How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
I am wondering if I can really pull off the sabbatical concept. It would be glorious but it feels scary and perhaps lonely.
For most of my life, I’ve imagined that I’d have a family in my thirties. This fantasy emerged as a kid due to the age I saw my parents (and their friends) start families in the 1980’s. Its also a heteronormative standard based on a woman’s biological clock. A standard that I am not subscribed to as a cis queer man. However, I’m turning 36 in a month or so and am not close to starting a family. The rest of my community (mostly straight female friends) have toddlers running around their homes. One thing I’d like to work on this year is to let go of feeling 'behind' in respect to my age and starting a family. I logically understand that there is no such thing as being “behind” because everyone’s story is their own unique life on its own unique timeline. However, I want to embody this knowledge into a feeling. Part of the work might be coming to terms with that the majority of my early thirties were spent dealing with serious health crises. The feeling that I lost half my thirties to Alvin & Fiona. Maybe I need to grieve the years I lost to Alvin & Fiona by finding the gratitude for how they’ve pushed me forward in my life and made me the man I am today. I also think this feeling is tied to my fear of starting a family on my own. This is a fear that has come up multiple times in my 10Q answers over the few years. I would like to spend time this year imagining raising a family alone to try and dispel any fears that I won’t succeed. Another way to address this fear is to imagine waiting for many years (10+ years) to start a family. If I can come to accept that this option would also fulfill me, if I can identify its benefits, I might succeed in dispelling the fear.
This will be a year of recovery, and past me keeps reminding me to take it slow, keep it steady, and eyes and heart locked on gratitude. I still wake up every day to a moment when my right foot hits the ground to carry me into the bathroom, and with that step, I get to be reminded that I am able to walk there on my own two feet. And every morning, that's a hell of a great way to start the day. I just need to remember that as I recover once more.
Beginning Brené Brown Gifts of Imperfection. Want wholeness. Authentic Presence. Integrity.. Confidence conviction Instead if chasing moments, I will bathe in them. I want to be as Brené describes Wholeness. Charactered. Present. Vulnerable love and loving and loved. I want to live intentionally, caring for myself optimally, present with my family, thriving, regenerating myself and others. After working through Gifts of Imperfection, I will work through Brent's other books. If I feel it is possible, I will facilitate a study group. This is a self serving idea because as much as I am excited to share, I know I will receive much
Be open to, and even expect, unexpected blessings--such an attitude would have cushioned my worst moments at Princeton (Vogl's class) with the knowledge that an unprecedentedly profound source of community (my students, and teaching) was just around the corner. The night really is darkest before the dawn. Restful quiet follows a storm.
It has been helpful to get concrete feedback about things I’m succeeding at (wow!). Like to take days off. That I was able to change my attachment stuff. It feels good to know I CAN change. I wasn’t always sure of that.
Fatherhood and parenthood will invariably bring self-doubt, pressure to appear composed, and possibly struggles with mental health. I hope to draw inspiration and strength from the courage and wisdom of renowned tennis player Naomi Osaka: "I have learned it's okay to not be sure about yourself. I feel like I've always forced myself to be strong or whatever. I think if you're not feeling okay, it's okay to not feel okay."
PROTECT YOUR PEACE. Pain is fertile ground for radical change. Love yourself and don’t make it anyone else’s job. Get your needs met, and don’t expect others to do it for you. NOBODY values your time like you do. Set boundaries to protect it.
Rabbi Zivic always says or has said, don't sweat the small stuff, its all small stuff. I know that's not his original quote, I think its the way he said it that stuck with me. He also said, if you don't do anything else, light the candles on Friday night. Kinda reminds me of a guided meditation class series I took once where the instructor said if you forget everything else, always come back to the breath. So while no one came up with these for the first time this past year, they do stick with me. I think though, my husband said the most meaningful thing to me, he said I do so much and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. He said he always sees me doing something and I am not just wasting time. This was amazingly shocking to me because I have the opposite perception of myself. I always feel like I could and should do more and that I waste more time than it takes. He's even busier and more efficient that he says I am, so that a huge uplifting thing to hear from him. I think if I am always improving and moving forward than that is good. I plan to do that while keeping these little pieces of advice in my head.
I cried doing an exercise in which I met my 50 year old future self. I would like to improve myself by keeping in my vision the women that I became - a loving, loyal, intelligent, mother, friend, daughter, sister. I think it would be an improvement for me to revisit that exercise periodically and seek the guidance of my future self to grow into her. She seemed like someone I'd like to become. :)
Mistakes are totally okay, normal, valid, and to be expected! Mistakes = learning = growing = life. Shame and other/all feelings are also normal and valid and to be expected! Riding the wave is part of life. No need to be ashamed, but even the shame is okay too.
I would like to lose weight from 200 to 185lbs. I would like to be kinder and gentler with people in general and with myself. I would like to learn how to forgive better than I do now. I would like to do loving kindness meditations more regularly. I would like to be more fit. I would like to get better sleep by going to bed at 9:00 I would like to play less (or no) poker on my phone. It is a stupid way to waste my time I would like to have a more loving relationship with Amy but I can’t figure out how. Advice: Tory told me to “Let it roll off” when I explain some of the things Amy does. Bill Bixler told me to meditate on needing people, especially Amy. This was a couple of years ago but it was great advice.
Oh I would like further discernment on the goal of becoming an energy worker, a light worker and a budding shaman. I would like to enter into some apprenticeship with someone to make this happen. There is a piece of advice I received just a few weeks ago from Justin about respecting the journey. Allowing full and complete integration before journeying again. I intend on following this during the course of the next year.
I would like to maintain an overall sense of calm and well-being, more so than I currently am able to. To be more present in the moment, more consistently. I think this goes along with stabilizing and maintaining a low blood pressure, which I have also been unable to do. Perhaps it will come from implementing a simple meditation practice, as I have repeatedly read and heard it is the most helpful- to create the basal state of what I describe. I would also like to read more consistently and practice personal writing with increased frequency.
To improve myself in the coming year, I would like to learn more about myself and put my learnings to work to be more organized and achievement-focused. I am sure I have learned a lot in the past year that could guide me, about ADHD or parenting or our marriage or letting go and being in the moment and self-care or stuff like that. I can't thin of anything specific right now.
I've touched on this already - but I need to invest more in me and less in others (not in a selfish way) - life is short, life is short, life is short. That's the only one that resonates.
I would like to continue uncovering myself in therapy over the extra year. I would like to try to figure out what happened to steer things off course for me this year and how can I get back to a person I love
Let's first find a way in balancing two children. Self-improvement isn't really something I can bother with right now.
I feel like I am already in a great state of development and growth, and whatever comes from that will be positive. If anything, I think being more present is always helpful, and I personally need to do less sometimes and embrace the mundanity of everyday life.
Keep on working on my fitness, my activity, my health. More kayaking, more hikes, more new things. Sail next summer. Regular, rotating activities. Focus on some specific improvement - see how that goes. Maybe volleyball in the winter? No advice, just be unafraid, take it day by day, no shame, just try it all once again. Begin anew.
1) drive on the freeway, like I meant to do at the beginning of this year 2) be less distracted. not advice, but i figured out more screens sometimes make me more distracted, but mostly "out of sight, out of mind" for me so i should put things out of sightline (e.g. phone face down, distracting windows out of the way), and it seems coffee/tea seems to help. Maybe I can continue these habits more consistently. I don't remember any good advice this year :( But one I do remember from the past was from Leila's fridge: "Things will always be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
I would like to become a bit more independent again. I have needed to rely on my family quite heavily this year and I want to tip the scales back the opposite way
The glacially creeping movements of the last 18 months means the goals remain unchanged, and progress has been lost within same-looking expanses of tundra. I know I'm moving, somehow, in what I hope is the right direction, but I'm struggling to focus on the horizon that never really appears to get closer. My advice is not losing sight of that; you will only marvel in a few years, if you just don't give up. I reiterate here my previous answer: "...to find my own identity and place in the world, to make the change. To keep pushing on. To love myself and accept things before anyone else can. To not defend those who are not worthy, or to protect my own reputation in association. To fight back. To forget and not waste the energy continuing to draw out a long process of moving on, to appreciate those who stand by me and really enjoy my here and now."
Trust the process. Be present. Be a human BEING (not doing). I'd like to have better structure and strategy skills next year. And to do fewer things more proficiently, quality over quantity.
As I look forward, I really want to shift my focus more onto myself. I have spent so much time helping others financially, emotionally, mentally and continuing to place myself in 2nd place. But I am no good to others if I let myself go. And I am not showing myself the loving kindness that I deserve. This has been a life long battle for me - to just love myself intentionally and fully. And I mean this in all its depth. I need to love my mental health - by seeing a therapist. I need to love my spiritual health - by returning to yoga and meditating. I need to love my physical health - by improving my relationship to food and intentionally exercising. I need to love my emotional health - by being vulnerable.
Practice detachment. Results, either success or failure do not determine who you are or your impact in the world.
Health and loving what is. Live more in the moment. Turn passive learning to active learning.
Progress is more important than perfection. I have heard this in so many areas of my life! Yet I have so much trouble understanding and accepting it. Even when I clean, I give in to my "all or nothing" m.o. A couple of times, I have not done the best I could do. It's always so hard, but it feels like I'm learning to accept it. To accept imperfection in myself. I KNOW I'm not perfect! But have always felt that I at least have to try, or I will be judged/ridiculed/dismissed by society. Not sure where that comes from, but I do understand that it is unhealthy and unhelpful. So I'm working on it.
I would like to get back on track towards improving my physical and mental health.
Improvement means I am lacking something right now. Something, which I have always thought as a person. As I get older, I am trying to understand the Order of the Universe, Why I am here, How do I fit in, and How do I fulfil my destiny. I have evolved in this journey, but am not there yet. This year, I would like to continue to advance in this understanding and , as I said last year, make it part of my life. So my actions living are not in conflict with my evolved thinking. I would be at more peace then. That would be an improvement I like to see happen.
I will be guided by many great Jewish voices who have illuminated shmita for me, primarily via Judaism Unbound. The cycle of my personal life aligns with this year of rest and release. I want to fully embrace Shmita and discover how best to connect with earth and community now and in the future.
Honestly the most important thing to me is to get strong again physically and attend to myself as an artist.
Don't be a dick. Your wife is not an employee. Don't micromanage her. Allow her to do things her way. You are not an expert on everything; you just have opinions on everything.
My therapist has been using parts work with me and in some ways it's been very helpful. It's not embarrassing to get connected with inner child selves and give them (and yourself) the love, safety, and acceptance they need.
I would like to find the best way to keep myself on task and focused while keeping to my time blocks: ie: taking time for my personal tasks.
I want to stop worrying about money. It is getting in the way of enjoying everything I have and I have so much good in my life, it brings me to tears. And looking back on last year's answer: I took my advice and I am having more fun. A LOT more fun and so much laughter. WOW. So thankful. One comment from this last year that I want to hold close: "The rich you is SO HOT!" Zvi
The next year, I would really like to focus on my physical body & getting it into better shape. Now that my RA is under control with meds, I feel like the logical next step would be this. It's not so much about HOW much I weigh, it's about how HEALTHY I feel. I know that during the past year of the pandemic, I've gained back the weight I had lost previous & it just adds on that much more weight to my poor joints. I'd like to be able to really hike & not get so winded. I want to make myself stronger & more flexible.
I would like to find my voice, to pick up the injustices and bring them to light. Be kind, not nice.
I want to focus on hope and joy. Our family went through so much pain and all our dysfunction is coming out. “For this new year, the only thing I aim to do is to approach life playfully. To laugh and enjoy, to keep my standards high but my level of self-acceptance higher. My New Year’s resolution is to leave room for magic. To make my plans, and be okay if they sometimes break. To set my goals, but to be open to change." Meghan Markle's resolution needs to be my mantra this year.
Continue to give fewer shits. Especially about what others think. Stop judging yourself so harshly, listen to your inner voice. I made such strides in all of this over the past year, keep pushing. Keep growing.
I want to build up my resilience to the bad stuff that happens 'out there' in the world - I want to keep learning how to acknowledge the suffering but not let it destroy me. I've made some progress in therapy, and I want to continue. My therapist reminds me that absorbing others' pain doesn't help them or me.
Put one foot in front of the other, as you make goals big and small. Work towards those goals but do not lose sight of yourself and your values.
Stay connected to the people who matter to you. Make time for your parents, your friends, your family, your kids. Make sure that the people you love, know that you love them.
I enjoy Quotes. Here are some of the ones I try to live by… “To be youthful, you must be useful” “I can be many places, I choose to be here” “The world equally distributes Talent, but does equally distribute Opportunity”-usnh. And read Outliers by M Gladwell.
I'd like to become better at follow-through in all aspects of my life. I'd like to improve upon my motivation to develop action plans that work towards achieving my goals. "Don't think too much, act more"
Same as last year. Exercise and de clutter. My daughter opened my eyes in a way that my husband couldn't to the need to seek help in dealing with emotional issues.
I would like to concentrate in the next year on creating separation between work and non-work. With 100% wfh it's hard to have a separation and ultimately it feels like I can't get anything done the way I want it in either realm.
Take more risks. Do things that scare me (like taking on more asylum cases) and stretch me. And, yeah, pick up that guitar a few minutes a day.
Over the next year I want to focus on resting: true rest that allows my body and spirit to recover, not just downtime that I feel guilty about for not being more productive during (our whole society could improve on this). I'm taking my counsel from the millennia of Jewish practice which stipulates that every seventh year is a sabbath/shmita year. That concept of a sabbath year for everyone--all the land, all the people--really resonates after these awful 18 months of living in and coping with the pandemic. Especially because in the pandemic, Shabbat has been such an important way for me to mark time and make sure that I rest and take care of myself every week! Nothing else can happen if resting and caring for myself doesn't come first.
I hope I have become more "ME" that the journey I have started and the experiences I have had - especially since my brother's death to Covid have taught me to be more consequent with my own life. I want to be able to look in the mirror and feel accountable for my health, whatever I might be doing for work and where I am living.
Yes. We are humans. Therefore not perfect. Never will be. Not supposed to be. "Martin, stop beating yourself up!" Sam B. & Mark C.
I would like to eat healthier and lose weight - as I've said many times before, but the goal of the wedding will hopefully help. I would also like to continue paying off my debt and hopefully will ALMOST be there by this time next year.
I think the most impactful advice I received it from Marta. That it's okay for us to start again when we failed to fulfill our expectations. Failing to meet our expectations doesn't mean that we are a complete failure. And that it's actually normal. And bouncing back from it to return to your track is actually what matters most. It's not about being perfect. It's progress over perfection. She helped me to focus on my will to grow and the action I take rather than the result. Which helped me to be not too hard on myself, to be aware of how I feel/think when I experience failure/resistance. So when I face them, I consciously try to understand it, empathize with myself and work on it instead of avoiding it and sweep it all under the rug. Or even worse, despising myself for feeling/thinking that way.
I am ashamed to write that I feel exactly as I did last year. I need to quit drinking like this. It’s expensive and it’s visibly taking a toll on my body in addition to my relationships and work. I think the lack of advice or counsel is why I haven’t changed. I need to do it
I achieved last year's goal of upgrading the quality of the things in my life. Feeling pretty happy about that. This year, I want to improve my financial standing as far as investing and saving for retirement. I keep reading all kinds of stuff everywhere, but no action taken. A big improvement would be to take that first step!
Be sometimes less judgmental and sometimes dig in my heels less. But also create space for myself. And also, figure out how to calibrate to whatever the new normal looks like.
I'm still working on the advice from last year. I didn't slow down because of my belief that my only value is being to save the world, and I crashed emotionally and physically as a result. That was during the first of the year and I'm still struggling eight months later. The good news is I've gained a tremendous amount of conscious awareness and healing around my trauma issues. Two questions I ask myself now guide me. 1. Is this the healthy thing to do? and 2. Does this make me happy? A "no" answer to either one means I won't do whatever it is. This is a direct result of the epiphany I had at 2:00 a.m. a couple of weeks ago. It suddenly hit me that I'm lovable. This was an emotional rather than an intellectual awareness which means it resulted in me completely changing my self-hatred. After that I became able to put my needs and desires first and to speak up for myself when those needs and desires were being trampled. I've become more calm, steady and confident. My therapist and friends are impressed and I'm looking forward to challenges instead of fearing them. The turning point for that was the moment when I looked back at the day I ran away from acting class. When Judy said, "You don't have enough colors in your palette," I felt so ashamed. I saw this as an outing of myself as an imposter trying to behave as if I was normal but failing at it and getting caught. When I suddenly felt lovable, I looked at the memory of that moment with Judy and realized that the person I am now would feel scared and embarrassed but I'd say to her, "Okay, not enough colors but can you help me gain more?" I would have stayed in class and perhaps learned to be a good actor, which was one of my dreams. This resolution was tested ten days ago when I couldn't stop talking during a meeting I was facilitating. I got called on it and felt deeply ashamed. My impulse was to first freeze when my behavior was made public then run away. Instead, I made myself listen to the loving critiques without getting defensive and breathed through the rest of the conversation. I was able to process what happened and realized that I had dissociated for the first time in over 15 years and had done so in front of others. I'm now working with my spiritual guides and my therapist to understand what triggered me and why. I plan to heal the cause of the dissociation.
"What you don't change you choose". I want to be more proactive in changing the things I am unhappy about so that I don't feel like decisions are being made for me.
I feel like a lot of these questions are similar or related. I think it’s still true that I don’t need to stay when it’s time to go. I want to be ready when the door opens and not be stuck waiting around, asking if it’s now or if I should wait a little longer. As always, I’m want to be healthier, happier, wealthier.
I would like to be working on the farm full-time, at least during spring and summer.
I’ve been trying to be mindful of my feelings and emotions and I’ve been trying in different situations to have a really neutral, curious, nonjudgmental attitude about life. I’ve been able to achieve this a few times, such as when the old man honked at me at Starbucks but I didn’t get angry. And in these situations, I laugh. I think, “Oh what an interesting moment” (not necessarily so consciously) and it makes me laugh with a really freeing kind of joy and wonder. I want to keep working on this and see how much of my life I am able to apply this mindset to. It’s a really wonderful feeling that I haven’t fully thought through until writing this.
I constantly try to learn, grow, reflect and improve and there is so much to still do. I want to set myself and my family up for the future. That means a will, ethical wills, trusts and the like. It may not be so much fun but it is critical.
I'd like to create more chances to meet romantic partners. Some past advice that can help would be to focus on more than just the physical, and to deliberately step outside my comfort zone. As I strive to be the kind of person I'd like to meet, I also need to be realistic on what prospective matches actually have potential, and then take chances to make things happen when I find them.
I'd like to learn more technology for my non-profit and unpaid job. The advice I have taken to heart is to not dwell on mistakes made in the past if teshuvah has been done.
Listen more. Sit with your pain and let it evolve, don't ignore it, don't push it away. It'll always find a day to rear it's ugly head. Ask questions. Stay curious. Value your contribution and others will more so. Same as last year really, just different circumstances.
Very simply to push through my fear of approaching people, known and unknown.
SHMITA! My word for the year. I intend to let go of my old notions of how I ought to express myself in the world and embrace what I have created and all the joy I have in my life. To live in my NOW. My perfect life as it is in this moment. To rest my field of energy in my being. Give myself spaciousness to rest, meditate, write, contemplate, exercise and work only part time.
I would like to be softer. The advice I received a couple of days ago is that people try to be hard to avoid being hurt, but the truth is that hard things break, and soft things don't. Soft for now means more meditative time, more gentle responses, more live-n-let-live reactions.
Small changes every day lead to big improvement.
I'd like to craft regularly, as a spiritual and metal health practice.
I want to gain a better control over my temper, and my sensitivities to particular issues. Generally: to be more collected. It’s not too much of myself to ask. I haven’t been seeking outside advice on this topic over the past year, but I know what I need to do . It’s just a matter of executing.
I would like to waste less money. I would like to be in better physical shape. I would like to have sex. I would like to have a romantic partner. I wish I could get over my resentment of feeling alone, feeling abandoned and unappreciated by others. Advice: cook at home more.
in past years, i would say my advice is to not make bad decisions and in general just think before you act. think about what will really mattter in the years from now, and what wont. take advantage of it also. I want ot be relant on no one next year, but myself, a d be jacked, calm, and on top of my life like never before
I would like to show myself more love and be more radical in putting myself first in situations. I would like to move towards a kind of self-love where I'm able to put myself in better positions and achieve a lot more.
I have done a lot of research in books about procrastination, and many good ideas have come forth, in particular about setting goals and then periodically measuring my progress towards them. I intend to make this a part of my general means-of-passage through the world. Not just intending but actually managing my progress to assure it keeps up at a steady pace.
Empathise more with others. Particularly those who frustrate me. This is both a goal and good advice that I heard this year.
- Don't be afraid to say no - Confront your fear and TRY to let go of it - Be less self-critical - Be more patient with those around (especially loved ones)
I want to continue to shift from pushing myself relentlessly to experiencing life in a more gracious, relaxed state of being. I took steps this past year that brought me closer to this goal with continued support from friends and colleagues. One said, "you can simply show up and your presence brings enormous gifts" when encouraging me not to work so hard on over-preparation.
