How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
In the next year, I would like to improve my nervous system by giving it a freaking break! The past many years have been deeply stressful and I've run myself ragged at times trying to improve a workplace (or three) that has never cared about me back, to the point where I have neglected my own needs as well as my relationships. I am hoping to apply wisdom/counsel from the past several years to achieve this: how "it doesn't MATTER" (Marjorie), following my energy and letting it flow where it wants to (Molly), and remembering how beautiful, special, and important life is outside of work (Theo). This wisdom + being able to spend time outside at my new job will hopefully improve my overall wellbeing, most especially my nervous system.
I want to be more successful, actually accomplishing my goals. Are you the person you imagine yourself to be?
Trust myself for a change! Know what I believe, believe what I know. "Consilii satis est in me mihi!" (Metamorphoses 6.40). Considerably more guitar.
On retreat, I spent time thinking about how I want to live in my forties. I came away with four intentions for the decade: 1. cultivate softness 2. build the family of my dreams 3. use technology with intention 4. dance more often The one I’m most curious about is cultivating softness. I have spent a lot of my adult life strengthening myself. Learning how to tolerate pain, advocate for myself, communicate directly, create boundaries, confront fear, push through uncertainty, and pursue the things I want. Those qualities have served me enormously. I don’t want to lose them. But I think the next stage of my growth may be less about becoming stronger and more about becoming softer. I’m still figuring out exactly what softness means. Maybe it means being less self-critical when something goes wrong professionally. Maybe it means allowing Michael, my family, and my community to take care of me more. Maybe it means being gentler with myself when I’m tired, unproductive, scared, or unsure. And maybe it means finding more softness when conversations with Michael get tense, especially when one or both of us are emotionally activated. I don’t want directness or honesty to disappear, but I want to practice bringing less force into hard moments and leaving more room for curiosity and repair. The second intention is to build the family of my dreams. I don’t mean simply having more children. Michael and I have already invested an enormous amount of intentionality into making a family, and now I want to bring that same level of dreaming into how we actually live as one. One of the values we articulated before getting married was to “keep dreaming about what’s possible and going to get it.” That still feels like the assignment. If we want to live internationally for a period of time, then I want us to seriously explore it. If we want our kids to grow up bilingual or trilingual, then let’s build that into their lives. If we want service to be part of our family culture, then let’s volunteer together. If we believe boredom can help children develop resilience and creativity, then I want to resist filling every empty moment for them. I want to keep asking what kind of family life feels most alive, meaningful, adventurous, and true to us, and then have the courage to actually build it. I also want to use technology with more intention. Last year I wrote about wanting to “break up with my phone” before having kids. I made some progress, but this is clearly not a one-year project. I want Esti to grow up in a home where screens are tools rather than the background condition of our lives. And finally, I want to dance more often. This year I actually returned to a weekly dance class, which brought me a ton of joy. I signed up for a recital, went to rehearsals, and performed a hip-hop dance in front of a lot of people from my community who came to watch. It reminded me how much dancing gives me: playfulness, embodiment, performance, silliness, and joy. I want to keep that in my life. I don’t expect to accomplish these four things this year. They’re not really annual goals. They’re more like a compass for the decade I just entered.
Such a good question. I want peace, I want calm and quiet. I want, at 45, to be living closer to what feels right and whole for me. I have clues, now more than ever, about what that feels like, but less a sense of how to proceed with translating those feelings into reality. That perhaps is part of my challenge for the next year, and I hope I can answer the call.
I would like to continue to improve how I live a full and beautiful life with a chronic illness and chronic pain. I think I have been getting closer and closer to the life I want to live over the past several months, and I want to continue to build on that and really make sure I’m living my life as fully as possible within the constraints I have. There is so much advice I have started to internalize, but I think a lot of it comes down to realizing life is short and what do I want to do with the time I have.
I can’t think of any advice I’ve received that is guiding me, except to give myself some time to settle into retirement and trust that inspiration will come. That seems to be the abiding message to me. Also, I would like to have established a regular spiritual practice to help me be more present.
I think Kobe Bryant said it best, "You need to work in the dark to shine in the light."
Lift weights more often and get better and more fit at mountain biking. I also want to have a solid plan and timeline for our next house.
I want to find my center and be able to hold fast to it. "When you bury an emotion, you bury it alive" (unexpressed emotions never die, they will come forth later [in uglier ways]) I also want to start digging up the emotions living buried deep in me and finally lay them to rest..expressed, processed, and honored The Modern Taoist is advice on advice. Especially the first few months of episodes. It feels weird to have such a short answer here, but that first sentence really is the עצם העניין.
I started journaling and then fell off the wagon... I'm going to recommit to that. I need to be more intentional.
Follow my heart, mend what’s bad, celebrate what’s good
i would like to continue growing in courage and focus. i would like to share my art more widely. Hunger for Wisdom, Expect the Best, Accept Responsibility, Respond with Courage, Think: Team first.
i’d like to get back to my Judaism conversation process. i’d also like to find little pleasures again— go on walks, meet new people, find tiny hobbies to pick up. i want to bathe in the beauty of the world, regardless of how sick i feel. the advice i will follow is taken from my grandmothers blog, which i only just read in depth last month. “if you bring your body, your mind will follow.”
See answers to #6? Improving my home surroundings is the goal. Tackling things as they arise would be a good plan.
I would like to be fully present and loving for the people around me, whether or not I find that place. "T'as presque rien dit, mais juste ton écoute, je l'ai vraiment senti, et ça m'a aidé."
4 key words this year. Most important: move. I need to find a regular exercise regimen (and probably join a gym). Location. As I continue to work on my house, I need to find a home for everything and habitually return things to their home. Planned. Have planned things to cook for the week to guarantee I eat well. Pot of soup, sheet pan of vegetables or premade purchased things. (Jalapeño creamed spinach) to eat for meals. Hydrate.
I took myself out of being an athlete in 2026 and I will not let that happen next year.
Ready isn't a feeling; it's a decision. I wish I remembered where I heard or saw that advice, but in many ways, it is what gave me the strength to decide to take the next steps toward becoming a mother. There are so many ways I want to be a better version of myself to be the best mother I can be, but deciding to be ready for all of it is certainly a step in the right direction.
I am trying to be more proactive about knowing myself and providing for myself so that I don't have to look to others for acclamation. This is really hard for me. I have been trying to make and cultivate friendships for myself so I don't depend too much on family. I am terrified of being alone and I really don't know how to feel happy with just myself.
Improve? My primary concern is to get more fit. More fit means better live. I need to improve balance and strength.
At some point either this year or last Shefa asked me, "What if you could just get rid of the shoulds?" I remember after that going for a run on the beach. Rather than setting a distance goal or a time goal, I just ran as long as I wanted to and walked when I felt it was time. I ended up running much longer than I normally do and had much more fun. Now that is always how I run at the lake. That is how I want to live this year -- no shoulds!
I am learning a lot from Barbra Drizen about how to have more peace in my relationship with Jamie. I would like to upset her less and get along with her better. Barbra focuses on recognizing the capacity of the other person to consider your feelings (and when that capacity is low to not trying to demand more than is possible) and on "crossing the bridge" to put myself in their shoes. I mentioned several blowouts with Jamie over this past year in my year-end notes, and I have high hopes there will be no more of these.
Gratitude. I want to really be aware of it, practice it, feel it. Over the last five years I've given too much of myself to jealousy and covetousness. It puts a negative spin in my outlook and what I communicate to others that I don't see any benefit to, for anybody. There isn't any guiding advice and counsel that comes to mind except our parish priest vividly contrasting his home country and mine, and exhorting us to see and know what good lives we have.
I plan to get stronger by applying a consistent strength-training regime. Also to work on my Portuguese on a daily basis. Consistent small amounts of work add up!
Spend more time with friends and family. And progress steadily on fiber arts.
Focus on where I add value, construe to cull those things where my contributions aren’t generating value for myself.
Para tener mi mejor versión y mejorar todos los aspectos de mi vida, algo que tengo muy presente es que mi vida es mi responsabilidad. Tengo que actuar y responder con habilidad a las cosas que se me presenten. Tengo que decidir que hacer. Quiero decidir a hacerlo todo con o sin miedo, porque el no hacer nada también es una decisión y ya me cansé de mis excusas. Algo que me recuerdo todos los días es: CONFÍA EN DIOS Y EN LOS PLANES QUE TIENE PARA TÍ. Pero actua porque si confío en Él porque voy a tener miedo de las cosas.
I want to be better at focusing on what matters, letting go of the perfection and indecision cycle that holds me back, and being my best self in terms of what I can and should achieve on the right goals in the right way in my work.
“If it’s not in front of your face, don’t let it in your head.” I have been following Buddhism and the Tao and want to create a home that is aesthically pleasing and welcoming to all. I want enriching relationships that feed our souls. I also want to be an inspiration to others by living my authentic life.
I have already removing clutter and cleaning up, along with becoming leaner and stronger. In addition, I'd like to deepen friendships and welcome more friends into my home.
Share my story and listen to others' stories. Already this year is going to be another heavy, challenging year with my sister's terminal cancer diagnosis shared in September. Sara Bareilles wrote the song Home that really resonates for me: "What is broken cannot heal till it's known and loved by name," and "So tell me your story, I'll tell you mine."
Spend less time on my phone! I'd like to continue to follow my Mom's guidance: having a deep sense of gratitude, looking for and focusing on the positive, and laughing when things go wrong.
I would like to be more focused on my own growth/improvement rather than putting my attention on others improving themselves. Bottom line, I want to work on reducing my co-dependence tendencies. David hasn’t used the term co-dependent, but he has noted the areas where I need to change and asked me to back off worrying about him and focus on myself.
I'd like to improve my health, even though it feels like more and more of a lost cause as time passes. Advice or counsel I've received in the past year that could guide me...I dunno. "Do or do not, there is no try?" lmao no really I don't know. I guess I have more time to focus on whatever it is that I really need, and figure that out. Thank G-d. Man. What a time. I have no idea dude. I feel so lost and aimless right now. I guess listening to myself more, which goes along with being less hard on myself? Giving myself more grace? Kindness? Chen v'chesed v'rachamim?
I would like to let go of resentment about divorce and fear about love.
A piece of advice ... RL gave me some very good advice just a few days ago as I lapped the Optimist Park and stressed about wanting to be "loving and kind" and unable to achieve that while feeling dissociated because I was also annoyed and overwhelmed. She said something about making space for what I really felt, and not to move away from it. I don't know the exact advice, but it helped shift me into a more "real" relationship with R and to connect to my own wants, needs, feelings. That was good, wise guidance.
I am hoping I keep telling myself that my pace, my space, my grace, is really on to something. It's truly sustainable. It is just as effective as losing my mind, if not more so, and, to be honest, slightly less funny. It makes its own gravy. I can trust the path, and the way I walk it. I can handle the blowback, and the crushingly low self-esteem denial of flowers offered by others. It all works, despite its idiosyncracies.
To give anything less than my best is to sacrifice the gift. It is an act of selfishness to not take advantage of the many gifts. I’ve been granted with a healthy body and mind.
I would like to reign in my screen time (phone and computer). Start small and make it manageable.
Chase the lows in addition to or in addition to the highs. The nights where my house is full of people I love. The slow art projects with Ray. Finding boredom with another person. Doing more with less.
I'm not really seeking to improve anything. Instead, I am just desiring to be at peace with who I am and how I show up in the world. Advice: Stop caring about what people have to say about you. None of it matters!
Just keep going. Keep living, keep creating, keep loving, keep crying.
I want to be happy with enough - time at home, time traveling by car with Buddy and Wiley, time to visit the Jepson (not the High or MOMA), time to paint and write, time to impact the stewardship of the marsh behind my house. Happy here with enough.
Get help. Go to a doctor, check blood work, find a therapist. It can't continue this way.
