim, I will work hard and stay positive in order to be successful.
Health and money issues. I would hope to find better job, but I am afraid I can not do it.
what fear? fear my bf doesn't love me as much as he loved his ex? fear that the bugs will come back or never left? fear that I'll never again feel financially secure? fear that I've lost my only, best chance to sing? fear that my foot will never heal? fear that my brother will die? fear that he won't, and my parents will, and I'll be in charge of his life? fear that my assistant will quit? fear that . . . we're moving toward living under a fascist regime and that T won't be impeached or if he is it will somehow get worse and the haters will feel more empowered and will show their true selves and will set us all back 100 years in every way--regulation, civil rights, protections . . . ?
I think my fear of not doing things the right way. I often think of how things went last year. I had just started a new job and I wasn't ready for a baby. And now I feel like I'm ready but the rest of my life isn't. And I saw my co-workers child who was born when mine would have been and it was hard. I didn't expect to still want it so much. And if I just hadn't worried about doing it the right way I might have that. I think I'm over it. There is no right way.
I fear that I am not the kind of parent that I want to be. It makes me spend a lot of energy wallowing in guilt about losing my temper, or about not wanting to spend more time with my daughter one on one. I hope that as my life becomes more balanced and I feel more content overall that I will be able to let this fear and guilt go and just enjoy her sweetness while she is still small.
I was taught at a very early age that I am shameful and that everybody is looking at me and laughing at me. I still fear that and worry about it, even though I am a million times more mentally healthy than I was. How do I plan on letting it go? Hmmm, by continuing to tell myself that it isn't true and that I have to crush F's (my "mother's") thoughts. How else??
I've been afraid that life would bring me challenges to learn from instead of comforts to rest in. I adopted this belief from my parents and now know that it isn't true. I will see possibilities of comfort and peace where I once saw only conflict or oppression!
My fear of driving has made my life a lot harder.
That I cannot control my impulsive responses to my husband that are not nice. I have been using Mussar and it is helping me to bring my impulsivity under control. I will continue this discipline.
I'm still afraid of speaking up in uncomfortable situations. I hesitate to say what I really need or want for fear of how it may come across. I've made some progress in this arena over the past year, specifically the last few weeks when I had to push hard for what I had been promised at work and resist what I thought was poor treatment. I plan to build on that experience and to remember that, as uncomfortable as it was to assert myself in that way, it was effective, and I was able to do it in a way that still preserved my relationships with all the people involved.
My first answer was "what am I not afraid of?" but I don't think that's as true as it once was. I am in a romantic relationship that helps me grow and asks me to believe that my worst fears aren't always (or even ever) accurate. I think the fear that most limits me these days is my fear of the future changing, my unwillingness to accept & live with the future as a fluid thing. Once I make a plan, I just want to live in that plan; I don't want to make room for the way life laughs at my plans. I'm not sure how exactly I can plan to let that go, because I think it's part of who I am as a person. I can certainly change how I approach it, though. I can, at minimum, sit with those thoughts and anxieties when they arise and say to them, "it's ok that you're here, but there's nothing I can do about this right now. I am going to live in the moment and address this when I actually need to."
I am afraid of losing my job. Ever since I lost my job in 2017, i've been paranoid about this.
I have a simultaneous fear of failure and success. I'm afraid of living out loud, proud and leave the past behind me. And I can slip into the past and my old ways of being fairly easily and sometimes often. I will continue to explore freedom from my past and to embrace an unknowable future. I will be full of curiosity, hope, and joy.
I suppose I fear not having a future. This has meaning to me in many different ways, in different facets of life. I fear that I will never get on-track for the things I'm supposed to want to have: a career, a relationship, etc. These things are framed in such a way that if you don't start now (here at 23), you will never have them. I'm not even sure if I want all of that, but I fear not setting up the foundation for it now because that's what all the future rests on. (If I don't have/start building these things, will I even have a future?) Or so I've been told. I fear not having a future because I've been a made a victim of a National Tragedy, whatever that means at the time. Will my narrative/life be wrested from me like Chanel Miller or Dr. Ford? Will I be murdered by a misogynist/white supremacist? I fear not having a future because of climate change. What is the point of fearing the lack of a professional future when the climate crisis and the deliberate ignorance of rich people/capitalists will make "normal" life impossible?
I still carry plenty of social anxiety and an inexplicable worry over intimacy with Karen, which seems perennial. Continuing to push myself to face social situations and expressing my affection for Karen daily are my means of pushing forward.
I fear aloneness. I fear financial insecurity. I fear being overwhelmed. I plan on overcoming this by going toward love. My making clear financial goals. By staying present.
I have a fairly consistent struggle with lack of belief in my own abilities. In the past I have embraced failure strategically, as a manifestation of weaponized insecurity. This is a lifelong struggle, which I am not fool enough to think I will suddenly overcome in the course of a year, but I do hope each year to bring more courage to my work and my relationships in order to keep moving in a good direction. How do I do it? With as much awareness and kindness toward myself as I can muster.
I have the fear of failing. I’ve had it a long time and I struggle to allow myself to ingest that I could never fail because God has my hand. I want to be more adventurous so that I can overcome the fear of failure. It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. As long as I continue to pray, listen to God and “just do it” everything will be alright.
driving to places that are not familiar to me . I end up not going to that place. I am really not sure. Making sure I find someone who will help me with directions. That is they will give me directions that I can follow and taking uber.
Fear of success, fear to love, fear to be myself. These fears have been limiting myself to reach my full potential.
Fear of being eaten by a bear or attacked by a mountain lion. I'm about to go primitive camping in the mountains next week, so I guess I'll be facing that fear pretty soon!
The fear of not being enough. Of failing. Of disappointing. Of missing out. I'm not fearing these things as much anymore. I might fail. But so what? I'll learn from that and adjust and try again or in a different way. I might not be enough for someone else but I'm learning that it's beautiful to be enough for me. And I'm the one true constant. I might miss out and I might disappoint. But I also might not. And I can't go back and change time, so I better get comfortable with what already exists.
fear of limiting my eating. am tackling this head on, from recording what I eat to as a household eating lower carb/consciously even better. and no snacks when I drive!!
Letting go of the past, my stroke , acceptance for that it did happen and that I might not be able to walk normally again
pregnancy, motherhood and all that entails can come with fear, but I will trust my instincts and my tribe around me.
My teeth scare me. Slowly rotting away and requiring thousands of dollars to get my smile back. I fear mostly just continuing to struggle to find sufficient income, and hope I find plentiful and meaningful work in the coming year. I confess I will not be fasting tomorrow either, which makes me fearful that I may be tempting fate, though I also truly believe that my higher power is not vengeful, and that I live my life in a way that often acknowledges god. I atone daily, so the once a year thing doesn’t feel so compelling. Besides, I have no shul and no fellow Jews to daven with, which also plays heavily into my decision. Maybe next year? God, please forgive my transgressions and show me how to better serve your grace. Ever. Grateful.
I am afraid of judgment. I know I shouldn't, but I think a lot about what others thing about me. Am I smart enough? Am I reliable? Am I funny? Or am I not that smart? Am I a flake, unreliable? Am I obnoxious? Do my friends get annoyed when I ask them to hang out? I think this is something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life in one way or another. I am finally able to admit, that in my perfect world, everyone would like me. It's unrealistic, but it's how I feel a lot of the time.
Fear: people will be disappointed in me. Limits: I don't welcome people into my home. Plan: Focus on hospitality as a feeling and atmosphere.
Bad health is my biggest fear, and I’m going to keep working at losing weight and walking.
I have had some falls this year and have injured myself. I recovered from a bruised kidney pretty well, but I twisted my knee pretty badly. Nothing broken or torn, I think, but recovery has been slow. My knees have become problematic. So, I find that unconsciously I worry about falling. I do not want to become too wary of going out and doing things. I like being pretty fearless when I do stuff. Unfortunately, what the mind dictates, the body does not always follow. I find myself automatically cringing/bracing myself when I am near the location of my last tumble (okay, I didn't trip, the side of a trench gave way, but now I unconsciously question the stability of the ground). Not sure how I will overcome it except to go out and do stuff in spite of my unconscious, atavistic misgivings. Mind over matter or, rather, body. I've been reading about infantry soldiers in WWII. They were always afraid. They just learned to push on. I hope that I can overlay enough good experiences that can bury the few bad ones. I need to balance a sensible caution with wanting to move about the world uninhibited. Unhindered. Freely! Tally ho!
Social anxiety, it's really bad. I'm scared of doing or saying the wrong thing and looking stupid or looking like I don't belong. I plan to not let that stop me from what I want to achieve.
The fear I have is failure. Avoiding tasks and people who may cause negative feedback. I need to start journaling my negative feelings and combining them with some positive gratitude journaling so I can be willing to face, if not accept, some of the negative things in my life and move forward on the positives.
Same as the last two years, verbatim: I'm afraid that I'll regret, later, that I didn't take better care of my body now and establish better habits. I'm worried about my cholesterol and my weight and heart disease and cancer risk and all those fun things. And the worst part is that I can do something about it, but I'm not right now! In the next year of my life, I would like to get back into a fitness routine and start eating more healthfully in a more regular way. That's all just been put on the backburner with other life changes, but I can feel my body not working as well as when I watch my diet and exercise regularly, and that scares me. So I guess I'm planning on addressing the fear in the coming year.
I don't trust anyone. No one. I always think people are out to get me. I don't let anyone in because of it. I'd like to let go of the anger, tear down my walls, and let people in more this up coming year.
Although I've gotten better, I still have a fear that others won't like me for whatever reason. This causes social anxiety going into situations that should bring joy and peace. This year, I'm going to continue to push myself to enter social situations that seem scary to me. Since practice makes perfect, I'm hoping that the more social situations I enter, the less afraid I'll be!
I still fear “messing up”, but I am getting more comfortable with my abilities and confident in my work. My biggest fear is still being only a paycheque from complete disaster. I also have fears of rejection, public speaking and a couple of insecurities. I plan to face my fears even if is uncomfortable.
A fear I have is that I will die soon and miss out on a big amazing life with Sadie and Sean. I know its because I lost both of my parents. I have done all I can at this point I think to mitigate it. I have and do talk to a therapist. I have set up life insurance and just last weekend finally completed a will for me and Sean. I try to be present with Sadie. I've written her a letter telling her everything I want to at this juncture that she has hanging on her wall. I try to give her tools to take care of herself when I'm gone and to know how loved she is in the meantime - enough to carry her through for a lifetime. In the coming year, I think I can work on my health. It's one thing to prepare for the worst - its another to daily plan for a long life by taking care of myself mentally and physically.
I fear death, aging and poor health. This has diminished my openness to life, my confidence, my dreams. I know I have no control on that, I only can take care of my nutrition and fitness. I don’t want to pay attention to de bad, I want to focus on life as possibilities.
I'm still afraid of driving. I'm really trying though. I'm signing up for one on one lessons today actually so ideally I'll be driving by November or December. Of course I did say I would be driving by this month and that didn't work out. But I still have hope.
Finances are my fear. I don't know enough about them or how to manage them, and I have huge anxiety about my and my family's financial future. I think it holds me back from thinking about interesting professional opportunities. I am planning to set up wills, trust, and life insurance in the coming year. And committing to YNAB. I'd like to find a financial therapist, to untangle some of my stuff around money.
I am afraid that I might develop some sort of medical condition that will disable me in some way, and my fear of this, counterintuitively, makes me avoid going to the doctor. I need to make an appointment for a complete physical to allay my fears and also to make sure that they are, in fact, unfounded. If something is wrong, better to get to it sooner rather than later, right?
Fear of being alone, friendless and incapacitated. It has limited me by taking too much of my time. So much worry about what I can do to prevent this. Maybe it's the worry that has prevented me from enjoying life- I'll leave that worry aside and find ways to be happy.
I fear getting too big. I fear succeeding, because what I was taught is that the higher I fly, the harder I'll fall. It means that often, I don't try at things. I want to change the narrative, to re-tell the story of that fall. I'm still going to fall, but it's not going to be the end of me.
I'm scared of injuring my back again. I plan on (actually) going to the gym, slowly increasing my activity, and doing my stretches.
I’ve always been an opinionated person and felt like I am a good leader, but since I’ve actually become someone’s boss, I find myself shying away from conflict. I don’t feel as I am one to typically do that so I need to let go of these insecurities of being a boss and be more forthright with my expectations from my subordinate.
A fear that I have is not being seen as competent. I am a highly competent person, I can always get the thing done, no matter what it is, yet I have a need to prove that to everyone around me and I'm fearful that people will think I'm not capable. I am! This has limited me because I will act on what I think people will perceive, rather than how I want to act. Maybe being aware of this will help me change the pattern.
That by becoming more outspoken, people now think I'm rude or pushy or overbearing. That's how I felt at my last review when I was told I come across as arrogant. On one hand, I want to welcome the feedback and work with it. On the other, I'm frustrated that finally finding my voice and feeling confident is somehow back-firing. I want to find a way to balance being authentically me while still being taken seriously.
Impostor Syndrome. Being vulnerable and candid with it as much as possible.
A fear of being left behind, unseen and taken advantage of. It often feels like that is the "inner sense" of feelings and thoughts on the surface. Continuing mindfulness practices while also practicing more active communication when I'm hurt is how I'd like to try to overcome this. Most importantly, more practice of self-love, recognizing it's me who has the power to see myself and I don't have to push that responsibility on other people without acknowledging my own power.
I am afraid of leaving the security and comfort of my job even though I want to go back to school to change careers. In the next year I am going to figure out how to do that, apply and hopefully get in!
I have many fears. Fear of failure being one of the biggest ones that affects many aspects of my life. I fear failing at school. I fear failing as a father. Sometimes these fears are overwhelming, and instead of trying, I shut down. I want to work on pushing through my fears and trying anyway. I want to work on accepting that I will fail, sometimes, and then not give up trying. I want to work on not allowing myself to shut down when I get overwhelmed.
What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? fomo or fobo fear of needing something that I threw away . How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year? practice taking good stuff and putting it in the garbage?!?!? Enjoying the beauty and simplicity of more space and less stuff. Yes!
The fear of not being accepted for who I am as a person. I plan to work on understanding who I am and why, and even if I do not find out, I hope the journey is well worth it :)
I carry a lot of anxiety and fear. It limits my enjoyment of life. It inhibits my sense of adventure. I plan on continuing therapy to improve my response to life.
I am fearful about trying new things alone. A lot of times I am able to put on a brave face, but I wish I was better at agreeing to things that scare me or I don't know a lot about. My anxiety makes it so that I like to have control and be "in the know" of situations I'm walking in to and that holds me back from the unknown.
I always fear to let people down by saying “no”, especially at work. Years ago, somebody told me that this doesn’t mean I am an unwilling coworker and it actually helps other people if I’m more clear. Still, it is difficult for me. Slowly I am learning how to deal with this. It is a process, but I am getting there.
I fear that my teenage daughter will take her own life, or destroy it. I just need to continue to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen.
My fear is the same - I fear failure. I fear trying for a sub 4 and not making it again. It's so embarrassing. On the upside, I no longer think my heart will break if I fail, and that may be because I have been doing yoga and meditating more regularly. I plan to get help for this - I need someone who knows what they're doing with running, but also recognises that I cannot relinquish control, that I have been in my body for 36 years and I know if something isn't working. I will find someone who can coach me.
A fear (anxiety) of being judged and the anticipatory fear of doing a task and/or putting myself out there. I plan to continue the process of overcoming this by continuing to pursue opportunities to expose myself to uncomfortable situations and "just do it" to push through and embrace the anxiety.
I'm tremendously insecure and fear that nobody really likes me. Objectively I know this isn't true but I need a serious dose of self-love. I am going to try to be authentically, truly myself in a confident way, while still being mindful of how I impact others.
I've recently (yesterday!) become aware of how emotionally paralyzing for me it is to try to reach someone and feel that they are emotionally inaccessible. I panic and regress -- I dissolve and lose the adult resources I've cultivated for dealing with people, becoming childlike and primitive. I've started to work on this in therapy and understand that panicky, childlike part. I need to take care of it in order to let my adult self take over.
My fear of what others think of me limits me a lot. I don't ask for help or speak up when I need something to be done differently because I don't want to be seen as stupid or annoying. I plan on challenging why it matters what others think, especially professors. I want to keep in mind what was said in processing yesterday, that what matters is my evaluation of my learning, not what my professors think.
I pulled a TArot card two days ago. It’s the moon or night. The card is about fearing the dark and making mistakes because of thinking that I’m surrounded by dangers and so lose capacity to see the truth and therefore make a mistake. It says the unknown around me is the seed of new encounters and the first step into the mystery of what I know not yet. And, when the night becomes a part of me, I will be stronger. I will recognize the darkness inside of me and in the world, but I will not be afraid. I resonate with this and agree. It is both metaphorically true and literally true. I am thinking about a long over due trip to Alaska. If I go soon, it will be dark 24 hours a day. Even if I do not go , I am thinking on this every night and will engage opportunities to seek the seeds of new encounters in the unknown around me. I want to know what I do not know yet. I want the night to become a part of me so that I can be stronger. I want to recognize the darkness inside of me and in the world - and not be afraid. I want the capacity to see the truth and not make a mistake.
Starting a new project. It has kept me from starting a new project. I'll overcome it by starting a new project.
Fears about the future of this country are large, as well as fears about the steady acceleration of climate change. I don’t think I should let either of these go but I would like to feel I am more engaged in making things better.
I am afraid to leave my husband. It has limited me by keeping me in a marriage where I'm not happy and where I can't flourish. It sucks because I love him, but I'm not in love with him. It sucks because he still loves me. We have already talked about splitting up. He thinks that he can stay with me. Somehow sway me to remain with him. Unfortunately, he needs to understand that I am determined to see how things will work separately. It's important to me.
Not much has changed since last year in this regard. I’m still fearful of being stuck in the same place- not really accomplishing much andrew continuing to do the same things- especially with teaching. I’ve had a great year this year but I don’t know if I want to keep doing this. I need to think long and hard about this summer. Performance anxiety is still a fear for me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel but I can’t quite get rid of it either because I like playing music publicly and competing in tennis. I suppose I don’t really have a plan for overcoming it but I’d like to continue trying meditation. That seems to help some.