In the next year I would like to strengthen my relationship with myself. After my breakup, I found a deep well of inner peace and self empowerment as I learned to accept myself without criticism and judgment. But in the past year, that has started to become muddied with the noise of the world and the rush of juggling work, family, friends and hobbies. And now as I've started to practise solo polyamory, I feel like I'm starting to rely on others and the external to provide me with validation again. I want to create the intention of prioritising my relationship with myself. Of considering and fulfilling my needs first. That would look like: putting my phone away and not responding to messages until I'm ready to, having lots of screen free time, playing the piano, creating for the sake of creating, going to events by myself, filling up my calendar with things I'm looking forward to, saying no, letting go of connections I don't vibe with and not putting myself in draining situations. A primary relationship with myself would feel like: peace and calm, clear and grounded, love, fulfilment, contentedness and trust in my inner strength. This one question has come to mind a few times lately - what happens if I live everyday like I am right now? If I spent everyday like I did this week - checking my phone to see if I got replies from strangers off dating apps, unfocussed, not prioritising my sleep and rest - I would continue to search for a ghost and ultimately feel unfulfilled. But what if I spent it carving out quality intentional time for myself, telling myself what I needed to hear and fulfilling my physical, mental, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs? I think that would be a life well spent.
I’m seeing how these questions overlap and intersect. Tough to pull out just one piece of advice or counsel, since I engage with two sisters, a yoga instructor friend, and a group of women (Sisterhood of Visionaries), on a regular basis, some weekly. I benefit so much from the advice and counsel of each of these women, and from the resources they share and recommend. Like the Dreambook and Planner Michele and I have been working through together. And Brene Brown’s book, “Gifts of Imperfection”, that the Sisterhood is moving through as a group. So all that being true, I would like my life next year to be better aligned with my values, more attuned to the needs of the planet and my fellow beings, more intentional and focused. I look forward to becoming more grounded and hopeful, two qualities that Covid has diminished.
Right now I am dealing with a flare-up of chronic pelvic pain. A lot of it seems to be attributed to anxiety and trauma. I'd like to resolve this and feel better, calmer, and healthier by next year.
Hmm. Less over-performing, better balancing of time. Rest is a radical act.
Be more honest. Be less aggressive. Keep more secrets.
Continue what I'm doing! My therapist asked me to envision what I'd like my relationship with my oldest child to be like a few years in the future and to live into that now.
Strategy -- I don't know why this is the time where I'm more able to hear the "show your work" kind of advice. Also: what does it mean to show grace to myself? What do I want to care about, to what extent?
So after the soundbath session Cards were pulled/read. I got the arch angel Sandalphon which on the card said Gifts from God, god of course being whatever. But, the idea about it was to be open to recieve these gifts. I want to be open to see them to receive them. And maybe the gifts I will receive will ultimately be the gift of myself. To get back to being happy and positive, and not weighed down, get rid of the cloud. In the physical, I'd like to loose weight, live a healthier life both physically and mentally.
I would like to prioritize new experiences, and seeking out experiences that bring me joy. I want to learn new skills. I want to be willing to spend money on things that make my life more enjoyable (whether that be trips, adventures, or items). I'd like to start building deeper connections and friendships with others.
I would really like to lose the weight about which I've been complaining. If I can do that, I know I'll feel so much better and have so much more energy.
I just want to give myself some hope for the future, whether that be actually trying to look for love or setting up a home I can finally be at home in or preparing myself for a change in career/life direction.
Personal growth is very important to me, and I always strive to be better than I was yesterday. Professionally, this should be the year when I start to see some results after grinding it out for so long. On a personal level, I would like to look at my philanthropic side and use some of my time and resources on helping others. I’ve always been the one who has needed help – it’s time to pay it all back.
I need to use my vacation time more judiciously. I also need to figure out how to parse my time better so I do more without feeling lost or behind.
Be a better husband. Grow in my faith. Lose weight and exercise more.
I need to find a better work/life balance. I need time to rest, to exercise, to play, to travel, to entertain, to read, and to enjoy life!
Professionally, the advice my former manager gave me (to lean more toward "asking forgiveness and take more risks" vs. "asking permission") is something I have practiced more in my role. In addition, I am learning more about Cloud Architecture, which will enable me to be more effective and versatile in my job.
My goal for this year is to focus on fostering more joy, fun, love and ease in my life. I am trying to create more space to care for myself and my well-being through regular exercise, attention to my social life, creative outlets, and time to relax, recharge and do nothing. These are all the items that fall to the bottom of the to do list again and again. I'm trying to change my habit of overextending myself to others and instead do less with more joy. I keep coming back to the phrase "I will be aware of myself as one who creates" from the 7 practices for finding steady ground that I have hanging near my desk. I find it a useful reminder that spending time cultivating positive attributes in our life is what gives us the long-term resilience needed for the times we are living in.
Being more present with my kids when I'm with them. Putting my phone away. They are going to grow up so fast and not want to spend time with me in a few years--now is the time to be present when they want to be with me. But also to be forgiving of myself when I find that I really don't want to do whatever it is that they want to do.
I think a big lesson of the last year is the power of extending a little grace and generosity to the people around us, when we have the bandwidth to do so. Choosing NOT to call someone out on something they did that was wrong or annoying. Choosing NOT to be hurt when someone says something a little insensitive in a moment of stress or anxiety. Letting someone go ahead of you in line, even if they were a little bit pushy. We never know what others are going through, but we do know when we ourselves have the capacity for a little extra compassion and we can fairly easily choose to extend that compassion to the people around us. I'd like to keep that in mind for the next year, particularly in my relationships with my friends and in the romantic sphere.
Get physically fit and use my time more wisely. I know that compromising my mental health and integrity makes me feel worse.
I would like to eliminate some unhealthy habits and create some healthy ones in their place. The advice that may guide me is to try to change only one habit at a time.
I’d like to have a romantic relationship with someone I can count on. Of course, that’s what I’ve wanted for ages, and it sounds so sad to say it. “The hardest thing to know in life is which bridges to burn and which bridges to cross.” I’m not good at that.
I want to give more care to my body. I want to care every part of me, inside and outside.
Commitment. Vulnerability. Humility. Love.
I would love to get back into peak physical condition. Around 200lbs but feeling and looking better
Who knew this would be the year I'd finally accept and love my body as it is? We joked about not needing to wear pants and not being able to button clothes. But I loved not worrying about how my clothes fit me - what they covered, what they revealed. I let my hair just grow and learned that I've got this awesome stripe of white hair framing my face. I did not understand just how much of my mental energy had been filled up with worry and negativity about my size/shape/weight. I did not know how heavy those thoughts were until they faded away to almost nothing. Talk about weight? Negative thoughts have their own mass. My guiding quote this year is from Steve Maraboli: "the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love."
Being responsive to the suffering of others, in the era of front line and first responders, is a beloved art. I want to be more for more people, while building my ability to show up as more for more people. Next year I want to be reflecting on how I much I moved out of systems of harm into systems of reparations and mutual aid. Next year I want to be reflecting on how I walked the hell out of several pairs of shoes. Next year I want to keep answering Charlene A. Carruthers' five questions for everyone invested in collective liberation: 1) Who am I? 2) Who are my people? 3) What do we want? 4) What are we building? and 5) Are we ready to win?
I'd like to keep getting fitter. Discipline gets you going but habit keeps you going!
I kind of feel like my life improvements are coming naturally to me as I age. I wrote a few questions back about not wanting to spend time on people I don't get much from in return. I sort of feel like that in a work context too. I had a bit of a revelation a couple of weeks ago that I don't want to do any empire building in my job. I don't want to take on more responsibility or expand my remit. I just want to do what I do, and do it well. My empire doesn't have to be the biggest in the world, but it could and should be successful and well nurtured. I'd like to get a bit better at my work-life balance. I don't necessarily work out of hours but I think about work constantly, and I don't think that's particularly healthy. Chris listened to the audio book of The Chimp Paradox, and his description of the book has actually really helped how I approach difficult working relationships and how I tackle stress and anxiety. I might actually read or listen to it myself!
It seems that I have given up on doing any type of writing. Journaling for my grandchildren, writing sci-fi, writing about the gorilla Timmy. I would be very happy if I was able to do some writing, even if it was in some small way. The advice I followed to loose weight and do more exercise was to take little steps at a time, to realize that the problems didn't happen overnight and overcoming them won't either. I got this from reading some articles on getting healthier. Perhaps it could work for writing and productivity also. One step I could take is limiting the amount of time I spend on-line and reading emails.
I read recently that the internet has turned us all into dopamine fiends, always after the next hit, the next high. In the coming year, I resolve to be less of a dopamine fiend--to turn off alerts, to be present in the moment, to choose alternatives--meditation, time outside, movement, music--to take up a hobby (sewing? more cross stitch) that occupies my hands.
Express gratitude daily, at the end of each day before falling asleep.
In the next year I want to continue trying to be kinder to and more honest with the people around me. I'm going to try and make every important thing I do for a good reason, and think over that reason before I go into doing the thing.
I'd like to be more mindful in connecting with my family. And to be more proactive in the actions I'm taking in building my career. My mentor told me something recently that struck me, "just because an opportunity comes your way doesn't mean that you have to take it."
Again, the 2020 answer still holds true: “I just want to BE HERE next year. So I’m going to continue working to improve my health and be as tip top as possible. Aside from that, it would be nice if I only had to work one job instead of two. Found my passport a couple of weeks ago. Three years old but still unused. Probably won’t be allowed to use it in the next year but Texas is big... maybe explore some of it? Or finally go see mountains in Colorado or the beaches of the West Coast? Suzanne’s words echo in my head: “we’re at the halfway point... better get going while you still can.” If I was hesitant before COVID, I’m freaking terrified now.” Shows how stagnant my existence really is, huh?
The advice I received was to be myself but better from Mike Bayer. I hope to Continue my spiritual evolution.
Do not procrastinate. Take better care of myself physically. Advise: to take care of others, take better care of oneself.
I want to have faith in myself again & be creative. I want to be less angry at, well, everything.
I’d like to focus on my family, while still leaving time for myself. Last year broke me a little, so I’m intentionally doing less.
This year I want to focus on getting out from under the anxiety, guilt, and fear that I live in. I also want to create a spirit of athleticism and joy of moving my body.
I would like to become a better writer this year through Hornstein. This is a skill that will be extremely useful for me as a thought-leader in the field, and I'm excited to improve in this regard through my academic studies. I really like what Nico shared with me earlier this year about a messy first draft -- getting all my ideas out on paper in a way that's not super polished and then putting together a paper from there. I think that will be helpful for me as I begin writing academic papers throughout the year.
My main target is losing my belly flab. This has enormous significance on how I feel, my self confidence, which decides pretty much everything else. It has been a lifelong affair. It's time to deal with it properly and sustainably.
Do what makes me happy. Have confidence in my abilities and my ideas and dreams. Open that etsy shop, do that ice cream course, go surfing, girl.
I would like to improve the way I offer more of my self to others. Guidance to remember: life lives itseslf through you, through your own particular combination of traits and talents, accident of birth and upbringing, and the choices you continue to make. Be true to your heart and your gut. The times you were true in your body have always been the times you were also true to your whole self.
When my Japanese ornamental cherry tree is (briefly) in blossom next year I want to be able to take in and feel joy from its' beauty.
Master my ADHD :) Not cure it (impossible!) but now that I'm diagnosed, I can start discovering how to treat it, use it and accomodate it without hating myself and forcing things that DO NOT work. From there, I think everything else will improve without me even having to put it on one of my 10 to do lists. <3
We have done a lot of financial planning and investment this past year, which has been amazing for our future. This year, I really want to keep that internal/home focus and just keep educating and enriching Louise's life while also helping support Tyler in our financial planning.
I would love to simply continue being true to myself. That has always been the best advice
I would like to make more female friends next year. It would improve my life immensely to have someone with whom I could text throughout the day, sit in a coffee shop or go thrifting on the weekends. Most of my current friends live far away and it's just not the same.
I want to be my best self. Love myself and love others. Continue seeking wisdom. Advice I received is to live in the moment, and that is where I try to be.
I’d like to be freer, more willing and able to express, to move my body in strength. (Autocorrect said “bake,” that sounds good too!) Advice: listen to your body, get out of your head, follow intuition.
A friend gave me Cicero's book on aging. It was filled with meaningful advice on accepting limitations and seeking comfort in academic pursuits. By nature, I'm one who has enjoyed pushing physical endurance. It's a bitter pill to swallow that I'm now better suited to gardening and other milder pursuits.
- Learning how to embrace the fact that I can disappoint people and they will still love me. - Learning how to speak up for my needs in the moment. - Working to bring my full, transparent self to each of my relationships. - Trying to be more present in exactly where I am. "Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching." - Robert Morris Alfred
Be patient and be more in the moment, stop thinking about what's next or trying to finish what I'm doing right now to move on to the next thing that I have to finish. Live life by being present in whatever it is that I am doing at the moment because that moment will never comeback.
I would like to make sure I have enough time and space for me, for the reflection I need to do to stay in touch with myself. I've been pretty lax about the way I observe Shabbat and I'd like to get better about that. Having a shmita hive will really help, I think. That at least will take me out of myself and into a good Jewish Shabbat-observing space once a month. Even if I don't do my strictest Shabbat practice every week, I should be doing it at least some weeks. That's why we get to try again every week, right? I'd also like to find a way to balance my night owl nature and my need for sleep with having some time at the beginning of the day to center myself; I'm a "sleep until the last possible moment" kind of person but I would like to carve out some daily time for myself before the pressures of the outside world get ahold of me.
Same as last year. Slow down. Say no.
Don't be afraid to make friends in a lot of different places. I used to have a "no work friends" rule, because I liked keeping my spheres separate and orderly. But now I've made some close and not so close but still pleasant friendships with coworkers. Ironically, I am closer to many of them than I was pre-covid. Over the coming year I want to question all of the limits I place on myself, and in doing so broaden the scope and the depth of my relationships and connections.
I am m still working on expressing my needs to my husband so we can have as more fulfilling marriage Communication is the key
Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself.
I want to concentrate on discipline. Not in a youthful, race to a goal discipline, but a life affirmative discipline that allow me to be a blessing to my fellows and a messenger of God's love and might. I want to drop weight, 70 lbs., and lean into functional fitness.
getting our home ready for aging-in-place, a continual challenge. frequently reading articles about sensible purging, and slowly becoming accustomed to fewer possessions.
I want to be healthier. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God. I want to fulfill his purpose for me. I want to rely more on the guidance that He has given me all my life, instead of my own understanding.
As much as I dislike the person who gave me this advice, it really has stuck with me: "Make today the tomorrow you talked about yesterday."
Focus on one task, one experience, one interaction at a time. I would be calmer and enjoy life more if I allow longer blocks of time for people and activities and more time to transition. I get support for this idea from my regular walking buddy. She looks at the week’s calendar before making a new commitment to someone else. She has taught me to that it’s OK to say “I’m not available” when I need personal time.
I need to focus more on self care. I also may have to give up the idea of looking for a full time job & focus on rebooting my consulting & coaching practice.
Keep going to the pool, commit to exercise. Put myself out there for jobs. Trust that everything will work out. Continue to declutter and enjoy my stuff and space. Trust those who believe in me.
I'll say something similar to last year. I'd like to be more "spiritual" in the sense that I have the passion for helping others or want to put in the energy to help make the world a better place again. Right now I am very focused on myself and my relationship and I think I can be a better version of myself by looking more outward.
The Doll House By Phil Ochs Lost in the valley of vaults Fell from the path, it was nobody's fault But I was alone Time dripped from the trees Leapt through the mist, fell to my knees Before the throne And the crown was covered with jewels, Sparkling schools of beautiful thoughts The magnificent battle was fought And the Cinderella Soldier-fish was caught And the Lady from the Lake Helped me to escape And led me to myself at last Though I danced with the dolls in the doll house The fog fled from my feet, Tom Sawyer voice through the hole of the key, Landed so gently The castles covered the cave, I had no choice, the visions were brave And the phantoms were friendly And Pirate Jenny was dancing for pennies, Knucklebones tossed in a spin, There were silver songs on her skin And she wasn't caring when the ship came in /And the Lady from the Lake Helped me to escape And led me to myself at last, at last Though I danced with the dolls in the doll house/ My costume dropped to the floor, Naked at last, couldn't fight it anymore, And the service was rendered A poem fell from the wine, buried the past, The future was mine and the present surrendered And the Ballet Master was beckoning faster, The Ballerina was posed, In the fragile beauty we froze Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go. And the Lady from the Lake Who helped me to escape Left me with myself at last Though I danced with the dolls in the doll house
I want to expand my capacity for grace and kindness, especially in cases where I feel hurt. I want to keep vigilant about what really matters and that for me is grace, kindness can somehow blunt hate.
I plan to have more sex one way or the other. I plan to be in a better place financially which will give me more independence. I would expect that my investments would also help to increase my wealth. I expect to start donating more to my favorite charities and political organizations
Nothing matters. In a good way. Whatever it is, it will pass. I kind of want to learn drum kit. Bruce gave me an electric drum set. Trumpet has.... all but ceased. Who am I kidding? I have ceased to practice trumpet.
I'm working hard on loving myself and moving forward in my journey. "Let your inner self love you and fully love her back."
Looking at last year's answers, I was super preoccupied with fitness. I think it was a way that I was grasping at the straws of being okay - I started antidepressants not long after submitting my answers last year. Physical activity probably seemed like a way to get some control and also to generate good chemicals. But it also feels like a reflection of how I felt about my body and my weight (i.e. not good). With antidepressants, I certainly don't feel as preoccupied with all of that, and it helps that I have a dog to walk now. But it does truly feel so good to do yoga. I'd like to continue to work on this relationship between me and my body, and find ways to move and to be that feel good and integrate well into my life. I don't want it to be fueled by some desire to look a certain way.
Stick up for myself! I'm so done letting work and other people decide what should be happening on my life. I'm not going to sit here and let my daughter watch me get taken advantage of.
I got advice just this morning in a video from a meditation teacher that I want to take with me into the new year. The talk was about being resilient. So, I was raised by my mother who was a second generation Holocaust survivor. This makes me a third generation Holocaust survivor. What that means is that she raised me to value stability and certainty as well as assimilation above all else. This, of course, was drilled into her as the only way to stay safe in a world in which the Holocaust happens. So, for example, when I was young and would say something like, "When I grow up, I want to be an actor," her response would be, "It's too competitive." She wanted me in a non-competitive field, married, with children. She wanted things to stay the same. She did NOT like change. When something did change, she would say, "So this is how it is going to be from now on?" It's not "from now on," it's at this moment. The talk on being resilient taught me that it is vitally important to remain open and present to the moment we are in because otherwise we might get stuck. We need to be aware that absolutely nothing is permanent and our job is to experience now now. I would like to work on that. I need to understand that I can count on myself to get through hard times as I have done it before - repeatedly.
I know I have some work to do with reacting and getting annoyed by others. It seems like such a waste of energy and at the same time really deep (not easy to stop). So this is definitely my first one, what is it inside me that is causing me to be so triggered. I also want to continue to improve my delegating skills- not trying to do everything myself amd trusting others more. This is also so challenging as there are many incidences when I do trust others and it doesn’t get done. I need to look at my side of the street here and see where I can improve. Third, I would like improve my maker skills in at least one significant way. Another big area for reflection is thinking about what it means to me to be a parent. Right now it feels like I am just carrying around a list of to-do items and taking it day by day. It does not feel like it is part of my identity or core self and I am not sure about that.
Quit Rest Focus on what actually matters- matt lauren writing
oh gosh, I'm embarking on this One Spirit thing in the hope that I'll figure out how to improve myself, but just at the moment (end of the first weekend of class) I don't know... People keep telling me that I need a mentor/guide, and it sure would be nice to find one, but at the moment I'm relatively idea-free on this front. Success would look like less discontentment, more radiating calm and love into the world. And maybe losing the pandemic weight, ugh.
I would like to really embrace the study of herbalism. I want to fully commit myself to my physical therapy for the disfunction in my hip and leg. I want to rid myself of that which does not suit me and my goals any longer. I can't think of any singular piece of advice that came in the last year. I have been asked over the years, what is my passion, what do I love, what am I excited about? And I don't often have an answer, not a lasting one. So if I don't really know what my passion is, I need to move toward finding it. I have a lot of detritus in my life, in my body, in my mind and I would like to let it go. I know it is not as easy as opening a door, so I will need to give myself permission to let go, bit by bit and see what blooms in its absence.
One of the best pieces of advice came from prospective employer. I did not get the job, but they told me I did a great job in the interview and should be proud of how personable I am and that they wanted to keep my resume for a future position. They told me not to underestimate myself.
Who cares. That is my advice to myself. That... and find time to run or work out. it helps your brain. The advice I've received? None. People are idiots. And I am on my own.
Let the past go. Love and accept myself. I liked what I said last year: to laugh more and enjoy each day more.
I think the advice from Rha Goddess about how we can both make change and make money is a hopeful guide. I would like to do both. I would also like to be able to let difficult attachments go more easily.