In the next year, I'll be healthier (weighing at least 40lbs less), smarter (by reading more books and articles), happier (by working less and having more experiences in this beautiful city and world I live in), and more debt free (by paying down my credit cards and saving more).
I think this ties back to my last answer, but I really want to get better at unapologetically going after the things I want. I don’t want to be ashamed of wanting a certain life or feel like I need to make my ambitions smaller for anyone. You only have one life, and I think you have to live it in a way that feels authentic to you. If there’s a job I want, I want to go after it. If I want to be in a relationship, I want to be open to that and put the effort into making it work. If there’s something I really want, I believe that I can make it happen — but I also know that it takes action, patience, and sometimes a little bit of luck. Professionally, I want to be much more precise about what I’m looking for. I want to find a job that I actually enjoy doing, that gives me energy, but that can also provide for the lifestyle I want. I’ve learned that those things don’t necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. I also want to get better at trusting the process. I was unemployed for about six months, and ultimately, I needed that time for the right thing to come along. Right now, I’m working somewhere temporarily, and my mindset is that it’s a way to keep myself afloat while I work toward the bigger goal. Things aren’t stagnant. They’re always moving, even when it feels like they aren’t. I think that’s something I need to remind myself of: life is always moving, and I have to keep moving with it. I wish I could sometimes just feel completely comfortable and settled with exactly where I am, but I’m realizing that maybe that’s not really how life works. Things change, we change, and that’s okay. And the piece of advice that always comes back to me is something my grandmother used to say: “God helps those who help themselves.” I think that really captures the mindset I want to have — have faith, trust that things will work out, but also get up and do something about it.
I plan to continue toward making movement a habit.
I would like to improve my connections with others this year. With current friends, with acquaintances involved with music, with my brother, and most importantly with potential romantic partners. I head a podcast this year where the speaker urged you to trust yourself so that you can trust others - I will try and keep this in mind.
I would like to remove some of the noise and doubt from my brain. It is a lot of energy wasted and I wish I felt more consistently confident.
I want to move away from the feeling of discouragement as my primary narrative, and instead focus on my creativity and thriving. This year the song choice is Anna Fritz' "Take this heaviness from my heart. Throw it into the fire. Let me learn to be joyful. Lift my soul up higher."
Learn out to have a less co-dependent relationship with my son, and figure out how to be both attached and independent in my marriage.
I would like to handle stressful situations better, like the ones that happen at the food pantry. I tend to get flustered and then make poor decisions. I would also like to be more assertive and follow through with tasks. I tend to procrastinate.
i think i could always do with being more patient with my family haha, i am trying!
I want to have more fun with my friends and with my. husband. Care less about what others think. Do fun things. I don't have anyone else's advice but my own on this.
Oh interesting my advice from last year was about afib. I had funky afib issues at YK this time too, right at the end of the day, starting when I blew the tkiah gdolah and continuing through the breakfast and into the night. Then it stopped. Weird. Be aware of that this year and maybe test out the shofar for heart issues beforehand. Anyway, guidance: get some sleep! You need it.
Every year, I seem to write, "My colleague, Ron Hill, says "Decide who needs voice, provide that voice, and use it to make a better space." I saw Ron at a conference this past year and reiterated that quote to him-- how impactful it was/is. I don't think I care if I keep repeating it for this question every year; I would like to better figure out how to provide a voice to those who need it."
Dara’s Mom asked me if I needed to be more vulnerable in my life. Dara‘s first response was no she doesn’t. It’s funny because my first response was yeah probably. I spent a lot of of my life lately with barriers. I think I’m ready to take them down. My word for the year is Holy Boldness. Here’s what I blogged about. Holy Boldness aligns with my values and enriches my life. Azut d'Kedusha עזות דקדושה, Holy Boldness. Azut can mean boldness, audacity, courage, or inner strength. Yet if can have an opposite meaning too. Rebbe Nachman distinguishes between destructive brazenness, עזות פנים, and עזות דקדושה, holy boldness. Rebbe Nachman teaches that we need this quality when something stands in the way of our spiritual life. Especially when fear, embarrassment, other people, or inner resistance prevent us from doing what we know is right, we need enough holy boldness to move through that resistance. He connects this with the teaching “Be bold as a leopard,” הוי עז כנמר. Here’s what Hooper wrote about it: For example, as a fundraiser/director, this might be the moment when you are sitting across from someone who cares about your work, knowing you need to ask them for something significant. You may feel uncomfortable naming the amount or worry that asking will change the relationship. Azut d’Kedushah is the courage to stay present in that vulnerable moment, to speak honestly about what is needed and why it matters, and then to simply ask. The strength is not in knowing they will say yes. It is in being willing to ask even though they may say no. It feels right in my body. It means sometimes I’m gonna put myself out there and see what happens. No matter what, at least I tried something new. Before R H I joined a group for a month called nice to meet you. I went to dinner with seven other strangers. I did it three times. Each time was interesting. I met some interesting people. No one that I care to follow up with and I think vice versa. I learned that I’m very connected to my Judaism and intellect/education. I don’t really want to have small talk. I’d like to have interesting BIG talk deep talk. I finally got to catch up with Dina. She is divine as always. She is one of the most insightful people I know. She too helped center me with questions around G. Can I see us as a couple? Can he? Can I dare him to see us as anything? We also talked about the difference between Hope and Faith. Is one more active than the other? She suggested Faith has a level of acceptance where Hope seems like a wish. Sitting with this. G- said hope is when you are a football fan hoping your team wins, faith is the quarterback knowing where to throw the ball. I'm going to sit with this for a while.
Take a breath. It's not that serious. It's an adventure.
I would like to have spent less time worrying and more time being actively engaged in something--be it a book, a walk, joining a group discussion. It's high time for this only child to stop being an only senior adult.
I have been so blessed this year with the absolute kindness of others, people who think nothing of giving a hug or phone call of support or offer of other help, and I realize that I could do a lot better in that arena. I saw when we had our friends from France here for 2 weeks that I could be spontaneous and go hiking half the day or to Seattle, and I still got most things done. And it was a lot more fun. So I'd like to spend this next year being there more for others, and being there more for myself and relationships as well. There will always be time for cleaning, laundry, etc. But you never know when someone will leave your life and you realize you missed out on some good memories. And to take advantage of when people offer help, because usually they really want to help and it's a mitzvah to accept it. I like to do everything myself, but it's not a good choice.
I would like to not hang onto what other people say about me, and not assume that I need to take everything they say about themselves personally. Just because my coworker says, "I'm ambitious! I don't like to settle," that doesn't mean she's better than me. I want to be peacefully happy with my own journey, not feeling like I have to take cues from others all the time.
I want to feel happier in my life. I wouldn't describe it as an "improvement" since that implies a deficiency. It's more of a relinquishing of thoughts opposite from my desires. I hope to lean into my belief that energy is everything and everything is energy even more.
I would like to improve my eating habits. I often eat too much until I'm stuffed, I often have to follow dinner or lunch with a sweet treat, and I generally feel bloated and fat. I really want to dive into that and see what's going on psychologically and physiologically and how I can adjust to feel better in my body. Advice: it's OK to stop eating when you're full; you don't have to finish the plate. I also would like to develop my language skills– Whether would be Farsi, Hebrew, and/or Spanish. I honestly don't really want to learn Farsi but it would help me connect with Amir's family. Maybe I can find a way to find internal motivation because I certainly don't have it right now.
Expanding on my answer to question 6, find better equalibrium in my life, externally and internally. At the same time, accepting myself; not fighting my natural tendencies; not worrying about how I'm perceived by others (and myself!). Remain open to everything: myself, all people, experiences. Lead with curiosity, not preconceptions, seek and find the barriers I've built against love.
I really want to try to separate my self-worth from my career. Vocational awe has hollowed me out after almost 20 years and I need to find a better and more holistic way to view myself.
I would like to become more accepting of myself and others, and stop being so sensitive to people using others, taking advantage of others, and hurting others. Maybe I can get to accept that there are just bad people around and I should not care so much. So far that has been impossible for me, but it frightens me that I am now 76 and still so affected by so many unfair things in life.
I gave myself advice speaking on behalf of my younger self, and I think it's worth keeping: Keep making stuff. I selected these middot at Rosh Hashanah: Courage and Curiousity
I want to get better at hard conversations by taking more time to think about what I want to say before it comes time to say it so I can be more thoughtful and also more direct. I also want to work on being more calm when I'm having a hard conversation. I also want to work on my bedtime self discipline because I'm really struggling with that.
I'd like to be more true to myself, and less beholden to others. To know better what I actually want versus doing what I think others want of me.
I would somehow get a stable source of recurring income. I like the freedom of consulting, but I don’t like having to hustle and self promote all the time. I try to make time for self development, but I don’t make time to implement the advice of the self development webinars I attend. I should devote more time to improving myself and my business(es).
I'm less concerned with myself and my own life and more concerned about how to improve the life of others. I love this ability I have as a speech pathologist to help people, and I just want to be even better at it.
I think the general vibe of knowing my worth and not settling for less because of fear that manifested in the relationship with J. The words of O two years ago: 'I'm interesting, I'm fun to be with, I'm pretty, I deserve someone good'. Not to forget these words cause they apply to me, too :)
I want to take better care of my health as I believe my body will be going into pre menopause in a couple of years. Eat healthier and have a routine of exercises. I want to be active and healthy for me and for the mother I'll become (hopefully). I also want to be more proactive and strategic with my money- maybe put a plan in place for retirement and how I want to save/invest. No specific advice, but just been reminded many times this year to live the moment and that while we make plans, the gods laugh.
Same as last year - lose weight and have more confidence. But what are the odds I say that next year. Oh - maybe be in a relationship...
I came up with an anxiety management technique which I then promptly forgot about, which was to visualise my anxiety as a pile if jigsaw pieces, or a yarn barf, which just needs to be methodically sorted through, so I’d like to internalise that and put it into action. Also to be a bit more conscious of the seasons and how they affect you/can affect you. Someone told me yesterday that autumn is a time to shred the things that don’t serve you, like dead leaves on a tree, and that was an interesting thought.
See answer to #6 plus, eat more healthy and exercise especially when home in NH. As with journaling and yoga, I need to make that commitment to myself.
right Speech Less fear World is a harrow bridge and the main thing is to have no fear at all Rabbi Nachman of Breslov
Jag vill fokusera på att lägga min tid på viktiga saker. Mindre skrollande. Lägga energi på sådant som är viktigt istället. Har fått rådet att bättre skaka av mig dåliga saker.
The impulse to achieve perfection really is the enemy of - you know - actually DOING anything. Half ass it if you must, kid. Do SOMETHING. Today.
Yes! I would like to implement my learnings from 2026. Add Sound to the studio; add more instructors.. leave more space and time in my life.. and forge ahead with my dream in the year of 2027. The words of Peter Crone are ringing soundly in my ears. I'd like the vision of 2027 to come to fruition. A travel with my good friends to Croatia / a 4x4 trip to see good friends get married. Maybe walk a little bit of the Camino with my son. Rock 2027!!
Keep going, learning, being curious--everything I'm already doing right now, who I currently am--ensuring that I keep on keeping on. Keep it simple, stupid.
By reconnecting to my spiritual practice, by staying healthy, and by listening to my inner wisdom. My mom told me to take care of myself when we said goodbye at the hospital before she died. I want to follow that advise, I want to take better care of myself.
I'd like greater discernment. I want to become better at saying no thank you and walking away from things that aren't for me. I want to fail more quickly and move on more easily to the next thing. Small steps for small feet.