I have two opposing fears that are in a tug of war: on one side, I'm afraid I'm passing up a much higher-paying salary by staying at my current employer. On the other side, I'm afraid to leave my current employer because a) I'm comfortable here b) great work culture c) great PTO/benefits that I'm afraid I won't be able to get anywhere else. I plan on addressing those fears by giving an ultimatum in spring/summer 2020: if i don't get paid what I'm worth, then I'm leaving. I'm waiting until after my 3-week vacation in spring 2020 to give that ultimatum though, because you should never give an ultimatum that you're not willing to follow through with.
Teaching scares the shit out of my. I know I'm in YTT right now but the actual act of standing in front of a room and using my voice terrifies me. I plan on overcoming it by continuing to give my all to YTT and putting my best self forward. I know that the net I have surrounding me will catch me when I fall, and support my on my way back up. I know I can crush this and I get excited thinking about when I am confident up there and get to be myself in front of all these people.
I have a fear of financial scarcity. This is an intergenerational struggle as well as a realistic fear of late capitalism. But it limits me, like all fears, by keeping me small. I would like to think creatively about what work might look like for the remainder of my career, and when I think about stepping away from a steady paycheck I get anxious. I love my current job and have it for at least 3 more years barring the unforeseen, so this is a good time frame to work on both letting go of my fear, and building up scaffolding so a leap doesn't feel so intimidating.
Not sure how to articulate it. Maybe some fear that help from a specialist won't... help? That same old 'if I don't try then I can't fail', inertial freeze. But also, the opposite fear: if I don't take the step to ask for help (or wait too long), A's disappointment might eclipse all the good we have. I don't want to hurt them, but I know my not taking care of myself does hurt. I just, have to do it. Have to set up an appointment.
I fear illness progression in my family members. I don't have control over it, only over me. I will try to be more supportive, in contact more frequently to both of my brothers and my brother-in-law as they deal with diagnoses of cancer and of cognitive impairment. I also fear that my husband and I could also, one day, be faced with an illness and hope that we address it as beautifully and lovingly as my brother is.
I am still massively afraid of having people think that I failed, which incapacitates me when it's not late enough to prevent failure. When I find myself afraid of failure, I will aim to try to fail sooner rather than later so I can start again.
I have a fear that nothing will change. It might be self defeating in that I don’t take action. This year I have an accountability partner in my boyfriend. We signed up for a year of personal training,and push each other to go to the gym. We are starting to do this in other areas, and I’m looking for other accountability partners too. I’m also actively noticing my thoughts and work in to change them and what I for us on. I’m doing gratitude work, on things that I actually have, and projecting gratitude onto things I desire as if they are already mine.
I have gotten over my fear of bad stuff happening (and it feels great). I realized that there is no point in having that mentality. Its a waste of energy and effort, and just WHY, why bother wasting time thinking of the bad things that could happen. I'm alive, I am fulfilled, I am loved. I need to be grateful for that EVERYDAY. Ever since my spiritual awakening I have no fears, only excitement for whats next.
I'm starting to realize that my fear of rejection I spoke of last year is maybe also a big fear of being found out as a fraud. It's limiting in a way similar to a fixed mindset, where it makes it hard for me to really push myself and try for scary things. This has resurfaced since being in law school, and I think part of letting it go is a) being more vulnerable about my failures, and allowing others to be as well and b) giving a good faith effort in all I do to prove to myself I'm not a fraud.
Miedo a que no me quieran como soy. Espero poder aprender a relajarme más y darme cuenta que no ser quién soy yo no me conviene a la larga, hacer de cuenta que soy otra no es negocio. Me frustro, me gasto, me enojo y encuentro en situaciones donde no me estoy respetando. Límites, pausa, cautela, menos miedo de sentir momentos incómodos con la gente.
I fear not being perfect and not accomplishing great things before I die. It might limit me because I neglect my husband and kids for these things. I don't know how to overcome it because a, I need to do what I do to earn money. B, I apparently don't want to give up those things.
That my mother will need me and I won’t be here to help her. It limits me because I feel responsible and get paralyzed and overwhelmed at times. I plan to recognize how it impacts me and realize that she lived her life, her mother lived until she was 60 and that she lived. I was given a life to enjoy and live it
I fear I lack the skills to do any job outside of a legal/finance framework. Therefore, I lack faith in my ability to enter another field, such as tech. I think by investigating different jobs, I’ll be able to see more possibilities. This, in turn, should help me move towards overcoming this fear.
Flying. It limits where I'm able to go and how easily. I don't know how much time I'm going to spend on overcoming it the next year; it really takes a lot out of me, and I have better things to spend that time and energy on.
I'm constantly afraid of the amount of debt I have and the lack of savings. Every day I wake up and I feel like this crippling weight around my shoulders from it. I really don't know what I plan to do to change this, but I feel like I don't want to continue trying to just "be strong" and pretend like everything is fine. I'm willing to let the bottom fall out. Maybe this is the first step to recovery?
I have a fear of being upsetting. It's made me shrink myself and hide parts of who I am depending on the group I'm around (family, strangers, certain friends, etc). I'm sick of it! As I learn who I am, I want to feel comfortable being that person openly. This goes along with the goal of gaining confidence and trust in myself. The more I expose the fear, I think the more it will slowly go away. Like expanding the surface area, so the reaction is quicker
My fears tend these days to center around MS and the continuation of my symptoms and occurrence of new ones. I decided not to be so afraid of ending up in a wheelchair, a believer in the statement, "that which we resist, persists."
I still have the fears described last year (fear of being seen as a fake, providing no value, being arrogant), but I'm holding them differently this year. So, too, am I holding differently the fear of being alone and old. This is multi-year work, and I'll keep at both parts of this -- putting myself out there and confronting my fear and researching and making financial plans that will create security for me.
I have a fear of not having enough money to meet my needs and maintain my lifestyle. The fear keeps me from enjoying today. It makes me feel overly cautious and fearful instead of happy vibrant and alive. My plan is to live one day at time and let God do all the heavy lifting. I would like to give this to God and let him handle it.
I fear that I am not good enough at being an SLP to help my students adequately. In a larger sense, I have had many fears and anxieties this year, about doing the “right thing”. I plan to restart my gratitude practice and think of one thing everyday that I am grateful for.
My fear of letting go of freedom, the ability to do whatever I want. There is a fear I have of taking on responsibility, because then I have to show up. I can’t just do whatever I feel like doing that day and moment. I will shape a new identity to overcome this. I shall focus on the change I will help people make. Without my little part, they won’t do the same. I need to play my part.
I am afraid of not being liked. It limits my ability to stand up for ideas and beliefs that I value and feel are important. I don't know how to overcome it, but I'd like to try.
I'm afraid to move away from my parents and not being available to them as they age. I can talk with professionals to help me.
I have a fear of failure, of not following through. I like the idea of accumulating rejections, because in setting a goal of, say, 100 rejections, I'll have to get my work out there 100 times. This means I'll be more likely to get positive responses, as well. And by making rejection a goal, it turns it into a triumph. And it makes me laugh.
I’m generally a bold (though fearful) person, but the thing that has held me back the most thoroughly is my fear of asking anyone to adjust their image of me, or maybe even to see my real self at all. I was terrified of telling people who knew me that I was changing my name and now I’m terrified to tell them I’m converting, and it stops me from pursuing the things I know I want. I don’t know how to get rid of this fear except with the passage of time after I’ve told the truth. Also, therapy. Also, asking for I want clearly instead of halfway (which sets me up for disappointment). Not allowing this fear to rule my behavior when I do tell someone. Learning through the telling that there is nothing to be afraid of.
What will happen to the marriage with the physical separation, and also how the boy will develop without my guidance. I don't really have a choice about letting go at this point, I just have to see what happens...
Fear of Being Out in the Great, Wide World I am going on an adventure, but still should try to go on an adventure alone.
Falling. Being careful.
My main fear is of being "trapped" in a situation for longer than I feel comfortable. I have been working on this and have made great progress. I am saying yes to more things that are spur of the moment, and planning less. Also, I am open to trying new things to experience them. This year alone I have done a lot of things I would not have expected. Gone to Hawaii for 12 days, visited a "gay bar", attended a Pride event, said yes to going out at the last minute for cocktails, etc...
I have financial insecurity and I am working with someone to work on my debt and getting into the black as well as working toward retirement. Though retirement is a long way off for me still I am feeling positive about making this step forward.
I am very afraid that Trump will be the ruin of the entire world. He will send us into world war and he will Doom environmental regulations and set us back years and years, maybe even generations. He already has. I have a little bit of Hope in his impeachment, but he is refusing to cooperate so I'm hoping that there was a system in place for obstruction of justice when it is done by the president.
I’ve had a fear of public speaking. I think it is a common fear. It has limited me at work because I am nervous to speak in front of groups. However I have slowly been getting over this fear in other areas of my life though at work it still hampers me. I trust I will continue to work on it in my own way.
This year I identified a fear of commitment. It has limited me by enabling me to be a bit flighty and unwilling to settle in to an environment for too long. It has held me back from applying to jobs and, likely, has held me back from going on dates. I am hoping that being conscious of the fact that I am inclined to not commit will help me to overcome this. I am going to try to say yes to things that seem good and set up guidelines/benchmarks for myself to help keep me in check if I feel the “flight” instinct kick in.
Still pretty similar to last year, I have this lingering fear that I lack the experience to be successful at any of the things I want to pursue. I feel like I'm not musical enough to make music, not creative enough to make art, not jargon Savvy enough to successfully work at a larger company, and not bold enough to start some kind of business on my own. But the truth is I'm well on my way to achieving almost all of those things. So when the doubts crop up in my head, I will look back on the previous year as evidence that I can at least do as well as I have done recently.
Worry about failing in general has limited me and drives procrastination. Plan to take it 1 step at a time and get things done.
Fear of not completing Fear of not being able to stand up for myself Fear of just going along with it Fear of disappointing myself I am going to use my voice. Be authentic.
I am afraid of failing, even though I have failed at things before and I am still moving forward. I think that my fear of failure has prevented me from trying things. I want to put myself out there in more ways and experience the world around me, even if it means some things don't work out. I have started to work towards that goal already but I'm hopeful that this new year will bring me closer to how I would like to be.
I am terrified at being viewed as a failure and insignificant. This means that I am ramped up all the time, do things that I am not necessarily prepared for, and get so overwhelmed with everything that I need to do that I get in lock-down mode. This year I am going to work on getting more organized, learn to say no more often, and really try to address the anxiety that is undergirding my fears.
I fear that I too may be destined to live too long with dementia. I am doing what I can for my mental and physical healthy. I will continue to be aware of latest research and try not to drive my family crazy when I lose the car keys and can’t remember where I put them.
A fear I have is being wrong about how deeply and why I want to divorce Scott. I’m using hypnotherapy, counseling, journaling, and my memory of how much of a relief 6 months of separation was to get over it. Something always holds me back when I’m ready to call it quits, but I remember how desperately I wanted him gone when E was born, and that hasn’t changed.
I think my fear is aging. Not really getting older...that's inevitable. But the effects of getting old and looking old. I know many people my age (53) embrace this process, but I'm just not really able to do that at this point. The best way to overcome it is to keep myself healthy, keep working out, taking care of myself and keep healing after my year of injury that tried to slow me down....not act old.
I fear losing my loved ones, and this fear, either by death, hatred or others, becomes more present every day. I hope G-d helps me handle the future in a more wise way.
My greatest fear is that I'm too fucked up to ever be truly loved by family/parter/friends etc. I think I want to spend a lot of the next year leaning into my authenticity and seeing what that means in terms of how my relationships evolve and change and then reevaluate next year if I feel like it has been a positive change.
Not shooting the moon. I know what to do. Don’t let fear impede my start!
I honestly think that I have been too afraid to be happy and to enjoy my life. More yoga, more cannibis, more travel, more laughter, more joy!
Fear that I'm not really that good/smart, etc. I want to be more confident in my work and ready to move on. It's time to let it go, but I don't exactly know how.
One fear that I have is the fear of failure. This has limited me by preventing me from taking risks and causing me to sacrifice things that I could not afford to sacrifice, such as my health, in order to live up to the standards I set for myself. I plan on letting go of this fear in the coming year by allowing myself to fall short every once in a while and being satisfied with my work as long as I did my best. I will do MY best, rather than THE best.
I have a fear of losing my job and the comforts it buys. It's actually limited me in that I haven't felt confident enough to go and pursue opportunities that would give me an opportunity to grow and learn. How am I letting it go? One thing I've realized is that if the company can make a buck from letting me go, it will... so I realize the illusion of security is just that. An illusion and not real, so why shouldn't I pursue my dreams?
Afraid of judgement/not fitting in. It prevents me from being fully honest/myself with people. To let go of this, I think I need to stop myself from judging others, too.
I fear looking foolish or inexpert even at things I’m new at doing. I’d like to give myself more permission to make active mistakes rather than the mistakes of inaction. I’m gonna just keep on trying and be gentle with myself.
Fear of failure and even fear of success if things should get complicated. I would like to let go of the advance chess move strategy that keeps me from making that first move.
I am afraid that I'm not dong enough or am not in the right place to set myself up for where I want to be in my life. I believe that the path I'm on is the right path for me no matter what, but I feel hesitant and trouble really trusting in that belief.
I think I have been trying to be unaffected as an observer of others behavior and in turn have kept a lot of thoughts, feelings and information to myself. I’m afraid that if I say how I really feel that it won’t be kind or that it will start conflict. Having already made steps to let it go, I have expressed myself with my girlfriend’s children and so far no war. This coming year- Embrace the satirical darkness and avenge the culture of Veruca Salt.
I'm afraid of social risks. At least, I think I'm afraid. I may also just not enjoy the work of making friends. I'd like to work on that, though. I think I just need to take a couple of risks and see it turn out okay. I also need to get better at maintaining friendships, not just nodding at people and never talking to them again. I'd like to be better at making and keeping close friends, and this will help. Really, I just need to practice talking to new people.
My biggest fear right now is having a romantic relationship, I’m still heartbroken and I don’t want to trust someone again. I need more time to process the pain and lost. I’m not desperate in finding someone else, so I’ll take it calm and just let it be.
I fear doing the wrong thing. I fear it so completely and across all aspects of my life that it holds me back from doing most anything. I fear saying the wrong thing when someone I care about is struggling, and that I will make it worse. I fear presenting myself incorrectly in my pursuit for a new job and employment that I don't even try. I fear change, and so I don't, and a avoid it in my life as much as possible. It's been a long time since I've felt really inspired or proud of myself. I feel almost completely removed from the young woman who took a trip to Europe with a new boyfriend on somewhat of a whim, and made it work. I feel stagnant, and stuck. And I'm so very tired of it. And I can't seem to circumvent the fear that permeates everything in my life and everything I see down the road. The only way I can think to overcome it is gentle but consistent force. Identifying the things that scare me and making myself do them anyway. And making myself do them in a timely fashion - not letting myself procrastinate until it becomes an insurmountable wall, or the opportunity has disappeared. I'm tired of feeling like I have nothing of value that I contribute to life - that I'm living in a haze.
I am afraid of how hard it is going to be when the kids go away to college and/or move out of the house. I don't think it is a fear that I will be able to let go of, but there are lots of opportunities to give Adam a chance to be away and on his own for small stints in a college like setting, and I think that seeing him thrive independently will go a long way to allay my fears.
Fear of rejection. I have worked so hard to find the root of my frustrations and they almost always arise from this fear. I have undergone my own sort of exposure therapy. Allowing myself to be vulnerable with others, repeatedly. The more I am vulnerable, the more opportunity for rejection, yes. But an even greater opportunity for love.
I have a fear of failure. I do not like the idea of not being enough to those around me. I know that those who love me will do so unconditionally, despite my success. Recognizing that it is okay to not be okay and get things wrong.
Same answer as last year: I'm terrified I'll never find love and that my life in ten years will be more or less the same as it is now. At the same time, this past year has shown me that I have the capacity to be amazingly passionate about new hobbies, to push myself physically, to change my routine. I hope that all of those tendencies will help me find what I'm looking for and, worst case, build a (more) worthwhile life for myself even if I can't.
I’m really really anxious and live my life by fear - something I despise in others and yet wrestle with overcoming myself. I want to see what’s possible and what my future may hold without worrying about the choice and outcome so much. That’s what’s holding me back.
I fear the sun growing pregnant. Becoming a red dwarf and burning our bodies like coal. I will let go of my identity when it's time.
To hike alone, i go on less hikes
Gotdamn, I feel like I'm governed by fear. What's something that's limited me? The fear of being worthless because of my body type, I think. That's so deeply-seeded (seated?) that it covers so many other things I do and so many things I think. I'm constantly adjusting my clothes, thinking about how I look, and whenever I imagine myself with a guy in the future, I'm thinner. I'm beautiful. I'm worth something. I honestly don't know how to let this go. More therapy, I guess?
I fear getting lost in my work. I feel limited that its been challenging to build relationships outside of medicine, and that I've gotten so serious I can't be fun anymore. I have to remind myself that nothing about my work limits me, its an opportunity to meet people, to love, to connect. And my skills are so valuable that they will always been an arrow in my quiver of relationship, people flock to me, whether they're my patients or my friends. Its a part of me, but doesn't define me.
I have a fear of rejection and letting my true self be seen. I work this year on being vulnerable and brave and really showing up and taking chances. In relationships, in work, in everything I hope to be brave and not let fear of rejection prevent me from being my full self.
Atychiphobia, or fear or failure is probably my biggest fear. Being afraid to fail can be a very good quality, because I work hard in an attempt to avoid failure, and therefore succeed. However, my fear does hold me back, because I am prevented from really pushing myself. I am scared to go too far out of my comfort zone very often, and this has led me to often be basic, and to not stand up for what I believe in. In everyday life, there are not many places where this affects me, especially since my fear has been lessened as high school has went on. As a freshman, I was terrified of making the smallest mistake, and probably would have cried had I been jugged, or failed an exam. Currently, I am much more relaxed, and am able to laugh off stupid mistakes, since I realize that most of these will have little to no affect on my future. However, my fear of failure still does affect me. Sometime I think of trying to start a business, or trying to advocate for gathering values that I believe in, but I generally do not follow through because of fear of failing. Simultaneously, I occasionally have small but influential bouts of social anxiety, where I become afraid to stand up for something, even it is important to me. I plan to address these fears the way I have been since high school began; I educate myself on subjects that are often controversial, so that I do not fail when they come up in conversation, and embarrass myself. In terms of grades and jugs, I will work hard, but also understand that my transcript does not define me, and that getting an A- is not gonna be the end of the world(the fact that colleges don’t see all my grades this year is a relaxing factor in this fear). Instead of learning for grades this year, I am going to try and learn for the enjoyment of learning, and to better myself as a son, brother, friend, student, player, mentor, and in every other role that I play. I plan to push myself academically, athletically, and spiritually, to try and discover answers to many of the questions I have. I think that coming into greater contact with my spiritual side could be very beneficial in me overcoming his fear, because it will help me keep from feeling embarrassed.