I really really want to spend less time on my phone and more time reading. I like reading. I miss reading. I don't read very often. I'll have a phase of reading a bunch for like a week, but I lose steam and retreat to my phone. I don't even like opening The Apps, and I think that every time I open them, but I open them anyway because I'm bored. Just read instead!
I want to continue to better care for myself. I want to continue to better communicate my boundaries, for my own sake, but largely for others, too -- my worst tendency is to shirk and withdraw, in part because I feel shame for not being able to deliver what I think I owe. Communicating my boundaries is kinder to all involved.
I want to focus on self-care. I did a lot of walking this year. During the warmer months I increased the daily amount I walked. I even, finally, added walks at the end of the day. I’m finding it more challenging as the days get shorter, but I want to keep going. I’ve returned to the Y for weekly water exercise. I would like to improve my eating habits. I’m looking forward to going back to theatre and concerts, as they help fulfill my spiritual needs. I hope that my synagogue will return to in-person services as I don’t really feel the connection to community when we’re all on Zoom.
I'd like to work on a more positive outlook with respect to the future and on finding the good in my circumstances. I don't have a particular piece of advice to help with this, but I think taking advantage of good things and opportunities and looking for such positive moments will help. Focusing on little moments rather than big, catastrophic trends would be good, as would focusing on my own life (which has been pretty good) in addition to the catastrophes in the world as a whole.
I would like to learn more Spanish. Also I want to start volunteering again
I'm paying attention to how I interact with others. Softer, more feminine, less edge. Listening better; being a better friend and family member. Advice? I receive that every day, and am open to more.
I'm in charge of myself. I get to make my own rules and if it doesn't impact them, I don't need to look to others for approval or buy-in.
I'm still working on improving my nutrition and my connection to God. (It seems ridiculous to put those things together in terms of degree of importance universally, but to me they are indeed both important.)
There are a few bits of advice I did receive this year that have meant a lot and had a great deal of impact and continue to do so. Gifts from friends that went way beyond what I am sure they envisioned. Friend once told me “do something, anything…stop thinking about what to do and just do!” So I’m doing. End point is unknown even though the journey has begun. Find joy in the small things. The only way out is through.
stable housing for fuck's sake. finally move past shitty men. i'm growing-- just not there yet.
I would like to attend to my relationships with more care and attention, including the one with myself. I know I can be really intentional in relationship, but I also don't pick up on cues, don't pay as close attention, don't show up, take for granted, and are harder on my friends than I would like. And for me, I also don't pay enough attention to knowing what I really want, then expressing that, setting boundaries, and avoiding the trap of taking responsibility for someone else's feelings and behaviors. Continuing to work on this is life long, and will greatly benefit me.
Look, to be honest I'm still just trying to survive. And I think that's important! We are living through unprecedented times and I'm trying to be the best person I can be given all that's going on. I'm improving by giving myself permission to not be a perfectionist with myself.
I want to keep on my personal journey of physical fitness. To feel good in my body again. Confident in its abilities and in my skin.
I preach it all the time and yet ignore it whenever I can - 'Treat yourself how you treat your best friend'. I ignored that so much with H, and with my mental health, and essentially every facet of my life. I want to be kinder and more patient with myself over the next year.
Keep exercising. Keep reading but also writing. The enemy of done is perfection.
Boo. I don't feel like improving myself. I feel like spending more time being true to myself. Because myself is great and deserves to be out in the world.
I would like to achieve better work-live balance. I know I work less than several of my coworkers but I just do not have any more to give. I want to be a person again, to create.
I would like to be more kind to myself, so that I may be kinder; and become a more natural maker of good.
I want to have more fun. Charlie Sharbaugh told me a month ago that I should wake up and do what will be fun for me. Not to make a list of what would be fun, but just to do it. I thought that was great advice.
Spend my time more wisely! I spend too much time online. I will never get that time back.
Continuing my meditation and spiritual ascent would be nice. America the experiment is over and I would like to move to Scotland.
I would like to live with greater ease in the coming year. I think returning to yoga and swimming would help. The immobility of my body is connected somehow to getting rigid in my thoughts and hard in my heart.
4 words: Write more. Drink less.
Lose weight. That’s a constant. Exercise my upper body. I’d like to do exercise videos 3x/week. I liked the shower/exercise thing: if you miss a shower, you don’t stop showering for a whole week or month. Exercise is the same way - miss a day? Just get it the next day.
Be gentler with myself and others. keep up the good fight, but smile more.
I would like this year of sh'mittah to truly be a year of release, from the debts we/I create for ourselves/myself by prioritizing without stepping back and thinking what truly is more important.
"One day at a time" Not go over and over things - either past events or future scenarios Be a bit more in touch with Central Synagogue in New York
Be clear and intentional. Do what serves your purpose (even if and when that's simply making money doing something that inspires you). Do what's in front of you and don't fret or loop on thoughts about things that can't be done now. If you want to think about all the crap you have to do, limit that time to a short period, like when washing dishes, going on a walk, or sitting on the pot.
Continue grieving and healing both my childhood abuse and the ways I've developed as a result of that abuse. I'd like to be able to look honestly at my relationship with Michael: the good, the bad, and the ugly; and learn from it all. I'd like to learn from my mistakes and general relationship mistakes and warning signs. I'd like to be able to forgive him, and to forgive myself, for the end of this relationship, which was so very, very important to me.
I don't know that I need to improve. I would rather practice acceptance of myself. "Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world."
I touched on that in the last question...get closer to God and lose weight and get more healthy. There are so many things. I hope to get a good dependable car. I hope to get my house repaired so I can possibly sell it. I would like to get a smaller house and a travel trailor and a truck or car bo pull it so I can visit Wayne and his family for extended periods of time as well as visit friends. I don’t feel I can move away because Uncle Melvin need me here but I would like to be able to travel. I would like to have a God fearing, caring, loving, protective husband who I can get along with and who wants to protect me and provide for me, and who will help me with getting this house in shape. I want someone who can be my spiritual leader and who believes as I do and who I can learn more about God with. I want a peaceful but not lonely life. I don’t think too much anymore about learning Spanish but it is still in the back of my mind. I just want positive changes in my life....l do not want to waste another year on foolishness. I would like to get out and meet people and get more exercise, find a new church and church family. I would like to lead others to God and be able to encourage them...especially my own household. I don’t want to just separate from Rick and his abuse and then do nothing like I have in the past.
I had a fellow musician tell me that he really enjoyed just hearing me play with just the basics and not all the complicated electronics I had been adding. I would like to tap into that simplicity in art and music.
1. Be more present and live in the moment. 2. Have more adventure.
Ah, this is a repeat. I have been doing well with reading, but poorly with magic & piano. I again would like to get back to them.
I hope to continue to develop my capacity to be honest and forthright about my needs and boundaries. To trust myself — my need for rest, my refusal, my want. Without shame or judgment. To be softer and kinder to myself, to quell the inner authority and stop pushing myself so hard. To stop pushing against discomfort. To trust my "no."
I need to let go of the things I cannot change. I need to learn to let harbored anger and resentment go...
I want to find more ways to connect to my emotions, and I want to use them more often. I am more myself when I get to feel, rather than just be. And I connect more to others when I do the work in myself, first. I have been steeped in the advice and support of amazing people this year, from my closest friends to the brilliance of Glennon & Amanda Doyle. I’m not ready to pick just one piece of advice, but the two that stick out the most are: 1. It’s always okay to quit family. 2. If you have to choose between disappointing others and disappointing yourself, always disappoint others.
See yesterday's answer. Also, I hope to be more accountable to myself and my people, to be more tolerant and more forgiving.
I've tried to get creative with my answers for this over the years, but this year I think I've come back around to losing weight. I hate that this is still an issue for me. I hate that I can't like myself fully until I'm less heavy. I'd love to be the person who can love myself no matter what I look like, but since that clearly isn't happening, I need to do something about my weight. Enough is enough. I can't go on like this much longer. I think I've convinced myself somehow that the reason I'm still single is because of my weight. I know, deep down, that that can't be true. I know bigger people who are in loving, meaningful relationships. And, I know that not every person in this world is shallow and cruel. But I can't figure out the problem, and maybe it's because I need to find something to control, or something. But by this time next year, I want to be fitter. I want to have gone on 50+ hikes and maybe done a running challenge, or made more time to skate, or found a good dance class. I want to be working toward being beautiful inside and out. And I know I have plenty of work to do on both.
I want to do more. Move more. Write more. Be a better friend. Accomplish more. I have done so little during the last year and a half. Counsel? No, I just need to organize my days better.
I need to maintain my physical well-being by maintaining my current fitness level and attempting to moderate my stress. The pandemic and its attendant lifestyle of social distancing and working from home have resulted in increased isolation and stress. Choosing to focus on my physical health will help with my emotional and mental health.
exercise and read more
i want to lighten my load, I want to stitch the projects that I have and not have them hanging over me. I want to find the joy again in stitching and what that time means to me. I have been "encouraged" to stitch for 100 days. I am on day 5 and so happy
Work on a breakthrough. Be kind to yourself. Allow the changes to happen with grace. Be open.
I want to play more concerts—it felt so good to be back on the stage. And I want to have clarity about my next big artistic projects: in a year I’ll be getting ready to go on sabbatical. And I want to be healthy, including having a healthy relationship with food. One helpful piece of advice: notice when the bite doesn’t taste as good as the last one, because you’re starting to get full.
The theme this year has been adaption. I've been adapting to life in a pandemic. I've been adapting to motherhood. In the process of the adaptation the ways that I used to care for myself, the ways that i reconnected and recharged are no longer available to me (daily journaling, running when I want, going to the gym and swimming, meeting up with friends, going for a hike by myself with Saki). In this next year i want to find ways to get back into these activities or find new ways to recharge mentally physically, spiritually even with the new limits in my time and energy. Also, I would love to find a new job that fits better with my new priorities as a parent. I can't think of any advice right now. All that comes to mind is a conversation with a life coach who got the ideas churning and gave me hope that there is a path forward that strikes the balance that I want.
Last year's answer about doing more self reflection feels relevant right now, except last year I was about to start therapy with Michelle and now I'm just ending it. I want to take more time for myself to read or dance or play sports or do other things that aren't purely social or physical health related. I think almost all of my free/choice time falls in to those two categories right now (plus joylessly scrolling wasting time). Maybe my goal should be to be less impulsive about my phone use but I'm genuinely unsure of how to do that. I'm going to google it and look for a new therapist.
Same as 6.
I found the better job. I think I'd like to have started to enjoy my life more, and stop over-intellectualising things. One thing I've been told before (and was over the last year) was that only I can do the things I need to do, so I did some of them. I hope I'm more proactive over the next year and grasp the opportunities life gives me.
Exercise more. Get more sleep. Eat better. Everything else is just a matter of spending the time. No advice other than about wrestling a pig in the mud.
I want to continue on my path towards working on my own terms such as off hours, working remotely, spending time on my volunteer responsibilities. Makes working less of a grind and gives me the ability to continue to make time for a fitness routine.
Servir Ouvir mais minha esposa
I want to live the next year as uncomfortable as I can. And by this I mean, constantly doing things that I don't want to do but I know are good for me. I want to start excercising regularly and eating healthy as well as going back to therapy and journal daily for self reflection. Heard a quote: "You're biggest enemy is you...The only person that gets in your way is you." The only way you're going to improve yourself is if you push yourself out of your comfort zone because if you stay in you're comfort zone that means you aren't growing.
I was told to only eat when hungry and eat slowly. That got me to finally start to lose weight. That inspired me to then begin to exercise more consistently. My hope is to keep it going.
I hope I've made progress in finding more self compassion, for that to be a path and not wandering without a trail every time. Can you find some compassion? will be a good question to ask myself, often.
celebrate the winds, be gentle with yourself and others, and show up whole. I would like to be more honest and present with those around me. and myself.
I would like to find peace with the shattered state of my family of origin. My father is not speaking to me. I've done everything I can to mend the relationship and still, I have no contact with him. I hope to find a way to move forward with peace. I don't want to practice arguments in my head anymore. I want to move on and live my life. He chose to leave my life and I need to find peace with that reality. The advice I received that helped: "I am not responsible for other peoples' feelings. If someone is not ok, I can still be ok, even if they are not ok with me."
More reading, more exercise, more routines with diet, turn eating/fasting into a spiritual exercise of gratitude and be mindful of where food has come from. I have received really good advice about keeping things slow and doing less, so will try and keep to that e.g. slow eating and be less frantic
As Daniel Tiger says: take a deep breath and count to four :)
Find time to read each day, even if just a page. Find moments to 'be' - without music/podcasts/doing. Spend time in the garden and out walking - it always invigorates me. Play heaps with Tali - she'll only be this little once. Go to bed early - I know I feel better when I do. Keep weekends uncluttered. Meet friends for walks rather than static coffee where feasible. Embrace and seek out feedback to unearth my blind spots. Keep working on that people pleasing ... it's too much!! Don't take on too much. Your time is precious. Allocate it judiciously.
Keep being there and try to be more generous and open to being there for friends and family. Exercise a bit more. Perhaps get some healthier eating habits? My doctors may force that on me anyway. :)
More grace, mercy, and patience with/for myself and others. The first 2 come from the Anne Lamott book, Hallelujah Anyway, that spoke to their importance.
Not avoiding conflict - better communication.
Stay calm in the face of stress. Advice from prior year is to remember how not staying calm ended up making me want to die.
I think the biggest thing I want to improve is my connection with others and with my experience within the moment. I spend a big amount of time in my head. Winters always seem especially hard because even when I walk I am feeling sensations of cold and dreariness and so I don't really feel connected. When spring rolls around I always emerge under the covers of depression and then I dread the coming dark days beginning in July. My retreat from the moment into my thoughts, ruminations, and fantasies never make me feel better. They only make me feel worse and more alone at the end but when I retreat mentally it feels so good initially. It is a vicious cycle that I want to try to break through building stronger connections.
I want to take care of me more!! Just keep learning who/what I am and be caring and loving towards that person. Which means accommodate their quirks, and stop destroying in an attempt to soothe <33
I don't really attempt to improve myself because that would be hard work and I'd probably fail at it. But I do think psychedelics have the power to unlock a lot of positive elements of personality and self reflection. I don't have plans exactly, to do more psychedelics but I know that I will do them and when I do I plan to focus on how I can benefit from them to improve myself.
I would like to get a better handle of my drinking and smoking. The last couple months have been challenging and I have upped my intake of alcohol and marijuana to “manage the stress”. I know that it is unhealthy and unsustainable behavior, but right now it feels too normal so I need an adjustment. I’m hoping the Yom Kippur fast helps with this. As far as advice or counsel, I have received a lot of good advice from Prof. Brogan, I just need to start putting that into practice.
I'm no longer as angry as I used to be. It's still there - a small bit of it - but really I'm just tired and sad. There's only one piece of advice I can think of that pertains to my situation - there's no "getting over" the loss of a child; there's only getting through it. And getting through it - and improving myself - means reducing any self-pity or self-centeredness that creeps in at times.
I’m coming to realize that only thriving and never feeling like I’m just surviving isn’t often how life pans out and that is ok. That it is possible to be thriving while still surviving certain challenges and constraints. That doesn't take away from the parts of my life where I thrive and live my dreams.
I WANT a neat organized clean house. the guidance is I can't do it alone we need outside help.
I would like to be at a healthy weight, to no longer be overweight. I would also like to be more secure financially for the future. I’ve been reading Julia Cameron’s book on losing weight by writing. Keeping a good journal has been very difficult but also extremely insightful.
Respond quicker. Maybe find out why I don't care about much of anything--is there anything worth caring about?
I know how to encourage change, but am too depressed and too unhealthy to do more outside the home.
Be more comfortable putting myself out there for romantic possibilities. I can't keep standing on the edges hoping to get noticed.
Take charge of my schedule. I can't keep the pace with Mr. Go, (haha). I don't HAVE to always go when he wants to, I just have to convince HIM that I don't have to go! I also need to lose weight, and exercise more. Since my diagnosis of MG 3 years ago, I've felt very limited in my physical abilities. It's time to stretch myself, time to take charge of myself.
Try listening to my self and my therapist. Commit to me. Care about me.
In the previous question, I hoped that I will have lost another 10-15 pounds and gotten stronger. Fits just as well here, too. I hope to improve my finances and some things have changed in that regard, but not enough. And I hope to keep reaching out to others and keeping friendships growing. As for advice or counsel, I do keep seeing reminders to be grateful. Which I am and I don't need the reminders for that, but it doesn't hurt to get them, either.
The major thing that happened was that I learned that my flush of shame and avoidance at feeling "called out" for any kind of imperfection was really harmful. I feel like I've learned that heaping shame on myself for someone else asking me to do something differently (if politely and reasonably kindly) just makes an okay situation into a bad one.
Put yourself first. Even before your family. I need more time to take care of my mental and physical being.
I want to be actively involved in writing, singing, comedy, and volunteering. I want to include meditation daily. It helped me get through my noisy MRI today. I am watching much, much less news thanks to some fabulous advice. I love my new and old friendships with a variety of women. They are a blessing.
This question makes me tense. Always trying. It's exhausting and causes me pain. How's this for a koan (not to be confused with a Cohen): deeper self acceptance.
With luck, I will get a knee replacement and can return to hiking. Bit of advice I received this past year - "Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach." - Clarissa Pinkola Estes
I think I just need to take more breaks. There has just been too much going on and too much on my shoulders lately. I should just take my own advice and give to myself first.
More time outside. Like for real. I don't know why I have been unmotivated, but I need to change that.
I want to be better at being productive (intentional time spent), I want to go to therapy regularly & I want to be well on my way to my dreams & goals. I want to have at least half of my desires from my desires list from this year completed! The advice I think will be my guide is, Get Out Of Your Own Way!
Less stuff and less clutter. Increased mindfulness. My intention is to be a more supportive, kind, loving human. Find meaningful “work” in this part of my life. Be me without fear.
I'd like to be more healthy than I am now, especially in my nutrition and incorporating mindfulness practices into my daily routine(s). The advice I'm often given is to 'not take it personally' in regards to a job prospect not working out. I think its important to remember that by having faith in me, acting on what I believe in my heart is right and the resilience to keep going helps me to realize the truth behind that advice. It's not about me or because of me. As long as I do what makes me happy and/or strive for experiences, things and people that make me feel that way, the opportunities I don't get or aren't given are just that and not a judgement on the qualities or quality life I choose to live.
I think the single most important piece of advice that I have received this year is to slow down. I have experienced that this can enhance my presence to my son, to my husband, to my patients. And to everyone who I am with. Slowing down is also key for me managing stress, which I see as the greatest potential saboteur to my success and happiness. The ability to recognize the temptation to rush and then to quiet that voice and allow myself to go to more deliberate pace is what I want to practice this year.
Waste less time on spite. Find more ways to have joy. Move more. Sleep more but don't skip sex for sleep. Figure out a next step. Be more present with kids.
Part of me wants to stop trying so hard. I want to return to peace. I want to feel safe. I want to be rewarded for all my hard work. I don’t have any advice or guidance to go by. That’s the part about choosing loneliness- it’s lonely.
I would like to get stronger and be able to see people and interact more with friends this year than last which was hobbled by COVID
Stay in touch with people more, and keep working on my patience with students and my own children
I would like to continue moving my body for the joy of it. This year I've leaned in to walking and yoga, as well as a few strength things I can do at home, like pushups. I would love to go back to a gym for weights and swimming, eventually. Reyna Cohen is great, as is Casey Johnston, for guiding movement with self-empathy and body positivity.
I would like to release my past programming, to stop being so triggered. To live with grace and compassion and allow love and life to flow, and not fight with people or situations
I would like to grow and improve in the following three ways: 1. Staying curious, not judgmental 2. Pushing myself to follow through on my ideas, goals and insights. Going one step further than concept to rounding out my thinking and communicating/delivering my views, insights recommendations clearly. 3. Maintain a goal setting and productivity practice. I've learned about different systems and tried some out but I don't often stick with them. I really want to incorporate a system to increase my productivity and help me be more efficient in my work. Less procrastination, more efficient work, more time for family and play!
I think the biggest advice I can give myself is to not be a afraid of change and to be brave in making bold moves, like to another country and maybe to a new job.
I'd like to either actually DO all of the things that I have said that I need to do each year, for so so so many years, or let go of those things and just accept what & who I am. I am tired of just giving lip service to the changes that I need to make in my life. It's pointless to say the same things over and over and over and over again, and to not put effective action behind those words. I mean, sure, I've done lots of things: counting calories, exercise programs, diets, running, walking, you name it. But none have worked, because I get discouraged and give up. The question becomes: am I willing to make the life changes needed to get me to my ultimate goals? I need to dig deep and decide what really is important to me, and then let go of the rest.
Over the next year, I want to make more money - and that means I need to negotiate my compensation. I have for years said to people that if you don't ask, you don't get - well, I need to make sure I'm asking for what I'm worth.