I want to continue the process I’ve already started in therapy. One of my goals in therapy was to learn how to be me, single, and actually remain single without relying on sex or relationships to mask whatever I was feeling. And I managed to do that. Through therapy, I also started to understand what I call “the void.” I got hurt many years ago and never really healed it. Instead, I focused on dating, sleeping around, having fun, jumping from relationship to relationship, and planning my life with somebody else over and over instead of looking inside and dealing with what was there. I don’t feel like I’m that guy anymore. I’m not trying to mask the pain by constantly meeting new women or jumping into something else. So next year I want to keep working on myself and keep healing that part of me. I want to be further along that path and in a better place, where I can eventually share my life and my future with someone else without needing them to become my life or my future.
I want to keep building on my physical strength and health. I still don't make anywhere near enough time for core work and stretching, and my weak core and achey joints are here to answer for that. I still feel like health means more calorie burn and more intense exercise and I know other things are important, but it's really hard for me to make time for this. I'd also like to be a little more intentional about nutrition. I do hate wasting food, but I really don't need to eat the kids leftover ramen or a cold fish finger just because it's there. I also think overall, I would like to try to drop this mindset I have about "having it all" or achieving perfection. Sometimes I literally think to myself - I can work full time, go to the gym every day, cook fresh food, be a present and involved parent, get the kids off screens, be happy and cheerful, be up to date on my to-do-list, catch up with friends, be a great and loving and patient partner...and when something gets missed in a day I'm really hard on myself. When we're planning a trip I try to consider every concievable thing we could do or place we could go to maximise the experience. It's like I'm trying to squeeze everything into every day to ensure it's the *best* possible day. I tell myself its possible to achieve this level of productivity and perfection and blame myself for falling short. I think I know in my heart that this is not possible. And that it isn't a failure to prioritise certain things more on certain days. Not a failure if the kids are on their Switch, if we end up in a good restaurant instead of The Best One, not a failure for needing an hour more of sleep instead of a workout, not a failure for doing a chore during work hours or going to bed with something on the to do list. I don't know why I think I should be super woman, I never have been!
Less rumination and less worry, more presence. This has been it for the past 10 years, I'd reckon. Now I am in my 40s and my kids are a bit older. I feel like I'm coming out of a swamp a bit. I think I have more headspace, more capacity, more breathing room. I think I can do it this year: presence, presence, presence. These are fleeting times. I don't want to miss any more of my moments.
Rabbi Goldberg gives a great shiur on emuna/bitachon that I listen to daily. I would like next year that I don't question my higher power's decisions and know that they are all for the good no matter how hard they are. As for the coming year, I would like to think more before I talk so my daughters have more desire to come to me and more faith in my capabilities.
I want to get better at keeping in top of my work. I've allowed a big backlog to build up. I said no to a new piece of work this week. I think on days when I'm not feeling it, I just need to start a pommy-D, write three things on my to-do list, and focus on them. I can be a slave to my inbox sometimes and end up not getting the backlog done because I'm just responding to requests that come in. I've been doing that this week and most of last week. I haven't even opened my digital to-do list. It helps if I write three tasks in my notebook. But that's mostly for days when I'm stuck. This is boring. I write about this shite most years and think about it a lot of the time. Oh, and I'd also like to invoice more regularly.
I want to be more open and honest about myself to the people I love. I'm trying to break familial habits of staying quiet and avoiding conflict. It doesn't serve me or those around me I respect.
I would like to have a better home. My apartment makes me feel poor in a bad way. I want a home full of peace and beauty. I also want to lose weight, to be at a healthy bmi. A couple of my friends have suggested I get a cleaning service but I’m really thinking of appearances and feeling with regards to a home. An acquaintance of mine wants to decorate my home so I should go for that. Another former colleague suggested I use AI. With regards to weight loss, “don’t react” is an excellent mantra. For basically everything.
I’d like to further explore my career shift. I’m not exactly sure what that looks like yet, but things I’m considering are park ranger, wilderness guide, and selling linocut print designs. In a nutshell, I want to stop, relax, and use my sabbatical time to lean into what I love. With no large overhead anymore, I can now do what I enjoy instead of think about salary. As far as counsel, Shea, my life coach, has helped me tremendously. She’s really helped me see what it is I love and find my truth among all the noise. Also, continuing to dig into my internal issues - feelings of abandonment, resistance to being perceived, low self worth, rejection sensitivity, rumination over the past, repressed anger, etc. I have a lot of work to do in therapy! I also hope that I am hiking and biking again on a regular basis. Best advice: Let go.
The best piece of advice I received this year was from my therapist - "It's ok to feel your feelings" I spent a lot of years suppressing feelings in order to survive a lot of horrible things - depression, breast cancer, the pandemic, and the death of my parents. Now I've sort of forgotten how to feel much and I'm trying to figure that out. It's a sort of gray, neutral place with few highs and lows, and not much joy. I'd like to improve my mental health this year by trying to feel my feelings, even if for just a few minutes
A couple of years ago, when I turned 60, I decided to do an entire year of sobriety. Next year, when I turn 63, I'm going to be doing a year of plant-based eating. My new boo has been a vegan for 15 years and is really passionate about it. He's been cooking for me, and we've been spending about 8 days/month together, and during that time we eat plant-based. He's also helping me figure out how to cook, and I'm sure he will be super helpful when I make this change.
This year I attended Velocity Weekend presented by Flow Alliance which was attended by 12 other participants, Chase Adams, and Ryan Wickes. The experience included follow up sessions with Steven Kotler and Sarah Sarkis. "Flow is nothing more than getting our biology to work for us." When I am in flow, I am more effiicient, effective, and enjoy life. In the next year, I want to cultivate flow for better relationships as a parent, spouse, and friend; to propel my Purium business so far that I can leave my day job; move my life missions forward; and most of all, enjoy all the ups and downs of life.
I really need to eat better (and sometimes just remembering to eat), more than anything I need to move (gym, walk, dance class, SOMETHING), need to drink more water (definitely got back on the Dr Pepper zeros come spring-ish). I need to let go of things not serving me, I need to see where my time is going, I need to take care of/be involved in people and things I care about.
I would like to focus on flexibility and balance to keep my pain levels lower as I age. Yoga, perhaps? Tai chi?
I feel that every day I gain more and more mental stability in my outlook on ways to help myself and my family and the families I work with my coworkers I feel the job and the agency that I’m with helps me to bolster this as it is very much the agencies mission. It’s so aligned to how I feel about things and that helps me to build more confidence in myself and the path that I’m on.
Don't linger on the negative. There is so much joy in the world...get out of my own head
I think the biggest way I want to improve my life next year is to keep doing something I finally learned how to do this year: stop pushing myself to become someone I am not. Last night, for Yom Kippur, we did a ceremony at home with our family and some new friends. We each picked up a stone and thought about something we were carrying that we were ready to let go of. Then we let the stones go. Maya drew a beautiful picture on hers and very carefully placed it in our succulent garden. I didn't tell anyone what was on mine, but I said out loud that this was the first time in my entire life that I had actually been able to let this particular thing go. What I was letting go of was the constant, fruitless effort to make myself into a different kind of person. For most of my life, I have believed that if I just tried harder, became more disciplined, got more organized, controlled myself better, or found the right system, I could finally function the way I thought I was supposed to. And when I couldn't, I treated that as a personal failure and started the project all over again. This year, for the first time, I think I stopped. I have figured out ways to support myself so that I can still accomplish a tremendous amount. I can use structures, tools, other people, technology, routines, accommodations — whatever actually works. But when I still can't do something, or when I run out of capacity, I am becoming able to forgive myself instead of immediately turning it into evidence that I need to try harder to become someone else. That doesn't feel like giving up. It feels almost like the opposite. I can accomplish more when I'm working with myself instead of spending so much energy fighting myself. So next year, I want to protect that. I want to keep building a life that allows me to be ambitious and useful and deeply engaged without making my worth depend on whether I can force myself to function like somebody I have never been. I spent most of my life trying to fix myself. I think I would like to spend the next part actually being myself.
I need to make more space in my life for learning about myself and my body now and radically accept that I am in “the zone of chaos” (perimenopause). And remember that “What used to work no longer works.” My body, its functions, and its reactions are now a swirling and unpredictable sea of symptoms and sensations, and I need to remember and respect that fact.
I'd like to have a steady job that sustains me, so I can stay in my own flat, so I can feel stable in life. I would like a constant income stream and a job I love to do.
Discipline. Discipline in my health, in my substance consumption and sleep, in my relationships, in things that I say yes to, in things that I say no to.If it doesn't align with my head, my heart, my gut in my base, then it's a no.
I plan to be more focused on doing the things I need to do to get me where I want to be, both professionally and socially. I want to grow my consulting business, so I can do that full-time and not have to do much teaching. I'd like to become more active in volunteering for political and environmental causes. Good advice: if you want to effect change in the world, be that change. Nobody will do it for you.
I said last year that I needed to learn Spanish. And I'm learning Spanish (although have a long way to go). I need to in tease my weights for fitness in a few senses. I made little progress on fixing the home issues and the fact that I'm mentioning them a second time means they're stubborn. No one advises me even when I ask.
I would like to be more satisfied with my social life. I plan to continue taking the initiative to interact socially with others, especially with other men. I want to reverse 55 years of being extremely awkward socially. I have been working on that since I retired in 2017 and need to continue to become better at it.
I want to be better at speaking my mind. I worry that I might become too cocky if this comes to pass, but I think I could do to be a bit better at it. I often stay quiet to keep the peace, including with people I know well and could certainly talk to. I think this is not the healthiest trait, and that it would be better if I were better at challenging people on ideas I take issue with or bringing up actions that bother me. I don't have a piece of advice to guide me, but there are a couple of people in my life (my roommate, my grad school advisor) who are very good at speaking their mind, and I might try to emulate their approach.
Be more present. Spend less time on digital devices. Develop better sleep habits. Be less judgmental. Cultivate the capacity for hope in yourself and others. Gracefully seize the day, the minute, the moment.
Keep pushing myself to be better...trying to figure out how to stand up for myself and keep my cool. Trying to be proactive and not reactive.
My intention that I made at Rosh Hashanah was to engage in financial self-care at a deep level. I suppose the advice that I received not only in the past year but in prior years is to take it one step at a time. I have begun paying off my debt and gotten rid of most of my credit cards. I have tax returns to complete and my own QuickBooks accounting to complete. I need to get more clients for my business and or begin training people on QuickBooks or taking QuickBooks classes and getting employed with them as a bookkeeper and tax preparer
I felt the forgiveness of my ancestors to me, and I'd like to be able to do that for myself. Then maybe I can move on.
I watched a video about why Brennan Lee Mulligan’s games are so ‘next level’. One of the premises was that although often silly on the surface, they are rooted in deep philosophical ideas that challenge players to define their characters by the choices they make. This reminded me of my dormant interest in philosophy. I am going to embark on a year of philosophical learning. I will start with Simone Weil. I think this study directly contributes to my work and my personal growth of understanding self and how to exist in community.
The piece of advise or counsel that helped me this year was that I tolerate other people's drama for too long. I can cut short other people's drama sooner.
Don't wait for the right time. Act before you feel ready. Acting makes readiness.
I am so grateful for how strong, fit and active I am feeling right now. I am grateful that I have a partner who is committed to staying active and healthy. I want to counsel myself to truly embrace and take full advantage of this gift.
Enjoy all experiences with an open heart and mind. Have a learning and gracious attitude.
I really like the idea of healing my relationship with my voice, and I found a potential guide to help me do so. There has been such an up-and-down journey with my voice, and I love the idea of gaining more control over it and then showing more of myself through my voice and through singing. today in synagogue, one of the aliyot was about showing more of our authentic selves and not holding back. there is this one precious life. I’m 54 years old. I don’t want to let the fear make me small anymore.
I think that mostly I should keep doing what I'm already doing, and try to avoid anything would cause conflict or disruption in my life.