I think my biggest fear is failure. I fear that I’m going to mess up and make a fool out of myself or not live up to some kind of expectations I’ve made up in my head. I fear that I’m going to disappoint the people I care about the most. I just fear that I won’t be good enough and I really think that it hinders me from doing things and having experiences. I don’t want to miss out on life. I know that I’ve become more confident as time has gone by but I still have a lot of work to do. There are so many people around me that see the good in me and have so much to say about my worth and it’s time that I start to really listen.
I'm still afraid of being rejected. I've tried putting myself out there, going to work events, taking exercise classes, inviting coworkers to meet outside work, but I don't have anything to show for it. Still no friends. I don't know what to do about it. I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.
I don't want to be angry and bitter about my life. And right now I'm afraid it's going that way. I don't exactly know how to change that. I just know that I've got to try to change something.
The fear that I am not meant to succeed... but I am and I have the skills to do it. The discipleship program definitely helped, but I also need to pray and stay more plugged in to God because when I am I do feel like the sky is the limit - and with God it really is.
Fear for planet Earth and all humanity. Fear for the United States - which isn't really united any more - and certainly isn't a democracy. Meditation and prayer helps. So does reading uplifting material and going to ACA. Coaching/being a sponsor - making a difference for others. Landmark. Hearing soothing music. Spending time with friends.
I fear having to declare bankruptcy. I fear that I have made a mistake by pursuing law when I am not of the class of people that usually does so nor am I smart enough or interested in business enough to make it worthwhile.
I am afraid that Stan won't understand why when I protect my health in the face of his wants (which he sometimes can't differentiate from needs, which of course means that there's a need in the mix as well, I just don't always know what it is, and some of them I can't meet anyway by myself). Accepting that he just won't might help. We'll see.
I have a fear of not succeeding. This has limited me because it prevents me from taking risks, and so I become stuck, and therefore don’t succeed! It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. One of my goals is to overcome this by trying new things and going for what I want without thinking about failing.
Fear that my bills and debt will out weigh my income. That I am being under paid due to my female gender, blk color and 50+ age. Always sense/feel I am being taken advantage of. To let go of it and overcome this mindset, I will meditate and put into practice more the bible verse that says....Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 NIV
I'm afraid of allowing my passion for my hobby to completely encompass my free time. I'm working toward actually setting some clear goals for myself and putting myself first to get them accomplished. So I WANT to put myself first but I am also afraid that I'll neglect the family or my responsibilities. I'm going to work to achieve a balance so we all feel like we're getting what we need. That means letting my wife take on more things and getting the kids to pitch in to take care of the family.
I'm afraid to start. I'm afraid to commit to something and discover I'm terrible at it. What if I give up time with my husband, friends and family, only to realise pursuing my writing is fruitless. I guess I don't know what will happen - I can only start making, start writing and see what happens from there.
I fear that I will be abandoned and will die without love and support
Fear of regret. It paralyzes me when I'm making decisions. Regret that I might miss out on something, regret that I might make the wrong decision. I plan to continue working with my therapist, remembering what I learned in my job search, taking deep breaths, and reminding myself that it is my life to live, and mistakes are ok.
I fear rejection and judgment of others and this limits me at work and in personal relationships that I would like to build. For extreme situations I now have a life saving (hyperbole) medication, and just knowing I have that is so comforting and sometimes is comfort enough without using it. I need to step out of my comfort zone by not being such a loner. Yes this is still something I’m working on! Even though my first intinct is always to go it alone, do things with others. They are wonderful.
The fear of failure, especially afraid of failing or damaging my child (soon to be children). I think I need to challenge myself by looking at the big picture and reading up more on what is *actually* damaging long term...and accepting that no parent will ever be perfect unfortunately, we all come out a little damaged and a little therapy never hurt anyone
Starting therapy - and I most of my answers this year relate to therapy, but it has been pretty momentous - has made me realise how much my life, my choices, and my habits are rooted in fear. Nearly everything comes back to hypervigilance and fear of not being what people want/expect. By starting this therapeutic process, I feel like I've taken the lid off Pandora's box and I've got a faceful of hornets. There's no way the buggers are going back in the box now, so I just have to deal with them - and risk being stung - as best I can. Sooner or later I'll reach zero hornets and ... well, that's actually quite scary in itself as I have no idea what it will feel like not to be scared any more. We'll see.
I have been avoiding myself, and my family this year. I don't want to deal with the massive changes in our lives, but I need to. I plan on making more time for us, and less for the distractions.
I'm afraid to admit to myself and my family that I am depressed. I plan to move forward one step at a time with the help of my friends and family.
That I have to adapt myself to the wishes and whims of other people to be accepted and to be happy. Quite the opposite is true. I plan to let my authentic voice guide me in the coming year.
I still fear failure a lot. It's a major reason for my procrastination. Fear of not knowing the right answer or how to do something successfully holds me back. I want to remember that I hold myself back when I let my fear prevent me from trying or starting at all. It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to fail. Failing allows me to learn and should not be wrapped in copious amounts shame, especially when I try my best.
I'm afraid of not having stability- financial, relationship, health. It keeps me from interconnecting my life with others and makes me build walls. I think I have to look at what I can do fully in these arenas and accept what I cannot change instead of resent or blame. I'm most afraid of becoming my mother and that keeps me pushing her away and not loving her fully. I need to work on valuing her more and accepting her as a complete flawed person.
I have a fear of failing. It's limited me in throwing myself into the unknown- whether that be in the form of a hobby I want to pick up, a new dance trick, steps further into new relationships, and even existing relationships. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out the way to let that go. Fear of failure seems to be so deeply embedded in my core that there isn't a choice that escapes its filter. BUT I'll try not to think about the "consequences". If Logan Paul still has a career, I can mess up and be okay.
I have the constant fear that I will be alone forever. I'm working hard on not letting it limit me but at the same time it's so difficult since I think I put myself out there but don't find people. At this precise moment, there could be someone very special about to enter the picture, but I also don't want to put too much pressure on it. I think I need to just continue working on myself to project the best version of myself outwards.
I have a fear of confrontation. I plan to work on this year by practicing it respectfully. I see that this fear is something that limits my growth and I need to move past it if I am going to achieve some of my longer term goals.
I fear making the wrong decision, so much so I often make no decision at all (which, paradoxically, usually turns out to be the wrong decision). Right now I'm confronted with a number of choices - move overseas or don't, move out or stay here, change jobs or stay, marry or don't - and after endless rumination I have concluded that it is simply impossible to be certain about which decisions are the right ones. So I will need to confront this fear in 5780 because otherwise it will rule my life in a way I just can't abide by. As to how I plan on letting it go... I will think about that. I think that returning to my yoga and meditation practice will help. I think that finding more laughter and fun in my days will help. I think that driving will help. I think the more tough decisions I make, the easier it will get. I've just got to get started.
I still fear my addictions I have not overcome yet, but I do feel like I've accepted him as more of a person with a disease instead of a weakness. I still struggle over the fact he feels he doesn't need help from anyone...except me! I want again to focus on myself and my addictions and defects instead of him.
I have a fear that I will not be able to run the Miami half marathon in February. I hate running and I've been having a hard time with that. I find it so boring. And running in the Miami heat and humidity is tough. I don't know how I'm going to keep myself entertained and motivated. Maybe a new running outfit and a good podcast.
Change. I'm stuck in a job I've had for 13 years, and probably really underpaid and valued. I either need to find something new and exciting, or suck it up and ask for a raise. I'm afraid of change, but I'm also disgusted with how boring I am, always playing it safe.
I realize that my life has been ruled by fear. I let it limit my relationships especially at work. Last summer at the Jesus conference I felt like God had asked me to put fear on the cross. And even for several weeks after that I have tried to place fear at the feet of Jesus. So this year I have tried to continue to act without fear. It is a constant battle. Now that I’m working out I also realize I have a lot of fears about my body. The challenge will be to continually address fear with the help of the Holy Spirit.
I'm still afraid of a lot of things, and a lot of it is very much so based on disappointing others. I have /got/ to learn to let that go, but 37 years of practice has made it pretty perfect. In the upcoming year, I'd like to work on overcoming my fear of failure. I see it manifest in a variety of ways - not pushing hard enough on longer workouts because I'm scared I'll burn out too quickly. Not taking as many risks at work because I'm scared it won't pan out in a good way. I haven't told my parents about my genderqueer ID because I'm afraid it'll set me back to square one with their understanding/acceptance. In order to overcome this, I need to 1) be willing to take the risks, but also to talk through my fears about it with the people I know and love and trust. Also, seriously, I need to find a therapist.
People laughing at me or alternatively being criticised. Has stopped me from doing the simplest of things and filled me with a lot of anxiety. Although since starting college it's being a bit better. Hopefully just by keeping in mind that it isn't the end of the world if someone criticises you, I'll overcome it.
I have broken free, psychologically, from Cyrun, and from fears in general, using samadhi and the technique of visualizing fears as they arise as being in three-dimensional space, and reassuring them. This seems to be working universally, so I have no fears to address at this time.
I still fear failing, but am taking a large leap of faith in both myself and my husband with the purchase of the camper. We talked about selling our brick and stick home, but instead are renting it to my son - which makes me feel better. The "what if we fail" fear isn't as bad knowing that we still have a "home" to come back to. I know that no matter what, as long as he is by my side, we will make it!
Safety and security as I get older. I think that having money will help with this. I need a nest egg.
Fear of not being loved, being alone. Leads me to soothe myself, often by eating too much, which then makes me feel physically and emotionally awful. Still not sure how to overcome it. Maybe best to recognize the feeling and work on finding other ways to soothe myself.
I need to write a disclaimer here that I'm feeling pretty low today, so I'm not sure if this is totally reflective of where I actually am. I think I'm generally afraid of just being myself. I care so much about what people think of me and I pretty much demand external and verbal validation of who I am, where I'm going, and what I'm doing. I also feel unbelievably awkward in situations where I'm not completely comfortable (the beach with Tim, improv class, for example). And then I end up making it so much worse for myself in the end because I just am that awkward, weird, shy, quiet girl who nobody totally knows or understands. It's like I dig my own grave. I need to move forward through this and just try to be comfortable being me. To be honest, I don't really know how to do it. My medicine has helped me so much in the last couple of years, but I wonder if I'm reaching the limit of where the medicine will be a bandaid and keep me functional, and now I just really need to work on the self loathing that is so deeply rooted inside myself. Maybe I go back to therapy, maybe I be like Natalie and just not give a f*ck what other people think. Maybe I just need to stop overthinking everything and get out of my head a little bit (I hate the idea of "getting out of my head" why does it matter if I think a lot? whatever). I just want to stop having these experiences where I'm not fully living as myself and consequently end up worse off than I was before.
I am afraid of having no friends and being emotionally isolated and alone. I plan to overcome this fear by building solid friendships and community ties based on genuine solidarity and connection. I am afraid of being ostracised in my Orthodox Jewish community and in the wider Jewish world if I criticise Zionism and the ongoing human rights abuses perpetrated by the Israeli government. I plan to seek out more Jews who share my views and to learn more ways to express myself safely.
I fear making any change to my comfortable situation. I do not plan to remedy this in the coming year. Perhaps I can make incremental changes.
I just took the enneagram, which suggests I am most afraid of not being valuable. This reminds me of my thought last year that my fear is of getting in trouble. They feel related: doing "bad" that gets me in trouble would also mean not being valuable. While the "not getting in trouble" feels difficult to circumvent -- though I like my intention to tell the truth more and deal with trouble if it comes -- I also appreciate the enneagram suggestion that I continue to ground myself in believing my own inherent worth. I am valuable for my flaws, my humanity, my wholeness, my where-I'm-at-right-now-ness. Trusting that I am worthy just as I am, not for what I do, feels like important work to lean into.
Fears are everywhere! Fears are the things I need to let go. I think I embody that Marianne Williamson quote: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." When I give myself permission to feel my power, it is scary how strong it is. By this time next year, I'd like to live in that power. I'd like to accept the prosperity and good that it brings. Each day, every day is a step closer to existing in that space. It takes building inner confidence. It takes owning my worth. It takes choosing to see myself as I am now, instead of as I saw myself when I was six years old. Reading that sounds so hard. But all I have to do is choose to own my power. And choose to own it again and again and again each day.
I'm afraid of losing control of myself. This leads to a lot of body bashing and over-regulating food drink exercise. I'm afraid of looking like I have too much desire or need or am too big a presence because I'm afraid there will be backlash if I'm not delicate and dainty and demure. I am not delicate or dainty or demure. It's Ok if i'm diplomatic but I need to let go of tip-toeing and pretending I don't have opinions. I have to toot my own horn like I used to be able to do and not be worried that people will judge me.
I have always been afraid of discomfort. that I can't handle anything unpleasant. that I have to run away. Or I have to "treat" it somehow. I've been afraid to sit still with it. Do I even need to go into how that has limited me? I don't know how I plan to overcome it in the coming year, but I've said it out loud (so to speak) and that's a start.
Fear of being not good enough - including not being a good enough mother, fear I am not giving enough at home or at work. I suppose I need to accept where I am in certain areas and be more positive.
I've always had a fear that I would be ALONE. I look at my Mother who is seriously the most amazing person on this planet (kind, patient, impathetic, loving, beautiful, smart, etc etc) and she's single and alone. She says it doesnt bother her but I see her struggles from insecurity and self doubt by clinging onto a relationship that doesnt serve her growth. I realize it's much more complicated than how I am describing but it just really makes me upset. Thus - I am learning to let go of my need for control (myself and others) by trying to be more understanding. In addition, I am marrying my best friend and that has been very instrumental to my own growth and self care; maybe because it's a validation that I am "worthy"? A little unhealthy but I think you know what I am trying to get at...
As always, the fear of failure. Keep working hard, doing my best, and trusting that God has it all in his hands.
Fear of failure, letting people down professionally & personally. Fear of success & change. I plan to Drive anyway & fail & be successful anyway xx Sticking plasters at the ready xx 😘
I have always been afraid of being alone. It made me get or stay in unhealthy relationships. I started therapy to overcome that, and I am much better. Talking to a psychologist has been great. A fresh and external perspective has helped me a lot.
I realized I fear the universe doesn't hear me when I'm not seeing signs or changes. Reiki has helped me feel that I am heard, the timing is just off. It still is frustrating but I can better work with it now. I felt less than and unworthy which only compounds the feelings. I'm scheduling regular reiki treatments and doing the associated work between sessions.
I get in my head about how things are "supposed" to be. I don't let myself be in the moment, or I don't start a big project because I have such high expectations of myself. I'm working on just starting, letting things happen, and not letting myself get worked up about the anticipation of beginning. Just... do the work, don't worry about looking foolish or stupid, and ask for help if needed.
One fear I have is that everyone I know is going to turn on me one day. I am going to therapy now to learn how to overcome it.
I am afraid that my daughter will commit suicide. She struggles with mental illness and suicidality and has for years, though the last year was particularly bad. My fear impacts my relationship with her in negative ways. I've learned that fear and grief are two sides of the same coin, that fear is grieving for something that hasn't yet, and may never happen. Fear is a form of attempting to control, but no amount of pre-grieving will lessen the pain of loss if it comes. And I cannot control this. I can only help when she asks for it and always love, love, love.
i have a fear of public speaking. i need to go back to toastmasters and get over it. it will help me be more eloquent and able to get my point across in a more succinct, presentable way. i believe this can help me grow personally and professionally.
I fear not being able to keep up the pace needed to do it all. I try to find time to cut back when I can, but responsibilities just get more and more and therefore need more time to do it.
I am afraid for the future of humanity. The climate emergency is threatening our civilization and our long term survival as a species. I am working with organizations to bring awareness of the emergency to citizens and to help mitigate the effects if we are unable to react quickly enough to slow or reverse the environmental and biodiversity changes.
I have had a fear of failure my entire life. And while I believe I have demonstrated time and time again that I am a risk taker, in many ways this fear continues to live with me. Perhaps I need to actively engage in dialogue with it. And I’d like to forgive my sisters. But forgiveness is overrated. I sometimes feel that they should forgive me instead of what I perceive as blaming them for making their childhoods miserable. And I would really just like to not think about that long ago time and just move on, accepting that Maeta and Judy are more compatible and companionable with each other than they are with me.
I am always afraid that I am not good enough, smart enough, etc. I am working to embrace that there is no such thing as smart enough, but I can continue to be willing to learn, and I can work to have the confidence to know that getting something wrong is not the end of the world, just a springboard for more learning.
My fear of reaching out to people for advice, help, or for a job. I think I literally just need to ask 100 people for introductions to the right people to get a job at their company.
I have a desperate fear of not being enough. As Clare pointed out, I have a lot invested in being seen as a good professional but I can relax and just BE good at what I do. I am allowed to not have it together. I am allowed to be in process. I am allowed to say "I don't know but I will research it." I lose a lot of energy by trying to appear to be the smartest person in the room but I am terrified of being "found out" that my knowledge isn't adequate. I am terrified of being embarrassed. Two things help with this. 1. Do my homework. 2. Be humble, willing to take accountability for my mistakes or gaps in knowledge, and willing to learn. I know these things. On good days, I put them into practice. Here's to more good days.
One fear that has been limiting is the fear of not being good enough. I tend to become nervous that I'm not smart enough of competent enough to do the things that i want. This likely stems from caring about what people think of me. this year i am planning on doing the things that i want, even if I'm afraid of not being good enough to prove to myself that i am
I fear doing things wrong and being judged. Sometimes this leads me to asking too many questions and being too needy rather than just being confident taking a leap of faith and trying my best. I don't like to "try my best" usually because I want to know things will be perfect before I try. This year, I want to just trust myself and understand that no one is perfect, and I am not expected to be perfect.