I honestly am working on being able to identify my stressors and defuse them in a way that is healthy for me. I know that I need to work on my brain (through journalling and meditation) and my body (through exercise) to maintain my health and good mood. Sometimes I don't do these things, despite knowing that I need to, because i am tired or too stressed or I choose other things to get a dopamine hit (like online shopping or eating off plan foods or drinking alcohol). I really would like to be a person who can work through their thoughts and feelings and decide to believe and act on things that are helpful for me and my family and friends. I have received lots of advice this past year that has been very helpful, but I can't think specifically of anything except that I want to be able to feel my feelings and live in an unbuffered way and in a way where I genuinely like myself and don't feel guilt or shame about how I show up with myself, my friends, my family or my work.
Trust your gut. Deep breaths, feel your feelings and trust your gut. I’d like to be less immediately volatile when things annoy or upset me or stress me out. Especially to my husband. I hear the way I speak to him and it’s like a rage that flares up and then disappears very quickly but I seem to need a few minutes of intensity before I can be reasonable and calm. I’d like to work on that because it’s not a trait I like about myself.
I would like to improve my relationship with myself and god. I would like to think of Sara Blondin, who said: I want to be on my deathbed and know I did everything I could to perpetuate love. Also, I would like to continuously ask, is this moment in front of me being left better? Life doesn’t owe me anything and I would like to remember that as I go through this next year. It’s up to me and my faith in the universe to take action and trust in the unfolding.
I want to keep learning and implement more things, not be so hesitant. Listening to Matthew McConnaghey’s book and when he told his dad he wanted to act, his dad told him, well don’t half ass it. So that the advice, don’t half ass it.
Relax, forgive yourself, be more compassionate. Trust your gut, know your worth and don't let others determine your value.
I would like to care a little less about what others think. I have been in a situation a couple times this year where someone else's mood has totally affected my own, and while I think sometimes that empathy is good, I would like to be a little more resilient to the mood changes of people around me. I think I also want to live up to having high standards for myself in terms of the way I interact with people and what I expect from friendships and relationships -- I don't want to take a harsh route but do want to continue asserting my needs and when I am hurt by something rather than only writing it down.
Live healthier. Don’t talk about it. Just do it. Be the change you want to see in this world. Don’t give up. Even a little progress is progress.
We can do hard things!
See previous answer (day 6). Still inspired by the serenity prayer. Also - anger is like a hot coal, the person holding it is the one who gets burned. I want to be kinder, less angry, more intentional w/ my time. I want to make more charitable contributions and maybe other kinds of efforts towards climate issues and abortion rights.
I would really like to work on my thought processes, my attitude. I like the concept of mindful mindset. From my tarot journal: "Mindset matters. Be fair and optimistic -- be mindful of cause and effect of thoughts and actions. [some of this is from 5th spirit tarot] "Maybe less complaining, and continue the abundance work, and be mindful of my thought patterns." I've caught myself getting into negative thought patterns lately (not just the anxiety, which is a different thing and I am working with that gently and well). More like, complaining about a partner/kid thing, complaining about how a thing went, or worrying out loud about how a thing will go. I don't want to center so much energy in those spaces, because I think they drag me down. And I would rather be more open-hearted, look for the bright side. It always FEELS so much better.
Be more receptive to my sense of a Power greater than myself... The best advice I've received is: Trust G-d Clean House Help Others
I would like to stop dwelling and caring about people who aren't so relevant in my life, such as Eddie. I feel for him and hope he gets the help he needs. I also hope that I am able to keep my boundaries with my father being far away. Advice I would give myself is, just breath and give your self the time and space to think and relax.
Meditate and do yoga. Even if you are doing it for just a little bit, do it. You will feel better and be more focused.
I want to improve a few key aspects of my life this year. I would like to get in even better shape this year. I am currently in the best shape of my life but I still have a ways to go and want to continue down this fitness path that I’ve started. I want to get better at cooking. I’ve definitely improved a lot over the last year but I want to continue pushing those boundaries and get really comfortable creating my own recipes in the kitchen. I want to improve my Spanish to a fluent-enough level that I can get by in Spain fairly well. And I want to improve my Korean to the intermediate level as we prepare to have kids who I hope will be able to speak some Korean. I want to continue to push my boundaries of learning to be empathetic, humble, and patient. I hope to be the best version of myself so far by next year.
I would like to keep up my exercise regimen as I did a few weeks ago. I think I would tell my future self to not be so hard on myself and go with the flow as much as possible.
If like to stop obsessing so much when preparing for camping. I don't think I've had any specific advice on this, but I probably need to take less than I think!
I would like to be more confidence in myself and assertiveness. I'm constantly looking to others for answers that I have or could easily find myself. I hesitant to speak up when I know the truth if it means making someone uncomfortable. I often question whether or not my truth is valid or even valuable. When I question my knowledge and authority, so do others around me. I want take the risk of some people finding me to be bossy or bitchy or cocky in order to gain the reputation of smart, bold and opinionated.
I would like to feel a range and depth of emotions I have been unwilling to experience for so many decades. I am doing a weekend with the Hoffman Institute in November and have heard it is as powerful as est, which totally changed my life!!!
Health is Wealth. Now that I am supposed to have more time, I should not be procrastinating.
I'd like to have lost more weight and gotten more physically active. I have a fitbit and fitbit friends that are very supportive. I'm hoping that will be good motivation to move more.
I am already enough
I could use to lose a few pounds around the middle, maybe move them upwards? I’d like to get better at finding my energy and drive. I’d like to be more active. It’s been a long, hot, lazy summer. I already found a woman who cooks, so really, just a reminder to Be Kind. That, in itself, is solid advice.
I'd like to get into the habit of working again. I've really slipped out of it since taking some holiday at the end of July and early August. I don't seem to have the urgency or motivation, unless one of my clients asks for something specific. I'm still happy to aim for 4 hours a day. That's enough to live off. I need the habit and the routine. I'm definitely still in the holiday habit. There are no consequences if I want to stay in bed a bit longer and take yet another day off work. I guess if I continue to diminish my savings, I will eventually be motivated by the need to earn more. But I'm also just listening to my body and mind, which still feels like it's recuperating from burnout. In some ways, I'm enjoying part of my retirement now. I'd also like to resume paying into my pension, which I haven't done since my last payslip at the end of October / early November. I've probably got enough in savings to make up the lost contributions, but I'm somewhat reluctant to lock that money away in case I need it.
This whole thing is going to take a while. Relax. You want to get somewhere, but the whole thing is slow going, so you will get somewhere but it's not going to be fast and it's not going to be easy. Relax.
My hope for the year ahead is that I am more instructed by both my negative and my positive patterns and history. Why do I continue to have the same goals year after year? What is instructive to me about the fact that I have not taken meaningful steps? Why do I measure myself more by my perceived shortcomings than by the many remarkable successes I have?
I'm not sure - I feel like I'm on a good personal journey. Maybe be less stressed! I am bad about overbooking myself. I think I finally lived the advise I'd always been given in this past year though and things have been better that way.
I guess if I can't change the world (and clearly I can't!) then the best thing to do is work on myself. Dig into family trauma that I only recently realized I had for the sake of healing. Examine how the patriarchy has shaped my life with a seemingly invisible hand. Process the wild rollercoaster I've been on since Jan. 2020. Continue exercising. Get my RA under control. Be more loving, accepting, understanding and compassionate. Maybe more patient, too. Write more. FIND A GOOD THERAPIST!
I’d like to be “one step ahead” of my Team at work, when they have concerns. I want them to know that I’m “on it” and support them. I want them to respect the fact that I will fight for them. I think they respect me but I want to become a stronger manager.
Keep focusing on the present. What is the best for today, do not give up today's beauty for the promise of tomorrow. Keep today real. Keep today kind. Revel in all of TODAY's gifts.
I would really really like to improve my listening skills. I know I will have the opportunity to practice while in my program but hope I will have made progress by next year. I want to get better at asking why and not reacting so much but slowing down and hearing what people are saying. Also be slightly less judgmental.
I need to be more consistent, procrastinate less, make more affort, watch less tv/phone etc. Spend more time with Beloved and M. Read more, go outside of my comfort zone. Advice from a YouTuber, either get more sleep or adjust your expectations.
There are a few things that I’d like to improve. Health and fitness (both physical and mental) being the most important.
WAIT: why am i talking. i care, but i'm not triggered handstand :)
It's Kol Nidrei tonight. As I write this I am listening to a progressive service online. It feels a little empty for me, which is perhaps churlish for me to say as a non-Jew - I hear a lot of wise & kind human thoughts, but little Torah. It would probably be better if I could understand Hebrew. I've tried to follow along, alone, with these days of awe. But it's hard when you're not part of a community, and when there's no identity for me to claim that would justify taking leave on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. It's hard to generate the momentum for chesbon ha-nefesh and teshuvah on my own and in secret. I was wondering why I felt so compelled to say the above when it doesn't directly answer the question, but maybe it points to an answer. I would love to find or build a spiritual community, that can help me grow as a moral and spiritual human being, that can be fertile soil for a little seed to hopefully one day grow into a big tree. And I would like to incorporate more spiritual discipline and reflective practice into my individual life. Now, after dissing the rabbi, he has just said something very profound: "let us pray as if everything depends god, and live as if everything depends on us". sometimes I feel as if G-d is very far away. But I think of the online service I listened to in New York, where the rabbi spoke of how those born to other nations were part of the covenant from the beginning. And how mastery of prayer and Torah Hebrew might seem far away, but actually they are close. I feel that these are pieces of advice that could guide me. Cultivate an attitude of utter trust in g-d, while taking responsibility for my actions. And don't be afraid, for it's all already close, immanent.
My advice to myself: be more gentle to yourself, loving and forgiving, every day. Allow yourself to be the great and special person you are.
Have more discipline with my yoga and meditation practices, because it serves a purpose beyond my physical health. And I would just advice myself to feel more, think less, listen to my body, be present...
I super appreciate my answer about being kinder to myself last year and I want to continue to do that. My friend recently posted about how “Aging is the distillation of personality" and that rings so true. Each year, I hope to shed another layer of facade. Another set of beliefs and thoughts that I was taught, but no longer serve me. I know that a lot of what I thought made me happy and fulfilled was only for others and their expectations of me. As this distillation of me continues, I hope to pursue better relationships and better ways to interact with this one precious life. I want to give fewer fucks about trivial shit each year. Luckily, so far, I do.
I would like to focus on taking care of my mind and my body, and not valuing myself based on the work that I produce. It is okay to take time to do nothing. That time is sacred and it is necessary.
I would like to feel calmer about going out to stores or restaurants. I would like a greater sense of equanimity during my excursions.
A friend asked me what I was going to do for myself this coming year, how I was going to have fun. I might visit my cousin in California- I've never been to the west coast. Maybe I'll go to Israel. May I'll learn something. new.
This year Rayen told me that I need to listen to the cues my body and mind send me. That I can't just burry and deny every impulse I have by telling myself that everything is ok, that I can adapt, adjust to everybody's needs and put mines aside. She told me that to feel better, I need to acknowledge my thoughts and make a plan, even if it's in 5 years. I need to give my mind the respect it deserves and have the decency to tell it that yes, I am moving forward and listening to what it needs. So next year my life will be about this. Adjusting my lifestyle to MY needs, listen to what I need in my daily routine to feel whole again. If it means living away in another apartment and coming back -home- half the time instead of sharing my space with others 100% of the time, even if this is technically the right way to be in a relationship and in a family, then so be it.
SO many ways. I would like to see the world and be healthier.
I want to refocus my efforts in work and in my art making. There are few avenues at work I can follow. The same with art making I just need to pick one and start walking!
I hope you do try do something musical. Don't leave the balalaika collecting dust or do that Shir shel Yom thing you always wanted to. Am glad to be doing this radio show with O, hope you acc finish it abd maybe do others?? I've been formulating some desire to do proper travel writing-y storytelling-y things and something audible might be best (IM NOT STARTING A VLOG)
I would like to stop apologizing for the things I want and need. Sonya Renee Taylor says that the radical love means that every body is different and has different needs and comes into this world as radical love. The practice of radical self love means I can stop apologizing for what my body (ie myself) wants and needs. I am love. For me this means getting the support (professional or personal) that I need, spending money on what allows me to apologize the least for myself, and see myself as whole no matter what.
I am doing it all right now, and some things are falling through the cracks. House is a mess, I am eating my feelings (but at least healthy foods!), etc. I have gotten lots of advice about just accepting that and I think I want to work toward that goal. I am already better than I was in the past; I want to keep getting better about it. Messy house, messy yard, happy kids, happy parents, living in service to my community and planet.
I feel I would like to improve myself and my life next year by being my authentic self. Do those things that my heart and soul yearn to do. Yes, there is a piece to advice I received in the past year that could guide me, keep listening to uplifting messages and doing the next right thing.
You are better then you think. Believe on your strength and don't get discouraged so easily!
Last weekend, Carmen and I got beers and I was expressing how hard it is to love my fundamental self sometimes, and my internal struggles between who I am by default and what I want to be. She told me "The way you are makes sense to the stars. You're not crazy, your chart is just chaos" and that brought me a lot of peace. I wrote it down and have revisited it three times in the last few days. It brings me great comfort to know some things just aren't within my control. So, over the next year, I would like to embrace that. I would like to call a truce with the parts of myself that bring me the most shame, and welcome that they make me who I am, and as a whole, I am a valuable and worthy person.
I should be able to "cut" what has to be cut early on, or be more proactive when something is not going towards a good direction. Sometimes one tries to be too sympathetic, but that ends up being worse.
I want to cut back on phone time / screen time / social media. I think having a phone curfew before bed would help me sleep better. Hard to instill a new habit like that, but I know I can do it!
I want to be less angry. It isn't that I don't have legitimate reasons to be angry, it just isn't healthy for me.
More kindness. Don't be a centipede; take that first step. Choose an issue or two and don't feel guilty about not fixing the entire world.
The mantra I'm holding in my heart right now is "But what if you can?" It's from Christine D'Ercole, a peloton instructor. I would like to take more risks and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone.
I would like to improve my work life balance. I would like to accomplish work goals and have these accomplishments result in a significant shift at work. I would also like to take more time off.
Keep going with both therapy and my personal T'shuva Journey. To start going through what I did right and wrong in the past, to make that balance and try to reach out to those I wrong and keep working on the good things I have. Piece of advice... to get my priorities sorted out.
I'll reiterate last year's answer. I want to simplify my life and fun more. My friend mentioned the idea of tributaries, pointing out that many tributaries fill the lake of my identity and contribute to my happiness. That helps me realize that even if things aren't going well in one area (aka that tributary is dammed up), I can shift focus into another one to find happiness.
I'd like to live more in the moment and continue to challenge myself to experience new things and have adventures, even if they make me anxious. I think I'd try to say to myself "everything is all right, right now." I need to think about this exact moment in time and not the future or the past. If I'm worried about something to come, I hope I can ground myself in this moment and recognize that in this moment I am alive and I am okay.
Same as last year. I have cut out liquor as of five days ago. That's a start. Plus, I've started walking our dog again a few times a week. Today, I did a lot of yard work at my parents. That all qualifies as exercise. As for guitar practice... Well, I am playing gigs again. But, I do need to get back to my lessons.
I would like to be regularly reserving 1/2-1 day per week for education (work or self) so that I offer more as a friend, therapist, sister and daughter. Invest in yourself, you are worth it.
I need to use my brain more. I have been lazy since I had thyroid cancer. Now it is time to start something new and mentally stimulating. I think it will keep me younger longer.
I'd like to work on not getting upset over things I can't control.
As my mom of beloved memory would say, “No one should beschrie us,” but me and mine are ok. If our health (given our age), our family relationships, friendships, and financials don’t improve from this year to the next, dayenu, it will be enough. Now, as to the outside world . . .
More deep breaths; more thinking before speaking; more empathy for my children; more patience with my children; lower expectations of friends
I want to work on my physical health with more intentionality. I want to connect more deeply with my body and being. "Check in with yourself and invite relaxation into your body when you notice even the tiniest amount of stress".
I really need to like people more and spend more time cultivating friendships. This was my intention at start of 2020, but we all know how that particular year went: pear-shaped. Trouble is I did not care much. Not at all. This being sociable thing was a chore that Covid happily took off my 'to do' list. Let's see how 21/22 goes... Thanks for asking
I am still hoping to make new friends and connections but I'm not super hopeful given the state of the world unfortunately.
By coming in closer and more frequent contact with the earth. Gardening by planting flowers or keeping a bed of perennials alive and well. Earthing is beneficial for physical and mental health.
Do guided self-connection practice & SCP & metta practice with colleague Ricki regularly. Do turnaround worksheets.
I think I've done fairly well with my want to treat myself with more kindness over the last year. I think over the next year I want to continue with that goal, and also continue to pursue my leadership in various spheres of my life. From being camp director for the first time, to being Dept Chair, to being the lead Chem teacher, I'm really growing into my own as a confident leader, and I want to continue to foster that in myself.
Eating mindfully, not saying Yes EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I’d love to be reading more, getting to bed earlier, and exercising more. Those things probably won’t happen as I maybe don’t want them bad enough and as long as my kids are young and I’m teaching I won’t have much time. I don’t feel more efficient than last year but maybe I’m not concerned with that. Yosef recently gave a talk about playing to your strengths and thinking about what you already have and I think that would be beneficial to keep in mind. There’s a lot I have to offer the world and maybe I could love myself more and promote what I already can do instead of always trying to think about how I should improve myself.
I'd like to retire. Heard many times if one likes what one does s/he never works a day in their life. Well I hate what I do.
I'm past "improving" myself. I want to accept myself as I am. Truly accept the good and the bad. This is who I am at this moment in time. Looking towards improvement requires a negative judgement of myself. And I am tired of judging myself in search of some unattainable ideal. I'm doing my best. I have always been doing my best. I can learn along the way but I do not need improving.
At times we think that our ruraly life is ridiculous to maintain for two folks getting older, but really it has been wonderful during Covid and this climate changing summer of erratic weather. I want to trust that we will know when it is time to leave, and if we don't know, and we don't leave in time, that will be OK, too.
I've discovered that despite being so different from my family I still let their opinions affect how I see myself a lot. I need to grant myself grace that they would not and it needs to be okay.
I'd like to be making more money at a job where I'm on a team of others with similar skills to me (not just on a lonely marketing island by myself). Fitness-wise, I would like to be able to keep up with Josh on trail runs by this time next year. I'm allllmost there, but not quite since I still need to take walk breaks.
I would like to slow down without giving anything up. I would like to give more time to Francoise and to the boys. Somehow, it seems that I give all the counsel. Most of my advisors in life have moved on. I do look to my adult kids for their wisdom however.
I would like to continue to further develop the consistency of my sitting meditation practice and my direct exploration of dharmic materials
I would like to continue with the spiritual readings and journaling that I have been doing the last few months. The Spirituality of Imperfection and The Gifts of Imperfection have really opened my eyes to some of the false ideas and ideals that I have had most of my life. It’s been an amazing experience learning so much more about this particular topic and how it negatively impacts my self esteem and my entire life.
I continue to set a goal for more patience and to not sweat the small stuff! Our clergy has preached a lot about the need for self-care, giving ourselves permission to unburden and minimize what we think 'has' to be done.
Being more active in saying what I want. Actually opening my mouth and letting people know what I need.
I've made the move back to therapy. It has felt good, although lately the shine has worn off and it's back to the working life. I want to get better at what I do, develop some advanced skills I can feel good about, and not rest on the laurels of my past accomplishments. I don't think there is any specific advice I'm counting on, unless it was Lanthorn's old saying that you could have 20 years of experience or you could have one year of experience 20 times.
I would like to have spent more and to have gone outside our comfort zone in food, travel and other experiences. Advice: just do it
I would like to improve myself by acknowledging my anxiety and discomfort in conflict, and then working through it. I need to remind myself that conflict doesn't last forever and can be healthy to let others know my feelings.
Be present Be healthy Be kind Be creative
I want to improve my mental and physical agility. The best advice I got was from my younger sister. I was really struggling with a work decision and a personal decision and this is a direct quote: "Listen to your powerful intuition, rely on your prayer and meditation. Ask in prayer for it to be made abundantly clear". She is a wise woman.
I would like to be more punctual, i would also like to have more patience when driving! I'm always in a hurry, no matter where I'm going. So id definitely like to drive more safely and not aggressively, like a firefighter heading to a fire! 🙃
I would like to be less ambitious. It is simply not necessary to "move ahead" – whatever that means. There is a certain trust to cultivate in myself that whatever I do is fine, and however I do it will be fine. Or if I do "nothing" that is fine too. To live from the premise that growth itself is inherent. No piece of advice is guiding this feeling, in fact, the lack of ambition is counter to our culture, and certainly to my path thus far. Perhaps my Buddhist practice is supporting this disinclination for striving, I guess that is the closest thing to advice I could point to.
I would like to return to the way I used to be when I could let things roll off my back more. I’d like to be a little bit more fun loving. I’ve become very serious.
I'd like to be able to ask myself what I really want and/or need in my life. Not what's available, or practical, or possible, or convenient for others, but whatever it is I need to grow and be happy: I want to be able to discern that.
I want to regain my focus. Covid has torn down my ADHD coping mechanisms. It stretches my workday. It's hard to start anything. I want to build new ways to deal with my ADHD, even if that means beginning meds.