Something I heard recently is that when a storm comes in nature, bison and cows have very different approaches. Bison run towards the storm, and cows run from it. As the Bison run against the storm, they basically shorten its duration because they're getting to the other side faster. And if it's too bad to run, they soak up the good parts of it, like getting to drink the rainwater and get showered. Cows run from it, and inadvertently make the storm longer for themselves. I want to be like the bison. What gets in the way will become the way. Fear is telling me where I need to grow the most. My goal is to adapt this mindset this coming year.
i would like to be mroe like myself and learn how to put myself first and eat
I think two of Rabbi Jenna's sentiments spoke to me this year. One, i think might be hard to make happen this year; one, that is totally in my control. The one in my control; don't let yourself be your own worst enemy. Allow yourself to be kind to yourself, release the pressure you put on yourself. The second she shared was that human connection takes work. In a world where there's more and more technology to remove the friction in our day to day and become more efficient; it does so at a cost of human connection (i.e., think how you can order food without talking to a person or get counseling from an AI agent). Human connection is by its very nature inviting discomfort and vulnerability and that to be in community requires you to embrace that friction. In my life, I think it means not being afraid to go the extra mile to create community; like our mah jongg nights, or doing more of our shabbats with hodge podges of people. To resist Claude-ing things, at times, and talking to a person! and to embrace human connection even if it's a bit messier.
I really must spend less time scrolling and being online, and spend much more time outside, making things, reading, thinking, learning deeply. I need to get better at getting up when my alarm goes off and using that bit of time before work for me, so that I start the day with myself, and not with work.
This year, I'm trying to be patient and optimistic about my physical body and my career opportunities. Since 2022, when I returned to my home position at work, I have tried to find work elsewhere but to no avail. I came close at my my most recent interview, where I placed second in the competition, but I'm starting to lose hope that my circumstances will change and I really crave a shift in this area of my life. I want to do something different that'll excite and challenge me and make me feel inspired to go to work every day. I still find what I do to be meaningful but there is ZERO interest from government to invest in our services and now with the US/Canada tariffs being a pressing issue across all of government, we're fairly certain we won't see any investments in our programs anytime soon. I've started reaching out to managers within the public service whom I'd like to work with just to have informal informational interviews and find out what they're working on, as well as with friends and colleagues who are engaged in meaningful work that interests me, to see if we can collaborate. I will figure out a way to create opportunities if I can't find one through conventional means. But I also need to try and practice patience. It's hard though -- particularly with these two examples because my body is going through this massive change in perimenopause and I don't know exactly HOW to work with it while still enjoying the foods and activities I like. Similarly, I've been applying for jobs and interviewing, taking leadership courses and STILL I'm feeling stuck and like my windows of opportunity have long since passed me by, because I'm no longer interested in going above and beyond for a job that doesn't reward my efforts. I want to think positively, that something WILL eventually turn up that suits me and my skillsets well, but my confidence has been shaken and it's hard to recover from that.
ACT ACCORDINGLY. Take the actions your future self would take. Be grateful for every day you get on this gorgeous planet and live life to the fullest. <3
All of the below (2025) feels applicable... I think I've made strides on all of them except i still wear chemical sunscreen.
I guess I just want to be a good friend if people do not let me down, to do crafts and volunteer and make my community better. To tell the truth. Pretty simple and normal.
Stop worrying I am not enough, my fear of not being clever enough and losong intelligence is rising. In a year to have found confidence in myself.
I would like to work on my marriage. I would like to be less affected by things and try to feel things less deeply. Maybe employ the “let them” philosophy.
I want to be less judgemental and speak less lashon hara. It’s so easy to fall into that trap, but being above it totally feels better for your soul. Though the advice is not connected to the one above. It’s about ishtadlut. I’ve heard a rabbi competing this concept to a parcel. You’ve already received it and it waits for you at the post office. But you need to stand up, go there and pick it up yourself. This reminds me, when I procrastinate or am lazy to do something — Hashem will help you, but only if you put your true effort into it. So go and do your part.
plan every day think about future plans take initiative and dont be afraid of rejection or failure. plan actions on objectives
I'm working on my flexibility. Life isn't linear, growth isn't linear, children don't fit into boxes and people never act as you expect. Growing my flexibility has given me the permission to be kinder to myself as I move through the world. I'm a recovering perfectionist.
Therapy Be less annoyed by sounds Have a better relationship with my mom Be grateful for what I have because the world is hard (my dad)
Slow down. Clean up. Be more available to family/friends.
Oh my. Get my shit together re death. Push past my la la la la approach to finances and make a will or whatever is best. I’m not even afraid to die but I sure act like it!
Taking better care of myself is a priority. I am determined to make the best of my time left.
Something I read in one of my gay hockey books recently was a saying from one of the guys' moms: Don't wait to be happy. I'm not waiting anymore. I'm spending the money. I'm buying the penthouse. I'm taking trips. "Don't wait to be happy!" And also something from a prior year, "Worry less."
I fairly recently met an older man at a pub playing music in Ireland. We got talking. He is like santa claus, white hair and rosy cheeks. He told me how his wife died of cancer and his son committed suicide and I didn't know how he was still standing. He was the definition of quiet dignity, humour. We stayed a bit in touch. He knows my husband is dying and we're young, it is tragic dying young after we only had 2 years together without cancer. He text me recently and advised I go easier on those around me who have not been able to show up to support. It's too late for many, I don't want to know or re-ignite friendships with the ones who have been selfish and indecent. But there are others who have tried and I pulled away from them before they could disappoint me. I have let one or two of them in. His advice is foremost in my mind, I think about it all the time. I am going to try and heed what he says and not be as hard on people who don't understand how this is and how cruel it all is. It's not their fault they don't understand.
I wish to improve the time I take to slow down, breathe deeply, and engage in self care. For me, that means taking breaks, staying mindful, showering with the indulgence of taking my time, and working out. I love to dance and do many original things when I'm at the gym, but a routine would be more than nice. If I stick to the same approach on the regular, then I could build fitness, a dream of mine - for someone so inconsistent. Sleep is imperative, given my health needs, and that is most definitely on the docket. ALL these things come from the care and concern of loved ones who have encouraged and flat out instructed me to take care of myself for years. My skills with this come in and out of focus, but I want to make it the number one thing I do with my freedom. It enables all the rest.
Trusting my gut, trust my gut, trust my gut! Embracing friendship and powerful body moving!
Keep leaning into my own wants. I lost myself in my previous relationship, and I want to ensure I use this next year to lean into everything I've wanted to and haven't yet done.
Last year was stabilizing my blood pressure and managing my menopausal symptoms so I can get quality sleep. Now I'm working towards reducing weight, increasing strength so I can live more fully in life. I have a goal of climbing the 46'rs in the Adirondacks - 2 down, 44 to go - and many other things that I'll need to be much stronger for. I see so many other people doing it - what's preventing me from getting there? Right now, my eating habits. Onward!
I would like to eat better and exercise more for general health and also to bring my weight to the normal BMI range. No particular advise other than keep doing what I’m doing which is advice from myself!
I want to be more at ease and at peace with my life. The question “What is mine to carry?” Is resonating with me these days. For most of my life I’ve taken on the eldest sister role of taking on more responsibility than necessary, and finding my own value in that. Now I’m letting that go. I know my value is not about my ability to take responsibility. I’m very good at that and I know I can do it, but I have inherent value as a human being without doing that. My intention is now about choosing where to take responsibility, delegating to others, and being clear about where my responsibilities end. This is just as important in my work as it is at home, as a mother. Grace is at an age now (8) where she can take on more responsibility. I don’t have to do as much for her and in fact it’s better for her if I don’t. My job as a mother is to start letting go and letting her step up for herself.
I would like to continue to improve the way I think and how I communicate with others to build connects with others. I love to share and I love to listen so continuing the balance is important to me.
I'd like to see the beauty in the every day. I spend much of my time just surviving and looking forward to free time when I can do what I want to do. But I need to enjoy the tiny moments too.
Nearly every person who’s shared concern over my husband Jerry’s tortuous four-month recovery with each advance being followed by a setback, has also said they hope that I’m caring for myself while I am the primary caretaker for him. I have truly been exhausted and depleted by this roller-coaster journey and all I’ve been able to do when I return from my hospital visits is collapse on the coach and watch movies or series on TV. I’ve been encouraged to find other ways to bring more joy into my life and, so far, that has eluded me, especially as I’ve had to sacrifice participating in my granddaughter’s wedding that would’ve elated me. I hope that I can find my way into experiencing more nourishing delight as that is very hard for me. I would feel profound tenderness for anyone else unable to give to themselves; I hope I can discover a path to have the same compassion for myself.
1. Improve myself and my life: Work less. Travel more. Improve my physical body and my spirit and my marriage at the same time. 2. Life is a lot of wonderful things, but fair isn't one of them. -Eric Selinger
I would like to be even more courageous! I would like to step out of my comfort zone and makes some strong financial moves that will be of benefit to my entire family. The biggest piece of advice is that I can do whatever I set my mind to and age is just a number. I've got this!
Keep pruning. Let it grow Let the magical team flow in
I want to continue my "journey" of getting better at emotional regulation, including and especially when I am running low on sleep and the toddler and/or baby are seriously testing my patience. I feel like parenthood thus far has really stress-tested this and forced me to strengthen this "muscle," but I have more work to do. So I would like to keep practicing these skills and looking inward to figure out the strategies that work best for me.
I would like to work on my response to anger and pain. Leaning into my Judaism and community will guide me.
I want to continue to study Spanish with the goal of Spanish conversation with my neighbors.
Once again, I’ll go with a similar answer to last year. I know that I don’t feel my best physically and that I’m not doing myself any favors with my eating habits. My gym membership feels like a big waste. Once again, I don Have any specific counsel on this subject, but I have Andrea as a positive role model.
Sit down and rest. The world will wait because it was never working for you anyway. You make the world what you want and sometimes ambition is not worth it. Health, Heart, and Happiness is more.
My life would improve significantly where I can move house and state. I struggle with where I live as it is too hot and is impacting my health. My goal is to lose 10 kg and get to Victoria The best advice I have had this year, is to be kind to myself
I realized that I still spend a lot of time on negative thoughts. I'd like to stay positive and focused so that I can keep growing and keep trying to be a good wife and mom. Life is so much harder and more complicated and when I get lost in rumination I really do lose my perspective and probably miss out on opportunities to enjoy life and engage in actions that I'm proud of. If I can really cut down the negative train of thought, I think that will help tremendously.
I am working on saying "no" more. I am someone who is great at saying yes to opportunities, which has built a full (and very busy) life for me and my family. I appreciate every opportunity, but I need to be more selective so that taking advantage of these opportunities feels exciting/joyful, not like a chore.
Declutter my house, declutter my brain. I've never focused much on my living environment because there is so much to explore in the world. But, perhaps starting at home is similar to the Buddhist advice of starting where you are/starting with yourself. And I need to do both. Go to therapy, clean the house, literally and metaphorically.
I would like to be at ease in my own skin. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. But I don’t act like it. I expend so much physical and mental energy trying to be all things to all people; I want to just be who God designed me to be. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect but I am perfectly imperfect and that’s okay. I will know I have met my goal when my thoughts are under control - I am present in my conversations and interactions, I dream and sleep through the night, I regularly take time to marvel at nature. I’ve been collecting words of wisdom in honor of my 50 years on this planet; I’ve received so much over the years. Here are two pieces of wise counsel I’d like to guide me in the next year: The world does not give you space to rest. You have to take it. (Alex Soojung-Kim Pang) One thing have I desired of the Lord and that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life. (Psalm 27)
I will continue with the changes I've begun over the past few years of being mindful and aware as best I can in each moment, maintaining my will power to achieve the things I want while not being hard on myself when things don't go perfectly, and being less of a slave to time.