As discussed last year, I am still terrified of vulnerability, especially when it comes to relationships. I think that I have worked on that this year and taken some moments to demonstrate vulnerability and courage. But there is more to work on, especially when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships. I need to keep reminding myself that the moments when I HAVE tried to be more courageous have turned out fine or even good, so it's worth continuing to try. What have I got to lose?
I'm afraid of suffering and death. It has prevented me from taking risks and enjoying my life fully. I intend to live as much as possible in the present because in the present, I am alive and free(r) of pain.
I care what other people think too much and it makes me weak/miserable. I need to only care about what I think.
I fear the future of the universe. It causes a low level of depression because I believe that things have never been worse. We have to always try to connect with people who are different and be patient but steadfast in our determination to heal the world.
*Fear of not being enough enters from stage left, stage right, backstage, and the audience.* Here's the scoop: yo girl is sometimes cripplingly afraid of not being enough. Not being enough as a daughter, as a friend, as a partner, you name it. It requires a full on community pep talk and a shot of whiskey for me to go on a date because I'm so afraid of not being enough for someone, or not being experienced enough in whatever comes next. Which, when I think about it, is ridiculous because I'm flat out terrified that I will never find someone who's good enough for me, so it's a bit of a ying-yang effect there. Anyways. We're going to let it go by getting out there more. By being a bit more confident, caring just a little bit less, and continuing to arm myself with the things (read: healthy lifestyle) that I need to contribute to my confidence in my self-worth to keep kicking ass and taking names.
The fear of not being to afford things. To travel. To buy socks. We can now afford socks. Going forward, we may be able to afford to travel. I look forward to this.
Since I've developed IBS, I have a fear of food. It's a tough one to admit, but I do. It's really new food and how my body will react in a public setting. Sometimes, it's my brain that will cause the problem and sometimes it's actually a problem. I hope to keep experimenting with different foods and amounts to find a happy place mentally, where I can still try new foods without anxiety.
I'm scared for my marriage, I'm scared about dying soon, I'm scared about trying new things. I'm working on my marriage, I'm trying to get healthy and live longer yet be prepared for death, and I'm doing new things.
I fear the family not liking me. I fear their lack of love. It is irrational yet I still have it. Don’t know how I will get over it. Perhaps through increased self awareness and more blunt discourse.
I think that my memory has gotten really bad, and because I realize that I have given up trying to remember things. Almost like a defense mechanism. I think this has been limiting me a lot as I think it speeds up the memory loss. I am going to try to remember more instead of just giving up. Read with more attention, take more notes instead of giving in. Also another fear I have and its getting worse is of flying. Though I take weekly flights, on most flights I have adrenaline (and not the good type of feeling) flushing through my body during the flight and at each bump. Not sure how I am going to overcome this. I have been thinking of looking for someone who does hypnotherapy or something like that as this is super limiting, especially given the fact that Eduardo and I don’t live in the same city.
I fear that climate change will kill us all and that the future of humanity is both bad and short. But I mostly don't dwell on it much, so I don't think it's limiting me really.
I feel like anxiety is limiting me now, and I guess the fear that it's rooted in is that I'm not enough or that there's not enough for me; I'm not sure which. Either way, it's this pervasive sense of scarcity. What would it mean if I let go of that idea? If I dared to trust both that I am enough and that there is enough for me?
I don't think too much on what I cannot do out of fear because I am very adventurous and simply put "things have to get done", however I want to buckle down and follow through with my career change plans.
There's deep fears about loss of safety, and they limit me by making me rigid and regimented and small. Reminding myself how good it feels to embrace my vulnerability and to view any accomplishment or possession as already in the past is the most helpful in for not letting those limits define me.
I am afraid I won’t be a good enough mom or wife. I want to take care of my family, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to find the balance. I hope to let this fear go by reminding myself that all things come with practice and it’s okay if I don’t get it right all the time.
I have a certain fear about my relationship with Holly. It is hard to balance my own priorities, my own wishes, my own preferences with here's at times. I fear Holly's anger when I say or do something that seems to really distress her. Marriage can be a challenging (and rewarding) afair.
I feel like I can't really get into the mindset of this question because it really scares me. But my new fear in life is losing my child. I can't even fathom what would happen if something were to happen to her. I just want to love and protect her from everything and can't even imagine a world where she isn't in it and she's only 6 months old!
I'm afraid of letting go of my current marriage, even though it isn't working on most levels any more. I'm afraid of being on my own financially as I near retirement age. I'm hoping to overcome this obstacle by creating greater income and financial security this year, which will enable me to go in a different direction.
I'm deeply afraid of failure. This has been true for a LONG time and at times, I've deluded myself into thinking I've gotten past it. Rationally, I understand that failure is imperative to growth. Rationally, I understand that we all fuck up. But my heart doesn't really believe it. My heart believes that if I fail or if I'm wrong, something catastrophic will happen. I don't have a clear picture of what catastrophe will befall me; I just know being wrong is not an option. So, I have a really hard time identifying my wrongs. And even if I know I've been wrong, I have a really hard time admitting it to the people I've hurt. This makes me a lesser friend, a lesser partner, and a lesser person. Real growth, real strength, and real bravery come from facing our mistakes. As for how I will do this in the coming year, I have no. Fucking. Clue. Fear of failure or fear of "being wrong" is one of my deepest psychologies and I don't know how to unlearn it. But I guess I'll start today. I'll start by apologizing to the love of my life. I'll start by apologizing to my mom. And I'll try my best to apologize to my best friend, who I'm mad at and who I think I've failed on many counts in the past year.
I still have the feeling I'll be completely alone sooner or later. That's why I'm still convinced I desperately need to find a partner to avoid this.
I fear that I'm letting my life slip by me without really living it. I feel like all of the sudden I'm 40. I don't want to all of the sudden be 80 and full of regrets. My anxiety makes it hard for me to do things by myself, and to make friends once I do go places. I'm hoping to push past that in the coming year and go do things anyway. I also want to be better about fostering the relationships I do have, and keeping them strong.
This is tough. As I think about it I'm not sure that I have a fear. Although there are things I'd like to do that I'm not doing. I'd like to drink less as that has definitely increased this past year. Do I have a fear of being wrong? Is that why I don't speak out more. Or a fear of being ridiculed. More likely a fear of not being heard or taken seriously. That's an old one. Must let it go! (Time to do some counseling again?)
I fear being myself. I’ve been a compulsive liar for 15+ years and not only do I fear the inevitable day I finally commit to coming clean and the downfall that will come of it...but I also fear that nobody will like the real me either and I’ll be just as alone.
I'm terrified of getting back on the horse. I'm either tentatively getting back on the horse and crossing my fingers w/on-call policies in writing, or finding a new horse. The worst case scenarios are ambien-induced psychosis and/or bankruptcy. I am not sure how to talk that tightrope but I suppose I'd better f*cking learn pretty quick.
I have some strong and limiting fears. Let's start with FOMO and FOBO -- Fear of Missing Out and Fear of Better Offer. Both of those have to do with decision making. FOMO: After I get over the decision paralysis I get when there are two or more good options (for anything from how to spend a weekend to what camera to buy), I can easily get hit by FOMO. It makes me fear that I'm missing out on the thing that I decided against (camping? going to a friend's thing? relaxing at home? the Nikon D750?), rather than staying committed to the decision I've made and enjoying it in the present. There are two things I need (and will) do to counteract this: (1) I will be more forgiving to myself in cases when I feel like I've made a "wrong" decision, and say "you made the decision that seemed right with all the information you had at the time", and (2) I will attempt to be more in the present. The present is what's in front of me, and if I all I can see now are the roses that are 90% as beautiful as the ones I would have seen if I'd chosen a different route at some point, THEY ARE STILL FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND I SHOULD STOP TO SMELL THEM. Sometimes literally. FOBO: I often don't commit to a choice until is super late because of FOBO (fear of better offer). "How can I buy tickets to this thing next week / next month if there's a possibility I will find / get invited to a better thing before then?" In practical terms, this means I often miss out on great opportunities (Norah Jones at the 930 club, Story District's 202 class), and in mental terms it means I needlessly agonize over choices that aren't even real. The choice right now is between hosting a shabat dinner and not hosting a shabat dinner, and NOT between hosting a shabat dinner and going skydiving, just in case someone was to invite me between now and shabat. It's a self-constructed dilemma. Same with relationships. The choice is (generally) between being with someone and not being with someone, not between being with someone and being with someone better who might come along at some point in the future. I'm quite sure some of my relationships have gotten hung up on such fictitious choices in the past. The same measures to counteract apply here as did under FOMO.
I fear wasting my limited time on Earth by choosing the wrong way to spend it. For example, I struggle striking a balance between activities and social life and I cannot seem to decide which activities I want to invest my time and energy into. Maisie gave me some great advice in the first week of college- one person is unable to save the world, so invest deeply into one issue you may be able to make an indent in. My fear goes so deep, that I am concerned I will somehow choose the wrong issue. In the upcoming year, I need to pick something and forgive myself. If I hate it, I can always change.
Fear of most things have turned me into kind of a hermit. I'm not sure how to let it go, but I'm in therapy.
As much as I've embraced change this year, it still scares me. I think the part of it that resonates now is letting go of old ideas, old stories I tell myself about who I am and how I am in the world. I want to make room for new stories, and have more confidence in my truth. How? Just by noticing these ideas and stories for what they are, and challenging them, gently.
My fear is that I become enveloped by my career and am not an engaged citizen. I am afraid that I am going down a path that does not utilize my full skill set, and that I will become unpracticed in other areas. Especially languages and history. I plan on letting it go by being intentional about always learning and leaving my job if I don’t think it pushes me to use skills that I want to use.
I'm afraid of depression taking over my life. That feeling of the energy just draining dry, leaving me unable to care for my children, it terrifies me. When I'm feeling good anyway. When I'm not feeling good, I feel nothing. I feel empty. But not today. Today is good and I'm a good mom.
I am afraid that history will repeat itself. I accepted the first job offer I received with my first degree and have done the same with my second degree. It limited me from the standpoint of not exploring other options fully. However, I believe the choice I made this time was based on many more months of evaluation and self-discovery than the first time around. To overcome this fear, I will be honest with myself about evaluating how well this decision jives with our ideal life and family situation.
Fear of what could happen. Car accidents. Loss. Losing loved ones.
Same fear as last year: disappointing others. I've been working on that and I think I've gotten better, but I still feel a pull towards always wanting to please people. It's holding me back and restricting me from doing things I want to do or know is right. I also need to speak up more even if it means making people feel angry or uncomfortable. I think people need to be uncomfortable in order for change to happen. I have to embrace the discomfort that this might cause me--and be OK with it.
I am fearful of moving to Mexico. Partially because I am afraid of moving and living someplace unfamiliar without full knowledge of the language. Primarily it is the responsibility I feel that I have to make this relationship work - and if it doesn't leaving him means he will be stuck in a place where he hasn't lived in years, with very little resources to live properly. He keeps asking me to be sure I am okay moving there. We even joke about it, that I will deliberately say yes, and then leave - as if I wanted to get revenge. I tell him I can't say how the relationship will progress. I don't know if he will go back to drinking, making it harder for me to stay in the relationship. It is a risk- primarily for him, to chose to leave the US and move to Mexico with me. But I have to try - I have BELIEVE that our relationship of almost 8 years has the legs to make it and thrive. So I keep on planning for this move and believing that we will have a good life and most importantly - we keep talking about the fears, concerns and joys in our relationship - that is ultimately what will keep us together and making the move to Mexico the right thing.
I work on not fearing. F- false E- evidence A - appearing R- Real But sometimes I still do... I am learning to deep breath through the hard times until I reach a balanced shore again. Psalm 27
The fear of failure has always limited me. If I start something and can’t do it well immediately, I get frustrated and give up. I want to focus on being ok with not being perfect and just do what makes me happy, whether I’m naturally good at it or not. Hi
basically same as every year; straddling the line of no fear and so no rush, with is my stuff good enough to push forward. am i really making/doing anything worthwile? and only time will tell
I’m afraid that I will never fall in love again. I think therapy is a good first step. I need to actively try to stay open and make time to go on dates and meet new people.
I fear I don't actually have imposter syndrome and that I'm actually an imposter. I fear that I don't have any real skills and that all of my fancy education was all luck. I fear that I'm never going to be "successful" or have "enough" money.
I'm afraid of not being a good father - I worry about working too hard. I worry about being too distracted. I just want to give 100% attention to whatever I am doing at any given time.
Another question which irks me. One concrete answer I can provide it this: I have been fearful of getting the cardiac ablation surgery which has been recommended for my supraventricular tachycardia, but I am going to schedule it within the next few months.
I am afraid of failing. I am afraid of not having full agency. I am afraid of being homeless. I am afraid of being alone. I don't know if I can let them go. They drive me as much as they limit me.
Fear of failure. Fear of missing out-- like really missing out on opportunities because I went down another path in life, or committed to something that makes this new exciting path unattainable. Fear of the extreme disappointment, unhappiness, resentment, and especially shame that could result from that. That is my biggest, paralyzing fear right now. I don't have a definitive plan for overcoming this (school might be a start), so I might start with this book that my mom sent me, which arrived today, Yom Kippur, called "Unfu*k Yourself". We'll see where that takes me. I would also like to focus my thoughts on what I have accomplished, what my growth qualities are, and the present moment, where everything is ok, and I'm not filled with the disappointment and regret that I fear awaits me in my future.
I’m afraid to be a self-starter at work, and this fear has kept me in a bureaucratic role that’s not well aligned with my values and where I’m micromanaged. This year, I’m going to power through the fear and accept my own power. I’m going to become a clinical supervisor of a program that I believe in and seek my own supervision from people I respect. I’m going to be the therapist I know I’m meant to be.
A limited belief I have in myself is that I'm too young to have certain knowledge at work. I also fear the weights room at the gym and that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm scared of teaching Pilates too, but I'm not 100% sure why. I'm going to just get in the weights room with a plan and get uncomfortable.
Not being legit. Impostor syndrome has always been something I struggled with. Fortunately enough, it doesn't limit me as much as it could, because I still go oustide of my confort zone and seek to do stuff related to my study field. It's just playing really bad tricks with my mind. Makes me feel like less. Makes me forget everything I achieved so far, and that it wasn't only pure luck but hard work. I guess I have to work on my mental health. But this kind of things don't disappear that easily. I need to build my academia confidence, confidence in my knowledge and skills.
Boję się samotności, muszę bardziej polegać na sobie.
I think one of my biggest fears is being alone. I'm a really social individual, I have a loving family and a great girlfriend, but I hate being alone. I don't ever want to be alone with my inner monologue, to the point where if I'm in the car I try to find someone I can call. Sleeping is always a challenge, too, because when the lights turn off and my head hits the pillow, it's just me alone with my thoughts. I don't know how I'm going to become a person I can be around—perhaps healthier habits and more discipline?—but I don't think I'll reach my full potential until I can learn to love myself.
I fear I won't be good at anything & so I don't attempt to try anything big, bold or new. Then I can't fail, because I never tried. I have really stopped living my life due to fear. I have wasted about 4 years of my life now, because I won't just step out in faith. I want to start going to counseling to work out where the root of my issue is & overcome. I don't want to waste anymore of my life in fear!
My fear is I will say something or do something that can "break" someone. I plan to bite my tongue I plan to think about where the attack is coming from I will try to be more positive and loving in this relationship. I will limit my expectations and take a big breathe.
Fear of what others think of me. It has kept me from speaking up, or moving towards people who I don't know well. My plan is to keep trusting God and praying for Him to give me courage.
I have a lot of fears. I fear my marriage is coming apart and maybe beyond repair. I fear my country may be beyond repair. I fear that we do not have the will to do that which must be done about our problems, big and small. And I fear that I have no energy to overcome these fears. So, I will just get smaller and more invisible.
the specter of declining physical health as i (and my husband) age; trying to take the various steps to remain active and healthy without going overboard.
I'm afraid of change, to the point where a last minute schedule change stresses me out. I want to not cling to the known so hard, even when, as in the torah portion, the unknown and divine burns up the most precious of the known.
I don't know if I'll overcome it that fast, but the fear of failure has definitely affected my progress more than I'd like. I know, logically, that I'm sabotaging myself, but it's hard to pull out of that mindset after so long. I'm taking baby steps to move forward, and I hope it passes over time.
I'm afraid of not being good enough. That the things I've accomplished are too small to rate. That I won't be a success and that I'll let my family down. I constantly compare myself to others to see whether I measure up. I rank myself as being better or worse than other people. These thoughts do not serve me. I am not better off for having made those false calculations, and I only end up hurting myself and lashing out at others who are close to me. I have to remind myself: 1) I am on this journey. It is the only one I have. 2) Looking over my shoulder at the achievements of others will not bring me any happiness. 3) I am so grateful for everything I've been given, and excited to see where I go next.
My fear is that I will never finish this dissertation. My progress is stymied by so many factors and the end looms unreachable in the future.
I need to let go of giving permission to others to judge me and let any negative judgement impact how I feel about myself. It's not a huge problem for me but it happens often enough that I need to work on it this year.
I have a fear of loosing money so I am quite risk averse when it comes to leaving a company I work for and trying new, exciting passions that could be marvellous but could also cost me a lot monetarily. I am happy to support my husband if he chooses to be more entrepreneurial but I am not willing to leave salaried employment. As an alternative, I would like to dedicate some time to making money outside of my company if there is enough time to do so. Things such as: Writing a screenplay, making cards, selling vintage clothing, drawing/painting.
I'm very afraid of not being seen as capable. That's part of why I've never stuck with anything difficult, because I don't want anyone to see me fail or struggle. I'd love to develop a skill this year, so I'm going to have to face that if I want to get good at anything.
I am terrified of asserting my professional awesomeness (inasmuch as I have any) and, even more, of allowing others to vouch for me publicly. This is extremely limiting my job search, in that I'm basically not engaging in one. I plan on practicing by applying to jobs I'm not sure I'm qualified for, starting as privately as possible, not because it's a great way to job-search but because it'll be good practice. I also hope to acquire more professional accomplishments, which does not address the root of the problem, but it'll help me get a leg up on making progress with it.
I continue to live with a fear that I am not good enough. I have a habit of measuring my worth based on my achievement of unrealistic plans and on the love that I receive from others. The person I am becoming spends more time believing he is good enough just the way he is. I am hoping that continued cultivation of practices around self-reflection, showing up as vulnerable, and choosing to do less will help me further overcome this fear.