Connecting with myself and my experience is healing. There is nothing more to do than just to be with myself and the experience of the moment. This is the counsel I received and would like to continue...
from my Rabbi: What can I do to be more of what I want to be? Based on the question asked of Hagar, 'Where have you been & where are you going/"
I would like to be in a better place emotionally. I think that coming to the end of the fertility journey will help with that, no matter how it ends. I also think that my new journaling habit has been and will continue to be helpful. It has helped me get in touch with my feelings more than I was.
I want to find a better work life balance. I want to do more things that I enjoy. I want to improve the quality of my relationships.
I'm working on patience and commitment and slowly seeing them pay off. I used to think there was something noble in walking away - getting fed up and saying fuck it. Now, I see the nobility in sticking around - through the shit - and being committed to making things better in the long term. It applies everywhere. To work, relationships, my team.. But, I'm not good at it. I'm better at saying fuck it and justifying that. So, I want to keep it up. Keep committing and finding the patience to stick with things, because the payoff is sweeter and you know you earned it and worked for it.
During the coming year, I want to practice delegating and sharing. Too often I "just do it." I don't have the children or the spouse clean up for themselves or prepare a meal or do a task. I rush in to do it all, to feel needed, to show that I can be it all at home and at work. Except that I do a poor job in both places. My children have grown up with me making the meals, doing the cleaning, and knowing that I'm always there to pick up the slack. Now with my youngest as the only one left in the home, and seeing how my middle one doesn't really know how to get along independently, I see that my helping was not so helpful. So this is going to be a year of stepping back, letting others step up, and trying to let go. Delegating is hard. Letting go of control is nearly impossible. Yet the consequences of raising children who cannot do for themselves is a price I don't really want to pay.
After actually losing weight over Covid, I have begun to gain it back. Knee pain does not help, either. I must forge ahead and find that 15 pound solution. One piece of advice I have had is from Tyler Perry, to be consciously open to the possibility of spiritual contact.
Stop thinking about the process. Just do it. Make mistakes but make something. In art, there are no mistakes, just creations. In life, the fear of mistakes can hold us back from self-actualizing.
Stick to my PT/OT routines. Please, future me. We lost so much ground by having the back go out in July, and a lot of that is down to not having sustained my prescribed exercises. Just DO EET!
I want to stop looking to (and being hurt by) those in my family who have abused and/or rejected me. I want to really reach out to and flourish with a found family. I want to leave my family behind and let myself grow into whatever my life can be. I want to stop having so much pain.
Back when I was in junior high and high school, before a stressful event (a test, a forensic competition, a choral or dramatic performance) I used to ask G-d to help me do the best that I could, and if my best wasn't good enough, to give me the strength to do better next time. I would like to rededicate myself to doing the best I can--to devote more effort to all that I endeavor, instead of only waiting for "next time" to improve.
I don't want to be so afraid of change anymore, and be more willing to take risks with my career and my love life. I think my fight or flight instincts have caused a lot more problems for me than I'm willing to give them credit for, particularly in romantic situations. My advice would be to trust my intuition, but remember that intuition does not always lead to the real world. It's a guide of how to deal with things, but I have to pick up the slack once I get there.
My answer from last year is still something I'm working on, so I'll repeat it: Try to appreciate the things I have now as opposed to always comparing and striving for the things I don't have. Continuing to find body and life acceptance.
Low expectations, practice self care. That's what Rahel said when I asked for advice about going back to work. I don't have big goals, but perhaps the goal of making it through is big enough!
In working with my therapist, I've realized that there's a (young) part of me that has been afraid of and intimidated by the responsibilities of adulthood, and has tried to avoid certain elements, but in examining those fears, I understand that I'm not responsible for all the components that go into managing my home or my career, etc., and I'd like to improve my life this year by taking on some of those challenges that I previously associated with "adulthood-beyond-my-capabilities". For example, I've always been afraid of owning an actual home because then I'd be responsible for the roof and the pipes and it's just "easier" to pay a monthly maintenance fee and have someone else take care of them...but in reality, I'm the one who's had to pay for replacement windows and patio doors, the air filters, mold removal, and all the other repairs/upkeep of my condo, so I'm still capable of being responsible; I just don't have to DO the actual roof repairs myself :)
I want to really enjoy my retirement--finding ways to do so even during the pandemic. I want to read more books, travel more, find some kind of learning experience to keep broadening my horizons, and plan lots of travel with family and friends. The advice that continues to guide me is (1) from my oldest sister, of blessed memory, to live each day fully, to say YES! to as many experiences as I can fit into my life; and (2) from my mother, also of blessed memory, who reminded me to wake up every day and say THIS is a day in my life.
I am really thinking about and working on how I talk about other people. I keep trying to course correct for when my thoughts and words go into places that are judgmental or not nice to others. I still have work to do in this area, and want to try to make tangible gains over the coming year.
I would like to change my habits around food and exercise. The best advice I have received this year was to be more curious and less judgmental because curiosity is inherently rewarding. I work with this every day.
I mentioned getting healthier. I think too that I can work on the spirituality. I am going to dig into that more. Completing the Artist's Way would be something as well as really delving into Buddhism again are a couple ways to start.
Lean on people more, lean on community more, ask for help.
If you resent others for not doing enough, you are doing too much. (Devon Price)
How to make it more natural to love myself, stand up for myself (and others), and make time for myself so that I can be more available (to those close to me and those in the world I have not yet met). How to build confidence in myself in all aspects of my life to be present and connected. Life is too short to move through it unconsciously. A lifelong practice. How can we support each other, lift each other up so that we live our lives with more ease and love?
See previous question... I would like to be more mindful, as my therapist said. Thrive at work and help my team be successful. Less hatred and rage and fear toward things I can't control (politics, pandemic, climate change). Continue to give myself "me time" in the mornings and evenings even when work is insane.
There is no piece of advice or counsel I've received over the past year that stands out to me. I want to keep moving forward in healing in my grief. I want to keep moving forward in my health goals. I want to get to a place where I'm ready to meet someone. I'm not going to go looking, I am choosing to trust God to know when I am ready and to bring someone into my life in His good and perfect timing.
Who ever knows what the next year will bring? Certainly not me. I’m in the middle of dealing with another possible cancer diagnosis, and if it is true, it will be breast cancer that has metastasized. I just bought a book called “the wisdom of not knowing.“ This, I think is the place that I need to be.
I’d like to develop enough trust in and compassion for myself that I can do what I need to do to be happy. I would like to live from hope and faith instead of fear. And from Annie Dillard - “I would like to learn, or remember, how to live. … I would like to live as I should…I could very calmly go wild. … We could, you know. We can live any way we want. People take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience--even of silence--by choice. The thing is to stalk your calling in a certain skilled and supple way, to locate the most tender and live spot and plug into that pulse. This is yielding, not fighting. A weasel doesn't "attack" anything; a weasel lives as he's meant to, yielding at every moment to the perfect freedom of single necessity. I think it would be well, and proper, and obedient, and pure, to grasp your one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it limp wherever it takes you. Then even death, where you're going no matter how you live, cannot you part. Seize it and let it seize you up aloft even, till your eyes burn out and drop; let your musky flesh fall off in shreds, and let your very bones unhinge and scatter, loosened over fields, over fields and woods, lightly, thoughtless, from any height at all, from as high as eagles.”
I would like to remember to be more present, especially in terms of forgiveness. When I have shared feelings with others, being more in the moment is the feedback that I receive. I am not responsible to fixing the past, and I can be prudent about the future without being vigilant.
Same old. Lose weight, take better care of the house and kids, be better… I don’t get much advise.
I would like to be kinder to the people I love the most, and more willing to set boundaries with other folks, so that I have more capacity for those who I am closest too.
My life right now is firing on all cylinders : ) I think I may have that relationship I was looking for. It's funny that it is not with the person I thought I would be with- yet it is the relationship I envisioned. I feel good about my health and fitness level. My work is rewarding and I feel successful there. I plan to continue to focus on the good- focusing there has allowed all of these amazing things to happen for me.
I would like to continue to unpack my privilege and be mindful of how I affect others in various spaces. I want to continue to try to get to the bottom of why I do certain things and act in specific ways - why do I crave routine and stability so much and is it necessary to hold so tightly to this? My guiding mantra for 2021 was to hold less tightly to everything, as opposed to letting go. I'd like to continue this notion. In terms of advice I've received, it isn't super specific, but maybe something along the lines of learning to have compassion for myself. How can I show myself I love myself every day?
We're doing well on establishing a routine that lets us feel accomplished and has lots of rest time. Let's not let ourself get caught up in the false urgency of capitalism.
I need to tone up my body and get stronger. I can r=tell my body is OK, but I want to look as good as I can.
I have been getting in shape. I received my CPHQ certification last year and will have a graduate certificate in Implementation Science by the end of this year. I really hope to be considered an 'expert' on getting quality collaboratives up and running.
Over the next year I would like to be able to focus more on advocacy. As my kids become more independent and my schooling is over, I hope to be able to use that time in service of others.
I have been going through a training course called NLP, which is Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I'm about half way through the online courses. What it is, is it helps me communicate better with others. I'm learning to re-program the way I think about things as well as changing my behavior for the best I can be. I haven't told a lot of people about this, but I do feel like I am more outgoing and can engage in better conversations. I'm hoping by next year, I will have finished the program and keep on improving myself. I might even want to reach out and help others with re-programming themselves, too.
Yes, I was asked when considering making a professional move if it was ego driven or growth (expansion) driven - after much pondering, discussing, writing and thinking - I came to the conclusion that right now I don't want to focus on my professional growth but rather my personal growth and then perhaps one will serve the other? I know that if we focus too much on the professional that the personal suffers, I am not convinced that is the case if the focus is personal as I think that can accentuate the professional. My goal will be to have the spine pain under control, back to a regular workout and yoga practice and continue to explore what my personal life should be as that is the one I will always have - the professional one will go away in a few years as I look towards retirement and I get to really focus on what I want to do, be, desire and work toward when I grow up.
I'd like to continue on the good path of healthy decisions and walking. Perhaps add in another type of working out. I think the best counsel is we are all in a pandemic together and we are all dealing with it in different ways but that doesn't make it any less real or hard for people.
I've got to find more patience with my mom. I'm so anxious about her mental state and I find I'm getting more impatient instead of more patient. I think that's likely due to my own anxieties about what's to come and what the future holds for me as well.
SHMITA YEAR = RELEEEEASE. "I release control, and surrender to the flow, of love, that will heal me." Trust trust trust the flow. "There is no reality, it is all perception." "I did the best I could with everything I knew at the time."
I would like to find more space for myself to rest. To truly set down the work of my life and just breath, look inward and relax. COVID-19 hasn't allowed anyone to do that in a long time, but in particular the challenges we've faced as a family this year have been enormous. In a way I repeat the answer of last year: I would (should) like to lose 60-110 lbs, exude more calm, have more confidence, be more organized and less frazzled, calm the chaos in my mind. I wish for peace for my soul, getting more grounded and present in each moment, and generally calming the fuck down. But more than that, I want to understand how to do all these things in moments of deep trauma. How can you exhibit the best virtues of yourself when you are pushed to the absolute edges of yourself? There lies the growth I think I need to level up in all areas of life.
My goals for this year are be more authentically myself and be brave about showing up more and more. That can also be stated as two goals: 1) find ways to be knocked off center (hijacked) far less than I am now, and find ways to take steps forward in the direction I want without giving in to fear and judgement. That doesn’t mean I won’t get hijacked. I might. No, I will. My goal is to learn to handle it, take a step away from it and learn from it. Not react to it. Not jump in. And not give it. It won’t be 100% of the time, but if it can be far less than it is today, then I will consider it a success. It also doesn’t mean not having fear or not listening to judgement. Sometimes fear and judgement have something useful to say. But they should not stop me from taking the step forward. And the next step. And the step after that. The one practical thing I really want to do over this year is change (improve) my relationship with food. I’d like that to be healthier. Yes, I want to eat healthier, always, but I mean that I want to stop craving, mindless eating and emotional (soothing) eating. I’ve received a lot of advice and counsel over the past year. The bits I can share are generally well-stated in a book: Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown. Read it. But the one piece of “advice” is one I realized myself and now give myself every day: It’s my life. And it’s my choice. It’s my responsibility to use everything I know and all the tools I have to build my life the way I want, do what I want and make what I want. It’s all mine to do. Start taking steps.
Remember that the purpose is to serve the highest good. And that I might not always be able to plan that - be open to the unexpected opportunities and paths.
I want to continue to improve my diet and further tweak my exercise regime. Both are OK but could be better. I want to continue to expand my knowledge of software technologies needed for my work with an emphasis on security for embedded systems used for "Industrial Internet of Things" (IIoT) applications. After I completely recover from last year's surgery and subsequent radiation treatments, I want to return to bicycling.
Getting on the Peloton bike more often!!! Eating more veggies.
The best advice I've gotten this last year was from an elderly lady at church who told me to never look back to the past, because it's already gone. We can only look to the future.
Self-improvement (“self-care”—UGH) feels so narcissistic (if not destructive) in these times. I’d go so far to say it’s the root of all of what ails us in the macro. How about improving the world outside your fragile ego? Helping OTHER people instead? If anything, I wish I was doing more of that and less stewing about my petty, rather first-world problems...
Being more honest with people and myself. Quit putting others feelings before my own. Self-care is most important. I want to continue being a great person and there when people need me, but don't change plans or what I want to do for anyone else. Do what I want first.
NEVER stop dreaming, NEVER stop believing, don't let your dreams die. Hard work ---> Consistency ----> Patience This generational curse of poverty ends now. You will usher in a new era by the grace of God.
I would like to get my body back. Covid was hard on me both physically and mentally. I used to workout 3x a week, now I hardly move and my whole body is feeling it. I want to fit into my clothing again. Don’t give up on yourself. Taking time For self-care really does matter. Also, when people say date your spouse believe it and take that advice before it’s too late.
I just received a card from a penpal who hasn't written in over a year. I had avoided tossing her letters and photos, because a very tiny part of me hoped she would write back. And she did! I want to hope more this year. I want to strive for a brighter future. My Rabbi told us to acknowledge what it took to get here and not to the let the doubts of the past keep us from moving forward. I want to let my past lie and hope and fight for the future instead of feeling doomed. I got here. I'll get there too.
I would like to improve myself by finding a way to achieve better work life balance so I don’t have to continue working late at night and on weekends. My managers constantly tell me to work smarter and not harder.
Change diet, exercise habits. Eat and drink with intention for health and longevity; exercise reboot. And, the advice I turn to regularly: "live above the line"
Let go. Just let go. All my fear and unrest is all just in my head. I’d rather hear the voice or God.
Continue to read the bible, exercise, become closer with Sarah, the girls and Pretzel and spend more time with them and be positive instead of having the negative word in the back of my head,
I would like to improve my life by addressing the overwhelm and unsatisfaction I am currently feeling. I generally do not struggle with contentment, however stress and irritability are familiar. Things have been difficult the past year and I would like to be at a place that feels more balanced between work and life, such that I don’t trudge through just looking forward to the day or week ending or feel so frustrated or disappointed when I don’t get my way or things don’t go to plan. I think generally a continued gratitude practice can help as well as self care, meditation, therapy, maybe meds, etc
Becoming Crone. I'm closing in on the end of my transition year of menopause and feeling more like Wise Woman every day. May I pass on this wisdom to others; comfort others who are told they cannot be/they are too young, etc. Have patience. Give patience. Pay attention to how/when/where you give away your power. There is always another way.
Precisely the same as I said last year 1. Sleep more - I've been going to bed early (10.30 mostly)and that really helps. 2. Be more creative. Was so happy to be sketching every day till about mid march this year, when I stopped. I guess partly because I got busy designing Sing to win #3 but mainly because it seemed like sketching was pointless and nobody cared if I did it or not. I cared, in fact I absolutely loved doing it! But I guess just me enjoying something is not enough, I feel like it has to bring in revenue,or please people (Instagram likes were not increasing, and while I told myself it didn't matter, it clearly did matter to me🙄) Also I was discouraged by not getting better as fast as I wanted. I was improving, definitely I was, but I am quite good at a lot of things (not all, but I am a reasonably competent person as a rule) so I guess being sucky at something put a dent in my ego, and why would I want to continue to feel bad? I just have to get over myself and do it, not be so fixated on results.
I want to continue to express myself fully by locating and sharing how I'm feeling at work and with my friends and family. I want to continue to be "a friend to myself" at all times. I want to keep using the tools I've developed (journaling, exercising, breathing) to work through big feelings and hard times.
I would like to be more involved in stuff at school. Also be more independent with my work.
I want to nurture the garden and bask in its growth. This may be because it's too much, too big, too outside of my control to hope for a pregnancy after a miscarriage in each of the last two years. So instead I want to direct that nesting energy towards something living outside of myself, but also something that isn't binary (preggers/not preggers).
I want to unlock joy. I want to shed this patina of disappointment and settling. I want to feel light and open and free. I want to breathe deeply.
Love me more, love others more, incondiotionally without judgements Drive, for christ sake. I have been pushing it so bad and for so long time! Practise self betterment. Do the things that please me even i have to earn more money and work harder to do it. Drawing. Travelling. Listen to other stories. Social activism. New Projects and renewing the old ones. Family. New house. Choose to love. Choose to not be affraid of loving. Accept love and care. Love and care for each other. Say what´s in your heart. Accept that everything can´t be fantastic forever.
I’d like to find a better balance between the work that I want to do and the freedom from work that intrigues me. There have been many thought pieces written about this due to the impact Covid has had on so many folk’s careers. So, I don’t cite a specific person or maxim, but rather use the cumulative reading along with my personal desire to develop a plan.
The answer lies in my body. I'd like to be proactive about my mental health, my business, and my family life. So often I am reactive, waiting for things to happen to me, when I can go out and chase what I want. I want to be intentional about the projects I take on - are they worthy of my energy and my precious time on this planet?
I would like to be more productive. I recently received a suggestion to visualize and/or write down everything you want to do, have happen in a day.
I want to completely unpack the house - continue the declutter. I had no idea this time last year that I would have made this much progress - mostly forced by the new house. I want to actually complete the goal.
More family focused and less phone and multitasking.
“Get your own house in order” I want to focus on my issues, my needs rather than distract myself with other peoples problems. I also want to live more simply. Get rid of unnecessary stuff.
Advice I recently received: Leading is an action not a position. Conflict and uncertainty are a normal part of life. Also...stand in your own information I'd like to incorporate these three things into my psyche.
This is a tough one for me. I feel like I've failed in a lot of ways. I've acted very rashly feeling little control over my emotions, thrashing around because I want to be anywhere but the present moment. In this next year, I would like to be able to dedicate more time to my partner Mat, say no to things because I don't have the bandwidth, and I also need a job I can feel more satisfied in. As far as advice, I am recognizing that life only gets busier so how am I going to make time for it and still enjoy the things I love?
I’d like to give myself over to joy every day. It’s all too short
I am on a deep and long range path toward self-improvement, but one thing that will be key to my happiness and success and health will be developing a strong, consistent routine and schedule that will help propel me toward realizing my goals and dreams.
I should be more confident, I should trust my instincts more. I would like to be able to assertively stand up for my self and for others. I would also like to be less reactive and more centered and calm. Of course, all those things are easy when one is not facing 7 different challenges, but I believe it is possible and it is about certainty and love.
I would like to quit smoking a bad habit I reverted to a few weeks ago.
Ilan's advice in his drash is something I need to keep close to me; to remember that we are all both divine and imperfect, and to give myself and others a break; just try to do better next time. I need to let go of trying to control their outcomes and mine, and just try to have a good time. * Also, focus on taking good care of myself. Massages, time in the sun, important self care will help me be a better mother.
I'd like to clean up and fix up my home. Doing the out flowing plumbing this year was a great relief and not nearly as hard as I imagined. I'd like to get the grandpa finances in order.
I recently completed a treatment plan with a therapist and I’m feeling really good. Right now, I know that I am whole and worthy, and that boundaries are a really good thing. I find that I’m not really interested in leadership roles, which have been central to my life for many years (and also a source of anxiety and trauma). For the next year, I want to create things and maybe even get a job, or learn something new that could become a job. I was in a really dark and scary place for a while. Feeling contentment has brought me back to crochet—being creative feels so nourishing. I want to discover what my meaning and purpose are for this time in my life.
I want to balance accomplishing worthy goals and being present and compassionate. I want to be more routinely generous and joyous.
Once again, the answer is worry less. Love more, worry less. And really work on losing weight and improving my health.
I really want to become more focused. This is broader than my past answer to this, because I think focus is the key to a lot of my more concrete goals. I found that for my trip to Washington, for example, I was able to focus on that as a tangible goal and train and get in shape. Now, if I can build in more focus and sticktoitiveness, I can achieve my other goals - a promotion, getting fit, etc. My past self would probably use a saying I picked up from my therapist and really enjoy - "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." You have to start by "stacking days," and having success one day at a time until it becomes a habit.