Not in spite of you. Humans being human. Be awkward if it's being yourself, go to the thing "make room" (from kol nidre Rabbi J)
I’d like to not get preoccupied by the stupid stuff and just focus on the precious time I have with my family. I feel like I often get caught up in the daily grind — leading to the inevitable fight about cleaning up. And while I know some of that is unavoidable, I want to focus on the big picture. On the good stuff. And not be so distracted. I feel like the time I have with my kids is fleeting — and feels like it’s going so fast. I want to mold them into good Jewish adults, but I also want to mold them even more into people who will always want to come home and see us and spend time with us.
Go study. Save your money. Fill your hope chest.
I need to be brave to recognize the truth, including the truth of who I am. Thr sooner the better, and it’s no use to delay it.
Let them
I hope to be most appreciative of the fact that I am healthy; mindful of the tragic experiences three close friends are experiencing and able to fully be present and available.
Last year's self- and life-improvement goal was a total bust. So with that in mind ... Recently the idea of de-centering has shown up repeatedly, online and "in real life." It recognizes that one can't end some negative relationships and offers a way of approaching them with what I see as harm reduction: focusing on on how the relationship and one's own actions and decisions within it can better serve one's own needs and wellbeing, rather than just those of the other person.
Just keep dog paddling to better health and wellness....
Lose weight and take better care of myself. I don’t have to be perfect, just a little bit better each day.
I would like to be better at "not" giving myself such a hard time and to be better at being gentle with myself. Alex W. and my Rabbi have both pointed my shortcoming in this area and I really would like to give myself a break from harshness.
I would like to have more fun and stress/cry less!
I hope I have come the teensiest bit farther in making peace with uncertainty. I live such a good happy life right now as a college student and I will like a good happy life afterwards, too, but it's not a life that I can anticipate or draw out in any detail and that's extremely anxiety inducing for me. I suspect a year from now, my future will be maybe a bit but not massively clearer to me and I hope I will be loving my life and living it and not tearing myself apart over what comes next.
I'd like to continue losing weight steadily (naturally, without 'the jabs') but also to start exercising again. I think being healthier in my body can only be a good thing now I'm in my 40s! I think the 'it's better to do something than nothing' mentality has been important to me and applies well here.
I am rebuilding my fitness and expect to reach my fitness ambitions in the next year - I just need to keep doing what I am doing and hold the basics: good sleep, a neighbourhood that meets my energy, and building a community of people to be active with.
Simply to be active, taking care of my body, my heart and my soul. To be quiet to notice and to breath. To find counsel in nature as needed, and to see where this takes me. To invite the universe in, to speak to me and to know when she is and to listen deeply.
I would like to be able to handle dating with the confidence that I have the skills to protect myself and make the right decisions. BHDM (Burnt Haystack Dating Method) is the most important material I've ever studied. I have made excuses, ignored bad behavior, and accepted crumbs of affection. BHDM is a comprehensive set of skills that I continue to practice every day, even though I'm not dating yet.
i hope i rested and planned during the winter while not completely cutting myself off. i hope i remember how life comes in seasons and there’s always ebb and flow, that nothing grows year round. i hope we’ve made progress on the cottage
A few weeks ago I started a GLP-1 and also doing more consistent exercise, so I hope to improve my fitness, energy, and yes my looks in the coming year. Without getting carried away with diet culture.
I would like to say less, really think more carefully before I say things. I would like to feel like I can be more generous of my time and patience. I want to be more present during Morning Minyan, really commit to a regular practice of meditation/mindfulness, reading my daily Mussar and Book of Jewish Days, read more fiction and keep a gym rhythm of 2-3 days/week. I would like to simplify my wardrobe and get rid of things. I am really trying to be okay with the idea that, “I am not for everyone, and everyone is not for me”.
Right now I feel trapped by people who stole everything from me like I can't get it back. I want to get where I want to be in my career!!
I want to have a stable job and lose myself in more art projects. So many projects and opportunities in my life are held back by my work stress, and I just want to focus more on building upward than on survival. Advice? Maybe “write anyway” a lesson I learned from my goal 30 work. Most of the time I’m mentally wiped out and emotionally overwhelmed, but I have to try anyway.
I would like to form deep friendships with people outside of the house. Today, I told Freya about how much I crave connection. Meeting Brooke reminded me that I can click with people off the bat, that it need not feel so hard. I don't know how I find those people, but I need to keep trying. I also want to become a more empathetic and giving person, particularly toward the people that struggle to take and ask for that type of support. I worry sometimes that my drive to help others stems primarily from wanting to be a good person instead of genuine care. But I've tried to be more thoughtful about what others might want or need, and my roommates and friends continue to model that skill. I've become much better at accepting help, and I want to give that to others. Advice in the form of questions: "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be free?" and "What is your line?"
I have a lot of expectations of myself, and I think that's good. And, it's unlikely to change. I would like to find a way to meet my big goals without getting down on myself when I don't achieve each "building block" goal, each day. I continue to think about how to best motivate myself and see my progress without the "womp womp" feeling when a week is too full to meet all of my planned self-commitments. I want to learn to trust myself to make best choices for my own happiness and sanity, even if they end up NOT being what I planned.
I did end up getting into sewing this year. I've made a dress, a shirt, two skirts, a mock up of a pair of shorts, and I'm working on a layering dress/pinafore at the moment. I paid for two virtual class/curricula from indie makers, which felt like money well spent! I'd like to work on fitting and get acquainted with working with knits. I'd love to have a core wardrobe of items that I made!
Be yourself Don’t overcommit Listen to your heart
The best things I've learned this year were through my mindfulness practice. Best single concept, paraphrased from Viktor Frankl: Between stimulus and response is where freedom lies. If I can just remember that, all the rough seas that lie ahead will be manageable. So I hope I continue to maintain equanimity most of the time, continue to grow, continue to connect with friends, family, and my community.
I want to focus on improving my health. This past year has been really rough. There isn't technically a cure for what I have, but I've seen people go into remission, and I know I can do it too. I just need to work hard. By this time next year, I want to be in remission and back to feeling energetic and enjoying my life. I don't know if I can call it counsel or advice, but there is a girl on TikTok who has been working really hard to recover from POTS, and she also has hEDS. She said that some people have called her channel ableist because she advocates working to improve your symptoms, and her response what that there was nothing wrong with a recovery mindset. I agree with her 100%.
I want to keep learning to love myself. Self love and forgiveness. I want to keep learning to take really good care of myself. I want to move my body every day and be strong. Yes please.
Still the same as last year taking better care of myself, but Chad my Grief Counselor for the last nine months has been trying to remind me all the time to be kind to myself that this first year of Grief is kind of a lost year and not to beat myself up about things and
As was true last year, I still work to control my inner critic that tends to prevent me from risking my self, my ego when it would be most helpful for those goals I claim to have. I’ve continued exploring the enneagram approach with therapy, along with other types of effort. I don’t think there has been a single piece of advice but through many therapy sessions and conversations with other chasing the same, I have been collecting tidbits that are helping me explore myself more deeply.
I want te let go of any unnecessary stuff and to concentrate on the things that really matter to me and my kids
I always always always want to be a better parent. There is SO much growth to do there. To learn to genuinely appreciate my daughter. Connect with her. Value her strengths. Make sure she is happy. Continue having a good relationship with our son. Continue having a good relationship with my husband. Make it better.
I'm continuing to show down and trust my body. I'm letting myself take short cuts. I want to deepen this practice and see if i can unwind deep at my core.
I want to improve my fitness, so that I can be healthy and around for my children. Finding out other coworkers have also had weight loss surgery has been inspiring to get back on track
I'd like to be more open and think more positively about my afflictions and how to accept them. I can change some things like how I do physically challenging things and how to think about mental challenges in a way that allows me to thrive rather than survive. I have many years behind me and not many left ahead. I feel like the chains that bound me from childhood to diagnosis in physical and mental areas are not forever IF I choose to live the way of happiness.
My knees have let me know that I need to loose weight. I chose not to go to a class reunion because if it. This usnt the me I want to be. I need to get back to the me I really am. I feel God is nudging me when I try to ignore my health.
I want to have stronger boundaries around the way people speak to me, the way I speak to others, the treatment I accept from others, and how I spend my time. I want the strength to say, “No, I don’t like being spoken to this way,” or “That’s not a topic I speak about with acquaintances.” I need to listen more to the thing inside me that recoils from offense, and less to the part of me that is trained to bend and soften under pressure.
I would like to work on all my relationships. Being a better friend, sister, daughter. I want to give authentically with a full heart. I want to be present. I want to speak honestly and sensitivly even when it is difficult or I fear disapointing others. I want to love freely without fear of reprecussions or loss.
More deeply contemplate: acceptance, authenticity, awareness, ability to have clear boundaries, discernment, empathy, compassion, curiosity, feelings, forgiveness, gratitude, generosity, humility, joy, integrity, kindness, presence, and LOVE
I would love to continue being intentional about self-care and faith > fear. I have really been enjoying lifting and movement and hope to continue a dedicated movement practice with adaptability through different life phases. I would like to continue to loosen my grip on health anxiety and overall worry. I hope to continue to "allow" (my word of 2026) and trust the Universe. My advice to myself would be to trust and allow. You are enough, you do enough. Don't hold your breath, live light, and enjoy the ride! oh lol just reread it and it's advice I received...I'd go with "trust and allow" from yoga and "don't hold your breath" from wookiefoot.
I would like to read more, go out to shows & hike around more, and interact with friends who are important to me more. I would like to write more too: Show The Muse You're Serious! Make a commitment and stick to it daily.
Give yourself grace - you are doing a lot, carrying a lot - and yes, that's you - sometimes treading water is keeping up and holding it down. Give yourself grace. Choose where you place your energy, you should not be putting your energy into things that aren't feeding you, recharging you, or satisfying you. That's people, practices, foods, habits - all the things.
I am having a very hard time answering the questions this year. I am in a very dark place. I feel dead inside. I can't think of anything to say. This is question 7, and Im writing it on Day 10. I missed services on Rosh Hashanah, and Im not prepared for Kol Nidre tonight. I have no one I can call, or talk to. My friends never call me, Im always the one to call. But they can't handle this. I'd commit suicide, but I don't want to die. I just want the pain to go away. The one "piece of advice" I can think of right now is, "Be good to yourself"--- but I don't know how to do that right now!!
Stop trying to control things. I’ve noticed that when I step back and let the universe take the reins it works out fine. Sometimes better than if I had tried to orchestrate it. And it’s less work and worry for me!
Dear Marjorie, You are worthy. You are worthy of everything you do. And anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or an idiot. Love yourself. Love yourself with everything you've got. Embrace those who love you back and leave behind the ones who can't. It's time to stop making space and start taking it.
I read something this year that has stuck with me: There’s no gold stars for self abandonment. I’ve never put myself first and often lose myself in relationships. Conceding to the other person, trying a little too hard, being perfect, etc. to avoid inevitable abandonment when all the while, I was abandoning myself. I’d like to get to a place where I know and respect and stand up for myself without needing external validation, esp from a man. As much as I love gold stars, there’s no gold star for self abandonment.
I would like to continue seeing my counselor at least for the next several months. I feel like I get the benefit of speaking freely with him and exploring more deeply, some of my decisions and reactions to the people in my life and the decisions I am faced with at different times. As I have said previously, I would like to continue exploring my creative side. In addition, I would like to seriously reduce things that I have kept for a long time, but don’t really look at or need. Sometimes I feel like I am afraid to get rid of them and I would like to lose that fear. I think it would be good for me to explore that with my counselor and that might be helpful as I process this desire.
Work on goals and Eisenhower Matrix.
I want to keep taking care of myself. I’m trying to eat healthy and work out regularly. I don’t have any delusions that I’ll ever be ripped, but I want to be healthy. I want to make sure I stand up straight (anytime I’ve been out of shape I inevitably slouch). I want to feel my wife finds me attractive. I know she does because she loves me, but I want her to genuinely be proud to be with me. I’ve never in my life felt handsome. I feel handsome through her eyes.