Ego Clinging Grasping Need for others approval
My biggest fear is that I will live my life alone and never achieve my dreams/ hopes for life, but the fear that has limited me is the fear of rejection. I'm afraid that if I am my total true self, unfiltered that no one will like me. It is the ultimate insecurity and has stopped me from making new friends, creating new relationships romantically, advancing in my career etc. I am planning on seeing a psychologist this year to start working on this.
Which one? Fear of life, fear of being wrong, fear of trusting someone, fear of being single forever, fear of showing authentic emotion, fear of rejection, fear of the things I am too fearful to even write down? They've all limited me by keeping me in a prison of my own self, never truly opening up entirely to anyone, trapped with the voices in my own head that confidently tell me that I'm going to always be alone, that no one can possibly love me if they know what I am really like, that no man could ever find me attractive, that in the fairy tale possibility of me even getting married it would only be because the guy was settling, that I'll always be scared because that's how I'm wired, that no person in the world can really be trusted because while they might be devoted and faithful to other people they won't care enough about me to stay committed. I have no idea how to overcome it, but I'm going to take Pastor Joaquin's advice and make that 4 inch shift to seeking the kingdom first, and take my focus off of me, not by works of righteousness, but by trusting that God is the one who I can depend on fully and completely and he wants to know me, not for anything I can offer, but because of all of who I am.
My biggest fear is always that I am never enough. Wow, the way this question is posed makes it sound as solvable as not wearing white after Labor Day. I hope to write more, to pray more, to sleep more, and to give myself a break more often.
This is a big one, and it's kind of related to last year's answer. I still have to work on my willingness to be vulnerable. Last year it was in a general sense, and I feel like I worked on it and have improved a lot! Now, specifically, I need to be able to be vulnerable in love. For the past four years, I've had feelings for a person who I'm not allowed to have feelings for--he is married and has a very happy family. It's almost been nice to have feelings for him, because there was never a chance anything would happen between us, which meant I could love him and never worry about him returning feelings or not, never worry about having a relationship with him and that falling apart. He is just a safe place where I decided to put my feelings until I needed them later. Well, now I need them. For a specific person, but also it was about time for me to take them back anyway and move on with my life. But that's terrifying. It's so scary to think that I might give my feelings to someone who could hurt me again like M did. I'm such a different person now, but I've spent all these years since M forming that personality. Not all in response to the time I spent with M, but some of it surely was based on those experiences (and with good reason, because I don't want to repeat those experiences). The person specifically who I'm thinking of, maybe he and I will still be a thing in one year, and maybe we won't, and maybe it's telling that I just typed that sentence. Why do I feel the need to qualify everything I say when I get close to having feelings like that? Why can't I just really like him, and if for some reason it doesn't work out I can deal with that then? And then on the other end of the spectrum--why do I like him so much so fast? I only started noticing my feelings a few weeks ago, and now we've started something, and he's trying to figure things out and I guess I am too.... but at the same time, I'm really enamored with him. He's kind and sweet and fun and handsome. But he's also a lot like M in a lot of ways. The good ways, from what I know, true, but what if I'm just falling back into who I was back then? What if I'm falling way too fast, not guarding myself, not making backup plans, being weak? Is loving someone being weak? As you can tell, future self, I'm still a mess when it comes to all of this. It's been so long since I've had a relationship that it's hard to imagine having a happy one. This person seems like he'd be a good candidate, but if you're reading this next year, and it all fell apart, I hope you're in a good place and willing to try again, and again, until you find happiness.
I have a fear of failure that permeates everything I do. If I get too attached to someone, I fear the relationship will fail and I sabotage it. If I really enjoy doing something, I fear I won't be as good as I want to be so I don't try as hard. This coming year, I will embrace all of these things and try to let go of that fear, accepting that I will fail and I can use that as an opportunity to do even better next time.
I have a fear that I will never be able to have a sense of connectedness to G-d. I’m working on it actively, especially now that I do 12-step work so much, but I very rarely if ever feel any sense of connection, and it frightens me. I’m not sure there’s any way to overcome it, per se...I think I just have to be willing to do the daily work, keep giving up control, and keep an open mind.
Not being enough. Not being loved. That my feelings don't matter. This limits me in ALL THE WAYS. As I said last year, this will be a life long project. I've continued this in therapy, yoga, DBT class, and will continue to do so. I really need to prioritize my yoga and mindfulness practice to make this happen regularly.
fear of falling off a kayak I don't go on a kayak I might think about going on a kayak
I fear failure. Overcoming it, idk... Just keep pushing forward
I have a fear of being vulnerable in regards to my career. I have a fear of looking desperate. I hide, and I pretend everything is ok, I have opinions on what other people are doing, I pretend I am doing GREAT, and then I get more desperate... and it's starting to leak out. I'm worried it's all anyone sees. I have been working on removing my work as my higher power since I did my steps 2 years ago and it has gotten better. I will completely conquer this in the next year. I'm not entirely sure how, but God will help me. I will take actions every day to vanquish this, by asking for help, by being honest, and by taking risks. I will listen and show people grace. I won't give advice EVEN WHEN I'M ASKED Cuz that just re-inforces the narrative that I know wtf is happening. I don't need the flattery. I will act like a new-comer and try again. xo
Me da miedo ser feliz o cuando siento felicidad porque de ahi si me pongo triste o pasa algo en el que estoy muy triste (o me podría hacer muy triste) digo wau como es que fui ingenua de otras cosas que pasan en la vida. La vida es injusta y si llego a estar triste de nuevo siento que dolería tal vez mas salir de ello.
Still working on that financial anxiety. Everything feels so fragile, like it could fall to pieces at any moment, but it never does. We always keep on and I suppose we would were the shit to hit the proverbial fan as well. So I need to meditate.
I’m simultaneously afraid that my voice will be privileged over others because of my draw in the genetic lotto, and that my voice won’t be heard at all in the cultural conversation. The thing is, neither fear matters if I am not saying anything anyway. My job is to say things that matter, as artfully and conscientiously as possible. The marketplace of ideas can sort the rest out.
Fear of not being loved, not being seen, being allone and not being able to exist. I will overcome it by loving myself, see and express myself and my talents, enjoying the time with me and connecting with beautiful people and by expressing myself earning the money I deserve and which supports people to bloom and building homes for a better future. For an new world, full of beauty, love and harmony. With nature and not against it. For future generations to come. Giving more than we took.
I worry that people don't like me. It affects me because I lose sleep. I have to remember that I can only control what I do, and try to treat others with love in my heart even when I feel misunderstood.
I’ve tended to think/say that I’m quite fearless, brave and therefore not limited by this kind of thing. Perhaps I am daring, and because of my upbringing willing to think and act for myself, but if I am a little less casual, more specific with definitions and honest with myself I’m not sure that I truly have been these things. I suppose I am able to begin to admit a little more of my fears. For example: 1. That I am no good at finishing things. 2. That I have nothing truly smart to say. 3. That I am not clever enough. 4. That I am a failed son. 5. That I will be a poor father. 6. That I can’t focus. 7. That my health will only get worse Are these limiting self-beliefs? I don’t want to approach them in such a precocious way - not that positive thinking is worthless, but it would be callous and brash to just brush them away. Another way to examine and/or overcome is to examine them (R.A.I.N!) 1. I tend to be better at starting things but I have finished them too (eg Edinburgh Marathon). Maybe it’s more that I’m not so good at walking away? And/or if I’m to be less ego-centric and more team-oriented then I can see where I am stronger and where I might need to call on the support of others. Ali and Avi helped me finish the marathon strong, and I also managed my expectations. As I’ve learned from Richard - a careful and more sensitive start can also support a better finish. 2. Listening can be smart, and choosing words carefully. To be sure don’t swallow them, or repress, speak when the time comes. But that doesn’t have to be all of the time. 3. For what? I have everything I need. 4. The work on the solo quest this year as well as with Richard has tackled this head on. It’s not true. 5. Same as above 6. Yes, it’s true that I can sometimes struggle with this. Mainly when I am tired though, overwhelmed (both inevitable outcomes of overworking) and/or don’t give myself the best chance and support I know I need. Returning from paternity leave I’m quite clear about this. There’s a lot I can do to help myself here - specifically do less, respect and rest my body and soul (rising sun...), scaffold myself and be friendly and forgiving to myself in the harder moments (rather than forceful and self-flagellating). 7. On the one hand, that’s universally true. It’s called getting older! On the other, I am more informed, aware and proactive than I have ever been which means that - with gentle discipline - this doesn’t have to be a vicious slide. Also looking good isn’t the same as feeling/being good... prioritise the latter!
Being back in a High School environment has made me realize that in some ways I’m really not as confident as I could be, I think sometimes my appearance and personality to cause me to be too self conscious. Like when I speak to really posh popular high school girls, the type who I would have been afraid of when I was in high school, I think I’m still a bit too self conscious around them. It I think I’ve also gained so much perspective since my time in High School and realized how petty it all was.
Jag är rädd för mina föräldrar. Det har hämmat mig och påverkat det mesta jag gjort i mitt liv. De har lärt mig att man ska ljuga sig fram i livet. Det är verkligen hemskt. Jag ska ta mig ur denna hemska cykel genom att applicera två regler specifict från Jordan Petersoms "12 Rules for life, An antidote to chaos" 8. Tell the truth - or at least don't lie. & 10. Be percise in your speach
I have no special fears. Sure I worry about various things as they come up, but I try to handle them and move on
As of right now, I have an immense fear that I will not get into any of the colleges that I really would like to attend next year. I would also classify this as a fear of failure and it has certainly put a lot of stress on me and my parents. Every Time before I have even had a certain class, I get a text from my parents regarding a certain grade on a specific assignment. These actions have evidently added to my levels of stress and happiness, especially when I have to worry about College. I have worked hard to get the good grades the past four years, but I still feel as though this may not be enough for colleges or for my parents. I am constantly thinking about the “what-ifs”in terms of what-if I got a better grade on this test or what if I put five more minutes into doing that homework assingment. For myself specifically, these questions make me angry and dissapointed with myself, but in the end I have to try to make the best out of theses situations. I understand that I will get into some schools, but a lot of my “reach” or “target” schools will be easier to get into if I can do better on the SAT. Waiting for the SAT scores this past week and next have been extremely painful, and I am constantly thinking about whether or not I reached the standard required by these Colleges and Universities. I am afraid that if I do not get these scores up, on what is ultimatley my last ditch effort, I will not only let myself down, but also my family and teachers. I feel this way because they have invested in me over the past four years, and while I tried each and everyday, I still feel as though I could have done more to help myself in this process. Which is ultimatley why I have a constant fear of failure.
I am constantly fearful. Fearful that I will be abandoned, that I'm useless, that I'm unloved, that everyone talks about me and hates me, that I use my mental health as an excuse and I'm just lazy and bad. They limit me everyday - although it's hard not to see it as *me* limiting myself everyday. I don't know how to let it go other than continuing with medicine and therapy, but I sure as hell hope that I can at least let a tiny piece of it go over the coming year.
I worry about not being good enough - not being a good enough mom/wife/therapist/self. And because I limit myself in this way, I think I short myself and others.
All of the financial fear has guided my career and the past 10 years. I thought this was feminism AND I thought this was a game I could win. I couldn't have predicted that every millennial entering the workplace would be like a top performing member of my generation, and I didn't want to explain/compete to get some fairness in compensation. I am throwing in the towel for a bit, because it matters less to me. It is not my responsibility to pull up every woman in society, or every person of color of every gender, or be an inspiration or a busting open of expectations. Let me bust open my own: I was a musician and a dancer and a writer. Those are my three things. The fact that I am good at tech and organizing and talking to people is a product (heh) of that, not an anomaly, or a tangent. However now the evolution feels tangential and the tangent feels bad and rotten. It's time to change, even if that means a radical lifestyle change. It just must be done. The fears are paper tigers.
In general, I’m scared of many things, as anyone should be. Some people might say that their not scared of something but deep inside, they know that their scared of something that they want to keep secret. The things that I am scared of are not so weird, especially not as weird as my brother who is scared of ketchup. Yes. The condiment. Ketchup. I, on the other hand, am scared of mustard. That was just a joke; in fact, I love most condiments as most Americans do. You have probably realized that I am trying to avoid what my biggest fear is. I can’t ignore it for too long, even though I have two paragraphs left. Here it goes. I’m scared of.... Dramatic pause...... Tests. What an anticlimactic answer. It’s true, I am genuinely scared of tests no matter the subject. The SAT still gives me nightmares as do my AP scores. I’m scared of tests because I’m not good at them. I know the material going in but I just get too intimidated. You’re probably thinking that I’m just dumb and probably should study more. I do study. A lot. I review for tests sufficiently in advance, do what the teacher tells me to do which consists of completing a study guide, looking over notes, studying vocab, key concepts, definitions etc. Like I said, I know the material I, usually, don’t do so well. My biggest enemy is multiple choice as I consistently, or inconsistently, erase my, what was to be, correct answer, to place a last minute answer so that my scantron doesn’t fill a pattern. This sounds stupid but I don't think that I am in the minority. If people weren’t so scared of tests, than why would celebrities pay prestigious institutions to accept their children? Why does the college board make so much money even though its a not-profit organization? People like me, or unlike me, or most likely scared of tests. Simple. One test is not a fair way of demonstrating what knows about the material. Look at the SAT for instance. As I roam the hallways of Bc High, I constantly hear about kids being known as, to be frank, “bricks” getting almost 100 points higher than my SAT grade. Good for them don’t get me wrong but it bothers me a ton as someone who dedicated 30 minutes a day for two months, every Thursday for 2 hours for 6 weeks, and many practice tests just to get a grade that inaccurately represents me. Most teachers will they to sugarcoat it saying that they don't look at their students differently once they see their tests but thats just a lie. With college applications in progress, I hate looking on Naviance and seeing that my test scores wont get me into my once dream schools. Maybe my college essay will? That’s a stretch but worth a shot. These next four weeks of school in which I not only have to study for tests, I have to submit college apps and if there’s one thing that scares most bad takers is this: our college future.
I'm scared that every day will be my last. A lot of the time I push past it and try to make the best of every day, and sometimes the fear overcomes me and I retreat for a day on the sofa. I don't plan to change that behaviour. I can't overcome this particular fear, because it will always be there. I have incurable cancer. I just need to keep practising what I have been for the last few months: on bad days, I take my time. The next day will be better. A life well-lived doesn't mean living life to the max every day.
I fear several things-two in particular limit me. My fear of growing older and not being able to work and find fulfillment. Ageism is real. My second fear is of my children not getting on with their lives. I want them to be successful, in whatever way they define that. I worry they won't. I think the only way to letting these fears go is to not let them weight me down. I have very little control. I need to enjoy what I have and not worry so much about what I might lose.
Last year, I wrote about my panic attacks around being trapped or out of control. That, honestly, has gotten better this year-- I've learned better ways to handle it and am trying a variety of natural remedies (shout out to CBD baybee!)-- but on a broader sense, I have fear around this fear that maybe I'm not the World Traveler, Easygoing Lady, Adaptable Adventurer that I have always fancied myself to be and that I value about myself. I want to let go of this fear-- either by releasing the need to be so easygoing and adventurous or by getting through the expressions of these fears or by reconciling the two. Maybe it's okay to be fearful AND adventurous; maybe these two things aren't opposed.
I am afraid Husband's cancer will continue to be resistant. I am afraid of how difficult stem cell transplant will be. On a personal/selfish level, I still listen to the messaging that my physical being informs my worthiness. I fear this will never be different, but I hope to get closer to letting it go this year.
I'm not sure how to answer this to be honest... What has limited me this year wasn't exactly fear. It was finding how little control I had over my own life and how easy this could have been resolved and avoided. The thing I'll need to "let go of" is the anger and resentment. I'm working on that.
i think i have a major fear of getting too close to people, of being too vulnerable, of sharing too much of myself. maybe some piece of this is a fear of having needs or depending on others to help meet them. after reading about attachment styles, i can understand that these are traits typically deemed avoidant. i want to work on being more trusting, open, and vulnerable about my needs. and along these lines, i want to stop running from the possibility of romantic relationships. i'm ready to overcome the fear of being needed by others or being expected to stick around.
I am afraid of doing the wrong thing, pursuing the wrong path. It has limited me because I become so afraid of doing the wrong thing that I do nothing. I fail to act until something has become a crisis, at which point I act without regard for what might be the best course of action. I realized this when a martial arts instructor pointed out that I don't enter into the fight, then I get frustrated and go all in and eat a lot of punches and throw punches wildly. My boxing errors are a metaphor for some of my life errors. Seeing it was key. Now that I see this pattern, I can begin to engage with my anxiety about any possible path. Am I waiting for the perfect moment for the plan I have in my head? How can I let go of that plan and do something with what's actually in front of me? There's almost never a perfect opening. I've spent a lot of time making a plan and waiting for the opening that never comes. I need to look at the openings and respond to them instead.
I've always been really shy and self conscious and that has limited me in a lot of ways - I don't often bring my full self because I am also afraid of rejection so this impacts a lot of my relationships. I have made a lot of progress on that in the past year, and I hope to continue building confidence and pushing myself to put myself out there and bring my full self. Maybe I should take a theater class or something.
I am coming to terms with the fact that I have fear. A friend recently told me that anxiety is most times fear coming out. I need to name it and address it, she said, so here I go... 1. I am fearful that I will not be able to keep up with the bills and at the same time, I am fearful that I will have to stop spending. 2. I am fearful of how John is handling his life right now but know I can do nothing to help him. It's his journey. 3. I am fearful of what people think of me. This is a new phenomena for me because I'm pretty self-confident. My childhood of not being cool enough and not fitting in is coming out and I really need to address it.
I have seen lots of changes in the education and issues that the organized Jewish community has dealt with over the years and think that the issues being addressed now more important than ever- there is certainly a lot at stake and if we do not address them meaningfully we jeopardize many aspects of Judaism in the future and/or the possibility that those meaningfully Jewishly engaged now will only be minimally involved in the future.
I fear a few things. Losing my partner, that my partner will not follow through on his commitment to me, that waiting for him to be ready will continue for another few years, that we could lose our jobs that allow us to spend so much good time together. For these fears, I simply have to push through and remind myself not to become weird or whiny when the fear gets strong.
The fear of people leaving me or not wanting me - therapy I guess? The fear of being seen as dumb - naming it to the people I fear it most from, and recognizing when it holds me back.