Next year I want to improve the part of my life that feels ok when life doesn’t happen exactly as I plan it. I want to continue to have the feeling that things will work themselves out as it always has. I want to feel excited about the path my life is headed and have people in my life while I can share my accomplished, doubts and dreams. I guess the best advise I could put forward to any hardships I might have going on is that life is a process. You have to have have ups to know downs. I need to always remember that I am in control of my thoughts, that how I think and feel about any situation are made up by me and I have to power to determine how I feel about it. I want to keep in my prospective that there are things in motion which I have no control but I’m still in control of how I chose to deal with them. Life is beautiful, life is hard. Life is a gift but not all gifts are lacking understanding, consequence or even hardship. I am so fortunate for the life I have and the people who have let me keep them in my life. So much can change in a blink of an eye, and at the end of the day I am who I will be with until my very end.
'You can't pour from an empty cup' "The cup is already broken." - Zen saying "The water takes on the color of the cup." - Junayd
I am going to retire within the next 3 months and am looking forward to starting a new phase of my life. After relaxing for a while, I plan to provide myself with a structured retirement life, planned around eating well, exercising, learning something new, working one day a week as a volunteer and continuing to enjoy my hobbies.
I say this every year, but I am going to say it again. I need to focus on my physical health. I need to eat more healthfully and I need to get regular exercise. I will feel better physically if I do this, and I'm sure I will feel mentally more healthy too.
I'd like to get my weight and diet under control, for my health and wellbeing.
Same as last year - I want to feel happier & confident within myself. I want my daughter to be proud that I am her Mum. ❤
I want to truly have a healthy work/life balance; to be respected and feel effective at work, and to be connected and feel replenished at home. To be growing in my professional and personal pursuits, without sacrificing one for the other. And, "if it comes easy to you, it's your gift," and you should therefore value it highly (thanks Priya Parker on Brené Brown's show).
I want to stop being a people pleaser and do what makes me happy instead of running around killing myself trying to make everyone else happy. They don't care that I'm dying on the inside. All they see is the smile. They don't see my eyes.
Art, travel, Hebrew, reading. I don't know about counsel but life goes by faster and faster as you get older and I feel that I am aging-just a fact of life. Need to enjoy the little moments and take breaks, enjoy the things and people that bring you joy.
Believe in myself and my ideas. Ask the nagging doubting voice to wait outside until the idea is more fully formed. Trust in my work, efforts, and motivations. Go for it and take the leap to make change happen.
REST and don't wait. Life is finite. If you want the thing, get the thing. If you think of someone, let them know. If you have an opportunity, say yes... And It will wait. You're not that important, you don't matter more when you're busy. Take the time. Breathe. Experience things in their entirety before shouldering something else. Say no. Press pause. Enjoy this beautiful life.
I would like to pay more attention to my health (physical and mental), by eating better and keep seeing my therapist. My advice is to keep consistent, no matter if things change.
Keep in mind to always be kind.
I want to be able to walk/cycle further more easily. A disability in my left leg, compounded by arthritis makes long walks difficult, so I plan to try cycling more and trying to push myself to walk further, getting surgery if necessary to improve mobility. One thing that someone said to me this year helps - every step counts no matter how small.
I hesitate to set this, because I've been hesitant to do this formally, but I'd like to see myself in talk therapy by this time next year. I think it will improve my quality of life and anxiety inducing thought patterns. While there are reasonable, logistical barriers I think it's time to stop focusing on the reasons not to do a thing so much and embrace the unknown positives that may come of it. I certainly advise people on the benefits of therapy and I have friends who are in agreement. I just need to take the plunge already.
I'd like to either actually DO all of the things that I have said that I need to do each year, for so so so many years, or let go of those things and just accept what & who I am. I am tired of just giving lip service to the changes that I need to make in my life. It's pointless to say the same things over and over and over and over again, and to not put effective action behind those words. I mean, sure, I've done lots of things: counting calories, exercise programs, diets, running, walking, you name it. But none have worked, because I get discouraged and give up. The question becomes: am I willing to make the life changes needed to get me to my ultimate goals? I need to dig deep and decide what really is important to me, and then let go of the rest.
Openness and vulnerability. I hate the feeling of filtering myself tfor other people's approval or hiding myself to avoid disappointment. I want to be openly, unabashedly me in all aspects of my life. I'll take a page from AFP's book and say ''Let the age of the Crone commence!'' May this be the year to give fewer fucks about surficial things, embrace empathy, set boundaries, and follow the deep wisdom of my heart.
I would like to work on being kinder and more grounded.
I want to keep out the negativity and continue to bring in the good and positive vibes. I would also like to keep on practicing healthy habits, like daily walks, healthier eating, and working to take off those 10 extra lbs! I want to continue to practice self care and cultivate my relationships. So blessed to have so many good people in my life. I want to let people know how much they mean to me at every opportunity.
I would like to be more careful in my speech, especially to my husband. I want to reach out with love and kindness to family and friends and community. I would like to practice humility. I think this year has taught us resilience and shown us our own strength. I have found that balance and kindness and sitting in friendship and community are vital.
Downsize and simplify.
In the next year, I want to become more confident in myself, character, personality, accomplishments, past, and path to success. I want to spend more time helping others and I will do this by making a conscious effort of volunteering often. I pledge to make excuses a lot less than I have previously in life. I want to improve my time management, promptness, and efficiency. I will continue to but improve on using my planner to guide me, filtering out the unimportant, making touch decisions to cut things out, and preparing better. - 5 Ps: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance - Mike Reiss (British Army). Plan for 10 minutes early so that you won't be late. (Worked for meals at Eisner) I can use my mind to trick myself about anything. Think ahead.
I would like to quit worrying.
I would like to take my health and weight loss more seriously. Start now and keep going. Also relax and be more easy going. Pray for a a family and leave everything in Gods hands.
There's always Jack's "take care of yourself". I am sometimes very organized - I need to improve "sometimes" to more often. I don't know how to improve my family life of managing by crisis. I tried to avoid this. I tried, and it didn't happen.
I would like to continue to work on engaging in more focused stillness when I listen. I have, for a while, understood that real listening involves being present and focused on what is actually being said rather than either making assumptions from past experiences with the person or planning what I'm going to say. And I've also tried to modify how I demonstrate real enthusiasm with what the other person is saying, which is often to be overeager to add to their statements or ideas. While this is appropriate for some conversations, it is too much "from the head" for some of the important conversations I've found myself in recently and not enough "from the heart," which would simply be to demonstrate empathy. Recent advice I've received in this area comes by way of examples. I've noticed how Elders in the Circles we've sat in school are able to sit in such stillness for fairly long amounts of time--sometimes up to two hours. And I've noticed the effects this intently focused--yet quiet and still--listening has had on students who struggle with expressing themselves. I want to incorporate more of this focused stillness when I listen and make sure that my responses are true responses to what the other person has expressed.
I would like to figure out how to become healthy without having a fat phobic experience. I don’t think there’s any advice I’ve received around this.
I would tell myself that you already know what you have to do, maybe you don't have all the details, but you've already charted your path, you've already decided what you want to do, and you've already set your goals. Don't waste your time doing anything that distracts you from those goals because it has been proven time and time again that deviating from your path brings nothing but disappointment.
I would like to live next year more fearless. I would remind myself of two previous transformative moments in my life that help catapult me to change.
Travel, leadership - all such important topics - but this year I want to focus on being able to have quiet time. It is a real challenge for me, I am always go, go, go and during the pandemic, it has been frustrating not to be able to go..go. I don't necessarily want to fill the time with meditation or something others want me to spend my time -just being able to spend time with my thoughts - turn off the radio - or listen to music and let my mind find its own way to something - perhaps that will give me some peace.
Continue to deepen my ability to be true to myself. Be honest with kindness. Listen to my inner voice. Allow HP to guide me in all things, big and small.
I want to make sure to use my language to make life and the world a little better. I want to learn to speak good things over my life. I think the best advice I received was to not let the words others spoke over me in the past keep me down.
I want to learn more healthy habits for me to do everyday. Such as: - yoga/meditation - journaling/gratitude. I recently went onto my roof again and I can't stop going up there. I can watch the sun rise or set and listen to music. I can do yoga, meditation and journaling up there. I feel so at peace up there. Like I'm free. No one else can go up there because it only connects to my bedroom and so its like my little space.
Quit smoking. Become fully sober. I don't drink much anymore but still sometimes use it as a crutch in exhausting social situations. Continue the Artist's Way during my transition to a new country. Discovering the Artist's Way was the best counsel I found last year. I'm much more of an introvert than I previously realized and I find sanctuary in claiming time to write and think and feel for myself and let creativity flow. Remain balanced, healthy and happy during this transition.
The biggest and best counsel I received this year was the advice that led to my answer to #2: letting go of responsibility for my adult son. I hope to continue to do this with him this year and to enjoy the benefits of an adult-adult relationship. I would like to improve my ability to accept Peter’s love for me and to express more freely my love for him.
I would like to be better at telling others what I need and then letting them do it. I feel that it requires a level of trust and vulnerability that I'm not always comfortable with. I'm also impatient, which causes stress and leads me to do things myself when I feel that others don't act as quickly as I'd like them to.
I want to enjoy my upcoming trips & then get my home remodeled. As for advice I received, self care is a good thing, and stay safe from the virus to the extent you can. Get vaccinated.
1. I would like to lose the last 3lbs and maintain a weight of 145 lbs 2. I would like to continue to study modern Hebrew and build a better vocabulary and ability to speak to others 3. I would like to get more sewing done and waste less time. I would like to create a quilting curriculum to improve my work so it can be shown in regional. national and international exhibits. 4. I would like to improve my ability to meet deadlines and fulfill commitments
I would like to find ways to get back to cooking proper meals, rather than having just one thing to eat as a meal (e.g., bowl of soup or yogurt; a boiled egg; a plate of salad greens, et al). I need to be able to prepare complete meals each of which contains multiple and various food groups. Might see if clinical dietitian is included with Medicare on account of diabetes controlled by diet and exercise.
I would like to not swing between emotions as easily, but be more steady. I want to be as organized and tidy as possible and cook more (although, living in Japan means I'm going to want local cuisine all the time). X-D
I would love to let go of worries and predictions. I want to live in the moment. The one thing I've learned from the pandemic is that we can't make plans or predict the future. Just live here and now and appreciate the people and places shared with you.
This year I'd like to pull back from the anger and judgemental thinking/reaction I am having to people, in my family and friends, who are not being as vigilant about Covid as I think they should. The advice I've both given and received is there is little to nothing I can do other than take care of myself.
I would like to improve in my spiritual path and improve my Spanish language skills and become a mor kind and giving person who appreciates each day that I have left on earth and see the beauty around me.
I would like to become more disciplined and more able to manage my time (with school and personal health/wellbeing). I would also like to work on being more OPEN and less fake-snobby (which I seem to do when I feel nervous around men who I'm attracted to). I realized this last year that I often go for men who feel easily attainable for me because I am intimidated by ones who I'm impressed with. And then ultimately I'm disappointed that these other guys aren't up to my standards... I want to feel more confident to go for the kind of men I actually want to be with, and to allow myself to be open and flirtatious and confident that I am good enough.
I would like to feel more confident in my professional abilities. I know I'm a good teacher; I know I do well with students and make learning music a positive thing. I want to trust that my admin made the right decision in hiring me, because they did. I want to be able to sell myself better, and I want to stop feeling like an imposter. I also want to move to Canada. Join my partner, let our lives take off for real.
I hope I can make good choices and be out in the world and with people more in spite of any threat from covid variants. The advice that I will use to guide me will come from recognized authorities and scientists and not from rumor or social media!
Starting each day with morning gratitude and becoming more spiritually engaged in general. Reciting the Modah Ani prayer, meditation for example. Looking in to how I can more routinely participate in Shabbat services.
Well, two people told me (over the past two years) that I am "bright enough" to work in a hospital, and now I'm going to be working in one. So getting this new job will, hopefully, be an improvement in my life.
I'm going to spend a chunk of the money I inherited from my sweet father on myself. When I mentioned investing the bulk of it, my smartest girlfriend gave me some profound advice: spend your money, the future is NOW. I am almost 70 and she is so right. Were it not for Covid, I'd be traveling now
I still want to get my health back. I still don't have the energy to work on that.
Continue with couples counseling to improve our connection. Keep building up my business with Pia's support. Next year, I will welcome new authority-building opportunities that will keep up the trajectory of my business growth. Keep showing up for my kids in ways they deserve. I will continue to seek support with my healing. And challenge self-limiting beliefs. Eat more turmeric :) (inside joke)
I would like to appreciate my Mom for who she is, enjoy her company, not be so hard on her and not be so stressed out by her. Advice? Hmm, not really, just that she is who she is and I cannot change her. I love my life and surely that is enough to forgive her the old wounds and neglect I felt.
Never fall in love again. 26 months ago my husband of 36 years passed away. 2 months ago I met a man that I immediately fell in love with, and he with me. We planned to be married next month, only he died yesterday.
My current motto is: open heart, confident spirit. I want to be present with others and in the moment. I also am trying to stay positive and not getting mired in self doubt.
I'd like to grow and strengthen my leadership skills. I don't think I've gotten any good advice this year to guide me, but I have gotten some compliments. I think I could do better, though.
I want to be happy and relaxed in my own skin. I am hoping that feeling truly loved by my husband will bring me closer to that goal.
I guess in the next year, I'd like to continue working on the self-care tools I've worked on developing in the past few years. I feel a pretty healthy amount of anxiety right no, so helping myself improve with this is probably a worthwhile goal. Counsel I've received is to be easy on myself and recognize that the feelings I have right now are situationally normal and it's okay to not always be happy (while knowing the difference between "i'm sad or anxious right now" and "this is depression."
I'm planing on retiring! This will improve my overall attitude & maybe even my stress level which relates to my overall health. I also would like to start volunteering again which make me feel good about me because I'm helping my community. The advice I received at Slichot was the chorus of a song - Renew, Rejoice, Begin to Begin Again. Every year is a new begining.
The biggest change I'd like to make only became evident very recently. I am committing myself to a fitness and care program that will improve my bone density and strength. It's a tall order. Good eating, weight baring exercise, supplements, and weight training. The consequences if I do not follow through are potentially serious and life altering. So as much as getting my novel rewritten is important to me, I have to make this new regime as important as anything and everything else.
I did get a new job that I like. I hope to improve my skillset here and to always advocate for myself. My new boss has already told me to learn as much as I can, so when I'm ready for my next job, I can leave this one and earn 20% more. He also told me to always negotiate any job offer, which is great advice.
We are here. Try not to project into the future with things that you don’t know are goi to happen. Avoid “ what if’s” I’d like to be doing more of what I like professionally ( teaching)
I want to declutter my home, and go on with my volunteer work.
I'm reading this book called 'A Radical Awakening' by Dr Shefali that has several very inspiring passages. "The lion of patriarchy is fed on a diet of female servility. While we can bemoan the lion's predation, the wise understand that this approach is futile. True wisdom arises when we ask how this servility is perpetuated by the woman who allows herself to be internally vanquished. Turning the focus away from how the patriarchy creates servility to how the servile create their own bondage is the only way to break free." And, "Our power isn't against any man. True power is never against anyone. If it was, it wouldn't be power, it would be weakness. True power is always over the self, whereas pseudopower is over the other."
Give up the hetero bullshit rules. Give up imposter syndrome. I know how to do this -whatever "this" is. Just do it.
I would like to allow myself to enjoy time with my daughter a little more. To really sink into those moments and be completely present and treasure them. I also want to lose weight & be more fit. Being more mindful in general would be nice. Taking better care of myself would also be nice, like actually making time for doctors visits and basic self care. No advice or guidance jumping out at me now about any of the above.
I would like to make peace, or at least be able to work with the VP and director at work, with whom I seem to be completely at odds. I want to do this without sacrificing my beliefs or sacrificing patient care.
Be more present.
I would like to have a clear handle on what it is that I want for myself and not defer to others. I have my children to consider but it the end it all about me. The time I have should be used to acquire some new skills and make me more useful to myself and others. Health has to be a focus as is a healthy relationship.
Be healthier in mind and body! I'm not sure what's sticking but I think often about "What Am I Communicating?". Just having that self awareness is important. What I do is already saying something, so what do my actions also communicate?
LISTEN MORE DEEPLY. Listen to my gut listen to my intuition be patient with myself and most of all listen very carefully and deeply to others. That doesn’t mean you have to believe every single thing that you hear but listening deeply means that you are in the moment and that you were ignoring ignoring what they say and what their values are which is really important because a lot of times I tend to see things and hear things with the lens of what I want to see and hear over top of what other people are saying and it’s always leaves me down the wrong road
Lose feelings of fear, stress, anxiety and anger. However, I’m hardwired for same thanks to excessive abuse from my peers in my first few decades.
I would like to have a plan for where I'm moving, as well as a general sense of what's next for me. Did the game go anywhere? Did I meet anyone? The one piece of counsel I can lean into is to use my right brain to check in. Don't just worry about survival— begin to live.
I want to connect to the resilience of the Jewish people and make connections to the Jewish community. I don't know how to do that, as there seems to be no community near me that I'd like to join. I'm hoping that by reading Jewish Pride I'll absorb some of that. I've heard a way to withstand antisemitism is to feel our connection to our history, our people, our traditions (whatever that all means) . And I want to try that so I don't feel so powerless and alone in this issue.
I have been living in groundhog day for well over 18 months. Due to our ages and health issues my husband and I have stayed at home. My son has done all our grocery shopping. I figure it will be at least another two years before we can safely integrate back into society. The piece of advice was from my son who told me when lock down started March 2020 that the virus was dangerous and dad and I needed to stay at home. He agrees that it isn't that safe yet for folks with health issues.
Same as last year (again) - I would like to be more physically fit. My upper body strength has deteriorated immensely. Advice-wise, I'm not sure there's anything out of the obvious or ordinary...
I heard from Someone what you can’t change don’t let it affect you, I’m trying to use it but I find it very difficult to work for me. If ten get upset about family or work issues that I can’t really change them so will see if in a year’s time I have managed to improve
Same as last year: getting out from under the semi-paralysis of living in constant fear. It's extra challenging during a pandemic and a time of political chaos and uncertainty when there are many legitimate reasons to be terrified. (Did I ever nail it last year when I wrote that I didn't think this year was going to be kinder or safer! Sometimes I hate being right.)
Hating your body, being disgusted by it so much so that you don't look down when you're out of the shower, you wish there were no mirrors in the house, you delete all photos of you, and you dread putting on clothes that no longer fit - it's exhausting. I no longer know or recognise my body. I can't see a frock and be sure it will look good on me. I don't know what happened to my arms - they look like slabs of fatty pork. My body repulses me, and it is destroying my sense of self. I have a year, and I want this issue tamed.
I always hope to come to terms with self acceptance, especially as I age. To accept that bodies change, that it’s okay if I don’t always sleep well and know I can make up for it; to be appreciative of all my many blessings and to share my strengths with others.
I would like to get more fit. We've been doing COVID for awhile, and I haven't totally quit working out, but I haven't really been doing weight training (because I haven't been to the gym). I should think on getting a bench and squat set so I can work out at home.
Eat more veggies. Find more good ways to mitigate stress in my life. :)
More healing. Less anger. Better jump on the fall holidays.
First, I'd like to strengthen my fragile sense of self-confidence and believe in myself more. Next, I want to continue to take the initiative to create the elements I want to have more of in my life (e.g., deeper friendships, satisfying work), even when I have to push the boundaries of what seems possible. And finally, I would like to learn to better accept the messiness of life and not be such a perfectionist.
I hope to improve my kindness, calmness, and inner presence. Last year i met some extraordinary people guiding me towards my aims.
Time goes fast. Whenever things feel horrible or wonderful it is good to remember that!
I would like to stay calmer and take the ups and downs in stride. I do not have to be perfect. Jack Kornfield and Dan Harris 10% Meditation has great guidance and counsel on this and are my Go To for help.
I’d like to travel more next year, with a few awesome vacations of at least a week. Definitely one should be a tour of the Utah National Parks with Eileen. Some advice I heard that I liked is about being present in life rather than thinking about what you’d rather be doing. Be present.
I'd like to become kinder. After my father's death I developed a sharp tongue to keep others away, and eventually I just turned it into something a little more social. I think I've thought of cattiness as humorous, and treasured my dark, cynical sense of humor, but a little bitterness goes a long way. It would be good to monitor my speech more, for starters. Less profanity, less trash talking. The only one who hears 95% of my bitterness is my long-suffering husband, but I think I might be poisoning my stupid soul. My sweet Mormon neighbors will [probably also appreciate it if I stop cursing so much.
Let go of any and old baggage from the past man that treated me wrong. Be strong in myself to trust people until they prove otherwise. Just be content in my life right now. I have a beautiful life so far.
Learn how to use personal boundaries! I need to be able to say "That is not acceptable to me." I don't have to force people to accept my boundaries; I just need to honor and respect them. And if that means walking away, staying away, or just taking a recess, that is what I need to learn to do. Self-care and self-love. I need to learn to love and forgive myself. I don't have that much longer on this beautiful planet to savor, enjoy, and just feel the wonder and beauty of all that God has given me and us. I want to remain an "I" but within a much larger "We".