First and foremost, the most important thing is to ensure I keep showing up across all areas of my life without burning out. Presently, I don't know how to achieve this. My lecturers remind us to take time for ourselves, without giving any useful advice on how to do this. My supervisor herself is poor at maintaining a healthy work/life balance, as she has admitted on several occasions. Meanwhile, being a father and a husband is challenging enough, whilst maintaining my current 'high performing' status at the DfE. The second year of MSc promises to be a step-change in academic rigour, whilst my placement demands more and more from me to ensure that it continues to work. There's objectively a lot going on - my personal therapist has said that herself which I'm taking as confirmation regardless of whether or not it's biased. I genuinely don't know how to make time to keep myself from burning out and it's beginning to alarm me. I'm really hopeful that this time next year, I can look back on this answer and identify the thing(s) that I put in place to prevent a second burnout in 3 years!
How would I like to improve myself this year? I would like the confidence to follow through on my own ideas and give them the time and the space and the resources to grow. Give my ideas the same respect that I give to other people's/ customer ideas even though they are crappy and don't deserve that.. .. I would also like to seriously lose some weight. I'm finding at Flora the increased weight is putting a lot of strain on my joints and some of my clothes don't fit and that's unacceptable. I seem to have ballooned in weight the last three months and yet I'm getting good exercise. My ankle started to be a bit hinky now as well as my Knee feel like I'm breaking down from the bottom up so so yeah I think that I've done it quite a good job on getting to bed earlier mostly so and I've also upped my fitness by walking 15-20 km each shift at Flora and having their operations on my leg veins also helped so I think the missing puzzle piece is trying to get some weight down. I've also started eating breakfast every day and trying to be more mindful about what I eat. I still eat way too much sugar so yeah, getting my weight down a bit would help.
I want to live the life I say I want. What I mean by that is that after a full year of having absolutely no one telling me what to do or when, absolute freedom of action, I still did not build a routine or create habits that I tell myself I want. I don't work out regularly, I don't go out in nature often, I don't build my social media presence and Substack, I don't wake up bright and early to take advantage of my days fully. My "ideal" day has yet to become reality and the only thing in my way is truly just me. My old habits, my fears, my procrastination, my old self is in the way. Starting by going back to journalling a lot and using it as a tool to figure out my next steps and tricking my mind into accepting this new reality as comfortable and natural is where I want to start.
I'm just going to keep giving myself the same advice as the previous year: I would like to learn to slow down, create space for beauty and joy in my life again. Remember that I am the guardian of my inner life and it is up to me to cultivate my ecosystem. More candle-lighting. More ceremony. More sacred space. More connection. More art. More whimsy.
I want to be riding my e-bike on a regular basis.
This is the year I finish my next novel. And get a good book deal for my picture books. And have writing feel fun again. And also, this is the year I make my marriage something that replenishes me. And parent from a full cup. I'm heading the advice from Laura Doyle: "Your desires are sacred marching orders." Also the advice I received from the trees today on my ecotherapy nature walk: you already know what you need to do; you already have the answer; trust yourself.
I would like to decrease my spending and learn to save and invest. I think the piece of advice I receive the most often - and give myself - is to slow down. I think I would benefit from slowing down. I also would like to give family members more of a chance. I recently reconnected with my Aunt Emily, and, while she can be problematic, I can know that and still have her in my life in some small way.
Same as Q6 - I'd like to be fitter and make a lot more money (which we neeed as college or whatever is in its place is fast approaching). Thinking about advice - it isn't new, but niching down in my consulting practice is probably the one thing I haven't really done yet. (I mean, I technically announced a narrowing about 3 weeks ago, but it hasn't had time to have an effect.)
I don't know if I see it as improving myself, but I would like to do better at explaining to people my view of what is happening in the Middle East.
I will continue to develop healthy friendships in my third spaces that serve me and not make me feel used and/or disrespected. It's a work in progress always.
Maybe my life would be better if I kept the house tidier. Kept my things in order. Decided what I wanted to actually focus on. Spent more time with my family. Used my time more productively. My life will be better the second I stop working my way through "Opening your Heart with Psalm 27", it's such a time-sink.
I want to be a better, kinder person. Someone who loves deeply and feels happy. Good advice received from my cousin Betty: let go of the garbage and recycle
Honestly? Stop fuckin around with my health and go to the doctor. My eyes are getting bad, I have hemorrhoids, and I almost feel like passing out from weakness when I skip meals. Pride and embarrassment have kept me from seeing someone about all this. I need to just schedule an appointment Monday. Do it!
I want to continue being brave and holding boundaries even if it disappoints others. This is my life and I want to live it in a way that makes me happy and aligns with my values. Sometimes that's saying no, asking for help, or asking for a compromise. It time to find my voice and protecting my peace.
I hope that classroom management is less of a struggle. I need to put into effect my teacher mentor's suggestions (a place for students to put their things, a shared signal for their attention, and visual cleanup routines).
I would like to be a more patient, understanding, and charitable person.
I have no idea why I'm struggling with this question this year. I have a long list of things I want to keep improving on - its a never ending list actually. But I feel like it's all very much same-same. I want to get faster in my 10km efforts. I want to continue academic reserach through the PhD. I want to continue building on my relationship with Alwyn. I want to be a better, kinder, more patient daughter. I want to keep saving up for retirement so we're in a solid position to stop. I want to find peace and calm and balance amongst the constant rush that I inflict on my life. But that's been the theme for years and years now. It's a bit... I don't know... uninspiring. But maybe it's just that. Maybe I just want to continue to work on these things, this shortlist that has remained relatively stable over the years (less the weight loss which I hope to keep off). And maybe that's enough?
No real advice. Maybe that I need to let go of people who don’t really want to be friends and stop trying to fit in. I moved from Los Angeles three years ago to a tiny rural town in Iowa. Population 2800. The people here have accepted me. They are not friendly. And I can’t figure out why mist if the they just stare at me. It can’t be because I’m ok and fat. I live in a somewhat elderly town. And Iowa Honda some record of having the most obese people in the country. It’s shocking. How to improve me: commit to losing weigh. Finds ways to relieve stress. Be content, if not happy. Find ways to communicate others. Unpack. Sell. Donate. Be myself. Accept the things I cannot control. Let go of insecurities and fear. Allow myself to experience joy, nature and creativity.
I'd like to eat healtheir and have a better ability to eat like I used to, also want to be better at ASL and hopefully be more engaged by my work
Next year, I would like to focus on something I had hoped to accomplish last year: losing the weight I gained after my injuries. Unfortunately, I didn’t lose the weight this past year, but I am proud that I maintained my weight rather than continuing to gain. Now I want to shift my focus toward feeling better in my body rather than simply focusing on a number on the scale. My goals are to feel more comfortable and confident in my body, become stronger, and continue working toward having less pain. I also know that taking care of my physical health supports my mental health. Moving my body has always helped me manage stress and anxiety, so getting back into a consistent routine is important to me for both my physical and emotional well-being. The guidance and encouragement from my trainers will help me continue working toward these goals. I want to be patient with myself, recognize the progress I make along the way, and remember that taking care of myself is a journey rather than something I have to accomplish all at once.
In this past year, I've spent a lot of time learning DBT skills. One of the hardest skills is Radical Acceptance. There are so many things I long for but have no control over. There are so many things I long for but are outside the possible, at least for the moment. I want to internalize this so I don't feel guilt over things that really have nothing to do with my own personal failings and are completely outside my control and responsibility.
Be more consistent with self care and finding new meaning in my post retirement life. A piece of advice is to focus on acceptance of the change that occurs as we age.
I am not taking the bait! I do need to be more clear in my communications with people around me, especially at work.
I’d love to be more positive and less negative. I got great advice this year leading up to my kidney donation surgery and recovery and I would love to help someone else going through it.
Ask for help. Get into routines. Stay upbeat or fake-it till you make-it. I don't know how much or in what areas I would like to improve myself and my life over the coming year. I would like to work on my budget and finances. I am working on accepting myself but also getting to place where I want to accept myself. This part of thinking about myself seems really hard right now - maybe I should focus on getting my medications and getting my doctor appointments in order.
Oh girl, you have to stay more organized! And also, stop getting stuck in all that mean self talk! No one is that horrible! Your life is your own, so own it! Let it be simple in its own way. You’re going to be fine.
Better fitness. More fun.
Oh, there’s so many things. I’m still working on getting to workouts at least three times each week (I’m stuck at 2). I’m working on reducing sodium, sugar, and fat in my diet because my mother at 88 is struggling with these changes and I don’t want to be in her situation when I am 88. And I still desperately need to learn to take it easy and to relax a little bit without feeling guilty. My goal for the last few years has been being a human being and not a human doing. Nothing has changed. I struggle with this and I don’t get good recommendations from people because most of the people I know also are always going and they all think that it’s normal.
I hope to slow down and savor the wonderful things in my life — my garden, the surrounding birds and wildlife, my human and dog family. I hope to continue to strengthen the Mussar practice of “strength”, especially for self-discipline in guarding my speech in that I may measure my words when needed.
Focus on finding and sticking with the foods that truly feed me vs the ones that seem to drag me down, and make me bloated and sleepy. Get more regular in my exercise routine. Stay away from dwelling on anything that drags me down. Seek out fun things to do with Dan besides just spending full weekend afternoon days with my mom.
I’d like to make next year less about adding more to my life and more about making better use of what is already there. I want to keep challenging myself creatively, continue learning new things, deepen my friendships, and make more room for experiences that are simply fun rather than productive. Returning to the clarinet, writing weekly posts in my Peacock Years blog on Substack, traveling, and exploring the idea of September Sisters (I wrote about this in one of my Peacock Years blog) all remind me that life gets richer when I stay curious and willing to be a beginner. The advice that has stayed with me is essentially “don’t wait for the perfect time.” I’ve spent enough time planning, preparing and thinking things through to know that there is always another reason to postpone something. Next year, I’d like to act on more of my curiosity while I have the opportunity, rather than waiting until everything is perfectly convenient.
I cannot recall any advice or counsel received in the past year so if I got any, I've already incorporated it into my ways of being. I just read this morning the suggestion to put down striving to be anything other than I am. Lessons - what I refer to as AFGOs* - will continue to meet me on my path and I will grow - improve - through them. * Another F#cking Growth Opportunity
My husband and I are off sugar. Fruit is healthy. More veggies, salads. Secondly, I need more time for prayer & meditation, and just down time. I tend to feel like I can never catch up & always need to be doing something. My own peace of mind and health are more important than constantly "doing".
I would like to be a better listener. I need to learn to slow down. Listen before I talk and react not just shoot from the hip.
Last year's answer is a good one. I'm better about this, but need to improve. "Less screen time before bed! I've noticed it really works if I put my phone to bed before I go to bed -- I just need to make that a habit. It's not about the blue light - really just about avoiding scrolling when I should be winding down." This works especially well when I put the phone in its little pouch.
After our trip to Australia, I found myself being tired most of the time and unable to take on the things that I had in my book. I feel that this came about because of a Long Covid , which seemed to have started in Australia. I MUST loose the belly fat. And I am working to figure out the the best path to honoring my needs. I think the most important thing will be to get BIG ROCKS tuned in for the immediate next few months. Start January with a big bang as celebration of advancing my goals. ALSO, I decided to have a second part of turning 80 party in December.