I think I constantly have a fear that something bad will happen, or all the amazing gifts that G-d has given me will be taken away. This holds me back significantly as when I am super anxious I am unable to be present in the moment and be my best self. I plan to overcome that this year by starting therapy and developing internal coping mechanisms, as well as talking things out with loved ones and taking time for self-care.
I have a fear of being judged and an impostor complex. This was a theme last year and it continues to be. This year it has manifested most obviously in my hesitance to volunteer to canvas and campaign for causes that matter to me.
I'm afraid that the best way to grow the company will involve laying off someone who has worked here for a very long time. I'm even more afraid that I'll *think* that's the path to growth, I'll ax someone's job, and then it won't really help anything after all.
Fear of not having anything to show for my life -- but that's also playing into why I want to change careers.
I fear a lot of things. But I also know that almost nothing you worry about will end up coming true. So I'm trying to live moment by moment. Stay grateful and humble. And really enjoy what I have (and I do, for the most part), because it's so much. I have everything.
Health issues continue to be concerning. I have made some progress in letting go and just handling 'what is' on a day to day basis and will continue to be as realistic as I can. That also means up-ing my efforts to get more active and more conscious of my nutritional needs.
I have always let my personal insecurities and fears get in the way of taking professional risks until now. No more. I won’t jinx it as I am still interviewing for jobs but I hope I will be in a new *career* (not just a job) by the end of this month!
I have a fear of not doing my best or not being perfect. It keeps me from doing quite a bit because in my mind, I think if I'm not good at it or I know I won't do it well, why bother? Life is not about doing things perfectly, it's about doing things PERIOD. I need to get over it and just make it happen.
I fear failure. And not being able to learn from it. My pride is too quick when it's not about that. I hope to get better at being a better student in life situations, outside of classrooms. Learn Spanish and be brave and try more. Learn to ride a bike and not be scares or emotional when I'm afraid. You will hurt yourself but you will also survive. You've done a lot of ridiculous things, so channel that bravery elsewhere!
I’m still afraid of change in some ways, even though things change all the time, and usually for the better! I don’t know how much it limits me anymore because I’m so accustomed to just doing things anyway, regardless of the fear. All I can do is keep moving forward and know that the more new changes I move through, the less the fear becomes.
I fear people getting too close to the real me and I fear no one ever doing so. I think I keep people at a distance which they can sense and I think it has stopped me from making any genuine connections with people. I wrap it up in judgement, that other people don't share my politics or my values or they smoke or something I don't like - which may be true - but I think a lot of it is to do with me and my deepset fear that anyone who gets close to me will be Lisa all over again. I think I have lost faith in people and loyalty and I have trust issues, after what happened with Ger and with Lisa. While I think myself so self-reflective that I'm beyond these guarded hang-ups, I think maybe that's just a convenient way of not looking at the facts. In the upcoming year I hope to continue my efforts to meet new people and to overcome my default persona and show some people who I really am...or work it out for myself first if I need to.
I have been limited by fear of myself. Fear of being who I really am meaning fear of even trying to cope with my mental health because what if I failed? I didn’t think I could handle that. Now that I’ve finally begun, I’m not so scared of failing but I am still a little scared of myself. There’s so much I don’t know about me. I feel like a little kid again kind of. I’m questioning so much about myself. And I have been afraid to look too closely at me because I’m afraid that I’ll find that the reason I feel the need to “work” for people’s love and affection is because I, myself as a person, really don’t deserve those things. I totally get that is not rational and that in any case highly unlikely. But it lingers. I’m going to try to let go of that and overcome it first by getting to know myself then by venturing out more into the real world instead of continuing to isolate myself. I am going to explore my interests, hopefully find some passions, and meet some people in line with both who I am and who I want to be. I don’t mean to continue seeking validation from others but rather to show myself that knowing and caring about myself genuinely will create an inner validation that will make it more likely for me to be able to connect with people in a meaningful rather than a fearful way that makes me feel like I need to bring more to the table than just myself. I want to face my fear that I am not enough and kick it square in the nutsack. And I’m gonna.
I have a fear of anger. My own, and that of those I've hurt. I have a fear of never being forgiven for my transgressions. And, in the end, the solution in my mind, is to not care about the forgiveness if they are no longer in my life. I worry that I won't be enough, or that I'm not doing the right things now to live an ok life later, but focusing on the beauty of life and letting my prayers be that of gratitude, no matter how badly I'm doing, those philosophies will guide me to a better life no matter what.
Getting old feels bad. I'll take a stoic approach of acceptance and counting my blessings. ...she says, uncertain.
i'm scared of trying something completely new! putting money and time and sincere effort into something that may fail! i'm scared to vulnerably show my desires and passions to the world! but it is my gift, my self, my value, my responsibility to try.
I'm afraid of seeking out the things I believe I do deserve: love as more than an abstract concept, a meaningful romantic relationship, a viable business I don't have to hide, sharing myself with strangers through music, and a life worth living.
I have always feared the teenage years of my kids. I think I need to relax a bit and try to roll with the eye rolls and emotional tantrums. I need to steady the ship so that when they rock it, nobody goes overboard. Sweet metaphor, eh?
I have a fear of "cold-calling." I hate approaching strangers for information, advice, or favors. It's really inhibiting me in my effort to achieve things, and I need to prioritize getting things done over my anxiety to avoid uncomfortable or weird conversations.
I am scared of giving up. I feel like I am already doing it, but not admitting it. I need to find the thing(s) that makes me happy, not just things that I enjoy.
Fear of disappointing others. I would always say yes and then struggle to deliver. Or lie. Or beat myself up. Or push myself to unhealthy lengths to pull through. I'm learning improved time management skills and project management skills and communication skills so that I can better know whether I can really accomplish, decide whether it should be a yes or no, and convey that decision with confidence.
The great devil, cancer, in all its forms, please, be away from me!
Not enough money for retirement and keeping standard of living we are used to without needing a part time job. Need to not be hesitant with how we are investing and changing strategies as needed. Be more proactive with checking on computer for this and healthcare options to feel have more control.
Yesterday, I started working with a therapist about the rapes. If the dreams are any indication, I spend more effort than I realize trying not to think about them. I hope I'll be able to not let it/them affect my life.
Big fear- scarcity, not making enough money to maintain a comfortable lifestyle. The new fear that's come up this year is of breaking bones and becoming frail/being in terrible pain/not being able to get around/take care of myself. To begin to let it go- work more diligently on finding a viable parnassa for myself. Looking at savings to get sense of what my financial situation actually is. Returning to the gym to work on building bone/endurance. Work on Positive thinking.
A fear that has limited me is my own insignificance. I have impact beyond what I know. All my work and life matters. My greatest impact may not be on my own generation. Move positively forward.
This year I was really worried about doing permanent damage to my knees. I felt deterred from doing things, walking mainly, and having a full day of activities. I didn't like the feeling that I could no longer carry myself in the most basic sense, that I am wearing myself out. It's why I want to be more active next year. I realise that this has to do with aging in me and illness in Janette. This fundamental fear of getting older hasn't limited me as such, rather posed a challenge. And having healed my knees I'll continue to strengthen them and keep my body moving next year.
I fear I will become more and more lonely as the year progress. I am lonely now. Single friends live far away. Married friends are kind and nice, but do not invite me to participate in events (e.g., concerts,movies, etc). I am not sure how to overcome this loneliness.......
Rats! The rats in my backyard mean that I have not taken advantage of spending time out there because I am afraid of them. It's a nice space and we have a grill now, so I'm disappointed that I haven't wanted to use it. I hope to continue remind myself that they are just creatures who live here too, and they are probably also scared of me.
Fear of looking stupid or being yelled at by my teacher for not knowing my new material in karate has prevented me from learning it by keeping me away from black belt class where I *would* be able to work on it. It's the stupidest circle & it's all ego, because no one is looking at me. I don't know how to go back. Another of my teachers, when I told him I'd had a hard time coming, said "it's just us." I keep telling myself it's just us, I'm part of the group, not some superstar who can't be seen to flag. But it's hard.
A fear of being incomplete. It's limited me because I've searched for happiness outside of myself and grasped for things that maybe weren't healthy for me. That isn't to say that I can't still take pleasure in outside things, but I want to remember that I am whole and complete in myself.
Starting a practice of my own , I feel I don’t have a lot to offer, I have a fear of thinking big. I plan to overcome it by finishing my studies and start a practice
I think becoming a parent makes you so much more aware of mortality and that there are no guarantees in life. It's absolutely f*****g terrifying if you think about it too much. I just swallow it down but considering the events of a few years ago I have been considering bereavement counselling.
Financial scarcity. I am not sure that it is something to be let go of, rather than to loosen its hold on me. I don't know that letting go is a reasonable expectation at this point in my life. I feel like I would like to be able to better dance with it in the coming year. My plan as to how to do it? Notice it, open the space for it. Engage with it, step away, step closer. Stay curious.
Fear of cleaning/setting foot in the kitchen (from OCD). It’s a lot to unpack—ERP therapy is supposed to help but I don’t know if I’ll be able to find a therapist who I trust and can afford. I might let my husband enable me for another year.
Fear of being exposed, or being rejected. I think I'm aiming for awareness more than overcoming that fear, this coming year. Feel the fear, take comfort, find a small way forward.
I have a lot of general anxiety about the direction our country is headed after yet another year of Trump and his evil cronies trying to create division and hate and deregulate all the protections we managed in the past to put in place for people and places. I worry about the increasing attacks on immigrants and women’s and LGBTQ rights and I definitely worry about anti-semitism and how it might affect me and my family, even here in our beautiful Bay Area bubble. Especially since we are heading into a pretty damn polarized election season, I am going to try to be involved in politics and work somehow for and on the issues and candidates I believe in, though I’m not sure what form(s) that will take yet.
Fear of not impressing everyone, not taking great care of everyone. Fear that my husband and I can't heal our marriage while also being great to ourselves. I'm going to breathe through it all, pull it all in to my heart, and let whatever it is, be. I'm going to lean on tools to understand, but not to change things. I'm going to not try to control anything, not attach to a goal other than self love and care. I'm going to work to stay connected to my higher purpose, my authentic self, and my family - my kids and my ancestors.
I deeply fear abandonment and rejection. Last night I dreamt that I was in a chaotic airport, trying to go through security. My friends sailed ahead and left me behind. My bag was stolen and my dog disappeared. There I was, alone among strangers with everything I had acquired to get me through my journey here on earth gone. This fear leaves part of me feeling always on the outside and insecure: my belonging to anything and anyone feels conditional at all times. My challenge in this next year is to understand what it might look like to belong so deeply to myself that I know I am never alone.
Standing up for myself and what I believe is right has been a fear of mine for some time. My fear is that my stances will cause a rift with people I care about. One of my former co-workers once said "You can't make everyone happy. At most, you will please 70%, so focus on those people." I think that is something that I will take to heart in the coming year.
Zoë is still with us. But she is slowing down. Aging has been really apparent in both my parents this year. The ‘inevitable’ seems looming for all 3. I fear being all alone.
OOh. Fear of settling - in a place, or for a person, or most importantly in my own expectations of myself. Taking up too much space and not giving others the room to breathe and grow. Fear of settling - I think I just have to take some plunges. Keep living without timelines; go somewhere and not know when I'll leave. Pushing myself to take advantage of my time and do the things I'm afraid to fail at because they excite me so much. Being more mindful of where I am, what others' needs are, how to create space for others where they are comfortable. Not sure what specifically yet - I should be. Asking more questions but not pushing for answers... ?
I am terrified to fail. I struggle with imposter syndrome in a major way, and it holds me back. I try hard to remind myself and listen to others that I am good and deserve my accomplishments, but it's hard.
My fear of the dentist is holding me back from getting my teeth fixed, which needs to be done desperately. I hope to find a dentist that I can financially benefit with by using my h/c card and that supplies laughing gas so I'm numb throughout the whole process.. Otherwise I can't go - My fear is too great 😔 I want to be alot more motivated, active, enthusiastic & happy with my life 🌾💕
One fear I have is being single for my entire life. This has resulted in me making fewer appearances in a social setting, as my social anxiety gets the better of me. Over the next year, I will continue working with my therapist on techniques to overcome my anxiety.
Fear and anxiety of imperfection. I’m not a perfect woman. A perfect mom or a perfect employee. But the good news is none of those things exist - so instead I’ll work on doing my best and being kind to myself when I screw up. And being authentic with the right people.
My fear is failing, so sometimes I don't even try. I need to remember all the times I have proven my resilience to failure and obstacles. It is within my nature to keep going and try to overcome so I need to keep this in mind when I give up before I start. I am still working through my fear of not having enough and how it drives me to hoard. It is something I have been slowly dealing with this past year.
I have massive fear and anxiety about marketing myself as a photographer. Somehow it feels like an isolating and lonely venture, yet I derive great joy from taking pictures. Running a business is so much more than that though and there are lots of things I need to do to feel confident about it. I need to take some lighting/flash courses and brush up on some of my other technical skills. But I also need to be more comfortable being uncomfortable so I can push myself to network (which I'm great at) and land clients. I also need to brand my business-what kind of photographer do I want to be?
Oh gosh, so many fears and SO much limitation. Probably the biggest is my fear of being in a relationship and letting someone into my life. The fear of uncertainty when accepting someone as a partner. The fear that I’m going to make the wrong decision and pick the wrong person. I want to be able to let that go because it limits my happiness. Ultimately, I want to be in an exclusive, committed relationship. I want to have a best friend and I want to be someone else’s best friend. I don’t know how to let this fear go. I’ve been afraid for so many years that at this point I don’t even know where to start. I just plan to keep going to therapy and trying to gain confidence in myself, my decision making skill, and my ability to cope when things don’t go as planned.
What is a fear I have? I have a fear of not reaching my fullest potential and living a subpar life. I want to get the most out of life. I think the only way I can release that fear is to take every opportunity I am given to walk in my calling and honor (share) my gifts and talent. Also through a lot of prayer. I'm actually counting a lot on prayer and speaking out my conviction of living victoriously to get me beyond all my fears.
Fear the pain and poverty will take away my independence and life Doing everything I can to stay mobile and working to stop legislation based 'social justice' actions that harm the disabled poor (Medicare For All, et al) as they strip us of support, independence and dignity
Many of my fears have fallen away with antidepressants. I think the fear that remains is fear of loneliness, isolation, and intimate FOMO. Like, people are around me experiencing life with someone by their side, I want that too. But also fear of investing in someone that doesn't do the same for me or isn't compatible. I don't know. Friendship seems less complicated and more rewarding so I shrink into that out of fear. But it's been so long since I had a serious relationship, maybe a good one isn't much different. But the fear of it not working has kept me from pursuing and I would like to overcome that.
I fear that something I have done in my past will come back to bite me. Whether that is social shaming or just a dissolution of friendships, I might deserve it, but I certainly don't want to engage it. I think this year I will communicate with those whom I believe I might have offended or harmed, and deal with the consequences as they come.
Imposter syndrome. They work will realize I basically don’t know what I’m doing and I’ll be out of work as a middle aged woman with declining skills and relevance. How do I get over it? Keep pushing forward, speaking and acting with confidence and authority and hope I pass or perhaps even convince myself.
Let go of the fear of not enough money. Know I will always be ok.
I have a fear of regrets. I'm afraid I will regret the things I haven't done if I don't do them. I plan on overcoming it by doing the things that are in my heart that I feel strongly about doing.
I think my anxiety limits me a lot - it keeps me from following through on my ideas, it makes me second guess myself. Right now I'm concentrating on getting counseling for my son, but maybe I should go back too.
A fear I’ve had is that no one will love me as a woman in real life. I’ve started overcoming this be letting some people get close to me and I’ve developed deep relationships with them. I know I’m capable of being loved and want to continue believing this.
I guess my biggest fear is dying. As I age and find myself falling apart physically and mentally, I can't help feeling that I'm preparing for the end. I have no intention, though, of giving up. I will try to improve my physical health through diet and exercise, and yoga or maybe swimming for my mental health. My health isn't nearly as bad as I sometimes think it is. I'm torn between getting a job to improve the money situation, or maybe becoming an Amazon merchant at home. I don't know if I'll ever get a job anymore. I keep getting turned down. it's frustrating.
Fear is funny. I think I've stayed in the job I have now for too long because (1) it's comfortable and (2) leaving is so scary. There are no guarantees, and here, there aren't either but there are certainly at least some illusions of security...and health and retirement benefits. I'm looking for a job. It's scary as hell. Complacency is easier but I'm halfway to dead if I'm lucky and I don't want to look back and be like "damn, I sat on my ass for 40 years." I plan to have a new one by next year this time.
Fear of death still. Of decay. Bifocals and arthritis are new additions. Stagnation. I need to meditate and I need to move.
I fear that I made a mistake education-wise and I won't ever get a job in my field and I won't get a job that will let me make enough money to buy a house and start a family. I want to be happy in life and I know I encounter social stressors when I am financially unstable and I want to be financially stable enough that I can focus on making myself and the people I love happy. In this next year I want to feel confident academically that I don't have to worry about that direction and I want to have had an internship/job that will lead me in a career direction
I have a fear of rejection. It could be any type of rejection: friendship, romantic interest, programs, and more. I am extremely afraid of getting rejected from these things and it has stopped and prevented me from doing things that I want to do. Some things I want to say to people but don't have the guts to. I would really like to change that.
The fear that there will be a great sterile emptiness of I let go of all the shit that holds me back. Clutter, my job, television and mucking about on my phone. Feel the fear and do it anyway
Not being good enough. I don't know how to let it go or overcome it, but I hope I start heading in that direction.
I realized I often live in the future. I often think so much about goals I still want to reach, that I forget to enjoy what I have now. I expected that a child would help me live for today, but I catch myself dreaming about another baby already.
My fear of being a shitty designer is hitting me hard right now, with my first week back working for Eric. Those Tandem anxieties are coming back, but they are not bad - just an opportunity to push through it and write a new chapter of our relationship as coworkers and friends. I feel nothing but positive things about it. It's a fear from the past that I'm now given an opportunity to release.
I'm still limited by the fear I wrote about last year--fear of making people unhappy. In Spain I have also experienced fear, well fear is a strong word... anxiety about asking for information, about seeming like I don't understand or don't belong. About being annoying or being an interloper. I think I want to work on being less afraid of annoying others.