After the last two years of Chaos. I know a few things more deeply than I used to. Do not take ANYTHING for granted. Anything. Not just as a saying or anecdote. But seriously every moment from now moving forward I will make the choices that enrich my life and the lives of loved ones and the world. I will choose to seek out happiness. Actively love my loved ones. Do all the things! They may not be here later. You may not be here later. Do. All. The. Things.
I want to be healthy in body and spirit. I want peace of mind...I meditate...I try each day not to let the negative ego voice and voices take hold but at the moment(and I know that this too shall pass) I am in physical pain and it affects my thoughts...I have to continue with inner strength.
Be calmly active and have a regular schedule to train to be so. Advice: rest, rest, do not take on another project.
As usual, I would like to lose weight. I don’t have high expectations, but I am going to try to stick to the calorie limit method. It seems to be the only method that works for me. I guess this is a lifelong decision. I see it as necessary for my heart health for the rest of my life. So today Sarma preached a sermon on cooperating with the Holy Spirit. It basically released us from effort on our parts. I mean I will have to put forth effort with the idea of the Holy Spirit gave me. So I have an idea to work on my blog again where I can practice writing my idea for a book called, “confessions of a recovering racist.” It will definitely have to be the Holy Spirit if anything comes out of this idea. I haven’t worked on the blog since probably 2010. I know it’s still there. So if it is the Holy Spirit, then I will find time to work on it. I’ll be less drawn to K dramas which has used up most of my free time for the past 2 1/2 years.
I’d like to be more giving and thoughtful of others.
Take on more responsibility- communal responsibility perhaps? Let my kids do more for themselves- as my husband always tells me!
As always, be kinder to myself. Again and again and again. Forever. Kiss Marta all of the time. Spend more time in quiet moments. Create things, don't do a million things at once. Rest more. Allow myself to rest.
I'd like to practice acting more sure of myself. I always feel so inadequate. The pandemic has made it worse - not being able to socialize or to make new friends makes it hard to feel great about myself. A very old piece of advice, long before this past year, is to "act as if:" Act as if I am confident, or smart, or accomplished, or whatever. Eventually I will start feeling that way.
I would like to be more confident. I think I need to trust myself more, or at least that’s what my wife says. And she’s right. I have good instincts and good people around me. I can be confident in my decisions.
No irritations and quarrels
If I'm not to be full time employed, then I need to volunteer somewhere. I really did enjoy working with my kindergarteners this year and I'd like to do something like that again--helping them with reading or math. Or helping high school students with their writing. My sister is constantly full of "good" advice but I mostly tune her out. Be positive. Think positive thoughts. I try but I often follow the path downward. Will work on that.
I feel that I am grounded in a place of improvement each day as I maintain a spiritual practice. This is the cornerstone and foundation of my life that I am always building upon for the future. The advice or counsel from the past year has come through direct experience of daily devotion. So keep on keeping on I’d say.
I would like to be less lazy. I don't mean exercise more (though that wouldn't be bad), I mean all the procrastinating, all the "play on-line solitaire until I win one", all the "read all my e-mails - including all the newsy things that all say the same thing" kind of stuff. Stop thinking about getting involved, and fucking DO IT. Stop talking about clearing shit out of the house, and fucking DO it! Most of the counsel I've gotten this past year relates to retirement - give yourself time, grace, don't jump into anything right away. I have to fight AGAINST that counsel. It's way too easy for my to sink into that and get stuck.
I would like to have more friends as opposed to acquaintances
I would like to have a better balance between work and home. The advice I got before this year was about figuring out what "balls" in your life are glass and plastic. Figure out which priorities are "glass", and which you can afford to drop.
I would like to improve myself by making more time for growth again. I've done this many times in my life and after a lot of moving around and big activities I'm getting in a more settled place where I will have the time and space. I'd particularly like to find an indigenous path on which to get back on and study.
Listen to the wisdom of my body. Look for what sparks joy in my life. Remember that God wouldn't have put me here if She didn't think I could do it.
My therapist tells me that I need to develop more compassion for myself. It needs to go beyond sticking Post-it notes everywhere with cutesy little mantras. It’s an ongoing process requiring deep introspection. If I can truly treat myself like a dear friend who sometimes needs a hug, a cheer, or a shoulder or cry on, I can develop deeper, meaningful relationships and connections.
I would like to set better boundaries with less fuss, to reduce my stress. I don't need to go into gory detail and make someone excuse me from activities when it's all too much. I just need to decline when I need to decline. I need to make sure I get my needs met and Rob gets his needs met, not that I am meeting his needs by sacrificing my own. It's doable.
I'd like to spend a bit less time stressed about working. Things will work out and you don't need to worry about work while you are off on the weekend. There's not a lot that can mess up the trajectory that you are on.
This year I read the book 'Atomic Habits' and I have been attempting to put it into practice in my life. The idea is that it's not the big, extreme, cold-turkey type changes (that I have tried to make in the past) that change your life. It is the tiny atomic level habits that you practice day to day that will build and build over time into transformational change. I am starting with being conscious of my habits, blocking out my time and noticing when and why I do things and then changing one little thing at a time. This is the third week in a row I have been up and starting my day at 6am for work. I have been checking my calendar and planning my day, and this morning I added yoga to my routine as well. Tiny consistent and manageable changes that will build into the life that I want.
I would like to be more confident in myself, more forgiving of myself, and more forthcoming (honest, upfront) in my relationships. At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire. Guilt is not a mitzvah. If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting the rest of our lives. You got this, whatever this is.
I would like to improve myself and my life by things that are probably not in my control, not a good recipe for success. I would like for the health of my feet to improve as it obviously affects me every day. My life is good and will hopefully continue on this path, particularly if the country and world can get Covid under control.
I want to remember that in order to improve one cannot be normal. Normal is sitting and doing nothing. Normal is doing the same thing over and over. Getting up and meditating each day is extraordinary. Exercising regularly is extraordinary. Reading and being curious is extraordinary. I want to embrace being extraordinary rather than accepting being normal. This line of thinking is from JoshTerryPlays on tiktok. He seems like a smart guy and what he said spoke to me so I'll run with it.
Your Answer 2020. There are four areas of self-care: Sleep Healthy Eating Exercise Creativity to spark Joy - engaging in writing Put the tech away at 10 pm - wind down for an hour and make sleep a sacred experience Schedule exercise and make a menu to eat well. Continue my writing. Set up a project to work towards - as in All of a Kind Family. All of these goals remain incomplete and remain focus for this next year.
The constant reminder to make the moments count. Never more 'underlined' than now in Covid. We say the words, but do we actually live them. I REALLY want to make the moments count. So looking forward, ..... "invest in your debt", meditate, lose weight, really find the balance between working life & life.. and charge forward without fearing. Become clear re the things you want to make happen. Put a time line to them .. and go for it.
Enjoy every moment, travel to see friends and family, find ways to hike again.
Don't stumble over something behind you!
I would like to lose weight again, whether that's with Slimming World or on my own using the SW plan. I need to do this for many aspects of my health as well as how I feel about myself.
This year I’m aiming to get better control of my diabetes, and my health in general. I’ve been focused on image in the past and I’d like to switch the focus to health and well-being instead. I made the terrifying decision that I’d like to have kids some day and that means taking care of myself and getting my blood sugar under control and getting that perfect HbA1c that I’ve always dreamed of… I can’t think of any advice that will help me, but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not alone in this…
I would like to be more compassionate
pay attn to the things you claim to care about. and put your money where your mouth is.
I think.just having a better relationship with food and not binge eating. I think finding myself more in control of my implusive self and just more level and moderate.
Work harder on practicing gratitude and letting go of negative influences -even if that includes "friends". "There is a long line of health related benefits to being grateful."
Improve my life: find someone to love, hopefully to be with for the rest of it. Improve my work: stop waiting for perfection and running from the merely very good. Improve my health: exercise regularly. Get up from the computer, even when it's important and productive; get away from the tv, even when it's amusing or meaningful. Get up! Get out! Get going!
Pandemic-era stress had seriously deflected me from a course I had established. I would like to find my way back to that.
Perhaps just a re-framing of an old problem: be more attentive to and focused on others rather than myself. This applies to so many parts of my life.
I would like to continue improving as a husband and begin my new career so I am able to help contribute to our home and improve our financial wellbeing.
I would like my right brain to be less dominated by my left brain. A lot less dominated.
I want to invest more of myself into the things I love instead of putting them off and making excuses, I think if I can let go of my idea of how things must look and embrace how they can be, I could be more happy and fulfilled on a daily basis. I think the best advice I could give my future self is to keep going, and to not try to do everything all at once but to try to do as much as you can where you are at. Once you can do more, do more!
There’s a restless similarity in my answers to these questions year after year, even though they have been different each year based on that year’s circumstances. I’d like to report some tangible progress to myself by this time next year. I want to be able to state: I did “X” to combat my isolation and loneliness. Or “I have played the piano regularly” and /or I have lost # lbs. Or I have established a routine of laying my iPad/iPhone/ iMac aside 1 day a week etc.
to grow deeper with Yeshua and follow his command to love another as he loves us. When asked which commandment is greatest, he responds (in Matthew 22:37): “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind…the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Following these two Mitzvot are the key to living a godly life and that pleases ADONAI. Your relationships will grow and your career and business will be successful in more ways than you could even imagine!
Slow down, fully, mindfully engage in the present moment with whomever I am sharing it with at that time . A foundation of Yoga
I would like to finally settle in a lane in my career: in order for me to actually be successful, I have to transition from the job I "fell into". And I want to make that a reality.
I always want to become a better parent. Chill out more. Find old me a bit. A friend said a few weeks ago that I need to lose the parent guilt. She’s right. I’d love to. No idea how though.
I like to restore my health and stamina so I could enjoy the sun ☀ and out an have fun also I would like to teach for room and board.
Call friends more. Call old friends more. Call family more. I see a trend. I am increasingly isolated, perhaps because of COVID... I'm not sure. I must begin to climb out of this stagnation regarding being with and communicating with friends and family. In more than one setting (a book, article, YouTube) I have read that human connections are vital to good health. That should guide me to action.
I would like to keep working on being accepting of and grateful for my body and focusing on getting stronger, not skinnier. When I was actively trying to count calories and lose weight earlier this year, it was not good for my mental health. I want to get away from diet culture and focus on accepting myself as I am, extra pandemic weight and all. If I am eating healthy most of the time and working out regularly, that's the most important thing, not what the scale says.
Joy happens in community. Joy does not come from personal and private activity. To find joy I must be in relationships.
I will improve my life, after I'm on my on, and my divorce is final. Therapy is always a good idea.
Motion is Lotion. If you want to be able to keep moving you have to schedule some active time each day.
Having experienced the deaths of my father-in-law, my uncle, (and the drowning of my friend Rose's young dog, Gracie, in a flooded stream), in the past year, I have been thinking more of the finiteness of life. I have been trying to experience and appreciate all the small pleasures and beauty of everyday life. I hope to remember that, especially now, as I approach age 70, there is much to enjoy and little time to waste on negativity.
Lose weight and not feel frustrated,depressed,lonely or bitter too often!
I'm not aware of any recent "improvement" advice. I owned/ran a women's clothing manufacturing business from the time I was 21 until I was 53 when I sold it. In 1995 I was trained as an interviewer in Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation project and the business had been a nice "living" but I recognized the interviews and connections and friendships I made as a wonderful and rich "life". But I've wandered… In my business, I learned very early on that the best way to achieve change (in process or procedure or position) was to sell my mission or vision in such a way that the employe or buyer or seller got to discover and "own" the idea as their own. All our lives would be better in a more "temperate", less angry world. I haven't yet figured out how to "sell" the resisters. Our country is overflowing with petulant terrifying individuals who DO admit to resisting anything they feel is NOT their idea. I feel victimized and threatened but determined to forge ahead for as long as possible…that IS the best revenge….right?
Be more gentle with myself, and allow more rest. Do less. There are many kinds of rest, and we need them all.
All is well. Think deeply about what that means. Is it conditional? Is God’s love conditional? What about death? Is that wellness? All things work together for good, but only for those who serve the Lord I guess. (How could we not serve the Lord? Doesn’t everything serve the Lord?) All is well. All is well. All mater of things are well. I would like to have more faith
Creativity: I'd like to be working at least 50% of the time in a creative realm that pays me or at least gives me that much opportunity to exist half-time in a creative space. Relationship: I have been on a few dates with someone this past month, and I look forward to having it grow into something beautiful, even if that is simply a lot of learning. I am dating someone unlike anyone I've dated in the past, and I am a different person that I have been, bringing a great deal more to a relationship.
Oh so many ways. Personally I'd like to learn and learn more skills so I can find another job when I'm ready. Yes, from a colleague and I've taken her advice!
I would like to feel stronger and healthier. Daily meditation, stretching, and walking help me feel better - so make time for them each day!
I want to get back into my varied plant-based diet again, and back to cutting down on my refined sugar! I went off the rails this past couple of months.
I would like to get away from focusing on my weight and just learning to like my body again. It has been YEARS that I have been trying to lose like 10-15 lbs and it has not budged. My new goal is to be happy, be active (and not gain any more) but also to learn to love my body the way it is. No more crazy diets or restricting calories or exercise programs I don't like. I am walking because I like that best, especially while listening to podcasts, and eating healthy (am mostly vegan) and heading into menopause knowing it's ok to not look like I did when I was in my 20s.
Stop doing shit that you hate.
I just wanna . . . BE. I don't want to worry about improving myself, rather my frame of mine about who/what I already AM. Who I am, where I am, when I am. My identity, my socio-economic status, my living situation. I want to just be, in my aging body, in my house, in my choices. Accept that I am not a clean freak, I am not an athlete, I am not ambitious. I am not destined to visit a ski lodge cabin or take a yacht trip. I am not going to look like "peloton 50." That doesn't mean I don't want to improve things (she said as she moaned over her once again sore rotator cuffs). But I want to focus more on my attitude. OWN my shit and even be a bit smug about it. I'm musical, messy, arty, lazy, smart, thoughtful. I like making a mess in the kitchen, I am surrounded by whatever project I'm doing, I do not like putting my clothes away. I want to wake up and read with a cup of coffee, not go to the gym at 6:00 am. You'd think at 50 I would have accepted who I am! My counsel . . . just people I see out there who own who they are, confidently.
A relationship + a golf game. The counsel I have gotten is to not overplan. Get up every day and move forward!
I'd like to go back to my regular life of traveling a lot and working on projects. I fell pretty far into a funk of baking, anime, and Reddit... which doesn't make me feel accomplished in my personal life whatsoever. My boyfriend told me to go back to it and he'd catch up when he could, which was probably the most encouraging thing. I'd been waiting around for him to join me, which we both realized wasn't going to happen on the regular.
I want to make better use of my time, as I have been in recent months. Sitting around and fretting actually helps the bastards win. You don't need to keep malicious people in your life just because they've been there for a long time. If they're not in your life, they need to be out of your brain, too. How's today looking? Is the thing you're dreading NOT going to happen today? It's probably not, so just go ahead and TCB. I understand this now more than ever. I'm not the target of anyone's bad intentions right now; the people close to me are good people, and I'm just not important enough to be targeted by anyone outside of this circle. And the number of people I've felt compelled to remove from this circle is extremely small, and I simply don't need to ask myself what's become of them after I've removed them. Personal growth and flourishing is a matter of daily practice, and assigning arbitrary mile markers to assess your progress doesn't help. You assess your progress when you finish a task or close a chapter. I should not be filling out this survey. You probably shouldn't, either. If you are assessing your progress in the middle of your progress, you're going to feel inadequate; you're not going to have good perspective. Y'know your crappy boss who would ask you to report on your progress with a project not because you were at a sensible place to report on it, but because it was "the proper time?" You're doing the same thing to yourself. Right this moment. Don't run yourself off the track here.
Earn decent money, expand my possibilities, travel, find inspiration, improve my physical help. keep doing my therapy, meet inspiring people. Find out who am I, who really am I. Follow my gut and appreciate my analytic mind. Feel my body, always listen to my body, it tells so much.
I want to feel more comfortable being who I am. I like who I am, and I mostly accept it, but I still feel this little frisson about being alone/not lonely, going against the crowd (wearing a mask, among other things). It was comforting recently when my friend said (at age 70) that she still doesn't know what she wants to do with her life either!
It sounds cliché but my auntie Ingrid (96) told me to live while I'm young. I hope by this time next year I maybe have learned to do that but also I hope I've learned to slow down. To breathe while I'm young. Saunter more, run less.
I need to get my blood sugar and my finances under control.
This past year has been a really challenging one for maintaining a connection to spirituality. In this coming year, I want to be more connected to Jewish time, to live more in shabbat, and to find people to live in Jewish community with.
I will spend more time expanding my brain, less time whittled away on devises.
Lots of little pieces of advice and counsel. Need to not let my confidence be tied to my current mental/emotional state. And the more I find my confidence in HaShem and everything He provides me with, the better that state will be anyway.
I've been a fear warrior in this past year, but I'd like to become even more fierce for myself! I'd like to share my thoughts and needs clearly and fight for them if necessary. This year I would like to continue to strengthen my home yoga practice. I'd also like to have a clearer, stronger voice.
I was recently told that I should be in a different major than the one I'm in. It wasn't an insult, an instructor genuinely enjoyed my work and believed I could excel in a different program. At this point in my college career, however, a major change/double major is simply not possible if I'm to graduate on time. I guess my mission to improve will be with my writing, learning how to properly cultivate my voice and use it to express myself in the freest way possible while still being proud of my work.
My main goal, of course, is the same as every year because of the curse Vicki put on me when I left the Jewish Board. And that is to finally get a goddamn job where I'm not miserable and that will only end when I leave voluntarily.
My subconscious gave me some advice last night, in a dream. In the dream I was attempting to listen to people at a gathering, like a party. They were relating anecdotes, and I could see their lips move, but I couldn't hear them. As in life, sometimes, my hearing seemed as if I were underwater. I recently had a sinus surgery to remove a large amount of growths of cartilage that were blocking access to my airways. I had hoped that removing the cartilage would also alleviate some of the hereditary hearing loss I've been diagnosed with, of which one of the symptoms is constant tinnitus. But I want to be able to hear "normally." I think the counsel my subconscious is giving me is to embrace all the conditions of my aging body, including however much hearing loss I have experienced and will continue to experience in the future. The truth is, I am at the party. I'm here. I'm very lucky. Each time I remember this, and also remember that the one law that governs all others in our religion is "love God," I am free to live. Loving God with my whole heart, mind, and strength will improve my condition always, because there is only one God. One true existence. I listened to Paul Estrich last night, though. He believes in The Little People, dragons, and other inexplicable parts of human experience. I feel it is a misconception that One True Existence somehow rules out the existence of spiritual forces that dwell here, with us. All of us are part of one true existence. I can remember the particularity of my life, my treasures and losses, while loving God. It is very difficult to remember to love God. My conscious advice to myself? Love God. This entails remembering that my entire existence is inseparable from God. The Christians have claimed Saul of Tarsus as their own, since he became a follower of a posthumous Jesus, but Saul's knowledge that there is no force that can separate us from the love of God is Jewish knowledge. Only God is God. God is good, all the time, along with all the other true and difficult statements we can make about God.
I want to listen more, and reduce jumping to conclusions. Advice - inwardly turn towards my own pain
Yes I would. Make good use of your time but be gentle with yourself.
I want to try treating myself with more respect. Recognizing the limits I have, acknowledging and being proud of my strengths, asking for help when I need it, etc. As for advice, I don't think this was told to me this past year, but I've been living more and more by it and it means a lot to me. My psychiatrist told me, "You deserve to feel better than okay."
I worried about social chaos last year. As I write Idaho is rationing hospital beds because of COVIDIOTS. Shocking and disgusting that immoral jerks are causing decent people to be denied health care. We need to keep saying, put them at the back of the line. Treat moral people first. The core problem is the total spineless nature of the Democrats in confronting social problems. Virus rages, climate chaos rages, fires rage, storms rage, and assholes like Biden refuse to do what they must, eliminate the filibuster and pass really progressive legislation. I predict more social chaos.
I want to keep working my program of recovery... that's what I said last year and that's where I'm at again. Notable at the moment is a new sponsor and a new practice of outreach/fellowship, but that's detail on the real answer, which is, stay actively in recovery.
Continuing to try and calm down. Got diagnosed with cptsd this year and it's been incredibly hard to re-frame my life and mental health progress with that in mind. I do feel like its helped though to know -- i can work on things that will help in the long term. I do feel like im making progress and getting healthier. It's really hard though. and I wonder if other people are hitting realizations / breaking points with all the pandemic stress and learning things like this about themselves.
Exercise. Ffs, I have a gym and I don't use it. I spend a lot of time thinking about it and don't do it which is really frustrating. I also try to make sense of why I'm not doing it, which is getting me nowhere.
Always check in with yourself to see how full your cup is and when it is empty as for help or find ways to fill it. It is ok to be worn down, you are not superwoman and not expected to be one. You are a great mom. Continue to make the best choice you can make and to not obsess. When obsessing stop putting all your anxiety on other people. Parenting is hard. It is alright to acknowledge it but not always healthy to obsess. Trust your gut and analyze logically not emotionally. Get to the root of your mood and communicate that to Alex rather than get defensive. Tell the people you love that you love and appreciate them, often. Be present, life is not a checklist. Less fear more trust.