I’m going to continue reflecting on the idea of purpose and how my work doesn’t define me. I’d like to think about the ways in which I can contribute positively to my community and be of more help to my family. I don’t know that I can detach this sense of purpose from my work but I can also put less pressure on myself. Not every day will be meaningful with wherever I land and that’s ok. Hannah told me a few weeks ago that people want to help and that I shouldn’t feel bad about reaching out. I’m still struggling with it but as a natural networker I’m open to it. I hope to push myself to seek out those opportunities especially as it pertains to my career opportunities. Looking back on last year’s resolution about sleep, I’ve maybe been a little bit better, but considering I’m unemployed I am not as much better off as I would have hoped. A continual work in progress I suppose.
I would like to be more mindful of my words and their tone. Also more mindful about my energy, more attentive to my limits. In my decisions I would like to be able to stick to this maxim: If it's not completely YES, then it's NO. I think it would also help with my energy.
Keep setting boundaries and be open to opportunities for joy, engagement, and togetherness.
I'm working on making a community for myself now that I'm out of school, both friends and artistic collaborators / business relationships. I need to socialize and work with good musicians! And I think I'm already well on my way to that.
I want to balance my life better so that I'm not always quite so tightly packed. I love that I'm taking the time to read every night -- I'd like to keep that going once Jonathan is back and I recognize that will be a struggle. I'd like to carve and really hold that free time and then use it well. Really have my time off and not have to use it all for admin work and catch-up.
My mom always tells me to worry about what I can control and id like to carry that everywhere I go. I would like to be able to be angry and a little bit more comfortable around that feeling that I neglect and am very sensitive about. I would also like to keep the connection with some of the important people in my life that are a little harder to( Roni, Lev, מיכאל,נועה ד , נועה ט ) etc
Let life unfold. I am not at the center of everything around me, even if it sometimes feels like it. The burdens I sense within others may not be as important to them as they seem to be to me. Stay focused on what matters - life, health, relationships.
I want to continue opening my life and Mike’s home to my friends and family. To continue to draw people in more to the life I’m living as a type of higher power. I want to blend my family and his family in this way of lightening the load. The principle of never alone never again is a piece of counsel I’m applying. It takes a village to raise a child and I am calling on all my support to keep things light and healthy in this transition of motherhood.
I am still working through therapy and learning to pause and use some tools to keep myself in check. We are both newly retired and looking good forward to more activities together. For me I feel I have some financial freedom
I would like to improve myself in the coming year by taking and completing at least one and hopefully more than one quest on the Mindvalley Academy in the advice of vision, from vishen and Paul, McKenna and Michael Beckwith could guide me
I would like to not be so vengeful. I’m taking great pleasure in knowing that my scumbag cousin that ripped me off for years had a bad accident. I saw the video and I just laughed. I feel guilty that I hate him so much. I think of myself as a good person and then to have such a visceral response who is kind of surprising.… Then I wish that he would maybe realize that this is payback for what a horrible self-centered, lying, cheating piece of shit he is.
I feel like I’m inconsistent. I do lots of things to improve myself: eat decently, exercise decently, socialize well, all that. None of it is amazing but all of it is pretty good. I’d like to aim for not becoming lazy or not accepting some of the… weaknesses that come with being 53 years old. A little more redoubling of my efforts towards a healthy and good lifespan. The advice isn’t any I’ve received this past year but one that is worthy remembering: it’s later than you think
more serenity as i move through chaos/distress of work and global change. meditation retreat at hollyhock was helpful. micromeditation, regulating w presence in nature, joy and connection all matter, and some of them can be done together. the idea that joy and community are revolutionary is helpful. i am so much more able to live my principles when i am resourced by playful improvisational connection.
As has been the case, the prior years' answers slot in perfectly again - have more fun, give less advice, continue to heal, and not be critical of others (or of myself!). All are the ways I would like to continue to improve myself. But I've got a new one. I am normally quite disciplined in many of my habits and routines: Almost every morning, in this order, I do the red light, play the piano, do something on the Peloton app, and three days/week, work out w/ Reggie. I then shower, change, get coffee, go to my desk and start my workday (at 11-11:30 am!). It's great and I love it. But I can feel myself saying, "Don't worry about this or that; take a break; skip this; go ahead and eat cereal w/ the coffee, then procrastinate for an hour..." I think it would be better for me to not question any of this. I admire and am inspired by Robin Arzon, VP of Fitness Programming at Peloton (and a total bad-ass), who says the true "hack" is consistency - showing up, not listening to the voice that says "not today," doing the work when no one is watching. She has a "Day One" mentality - that this journey isn't about just today; it's about every day. So we show up. Every day. I really like my routine and I think I should revel in it, not drag or second guess it. So committing to that would improve me and my life this year!
I would like to finally act on getting a knee replacement.
Connections. This past year, I did work on noticing and savoring more the individual aspects of my life that I do enjoy (the "beads") irrespective of whether or not they were building to something larger. On "larger" area, though, that I increasingly feel lacking is that of connection--connection to community, to a social group, to the Jewish people, to some shared enterprise. It could be any of these, honestly, or something else I haven't thought much of (in terms of connection) such as connecting to an activity of deep interest (which smacks, a bit, of the possibly imagined and unhelpful desire to "build" something that has "meaning"). And I need to be mindful that I have and continue to have deep connections to family and place and not take these for granted. So, to add t0 these connections, I will be exploring ways to deepen my social/community connections during this year.
I'd like to commit time and heart to my community, in the form of volunteering for a nonprofit that advocates for youth. I have been doing this in various ways, but seeking more, and deeper, and beyond my usual art-related skill set. I have long felt this, as part of aging, as part of this wonderful place I live, but was further motivated by the life and death of Katherine Baril, a beloved elder in this town. Katherine's life informed the character of this town, and she is an inspiration to me.
Spend less money. Remember that what I don't spend now, I can have later for retirement, for travel, for fun. Do I need it? Do I want it? Am I buying out of boredom? Am I trying to fill a need or plug a hole? Buying that thing won't do it -- I need to remember that. Being honest and not continuing to live beyond my means is far overdue as is having a budget. I've gotten by for too long by being irresponsible and it's just not sustainable.
I am recovering from a very painful hip infection whch has required multiple surgeries. I have what I hope will be my last surgery for this problem slated tentatively for next month. I have spiritual and intellectual goals. My prayer life ha s become enriched as my physical life has become diminished -- temporarily, I pray. My goal is to continue to live richly in contemplation of a spiritual nature, focused on notions of tikkun olam, the healing of the world. I want desperately to heal myself, heal communities, heal our nation, and yes, heal the world. I understand the impossibility of completing all these goals during this lifetime. But the healing of the world is the job of all of us. We just have to find a corner of it and offer our help.
I'd like to do more volunteer work. Unfortunately, I feel that every time I take it on, I get another Job-like challenge that gets in the way. Maybe I just need to find the volunteer work that fills me with joy.
I want to be kinder. Kinder and more tolerant to Susan and June and other people who mean me no harm. I want to live as if every word and deed might be the one I'm judged by for eternity. I even want to be accepting of the woman sitting directly across the little work desk at the airport gate who is talking loudly into her phone while I'm trying to be meditative. She is also a child of the Divine.
Trust. Trust in life. Trust that everything will work out. Trust that you are who you are meant to be. Be yourself. I love you :) I love you Mele. WHOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!!!! Mele, age 12 version :)
I spend a lot of time taking care of others. I devote many hours to my mother, my daughter, and my grandchildren. I work hard in the resistance in an attempt to rescue this country from the dark days we have fallen into. I volunteer in my community. This sounds selfish, but I would like some ME time.
I want to be in my mind's own material more often. I have spent so much of the last decade thinking about other's people ideas and priorities, and am in fact somewhat uncomfortable asking people to care about mine.
So, I didn't get any tennis lessons in this year, but it's still on my mind. Especially with the job situation I created here, I can't spend money on lessons. Perhaps if I land something where I'm making a little more than I was with Robert Half, I can feel alright about spending the money on lessons. I would also like to meet my person. I know Sally is a long shot, especially while she's living in Melbourne, but fingers crossed. I would really like it if God would throw me a bone on this part of my life.
My advice - not knowing is fabulous! Keep doing it boldly! Surrender to the Divine and fly. Certainty is for fundamentalists. Lean into the Unknown and enjoy the adventure. You didn't think you'd ever live this long - enjoy the ride and dream as big as you dare. Bigger, even. There's no place to fall but back into the wings of the Divine.
I see I have the same thing from last year I was going to put for this year. But I just yesterday started ADHD meds, so maybe I will get there this year. Fingers crossed.
Focus on what you are doing and believe in it with your presence
我的人生目標不再是要成為一個厲害的人，而是要成為一個有愛的人。
I want to continue discovering ways to pamper myself and love me. I will be without my therapist who was my everything when it comes to the journeys of the heart and soul. I want to continue this journey of self appreciation, exploration, discovery, even if all on my own, at least with an image, an attitude and a safe Nejlika room atmosphere I can conjure and recall from my memory.
Life is an adventure.
I don't need to "improve" myself. I just want to be more myself, and be less driven by old patterns and outdated behaviours.
Please, please, please relax girl. I can tell we are going to need so many massages and days where we just sleep. I know it senior year but I would love if we have and continue to have the time management skill to calm and recover. (I say as I write this at 1 in the morning) I wish I come do more for you because god knows we need someone to lean on. "One pitcher at a time." As Cassie says and keep on knowing your own limits and pushing them.
Next year, I would like to focus more on my work and be more honest — with myself, with life, and with the people around me. One of the most important things I have learned this past year is that I cannot, and do not need to, be there for everyone and everything at the same time. I need to learn to say “no” sometimes, without feeling guilty about it, and to protect my own time and energy. Some of the people closest to me have given me similar feedback this year, and I want to carry that advice with me into the next one: focus on what truly matters, be honest about my limits, and accept that I don’t have to do everything for everyone.
Take it one day at a time, think of other options it could be, let the feeling just pass by not be the driver, thought record for mind over Matter class. I would live to put these in practice.
I'm 79 years old. I've spent a lifetime trying to improve myself. This year, I'm not going to. I'm taking this year off from self-improvement projects that come from not liking myself. This year I want to just flow with life, to stop trying so hard. To enjoy what I've earned and accomplished so far and just relax into joy and appreciation of my life. There is nothing that needs improving any more. I won't get thinner, or smarter, or richer. I already have the best group of friends anyone could wish for. I'm just going to enjoy them. It feels so good to lay down this burden of self-improvement.
1) I want to get better at computer presentation issues, so they don't hold me back. Specifically Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and whatever I need to put on my ULI presentation. Maybe I will need a coach! 2) But I also want to listen to Elizabeth Gilbert about my flaws. I have a lot of them, but I am still loved and valuable, flaws and all. So I need not hold myself back due to my imperfections - just go forth and shine, warts and all!
I would like to feel more at ease/relaxed. Be more comfortable in my own skin. I would like to attract better quality people into my life. The counsel I would give myself is to focus on the solution and not the problem.
As always, improved communication and intimacy with Karen is in the forefront! I also think that I must be a patient listener, so as to better engage with others!
I would like to be more consistent in my exercise routine. I get bored easily.
Be more patient. Continue to be kind in the face of unkindness. Don't be an asshole
I need to listen to my body and nourish it. Exercise. Better sleep. Better eating. Supplements. Stretching. I've only got a limited amount of time to make changes or I will pay the price forever.
I think my intention is to slow down and focus on the day to day. I need to stop thinking long term and be more present and in the moment. I have come a long way over the past few years, but I still have more to do!
I hope I'm okay
It will be my first year of retirement. Today I step across that threshold. More fulfilled, more fit, more intellectually challenged. I’ve received much advice about exploring and trying. Stay curious, and if things aren’t working, change them!
I really hope to have been committed to and consistent with exercise and diet for a full year by this time next week! I feel confident about my commitment to exercise and hope to improve my commitment to eating better through the next year. I really want to give myself a body I feel confident in, and I feel it's achievable for the first time.