I am afraid of losing my sharpness, especially at the zoo. I feel I really need to have all the facts at my fingertips and I don't. I am also afraid of illness as I get older. I hope I can let all of that go, what good does the fear do? I am smart enough to get medical help in a timely way and if something sudden comes up I cannot control it. I am much more than competent at the zoo according to the other docents. I need to practice what I would be preaching if I could preach at church. Love overcomes fear, all fears. Love others, love yourself, love the planet and be brave and live NOW, not in the future.
I still feel the same as last year. I’m afraid I’m irreparable and impossible to save. When I’m at my worst, I wonder if maybe the world would be a better place without me in it. I’m afraid I ruin things just by existing. I need to get help, and I know it.
I am fearful of making a mistake in major life decisions (because I have made some big mistakes before in life which have greatly negatively effected me), and so I make no decisions or move forward/change my life in any way, which leaves me in the same boat, stagnant with no progression or movement and also not happy with the way things are in many ways. Instead of over analyzing every possible move and seeing only the negative so therefore I make no move at all, I am going to take risks and make a decision, I will educate myself about the situation and risks as best as I can, but I HAVE to just make a decision and move forward in life!
My biggest fear is ending up alone. I want so badly to be in a relationship. Not for anything other than to have someone to share my journey with and to grow with. I'm not dependant on having someone, but it's just nice to have that special person to share silly jokes with to cry with to debate life with to have that extra support - something friends and family can't always give you. Life is great right now and I'm enjoying so many things and experiences in life. I miss physical touch and closeness with someone. I don't really know how to overcome this fear fully, other than to be patient and also to understand that this may not happen for me. I guess I need to practice acceptance and to cherish the past intimate relationships I've had and to continue with my own journey of self discovery and happiness.
::Googles 'what's a different way to say imposter syndrome':: Probably also fear of failure - not trying things because I'm worried it won't work out, then it would have been a waste of time and maybe will cause embarrassment, disappointment, resentment, etc. So learning how to deal with failure is probably something I should think about. There's something that writers always say, which is that you should aim to receive 100 rejections for your book - obviously, the point is not to fail but to put yourself out there (like when I couldn't sleep when I was a child, my Dad would challenge me to stay up and see the sun rise, which I never once managed!)
I'm afraid of leaving Torchbox. I worry that it would be like leaving Manchester United as a player. It might not be better anywhere else. (Although this is the Manchester United of my youth I'm thinking about. I know the club has seen better days. It is no longer on top of the world.) I've been toying with the idea of going on sabbatical: going to work for GDS or CRE on the understanding that there would be a place for me at Torchbox if I wanted to return after a year or two, to share what I've learned. It's worked for some other people: Ben, Nick, Dave Harris - all have left and come back. How has this limited me? I may have left by now and found a happier, more fulfilling job elsewhere. But it's been such a big year with the wedding, buying a house, the honeymoon, that a new job as well would be a lot. Maybe that's next year's project. Fran got a new job this year, but it still hasn't solved all the things that she worries about. No job ever will. Let's face it. For any of us. So I could give this UX role a real try for a few months in the new year. And if it's not working, or not coming to fruition, I could quit. Go freelance. Apply for CRE or GDS or somewhere else that inspires me. There is life beyond Torchbox. Quitting stuff has worked for me before.
The future! I've not properly examined the future because the idea terrifies me. Being depressed for so much of my teenage years meaning that I never really considered what I was going to do with my adulthood, and then getting to it and realising I have no direction! I'd like to see some kind of counsellor or careers coach to talk through it and find what I'm good at and what I'm passionate about.
I am afraid that losing him will mean I lose my family. I need to let go, because family means that you don't lose each other when things get hard.
I fear about my financial stability and always having a job. I think I am somewhat over it. I need to more actively be more present and letting go.
The fear - but only when I think about it - that I’m running out of time...the number of remains says and years is steadily declining. However, since there’s nothing I can do about it - except to be conscious of and purposeful about how I spend my time - it’s not really a limiting fear. Just an acknowledgement of reality.
God, so many fears. Right now it's about my size and how it limits my accessibility. And if I'll ever find love. And fear of embarrassment, fear of breaking things, of not fitting in seats or clothes. Don't know how to deal with it.
Not being enough. It’s sometimes even made me feel paralysed, like nothing I do can correct the mistakes I’ve made, so it’s not even worth trying. I know on a rational level that this is just anxiety/depression talking, but it feels so real. I’ve laid in bed not doing anything, contemplating how small, insignificant and worthless I am. I’ve not got up, missed lectures and started writing essays past their deadlines because I was so afraid of failing that I thought I might as well fail anyway and not even try to succeed.
I'm not sure of a specific fear - there are so many. I can say that in my meditation app, one of the reasons I find it so engaging is that it asks me to list 5 emotions before and after I meditate; and often - often often often - "apprehensive" is one of those emotions. Definitely before, and often after. (and yes, the meditation is helpful) So I think Phase 1 of this question is to figure out why I'm so apprehensive - what is this about? - and if I can accomplish that this year, then I'll consider it a good year. Next year I can figure out how to let go of or overcome the thing(s) I'm apprehensive about. And YES. One of the things on my list of things to do is to get back into therapy. (Also, my mother is moving in, which I think will be OK, but I'm getting more... concerned about it the closer it comes. And I have relationship anxiety, regardless of Michael's status. So there's lots to discuss there.)
A fear of rejection. I think this partly explains my hesitancy with sex. I don't understand how anyone could find me attractive so I avoid situations where I might get hurt. Counselling is something I need to help rid myself of this.
I have a fear of thinking big for myself. I think this belief is trying to protect me from being hurt in case things don't work out the way I wish. So I go small; asking for less than what could truly be possible, rationalizing that it's not possible for me. I expect there to be difficulties when reaching for my dreams and that middle of the road is good enough. And lo an behold, those are the results I get. I want to let it go this year by reminding myself that anything is possible for ME. And then turn my thinking around to think: well, if my thinking can make true when I expect bad, why can't it make true when I expect good? To catch myself when I have limiting thoughts about my possibilities and remember that I can create WHATEVER reality I wish. If the thought exists, then it is already available in the universe for me.
I am still, and probably always will be, afraid of another 10 years of (insert bad adjective of your choice) depression. I'm not afraid of my mother's death. In some ways, life will be easier. In other ways, not so much.
Gratefully, I took steps to overcome a lifelong phobia this year. I don’t think any other inertia is caused by fear, but instead fatigue, lack of discipline, and lack of time.
I'm afraid of failure, of having regrets and all that mess. So next year I'm going to Guatemala, and I'm gonna make it work, and I don't give two damns what happens afterwards.
I want to not let the wedding and life planning make me anxious or worried. I don't want to be concerned with the nonsense and rather really listen to myself and learn how to handle conflict with more directness and ease and less hiding/pretending it doesn't exist. I want to remember why it is that I do so much of what I do.
I've become much more aware of my mortality in the last few years, especially because of my persistent back pain. I've watched my beauty and youth fade, and I feel less and less valuable or that I have something to contribute. Life is really amazing for me right now in many ways, but it could all be taken away in an instant, and I would be back to being as miserable as I was before I met Clay. So there are a couple of fears there - a fear of aging, death/mortality, losing the privileges and resources I have, losing the general happiness and comfort we have now. It makes me afraid to step outside my comfort zone. Not really sure what to do about it all, but I should probably do more things that scare me and take more worthwhile risks.
I'm still afraid for baby number 4. And how my marriage will suffer for this fear. I want to find happiness in my family the way that it is.
My fear of being judged by people. My fear that everything I say is worthless or foolish...that people don't want to hear or see me for who I am and what I say. I want to hold my head high with the same confidence I had before. Also, my fear of my limitations. I plan to trust myself and G-d and meet more people- to never say die.
This has been a lifelong struggle, but I have trouble trusting people and opening up to them. I struggle to show my true emotions and my true self. This problem was further amplified by a few bad relationships I had, particularly the one with Dave, but also my more recent one with James. I think this has perhaps limited me in terms of developing meaningful connections with people. It has also hindered me in terms of dating because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I need to stop caring about what other people think of me. Going to meetups should help, since the more I interact with strangers, the better my social skills get and the more comfortable I feel around people. Cosplay has also helped me with this problem in the past, because you really have to not care what people think to walk around in a ridiculous costume in public. For that reason and many others, I'd really like to get back into cosplay.
Fear that my body may change. Fear that it won't. Fear that it will for a while and someone will comment on it, or comment on it if it returns to a previous state. Needed: acceptance of my fat body, so I can get on with my life and delight in what my body can do for me.
I'm afraid of performing to people, I'm afraid of talking in public. I want to do work with myself and get over it, so I can speak openly without nervousing. Also I want to sing.
Living a single life for an extended period of time. I think this creates fear as I have had two successive relationships that have spanned an accumulative time of ~5 years. It is scary to think that someone who used to love you will not have these feelings forever, and that very soon I won't have someone outside of my family who feels like this about me. I think the process of letting this go will be made easier through my journey of exploring myself, my own interests and wishes and becoming comfortable with myself.
My insecurities and fears of failure have, in the past, impacted my ability to follow through on things. In the past six years, I've worked really hard on getting back to the core of who I am and making healthy choices in my life. I have been better about taking risks and following through, slowly ensuring that I address the "what ifs" of my previous life, so that I can move forward.
The fear of being so tired I don't do anything and turn into a slob. Impose on myself a minimal activity and automating the boring things (dishwasher, automatic hoover) should help me not slip, because domestic chores are killing me.
I fear that I will never get proper medical help and will lose my ability to walk completely. And therefore lose my self-sufficiency. I may lose everything if that happens. There is nothing I can do about this. It's all up to (mostly governmental) forces beyond my control. Will I get help & accessibility? Will I be in pain my whole life and not know why? Will I one day hike again, or will I need help even using the toilet? What can I do about these fears when there is literally no help for poor, disabled people like me?
After some unexpected medical bills this year, I am worried about my finances. About not being able to afford the basics. I am working on paying off my debt so I can create an emergency fund to guard against this sort of crisis in the future.
I'm scared of my mental illness. I'm scared of what it can do to me, and how it turns me against myself. When I have an anxiety attack, I fear I am losing my mind altogether. Sometimes I'm scared to be alone with myself. This limits the future plans I make, and means that my depressive episodes intensify as I worry how long it will last and what I'm going to do myself. In many ways, accepting that I live with mental illness is freeing. I no longer feel pressure to be consistently mentally healthy, to 'cure' myself. And I think letting go my fears about my future with my mental illness is the next step. The process of doing this I think is largely rooted in taking strength and hope from my own past. 1) Remembering that I have survived this far, and that however intense the pain, it always fades. 2) Remembering that I have the power to ignore the suicidal thoughts, the self-harming thought - that I don't have to act on the bad feelings. 3) Remembering that I have not just stayed alive but I have taken on challenges and survived and completed them. I have moved to new countries knowing no one, I have taken on difficult and high pressure jobs, I stuck through a difficult and potentially dangerous civil disobedience action that pushed my physical and mental limits. I am really strong just to get up every day - I am stronger than my illness. I plan on trusting in myself and my instincts to survive and look after myself - and to not let my fears of a depressive episode or panic attack hold me back from making plans or commitments.
I fear rejection, plain and simple. It's constant. I'm uncertain how I plan to let it go or overcome (or, more realistically, better "cope") with it in the coming year. Ideally I'd be seeing a therapist but it's something I'm not yet ready to commit to.
The biggest fear, the overarching fear, is that I am not enough. Not enough to find love, not enough to write this book, not enough to be healthy. This shame is something that will always be with me, but I am determined to keep trying to recognize it for what it is (a liar), and to keep shining light on it. The more I can expose it for what it is, the less power it will have over me.
I'm afraid of being perceived as imperfect! For years I've crafted my image in accordance with what people are comfortable with seeing. But I'm feeling pretty good. My life is going to take a different path. There's gonna be separation between me and my peers, and I won't have time to be perfect 24/7. Let's start asking questions we're curious about, not the ones that just make us look good. Let's start living and let curiosity take over. People like explaining things; let them.
I am filled with fears and anxiety that I have been working to let go of because I know they are holding me back from so much. Currently my biggest fears revolve around what's next for me in terms of my career and how best to balance that with my family's needs (financial, emotional, practical, etc.) and my recovery. Continuing with my therapy and CoDA recovery work will be key to pushing past my fears and all that's holding me back as well as truly listening to myself and what I need and not just pushing my fears and feelings down.
I terrified of swimming in deep waters when I'm not gradually eased into it from the shallow side. I should get swimming lessons.......and driving lessons. There's so much to learn!
I often fear that I am “too much”. I’ve had people say it to me previously, both friends and significant others (usually as a way to put blame on me) and it’s been something that has constantly bothered me. I’ve thought about it and I know that I care deeply. I love deeply. I am an intense person, but I give and give and ask for little in return. If having a genuinely kind person wanting to treat you well is “too much”... well...
I am about 30 lbs overweight at this point and I don't like how my body looks or feels. I am afraid that others judge me as a I judge myself, and that potential romantic partners will find me unattractive/disgusting. I am trying to both accept my body as it is and also make plans to change it in healthy ways through exercise and cooking meals at home. I think going on dates even though I feel this way is brave and I will continue to try to believe that if someone really wants to be with me, my weight won't matter. After all, my weight will fluctuate throughout my life and I don't want to be with someone who will judge me for it. What a miserable existence that would be!
I have a fear that my hand-to-mouth financial situation is going to catch up to me. Because I freelance, there are a lot of factors which are outside my control that determine my ability to keep up with debt. I am determined, however, to get more and more work for myself as a means of at least minimizing my debt.
Fear of saying no, fear of not being loved, fear of disappointing or hurting others. I hope to let go of these shtuyot and live only with the fear of Hashem.
Wow I'm afraid of so many things. I used to think I was fearless and try so hard to be, but I think being afraid is being human. 1. I'm afraid of losing the people I have. It prevents me from opening up fully and being completely vulnerable and honest. I sometimes put on a persona and it's hard to break that. 2. of letting go. What if what I have now will serve me later (even if it's not serving me now)? Obviously I should hold onto it (or not...). This creates clutter in my life and in my mind and makes it hard to move around. 3. of missing out. I'm afraid that other people will get close without me or have fun without me. It makes me ignore what my body is saying to me in favor of doing what other people are doing or feel left out when I opt out. 4. of failing or being perceived as failing. HUGE emotional tax. 5. of choosing the wrong path forward. What if a decision I make now prevents me from doing something I want in the future? I'm going to work on all of these things by listening more to myself. I'm going to start going to therapy and learn how to check in with myself and my feelings more seriously and thoughtfully. I'm going to let myself make choices and then not beat myself up for the after. I'm going to start treating myself like a loved one.
I am afraid of not being smart/smart enough/the smartest. I am afraid of not being valuable if I'm not smart/enough because some part of my brain still believes smart is the best/only good thing about me. It has in some instances kept me from learning new things from other people or having tender, open conversations because I'm so determined to be the smartest. This year, I'd like to better practice step up/step back and really listen to other people about things they know more about than me (or not!). I'd also like to spend time cultivating my faith in other parts of myself beyond academic intelligence.
A general fear of being wrong. It's made me a person who doesn't take risks, is overly self-critical, and unable to grow as a person. This requires a shift in mindset in order to change. The shift will come from simply taking action instead of over thinking things, and from immersing myself in confidence-boosting situations like working out more, eating healthier, owning my mistakes, and putting 100% effort in to the things I work on. I need to get over this fear of being wrong and not being accepted. It's holding me back in every aspect of my life.
My fear is still my head sweating. It really limits me in what I do and what I go for. I am hoping the hormone replacement will help as well as getting in better shape.
I can't change the world. I don't know how to "let it go" or "overcome it." Working with a counselor. Maybe: replace it with something else, like a quiet / deeper acceptance that this is the path, no matter what? But I'm not sure that speaks to my full beliefs / experience.
I have the fear that my most energetic years are behind me. It is stopping me from fully pursuing my startup and for a long while now it has stopped me from starting my live stream. I am afraid this belief will limit me for the rest of life and limit the confidence I have in myself to start or continue things that are important to me.
I'm worried I lack the discipline to solve my bedtime problem, which means not living up to my potential. Letting it go: okay. I can set a regular bedtime and stick to it because I want those good days. I'm also worried I've forgotten how to have fun.
I have had the fear of not being good enough forever.
I am not really a fearful person but I think at this point I fear letting some people down. In part because I get overwhelmed and lose track of things I should be doing. I think the only way to deal with it is to talk about it.
I fear never being able to change the way I feel in my relationship and then looking back in future years and regretting the lost time... I try not to voice my fear of the seeming randomness of health issues (cancer, etc), trauma (accidents, violence), and mental health challenges that can hit anyone anytime. I need to be better this year about my own health. And I need to try to meditate to calm my brain a bit.
Well there's a dual fear of success and failure. Trying and failing, learning I'm not as talented as I feel. Or maybe succeeding and then having to live up to people's expectations and the stress of that pressure and life choices and changes that will need to be made to accommodate my new career. Both are so strong. I'm not sure how to plow through it all. That's a lot of noise. But there is no plan or guidebook or great insight that will push me through. It's realistically a continuous battle. That won't stop. I'll always be pushing through both of those. The test is to work through the distraction and focus on the joy of accomplishment and the task itself.
The fear that I'm not good enough. And looking back at my previous answer to this question, I'm assured I've made no progress at all toward letting this go. So how do I got about it this year? I think I need to consider two things. First, align my work as much as possible to my core passions. I believe that living consciously in accordance with core values is important to maintaining self-esteem; I can do my best to do this through work and outside of work. Second, align myself with like-minded friends and acquaintances outside of work: book club, socializing, old and new friends. Self-love is actually (paradoxically?) relational; you (I, at least) can't conceive it ex nihilo.
I'm very scared about how everything will be in the future and what will come out of my life. I hope with the help of Chris and the further work with my therapist i'll get rid of this fear and see uncertainty about the future as a chance rather than a burden.
I’m constantly sure that people will disapprove of me. I need to let go of that and be myself.
I have been afraid of fully stepping into my self confidence and my self worth. It’s limited me in everything: from job searching; from bad relationships; to just never feeling worthy. I’ve been working on letting this issue go FOR YEARS and this year have finally started to step into my power. The change has been amazing and I’m so grateful and excited for what this will bring in the year ahead.
I fear that my relationship with alcohol is deteriorating. I have replaced hobbies and personal fitness with sipping a couple drinks to relax most nights. It has limited me in ways I don't fully understand today. I plan on moderating in an effort to keep with a pleasure that has been with mankind for millennia.