I feel like I need a complete reboot. What comes to mind as areas to improve are things that seem to be perpetually on my list. This time I will focus on being more physically active. It impacts so much else. Exercise burn calories, tones muscles, builds strength, releases stress, clears one's head and thoughts, and provides structure. These work together for overall health and can improve sleep through a "honest tired" from getting things done. Physical activity shifts focus from problems for a while, and upon reengaging often results in a fresh perspective and a solution. Advice: Move yourself, and you move your mind.
At 84 I'm quite comfortable with myself and very fortunate in that I'm having a good life, with good health, loving friends and a continuing curiosity about almost everything. But, there's still room for improvement, particularly in physical activity and exercise. This past year I think the advice that best sticks with me is summed up in the statement - 'It is what it is'. We need to accept that illusion deludes and recognize - reality rules.
I'd like to get past my "OMG no more medical appointments pretty please with sugar on top gonna hide in my room now" PTSD reactions. My eyes and teeth deserve that much.
I would like to get a counselor and psychiatrist to help me when it’s obvious I cannot help myself. I want to learn to take better care of me as I’ve been brushing it off for years. I’ve spent so much time focusing on others before I focused on myself and that’s going to change. At the end of the day, I matter.
The greatest improvement I could offer myself this next year is acceptance. Whether accepting myself as I am, others as they are, or the world as it is, I grant myself greater freedom. The greatest freedom of all is love. Isn't this the "will" of God?
Reduce the internal chatter. Set goals for each day.
I want to work on my riding as a concrete goal I can work towards and a way to get back in shape. I think it will be good for my confidence and hopefully also a good spark towards a healthier lifestyle. I’d tell last year’s me that while it’s important to honour where you’re body is at, there is eventually a point where you have to start pushing forward again.
Take it easy. Always prioritize my own health and happiness. Go easy on myself- things are exactly how they should be. Everything happens for a reason.
I think I'd give myself the advice of just keep being confident, keep being you. Stop looking around at other people and comparing yourself. While wishing you were at a different place in life, just remember to keep enjoying the life you're living right now. Embrace new opportunities, new connections. Live YOUR life.
I need to be on my way or in a relationship that is healthy and respectful. I'm currently reading Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. I think that could at the very least be interesting and enlightening.
Learn to LISTEN to people more and shut my mouth. Abe Lincoln said "better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
The first thing that comes to mind is that in some ways my OCD has increased in the last couple of years and I got great feedback from my Akashic Records reader to work on closing out patterns as opposed to continuously looping things thought--> compulsive action--> etc. Like, just STOP. Which sound much like when Alex told me 2 weeks ago at coffee, "If you don't eat and gain weight for yourself, do it for your parents." Ah, YEAH, if I could have done these things, sometime in the past 44 years I would have gotten on that. But I do want to work on habit loops and when I told Alex the disorder is basically passive suicide I realized I happen to love my life so Imma keep doing things that keep me here... physically yes but also mentally.
It's that Joe Dispenza talk that I watched along with Nick Tillia's guidance and support along with my own willingness to take my expansion by the reigns and go for it no holds bar (con los dos cojones as the Spanish say) - the point that I am love, I am enough, I am one of with God and I don't need to do anything to have this. I already am it, trust that when I relax, disconnect to digi and connect to myself my gut and intuition start speaking. Following those pushes and nudges is me coming into the next version of myself. My connection to god and the ease of my life in full expression is what I want to improve about myself and my life.
I haven't cried in years though I would like to be able to do so. I'm going to try to be more in touch with my feelings, my body and my emotions by working on meditation skills and mindfulness. I would like to be more direct and honest with people. Not everyone though. There are some people that will refuse to listen to me. And I will try to accept that because if one is unable to listen, they are unable to hear anyway. But I will value those people who allow me to be honest with them and are honest with me.
make every day count chill on your ego
Walk at least five times at least five minutes a day. Keep your foot straight ahead. Write, play the piano, swim, eat well. Play pickle ball. Do your pt exercises.
I want to strengthen my body. I want to let go of needless and destructive worry and what-ifs. I want to free my creativity in any direction I care to pursue. Becoming dangerously ill and developing an intimate acquaintance with my mortality has given fuel to these things, moving them from idle wishes to active pursuits.
Fuck improving myself. There was a time when I would have loved this question but now I see the shame inherent in it. It says, "you're not enough - good enough, etc." Yes, there are skills I'd like to get better at, but I think a better question would be 'how are you seeing life these days?' That is, how do I see myself and how do I see others? I used to have a general feel-good optimism about the world and after the last two years I can see that it was based on a lot of unconsciousness and privilege. Now I feel stuck. I feel angry. Angry about the unmasked, the unvaccinated, the people who litter, the people who don't want my trans kid to be trans, the people who separate families at the border ... my list can seem endless. Not next year, but right now, how can I learn to be of this world and not embittered by it? Is there any advice that could guide me? I don't have a quote or mantra in mind but I'm almost certain it has to do with serving others.
Don’t take anything personally… The advice; you are not that important that everything is about you…haha
Avoid people be closer to the nature
I want to get back my feelings of compassion and empathy. ow, with the tyranny of anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers, I'm so tired of being held hostage to their selfishness that I no longer care what happens to them. I don't like feeling this way, but can't seem to shake those feelings.
I'm a bit worse off than last year, to be honest. I've gained weight and am more burned out due to working so much and looking after my child with little help from his father. I have to stay strong and optimistic and hope that I can right this ship that's currently slightly off course.
I want to be more authoritative, more decisive. General executive function has been a bit poor. Procrastination is having a more direct and immediate negative, pervasive, and consistent impact on my quality of life than acting impulsively ever did. The relevant advice would be to carpe the f*cking diem, be kinder to myself ( no, even kinder than that, c'mon dude ), and invest more heavily in a sustainable routine. In a completely unprecedented twist, I'm kind of in a state of mind of being willing to take more and scarier risks in the "relationship sphere". I, improbably and serendipitously and possibly with a sense of optimism bordering on unhinged, have something perfect right now. Not the perfect person, but the perfect person For Me. I REFUSE to f*** it up.
Finance!!! Will I ever stop spending compulsively?? I haven't received advice but I haven't asked for help either. I know that going back to debtors anonymous would help. Also, selling my condo if that will ever be possible.
Reconnect with family and friends. That will get me back to my baseline, so it's not an overall improvement. Beyond that, I commit to improving my physical health by getting back to the gym on a regular basis, and to improving my mind by reading some of the magnificent books that are stacked up and waiting for me. Advice to guide me came from my university mentor years ago, "just get started."
I want to practice more motion, and less dithering. Every step provides more information on the overall path ahead. I don't have to have an answer or a plan fully-formed to start taking action in a direction that I want to travel.
Recognize joy when you are in it. Rituals. Relax. Exercise. Loving reminders. Figure out what works, but remember what works changes! Get started on SOMETHING. This will lead to other things. Don't get stuck.
On the pure physicals side, I'll be getting a replacement for my front tooth, and for my 20 year old breast implant. Hopefully, both will last the rest of my life. Still plugging away at Spanish, a little every day. Staying with Mario and Lineth really helps, but Cesar has been no help at all. Good at other things, however. Advancing from Xi Gong to Tai Chi with my new teacher on Sunday mornings. Jan would approve. Luc Tung Kung has been good for balance, but I need to get back into yoga somehow.
A piece of advice/counsel that I received though life experiences from this past year that can guide me: DON'T react so strongly to what other people say!!! DON'T believe everything you hear from other people's mouths. DON'T self-destruct your body, mind, and spirit over lies, falsehoods, and straight-up ignorance. It's not worth letting someone ruin your day/rest of your life inside your mind. It's okay to walk away, hang up the phone, and even defend yourself from people who are giving you shit. You don't need to take it from anyone. Just know that you are ALIVE, so stay that way, okay? How I'd like to improve myself and my life next year: be a better providing daughter for my family. Spend as much time with my family as possible. I'd like to improve my eating habits and overall physical health. I would also like to improve on my mental/emotional health by not taking anything that happens around me personal. I also want to overcome a couple of addictions (not drug related) and the addiction of chasing after people for the sake of having a "relationship." I hope I can be finally satisfied with being single and living a happy, healthy life.
I continue to strive to be more tolerant. I learn in small increments how to accomplish this and need to practice those more and more. It's about resetting your inner dialog from what I can figure out. Decades of doing things one way is hard to alter and will probably take decades to turn, but doesn't mean you don't try!
Lose weight so I can be here for my family, somehow reduce this inner anxiety that increases every year. Possibly borderline depression at times - why I have no idea. No one gives me advice because everyone holds us up as a shining example of living life to the fullest given we never complain about caring for our disabled son Jared for almost 42 years. TODAY we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary with a renewal ceremony on the Bimah with Jason, Adam, Elyse, twins and the rabbi. (Covid restricted) also ZOOM. We had a wonderful week in Philly with more celebrating. Siblings are getting up there in age, Sandi and I are both the youngest (by far) and we’re grateful we’re all still alive and relatively well. L’Chiam.
I’ve improved my GERD (got clean endoscopy on August 3) , but would like to minimize overnight eating, have less stress, and reduce stress. No specific advice or counsel guides me, other than general mainstream advice.
I would like to be able to juggle being an author and being a parent, where when I'm a mom I'm 100% but when I'm an author I'm 100% too. The best piece of advice I've received in the past year is to ask for support and take any absolutely any support that is offered.
Just don't waste time on worrying about the future. Or the past, either. Plus, stop worrying. What does it serve? Will things go easier at the dentist if only you worry enough beforehand? Can you fix things you did in the sixties, seventies, eighties, etc. by worrying enough? Let's just say, you've already worried about that, and let it go. Okay? Let it go.
I intend to deepen my listening practices, to expand awareness and embodiment of my natural state of Radiance, and to continue accessing learning and community opportunities that support healing for ALL of Life on Earth.
Keep figuring out where your personal boundaries are in regard to the people around you.
“There’s no better day than today to make magic! “ I’m feeling pretty sure then I’m going to find the joy in every day and that there really isn’t any “improvement” to be made, just may be more trusting that things are going right as planned and with every experience I find more clarity on my path.
I want to re-evaluate what "has" to be done and remember that I can stay in control of the pace of my life
I don't know how to improve my life. I'm just trying not to feel defeated, with my mother ailing, climate change causing all sorts of natural disasters, the ongoing pandemic, polarization both politically and around things like vaccines that should not be controversial, successful disinformation campaigns, etc. In the past year I have written literally over a thousand letters in a get-out-the-vote campaign in an attempt just to stop things from getting worse, but it feels like such a small drop in the bucket.
I’d like to lose weight and be better fit for when my son grows up!
Words of wisdom for my future self: figure out how managing screen time can ACTUALLY WORK for all of us.
I'd would like to improve myself by having less days of negative thinking. Maybe, I could give meditation more of a chance than I previously had done. And hopefully, the negativity will ease a bit.
Drink water. Accept help when offered. Take care of yourself. Say no … sometimes. Send cards to friends. Send letters to the Editor. Send letters to government representatives.
Listen more. Focus on what's important. Talk less.
I want to be more independent. Have my own place, pay my own bills, cook my own food. There is a lot I have to do in order to achieve that and I'm willing to do the work.
Just have a positive outlook on life.
Same as always… Everything works out for good. You just need to have patience. I know that getting angry is not the best motivator. However it is the SOP. After I calm down, I realize that, yes, what I am upset about is valid. I would like to be able to transition into problem-solving. It’s like an arc; there is an injustice, like getting cheated out of money from family, I get angry at them, I am dismissed, then I get depressed because I feel foolish that I trusted them, when I look at strategies as how to recoup my money. Intikam!
This will be my last year in this term on council. Whatever happens a few years hence, when I can run again, I have two years with no elected office responsibilities. So my goal this year is to determine a path forward. Not a goal because I don't have enough information to be that focused, but a set of priorities to help me live a good life. One new thing in the mix: find a way to understand our new financial situation.
more exercise, more patience towards others, relax,
I like my answer from last year, but would get more detailed by being more disciplined in diet, exercise and intention with my attention.
I would like to be more patient and take more time for self-care. I want to continue to grow in my disconnecting/unplugging practices and eliminating things from my life that do not serve me. I would also like to return to my exercise routine.
I think, like many people, I often get into a routine which may work for a time but not necessarily on-going. This year I switched things up by mainly ditching doctors and healers and listening more to my body and own intuition. My advice is to keep listening.
Be more spontaneous. Dance Like No One Is Watching Love As You've Never Been Hurt Sing Like No One Is Listening Love Like It's Heaven On Earth
I would like to continue my activity plan, and reach my goal mass. I would also like to finish the chakra class and at least one writing course.
I want to accept and let go. I have everything and everyone I need. I have so much joy. I am creating. I am in love.
I need to be more attentive to my health and Michael’s. My mother always made my father’s health her mission—and now that we can’t take the responsibility for our kids, I think we can show more concern and effort into one another’s overall well-being
Continue to move into equanimity. Ideally with BOB. The "piece of advice" is more than a year old, but worth repeating. "You never know what personal hell someone else is living through. Always be Kind, Always be Kind, Always be Kind."
I need to become somewhat slower to anger, and by "anger," I don't mean blowing up/shouting/doing anything physical. I mean passive/aggressive digs and not seeing the situation from the other person's standpoint. To do this, I need to take to heart the mantras/processes that come from two pretty disparate yet effective groups - the support group meetings I attend each week, and the workout instructors I follow online who promote using your breath as well as yoga to let go of negative thoughts, etc. It is all mental work, which in many ways is harder than physical work.
I would like to take care of myself more, and listen to my body and its limitations, especially as we are slowly coming out of the pandemic. This past year really taught me how to say no to things, and I want to continue to be able to do that.
Give in less to fear, stop overthinking everything Don't know apart from relying on God
Trust your gut, trust your feelings. Forgiveness and Gratitude.
The piece of advice that I would like to guide me is that I am not my work. I would like to improve myself by seeing myself as a whole human being and not just as my job. My value is not intrinsically tied to what I produce.
gam zeh ya'avor What are you willing to stop struggling to understand for the sake of peace? i have peace with my body and compassion for myself success is the ability to go from failure to failure with enthusiasm, failure is essential take things as they come, put energy into yourself and good friends will come from Katy: - when listening to people, hear what they are trying to express about their experience, how they see themselves, what they are telling me about their truth, instead of making it about myself or trying to fix the problem. ask questions, let them know what you notice. are they feeling powerless, devalued, disrespected, hopeless, frustrated? - compassion for anxiety as a coping strategy for a bigger feeling - coping: notice the coping mechanism, sit with it for a second, name the deeper feeling, investigate for more, where it is in the body, allow to feel that feeling, acknowledge the need for control, then distract or allocate a certain amount of time for that coping mechanism, and move on.
I'd like to turn more acquaintances into friends; I'd like to focus on retaining more of what I read.
I definitely want to be move observant. I think I say this every year. Since moving here, I haven't been to temple more than 5 times, since Covid shut everything down. I don't even feel the urge to watch on Zoom since I don't know anybody and I feel so disconnected. I have found a potential temple in Olympia so I've thought about just doing their Zooms, but I don't know. I don't have any advice that could help me with this....I don't know any other Jewish people here and I feel really isolated.
I'd like to take better care of my health. I'd like to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose, but in a healthy way. The best counsel I received this past year was from my therapist, who helped me to shed a lifetime of guilt. It's a wonderful thing to live without purposeless guilt. I'm not saying I don't have regrets; of course I do, but there is a big difference between regrets and guilt.
Same answer as last year - I want to continue keeping up with my fitness and improving on it. Continue with my regular yoga (maybe going to a class or two in person!) since that is serving me well. The whole concept of "functional fitness" that someone told me makes so much sense to me. It's not about looking a certain way but about using my body for a long time.
I would like to spend less of my time and brain space thinking about others and judging them. This comes from my own overthinking, so would be great to curb the habit regardless. If I have more empathy for others, I will have more for myself, and vice versa. The best advice I received this year was that 'the unknown is always scary' (from Ron). I can't control everything, and neither can others - we just respond to what we are given. So I might as well have a little more patience and empathy for that.
I would like to continue to make sustainable, incremental changes that support my health. This week I saw a nutritionist who recommended some dietary changes she feels could be very helpful in cleansing my liver and reducing inflammation, one change being to eliminate glutens. This is a very reasonable adjustment that could yield significant benefits. I've also reintroduced yoga to my exercise regimen and am working on easing up on other exercise expectations for myself (letting it go when swim gets rained out, not adding too much weight in strength classes). The nutritionists advice was "80/20," meaning, if I can follow this diet (or any health-related) plan 80% of the time, my body can adjust for the 20% of time I fuck it up.
Once again, I am not much interested in improving myself or changing myself. I'd like to continue to heal and continue on this journey of living every moment fully. Given this year's personal milestones of my brother in law's death and my brother's near death, I am committed to turning toward my siblings and being present more fully for them, sending them whole-hearted compassion and love and staying in close contact with them. Given my leg fracture, at my age, I am committed to doing what I can to be the strongest that I can be, now and into the future. This moment of walking on our trails and in our beloved woods might be my last time doing so. If that turns out to be true, I would like it not to be because I neglected my commitment to healing and building my strength. This feels like if not now, then never.
I would to live more purposefully and mindfully to avoid feeling regret later. Time is marching quicker and quicker with each passing year.
I’m would like to be more health focused and also less fearful and anxious. I know that almost every obstacle is smaller and less awful than I perceive it. I am not helpless. There is always some way I can make a change or an impact. All around me are doors and windows.
as friends wilt and die, becoming more aware and needing of the human connections I have, and want to keep them closer and more up to date each day. This did not come from any specific source....just from my personal experience and awareness of what is happening around me.
I would like to continue to deepen the allowing and pausing practices that took hold to guide me and others too. Less truly being more...and in this, cultivating trust and results in the area of creating a long term living situation that supports thriving mental and physical health for me, my family and world.
I have become more prone to procrastination since the onset of covid and our arrival in australia ... I need to break this habit this year before it becomes more ingrained
I want to get back in shape and work on my immune system. Regular exercise, attention to diet, and things like acupuncture. It is a blessing that Randy supports these endeavors, and will engage in some of them with me, without putting me under any pressure whatsoever. So different from Bob.
The same as last year, just learning to manage my anxiety better and to let myself rest (from people) when I need it. Apart from that, everything else is on track....
No specific advise but the last year taught me to take a breath before reacting to anything. Things happen for a reason. We can, and should, do our best, put our best efforts forward. At some point, we have to accept that all results are the way they are supposed to be, not the way we feel they should be
I tend to hang on too long to relationships, but once I'm done there's nothing for it but to never engage again. I'm trying to figure out if that's healthy. It has kept my marriage going but at the moment I'm not so sure that's a good thing. I thought finality was the problem but now I wonder if hanging on is. I would at least like to figure this out.
Keep up with the self care. Remember that prayer and meditation work. Remember you already have all the tools you need to maintain your composure and equanimity. Ask for help. Trust the process.
Still working on the communication thing. I aim to continue to improve by moderating myself to be less reactive and habitually strident - being mindful that one of the things that causes and reinforces polarisation is coming across as righteous and convinced. If I want to be truly of service, I need to be considered in expressing myself. Calm, neutral, faster on my feet , non-judgmental yet still authentic.
I'm still working on my physical health just like last year. This year I want to focus on clearing and beautifying my home environment. Also, getting back out into nature on a regular basis is a goal I'm having trouble getting momentum on - but it is so important. A year from now, I hope I can see a palpable difference in those two things.
I pray for the strength to become my truest authentic self.
The main thing I want to change, once my MA is over, is a greater focus on self-care and domesticity. I need to lose some weight — but that means more than just dieting and walking a bit more, it probably means a much wider assessment of how I live my life, how I care for myself, those I love, and the house I live in. I need to cook more, from scratch, like I always used to. I need to clean more often. I need to learn to enjoy exercise. I'm not cross with myself for letting things get this way — this year has been both grief and work-filled, so it's understandable that things have slipped, but once my studies are over, I need to make sure I turn things around.
Be softer with my kids, especially my elder son.
I still want to quit smoking. I want to hold to my ideals more firmly. I want to pursue my artistic leanings and develop useful skills pertaining to them. I want to develop a routine that encourages the betterment of self and pursuit of my dreams to become a published writer/poet.
I want improve myself according to live in joy and less in heavyness. No, I never have got any counsel or advice on this subject matter.
Always follow your heart because it’s the only way you’ll pursue what truly makes you happy. .. and don’t think too much
Fight the bipolar and become better at, well, everything!
If I can believe in myself enough to work on my art, and use all the supplies I seem to have hoarded through the year, I would impress myself and others with a dynamic come back. "Use it or Lose it" is not advice or counsel, just my negative mind reminding me that I could well be running out of time. I have been told by someone who knew me well, that I have a "Divine Spark" and to waste it would be a crime. It's all in the beginning.