The expenses of independent living still scare me, but I have to review the benefits of doing it, and the false benefits of staying put. Right now, I'm in the process of getting back on my feet after losing my job, so I'm not going to put such heavy pressure on myself about it. Fearing what other people think is a big one, and I didn't realize how much that's held me back. It would be really useful to explore this limiting belief and hopefully discover that all of my "what if"s have harmless consequences.
A fear I have held in the past is getting deep and getting vulnerable, and feeling hurt. I am still not great at it. But group therapy was helpful. If you don't share your stuff, you don't get out to move on. I am okay getting deep. I am okay getting vulnerable. I trust myself and my feelings - I can be in the moment, and my grudges and understanding of the past and fear for the future are good guidelines for me to trust myself and be able to communicate and set boundaries and ask questions. I have learned so much. I don't really plan to let go of these fears or overcome them. I plan to sit with them, and be with them, and use them, and learn from them. I don't have to be fearful ALL the time. I can have the fears, and still accomplish what I want to - a deep and fulfilling relationship with my husband and other loved ones.
I seem to have -- at once -- a fear of quiet, and an exhaustion with being constantly busy, constantly striving. There is so much to do. I have so many gifts. Who am I to sit down? That said, I do get chiropractic adjustments, massages, stretches, haircuts, and long walks on the Highline to myself. Date night and even a two-week, kid-free trip to Europe with my lovely husband this year. But there are clients, Girl Scouts, a non-forward-motion teenager to launch ... I don't know my plan for overcoming it. Seems like more work. Perhaps letting go ...
Which fear should I write about here? I don't dwell on my fears on a daily basis, but they are always present just under the surface of my consciousness. The one at the top of my mind in this moment, is the fear that people will not respect or like me. This fear makes me constantly adapt for other people. What is that called, a social chameleon? In social settings, but most professional ones I often read the person and become who they need me to become or who I think I need to be in order to get what I need from the situation. This way of being is inauthentic. So I am unsure of who I am if I am often adapting for others. I fear true authenticity, of being found out that I am not who people think I am. That I don't possess the knowledge, skills or ability that someone thinks I have and therefore I will disappoint them.
What if I can dream? What if it comes true? It's not quite an answer but the idea of doing things before I'm ready at least gets me started!
Fear of emotions/self ignored, neglect, abandonment, invalidation, disrespect, inadequacy I am asking God to help me believe His truth , add note cards and practice truth forlie , spirit for flesh
Not being able to train our puppy, but I will take him to classes and put the effort in to try and help train him as well as I can, plus my husband will be by my side helping all the time!
I have a fear of disappointing people or worse, angering them. That makes me keep my mouth shut, which can limit not just me, but the relationship. Like, I may see the potential to take a conversation deeper, which could be positive for all involved, but I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, and I don't see a graceful way to do it, so I let the conversation stay at the surface. Another way it limits me, is that I don't speak up when something is bothering me. I have the opportunity to work on at least the latter aspect of this in the coming year as my housemate seems to require direct communication, and to not be as bothered as I expect when I ask for change.
The fear of not being good enough. Being afraid makes me undersell myself both professionally and romantically. I know what I’m doing! I’m a catch! And people (myself included!) do not have a lot of patience for validation-seeking. I know I’m good enough. I’ll be patient when I doubt myself but continuously looking for clues that I’m capable or desirable is exhausting. This isn’t new information, I guess, but I need to be reminded. Now coming up with a detailed plan of action for overcoming my fear is the test. I don’t know what to do differently. I never liked the phrase “fake it til you make it” because I don’t want to be a fraud. But if I reframe it... what would it be like if I behaved like someone who has a lot of confidence? Could I just model those behaviors for myself?
Fears: 1. I fear being a failure or a disappointment. 2. I fear that I am not loved. 3. I fear losing financial assets due to bad decisions. Plans: 1. Work on recognizing I am not perfect and that failure is a part of life. 2. Like myself more and recognize my value to others. 3. Gains and losses are what happen. Don't overscongratulate the gains and don't overemphasize the losses.
I wouldn’t say I fear it, but I do worry I may not ever be able to travel like I thought I would at this stage of life. I’m doing what I need to do towards working on what is currently making travel not possible.
I fear that I will never make enough money to more than get (or struggle to get) by. I know it’s partly due to my inability to budget and it often makes me quite panicky. I respond by doing too much of the wrong activity to avoid it. I think the only way to address it properly is to talk it through with someone (eg a counsellor). I truly believe that it is a phobia that I have.
I have a fear of living in the shadow of my mother, and not only not living up to my potential, but not being judged against the accomplishments of my parents, and being seen as not living up to expectations
I am actually feeling more fearless than I typically have been, but I guess I'm fearing the unknowns about my future. Acceptance to vet school will be a challenge, but more than that, beginning vet school will be tough. It will be even tougher if I end up moving further away, as I will need to deal with the harder parts of living alone and developing a routine for me and my dog.
My fear of rejection is fairly constant. I don't put myself out there because of that fear. I also have intense fears of others judging me and that stops me from doing things I want to do. I am working on this. I've gotten so much better since losing weight but I still have a ways to go with it. Just going and being out definitely helps and I also think attending Therapy will help as well.
I continue to have social anxiety and fear that people don't like me. I think I should work on meeting a few new people, and bolstering the tight friendships that I do have. I have not been good at keeping in touch this past year. I think generating more good things, instead of worrying about potentially bad ones, is the best way of combatting that. I am also afraid of losing my job. I will have to try to be good at it, and also think of exit strategies and next steps if it really sucks.
The fear of being out in the world with my work in a bigger way. To own, share and promote whatever it is I am being called to teach, to share. It has limited me by keeping me small and limiting who I connect with and who I serve. Now, I am moving in a different spiritual direction this new year. Not teaching or using the Akashic Record how i have in the past. I don't know what that will look like as it all just happened less than a week a go. I plan on overcoming it by connecting to Hashem daily. And creating practices that support me. Allowing myself to dream about and create a vision of what I truly want.
I think I’ve been to focused on rapidly moving and moving up in my career. What do I have to do to set it in motion? Am I behind? I don’t want to stop totally, but I think I need to focus more on the now. It’s been adding to my stress levels and is probably counterproductive at a certain point.
I’m scared to let go of my past, of varsity, of my accident, of my eating disorder recovery, and to move forward fully with my life. I’m happy with the life I have and the opportunities presented to me. I’m enjoying my life, my sports, my academics, and my friends, yet I keep dragging a weight behind me. I don’t know if I can share the cause of the accident, maybe that will help me move past it. I have so much judgement over myself and it’s something that everyone has done at some point. My bad choice had such a monumental impact though and I can’t forgive myself yet. Part of me feels like I have to graduate and truly move past the PTSD and be living a full life to accept that what happened, happened. It was the way life was suppose to go and I’ve moved forward with my life and am having success, not just getting by on the new path I’ve been forced down. In terms of plans on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year, I’m not really committed to doing that. I’m open to exploring the issue, but at this point I still have a wall put up and I think this year will be spent trying to build a window in that wall. As long as I’m still moving forward with my goals, I’m okay taking my time to break through this fear.
I’m afraid of the things I’ve realized that I am. I know they’re beautiful, and worthy, but I haven’t been able to love them like I know I need to. I’m messy. I need. I love in ways that don’t feel normal. I feel such pain. My brain is unruly and out of control. By this time next year, I hope to see those more as features than as bugs.
All of my life I've been limited by a fear of what others think of me. It has made my adolescent and adult life hell. Here I sit at sixty-six and don't want to give a shit anymore about the opinions of others. That doesn't mean that I want to be an obnoxious asshat. Rather, I just want to enjoy life. Honestly, I don't know, but I've been working on it for the past year. One thing I've noticed-people talk about other people all of the time. This happens among my peer group and colleagues at my former job. The first time I heard someone who is generally quite popular being rundown I was shocked. One way of dealing with this is to not engage in gossip or criticize those not present. I didn't engage in this at work or among my clique. Gotta step outside the mainstream sometime and live. Let it be now.
I feel like maybe the time is coming that I need to do more work on my arachnophobia. Not necessarily because it's holding me back or limiting me in any explicit way; I suppose I just have an awareness of this significant limiting factor that is just THERE. I think, too, having done lots of work on my anxiety (another eternally ongoing project, really) that I'm more aware of that as a 'stuck' place. I'm also getting closer to a point (I'm not there yet though!) that I feel like maybe I can manage an incident and that that is more appealing than being brought to my knees by something out of my control. We'll see.
I should probably think about this more so I can steer the ship in a direction that avoids whatever it is I’m afraid of.
I'm not sure i know what fear is. I know what a spider looks like, and what i feel when i see one. I know what a gun looks like, and what i feel when one is near me. But more and more i'm less afraid. I don't really have anything to look forward to, or anything to hold on to. If i get mutilated, well, i'm already in mild pain most of the time. At least i'd have an excuse to be a waste-of-charity with no future. If i get more than mutilated, and die, well, what's better than a deep, dark sleep? I guess the only thing i'm afraid of is the idea of spending the rest of my life doing just... this. Fighting for a planet that will just be burned up, fighting for the rights of some friends that other friends will never acknowledge the humanity of, and living alone, lonesome, and hurting, in a sidereal system of friends that constantly want me to get better, but don't want me to change. The scariest thing is knowing that things are probably just going to stay the same. And i'm going to spend the next year, next decade, wishing and waiting for my death.
My greatest fear right now is that the pain will return in my femur and take over my life/ambition once again. Although I had a surgical intervention to reinforce the bone, there is no cure for fibrous dysplasia and I could potentially have another flare up. I'm also scared of not finding motivation or ambition. I've been so depleted that all I want to do is focus on my body's recovery. I hope through that focus I'll find a desire to work again, but I fear I will not rediscover an authentic ambition to pursue my career.
I'm afraid of being alone. I don't know.
My fear of initiating contact with others has limited my developing social relationships. I plan on trying to reach out to people at events, classes, etc. I attend. Hopefully I will meet one or more people that I can develop more than an acquaintance relationship with.
People misunderstanding/not accepting be being my authentic self. Because of this I've censored myself, avoided standing up for things I believe and had trouble fully letting people in. Hopefully therapy and working on being more mindful help me become more in touch with myself, my feelings, and my values. I'd also like to less concerned with people's opinions about me but also less cynical. Unfortunately the latter may be harder to achieve considering the fact that people are exceptionally skilled at being utter trash.
One of the fears at the heart of my life is that I am fundamentally not good, or not good enough. I’m working on thinking about self-compassion, because this fear and the associated inner critic that goes along with it not only hold me back but also create behaviors that negatively impact my relationship with others. So I’m going to keep working on it. Maybe therapy is a thing I will do this year. 😶
Fear of failure, always, and generally not having what it takes. This feels like it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, stopping me before I start and thinking small. One way I can overcome it is thinking bigger. And finding motivation in the process, the doing, not in the outcome.
Don't be afraid of being rejected and don't like the "years of experience" limit you from applying for a job. Take on volunteer opportunities so that I can build my resume and continue to grow.
I have fears. They are as old as I am. Fear not to be loved. Fear to be alone. Fear to hurt emotionally and physically. Lately I also developed social fears, social anxiety. Maybe I had it all along, and I just recently realized what it was, gave it a name. Once it has a name it is easier to separate from it. And just look at it and say, I don't need you anymore, let go, just like sand through the fingers.
I've feared for most of my life that I couldn't have the good stuff that others have (happy friends, happy daily life, physical beauty, success at work) because there was some blockage, because I couldn't figure out how to overcome my fears of failure. This has created self-fulfilling prophecies of not having what I want, not achieving what I truly want (or even really being in touch with my desires). My plan this year is to make what's truly important/interesting to me a priority rather than being primarily reactive to others' needs and losing my goals along the way--and trusting this path as a good one. Faith.
I fear that people won't like my ideas and I will feel rejected when they move on to the next idea. I'm going to think carefully about my suggestion, try to articulate clearly, and focus on the feeling of release with sharing my idea even if it isn't accepted. I would rather share the idea and it be rejected than keep it to myself. Also, the idea is not = me; my idea being rejected is not equal to me being rejected.
I fear never feeling open to love again. I fear thinking I'm not pretty enough (even though I hate the whole idea of it). I fear missing my 22-year-old body, my confidence, my sex appeal. I fear not reconnecting with my current body. I plan on continuing to work on myself, and through that, on this.
This question invokes fear. The little voice in my head says, "Go check Facebook." But...I am afraid of failing a job interview. Failure, in general, sends a tingle up my spine that spells the "end" of my life. But...perhaps to quell this fear, I will have to attempt things that have a guarantee of failure. 100 Job Applications over 100 Days? Ask for a 10% discount at every restaurant and coffee shop I visit in a month? The possibilities are almost endless.
I am afraid of being alone. Right now I am allowing that fear to push me to be too busy. I want to let go of that and learn to enjoy my own company again. I will always be a social person, but I’d like to be happy without always requiring social stimulation.
The fear of being rejected, and the fear of doing the wrong thing have always haunted me and only now I’m starting to see its full reach in my life. I want to learn to trust myself and to trust fate
I’m afraid to leave. I don’t know how to get over it
I seem to be perpetually afraid of disappointing people, which is, in itself, disappointing. It means that I don't always stick to my values / beliefs, and I end up being kinda passive and doing / going along with things that I know are wrong. I reeeeally want to live that quote about realizing no one cared in the first place....and regardless of that, I want to do things that I know are Right, not do things I know are Wrong, and do things not because of anyone else, ever.
OH MAN. Where to begin? The first thing that comes to mind is my fear of biking in the city, but I already get over that regularly when I get on my bike. I think my biggest fear is obviously failing, and failing in some abstract way that actually makes it always feel like I'm failing, because success is so poorly defined. So I would like to first start by remembering that my life is mine to live, not my parents', not my therapist's, not my enemies' from college, or my most beloved friends'. It's mine, and I get to define what success looks like, and what my goals are. I hope that these are at least steps, to reclaiming some sense of control over what I do for a living and who I spend time with and what I spend time doing. I would like to be a little more at peace with myself, which I can do if I stop trying to please other people.
A fear that I have is moving in with Brie. I'm scared that our lives will become routine and stale. She has expressed this also. I want to push past these fears and begin to live our lives together, eyes wide open. I never want to go through another break up. I know that I would survive a break up, but it's hard to imagine that I would find the same chemistry as I have with Brie again.
Total fear. Fear of failure, of not being accepted, of missing out, of losing myself to another. It's caused me to end relationships I miss. It's caused me to stay too long in others. I'm in therapy and actually addressing how to get medicated.
Intimacy Abandonment Alanon consistently. Prayer. Take more risks while taking care of myself...showing up for myself
Well this year my fear has been Fatima and getting fired. And it limited me by making me so anxious at work i couldn't perform. And then i got fired anyway and i realized how much better and lighter I feel, stresses about money notwithstanding. So hopefully i'll learn that the worst is usually not that bad. SO hopefully this year I'll think less about all that can go wrong and I'll work to make things right- espeically myself and my health and I'll stop being a victim!
Oh I have a lot of fears, unfortunately. One of the more recently surfacing fears is the fear of death (both mine and loved ones', especially my parents since they're getting older) that I am getting increasingly paranoid about. I fear my own death because there's a lot of things that I want to accomplish/try my hand at before I die, and I feel like I haven't gotten to do many of them yet. I have lists upon lists of art project ideas, things I want to try, places I want to visit, people I want to spend more time with. I want to spend more time with my parents, and it breaks my heart that they live so far away. But I do talk to them almost every day, and Talia and I are going up there in a few weeks, and with the new property we'll all be helping to make it a great place to live, and hopefully Talia and I can go visit more. It's hard to "let go", but my therapist is helping with that, and I have to think about how my parents don't want me to put my life on hold just to hang out with them more (I'll help take care of them when they need it, but they're fine for now *knocks on wood*). I just need to live my life the best that I can, which right now means continuing to talk to my parents frequently (I need to start sending my mom letters too, like she used to do with me when I was having a hard time), and for me - just make stuff, get over your art fear by making art! You don't have to show it to anyone if you don't want, and some of it will be "bad" because you're trying new things, but artists don't make good art on the first try! You have to try, and thus fail, many times.
I am afraid of my anxiety - the slightest bit of nausea can set off a spiral, and it is limiting. My friends are kind and supportive and I am unaffected in a drastic way, but I would like to be able to feel nauseous and not panic, or feel stress without physical symptoms. I think I’ll have to explore some coping techniques and learn to trust myself and my body.
I fear not living up to my own potential as an intellectual and a creative person. I fear feeling like a dilettante. I plan to overcome it in the upcoming year by scheduling time for creativity and forcing myself to write and to finish what I start.
The only fear I have is that is something I ask myself every night before bed- have I done enough today to improve my kids. Have I taught them a lesson in life? Have I given them more knowledge? Did they play enough? Make new friends? The are only 3 years old and 21 month and I fear I am not doing enough.
I have a fear that I cannot make money on my own, that I cannot live as an adult, that I cannot stand on my own feet and succeed enough to survive without financial help from someone else. I have no idea how I'm going to overcome this fear. I just have to prove it isn't true. I plan to learn to drive. If I can drive, I can do anything. If I can conquer that fear, I can get over the rest.
I did a basic will, so now I don't have to fear that. I fear not having a good relationship in my last years of my life. I fear my physical limitations as I age. I fear not accomplishing a few things like writing a book before I die.
I have moments of social anxiety. I take on a lot of work that is outside my current skillet or comfort zone. This takes a lot of energy and makes me want to stay home and get back in my comfort zone after being outside of it for such a long period. I don't want to overcome it, but find ways to be more accepting of it. Also, trying to take it more into account in my freelance work so I have more space to pay attention to social gatherings.
I think I probably have a bit of perfectionism ... maybe manifests itself slightly unusually — I can procrastinate or over-plan, sometimes because I’m probably worried about something turning out sub-standard. I think this limits what I can try, or how quickly I can improve or accomplish things — because the fastest and best to learn and accomplish things is iteration. So I think insisting for myself that it’s alright that the first attempt isn’t perfect ... could really help me just set off, and get closer to what I want to accomplish faster.
I fear that I am never accessing my truly best and most fulfilled self, though I would also say this is more of a want/need than a fear - to continually discover that and enrich it and alter it and make it me.