I would like to: See how I can grow from full sending on specific relationships (I’m trying now already!), and become more securely attached so that I can love my people better! A realization to guide me: if my brain has gotten evidence that something is unsafe, it needs evidence to the contrary! Practice and unearth old patterns.
I want to be traveling more...overseas, in the USA or Canada, or Hawaii.
Just do it. The workout, the emails, whatever. You don’t have to do the best job ever but just do something.
A general goal is to keep cultivating inner peace, for my own sake but so I can respond to things with more calm, more thought, less anger. But also, I am 66 and I want to live each day well. That will still be going to work and doing routine things, but if I can do them well, with attention, so I can feel satisfied at the end of the day, that will be good.
BY BREAKING THE SHACKLES OF TOXIC PRODUCTIVITY AND CONSTANT SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND OPTIMIZATION!!! I AM AN IMPERFECT PERSON WHO WILL NEVER BE "FULLY OPTIMIZED", AND THAT'S OKAY.
Someone just told me today "Don't should on yourself." Kind of gross, but pretty great advice, actually. No more shoulds.
I need to learn how to be calm in the middle of the storm. I really need to look into an acupuncturist and or an osteopath. I should not wait.
Touched on it in the previous question. I want to fix my trauma responses. My partner has helped me tremendously and I have a new therapist
I actually feel like my answer from last year is pretty much exactly what it needs to be right now, as well: I feel like my eating and exercise has slipped a bit in the past year. Now is the time for me to get a handle on it before I lose control of those things. With so much out of control in our world right now, I feel like the only thing I can control is how I handle myself, but physically and emotionally. At my music day camp over the summer, we spent time each day journaling and with a short mindfulness practice and I know that taking the time to incorporate those things are things I could do to improve myself for sure. Aside from that? Getting a handle on this simmering anxiety I feel due to the nightmare that passes for our government and now the fear of AI doing us all in within a decade, I probably need to be talking to someone again or at least using some of the techniques I had in my pocket before (which leads back to meditation and mindfulness).
I would like to finally get my sleep issues sorted out. It feels like this is the last thing holding me back in my efforts to be healthier. I'm making as much use as I can out of the doctors available to me, although my insurance's insistence that my CPAP not be covered is both frustrating and expensive.
I’d like to find a rhythm to my life, find happiness and joy, purpose and meaning. Healthier, lighter, more fit, doing things I love like reading and crocheting. A full first draft of my memoir would make me happy. A regenerated curiosity and a desire to learn. “Live your great big beautiful life, I read. I need to find ways to do that. The only person I have to care for, after a lifetime of taking care of others, is me. That will be my biggest goal — ME.
In order t have the life that I want I choose to take better care of myself - more exercise and attention to my personal habits.
I would like to regain some of my lost equanimity. I want to more actively appreciate husband, and more happily support his health, which directly affects his ability to help others, which is now my way of doing good (this is an oversimplification). This sounds like self-abnegation, but it’s not. He needs help; when I help him do things I am often also directly helping others do the same things. Also helping him gives him the energy to encourage and coach others whose situations overlap his own, which directly improves their lives, and indirectly the lives of their friends, family and community. Furthermore, helping him keeps him active and less dependent. All of this comes back to me doing good, and also taking care of myself.
Definitely, improve my health. I need to return to exercising, eating good & engaging in the world around me. Worship!
I'd like to use my phone less in my downtime - as I write this on my phone! But really, I feel like I'm tied too much to my phone, even though I've gotten rid of time-wasting apps like social media. I grab it first thing in the morning, sometimes I'm on it before I go to bed, I'm on my phone on my commute and even in the bathroom. I think what's more important than advice or counsel is setting up structures to establish new habits - such as leaving my phone in a separate room overnight or bringing my kindle or physical reading material on the metro.
I would like to improve my apartment, which I've already started. I'd like to continue to declutter it, especially reducing the amount of paper I have lying around. I'd like to have a different part time paid job, if possible, and a boyfriend. I'd like to eat more healthfully, consistently, and to continue to work out as much as possible.
I did have a poetry book! It is finished, but not really. I was distracted by my recent move, but I’d like to work with Joan and build my poetry brand. The more I delve into the poetry community, I see there are a lot of people that have imposter syndrome. Perhaps the best thing to do is just keep on producing poetry and trying to express myself. I’ve gotten on Substack and will probably start to develop my page. I’m trying a couple of social things like “nice to meet” dinners and Legare, which is a game playing social group. I have met one or two people that way. I have still to get serious about dating online. It’s kind of frightening actually.
I am working on learning to be less impatient with people. It was never something I struggled with before. But as I have come into myself more and more I feel like I 'suffer fools' less and less. I'm easily annoyed, and I do not like that. I'm trying to learn to react less, overlook more, pick my battles, and lose the attitude. Of course, it's the people I'm closest to and love the most who bear the brunt of my impatience. Unfair, and unacceptable. But I *am* working on it. I hope by next year I can look back at this and be proud of how far I've come.
I have already started to switch back from looking out for myself this year by first healing my relationship with my mother and just now leaving an abusive living situation - with kindness and clarity. Using the law as a tool, but not fighting to win, as the cultural norms orient us toward. The counsel that guides me took me out reactivity (and there is planty to react to!) into observer mode. Feel the reaction coming on? In the moment of feeling it I can shift my thoughts and behaviours from reactive to care. Choice point, she called it. I stay present enough to meet myself at the choice point.
I want to feel happier more often. Happiness is a feeling just like any other, so I'm not going to say I want to BE happy, but I want to feel happy more often. I want to do things that will genuinely make me feel happy without considering what someone else wants or needs (within reason). I spend so much of my time being miserable. I don't know how much time I have left, but I don't want to spend it miserable, frustrated, angry, and in pain..
I would like to volunteer for a candidate the municipal and possibly the provincial elections. Afterwards, I would like to do some volunteer work within my community.
Get back to regular exercise, reduce the amount of time sick/run down. Learn when to rest.
Be here now.
Find ways to integrate the pain of living in this world of rising anti-Jewish hate with the joy of being in community with friends--Jewish and non-Jewish--and building for a better future for Jews and for all. Because they are linked: when Jews are made the scapegoats, the world is sick. (Which, of course, it is.) But we are the healers.
I've made a lot of progress in managing anger and bickering with my partner. Hope to build on that. Also, continue weight maintenance.
I will stand in my dignity and confidence fully, being of ultimate service as a coach. I do that now; however, by next year, I will have no worries about income and revenue. I will be unstoppable. Keep being your best self.
Espero seguir incrementando mi ritmo de lectura y escritura. Aún no fluyó con la literatura como antes, así que me gustaría mejorar esta parte. Me hice un mini club de lectura con mis amigas, casi que ni les pregunté. Veamos qué resulta. Mi estado mental sigue siendo un tema. Aún no cuento con resiliencia, no tengo ningún consejo al respecto, excepto dejar que la vida sea lo que sea y yo también
I want to work on managing my ADHD symptoms, as well as accepting them.
I would like to get down to 155 lbs and tone up. I am close!! Cutting out/down on alcohol should help me. I also get better sleep when I drink less. You would think it would be easier for me to do!
Be better - stay in therapy - be less reactive - advice to myself - you are stronger than you think,
You’re funny, but you don’t always need to be the one to make people comfortable. You always smile. What’s funny about me is that I don’t feel like I always smile. I’ve leaned into myself more this year than I think I ever have. Instead of working harder to BE something - whether that be the duties of my current job description or what I perceive is necessary to elevate to some aspirational position - I’ve just been me. And I’m a goofball compared to others. I’m not a natural born whatever-I-am at Parks/public service. I’m good, but if it was baseball it would be fair to say I’m not a gifted baseball player; it’s not my game. I’m silly, I’m playful, I’m gregarious, I’m something other than “baseball” and at Parks they let me be the “dancer” I am on the baseball diamond (think Savannah Bananas), but my nature really would be better understood and appreciated and probably rewarding on the stage.
Looking back at my answers from previous years, I can see a clear through line: I have always wanted to be better, to learn, to grow, and to keep changing for the better. What I am beginning to understand, though, is that growth is not always obvious while it is happening. It is not always quick, and it is rarely linear. Having the opportunity to reflect on these questions year after year has made that much more visible to me. I can see how far I have come, while also recognizing how much further I still want to go. Professionally, personally, creatively, and spiritually, I am still reaching for more, but perhaps the next thing I need to learn is patience. Next year, I would like to become better at allowing growth to take the time it takes. To keep pushing myself and moving forward, but without believing that every season needs to produce an immediate or measurable result. Sometimes progress is simply continuing to show up, staying curious, and trusting that the work I am doing on myself is taking me somewhere, even when I cannot see it yet.
Be more responsive to others' needs. My wife's example is instructive.
Taking care of my health is important this upcoming year. While I don't think I have anything major, I do know that I am tired. I do love my doctor who has put me through a battery of tests, and so far, nothing drastic, well, enough of an issue that really for the first time in my life, I need to take an ongoing prescription for a medical issue (I guess Crestor is common for someone my age). Still looking at the issue of tiredness, so next week I will take a sleep test to see if I have apnea - I think I do. So in addition to the Crestor - it looks like I will need something for my apnea. I never would have expected that my health would be a concern at this point, except for all the times I was pretty sure I had dementia. 2026/27 is the year to take care of my health.
Aside from my always wanting to be in the best shape of my life, I also realize that I need to revisit my math skills. I took a class "Intro to Manufacturing" and we had to take a trigonometry test. I never took trig in high school and I'm also very rusty in my algebra/geometry/fractions skills. I want to improve in this field.
By this time next year, I would like to have a real annual salary, something that can help me build savings, pay off my credit card, and just keep me from having to run to Nathan every damn time I need a little money. I want to show my son how creative people can make a living. I want to show him that you can try something and if it doesn't work out, there's still life afterwards. The piece of advice I got is honestly probably the simplest. I was telling my hairdresser about my worries, she told me about another client in the fashion industry who was thinking about getting out, took on a job she hated just to get some money, then left that to go on to a job she actually liked. "If you don't like it, just quit." There will be other jobs and other paths.
I’d like to be happier in my downtime. I’d like to be more productive not just sitting and watching tv. I’d like to read & practice piano. Don’t want to be sad & lethargic. I want to genuinely be interested to enhance my interests. Being on anti anxiety & a supplement of antidepressants will boast my spirits! Seeing a therapist & a psychiatrist to prescribe meds. 🙏 I’m better next year!!
Be more active
Have patience with yourself. You’re changing in the ways that you want, but it’s going to feel infuriatingly slow for such a long time. Give yourself grace. Find ways to recharge your batteries. Celebrate the tiny wins. Let yourself both look at how far you still have to go but also at how far you’ve already come.
I want to be better at connecting with people. I struggle to talk to people I don’t know or don’t know well. Especially when their energy is not great, I tend to mirror theirs and I shut down and it makes me nervous. I also want to stop the negative thoughts that come to my head when people don’t start the conversation but leave it to me. It now feels that I’m not interesting enough to be interested in. But I should change those thoughts. Maybe they’re just as nervous, maybe I’m just not for them.
I guess the only things I want to improve are my health and stamina. The advice is to try one thing at a time in order to know what the effect is.
My life is pretty good at the moment. I sometimes am oblivious to things that should worry me. But I have decided that that is OK, since the time left is getting less, I don't need to focus on things that I can't influence. Medically, I would like to do better with sleep and with peeing. I am going to act on the later, with some kind of procedure to reem me out. How to improve sleep is another matter. No one seems to really have an answer. I don't get upset by it, but it is not fun. I tell myself that in the big scheme of things, these are minor problems. I am thinking about moving closer to full retirement. This would mean dropping some of my 'do good' stuff. Right now I have: 1. TriFaith Garden 2. Temple Prairie 3. TriFaith Commons 4. Rotary, in general 5. Rotary, community service committee 6. Rotary, Rotary Reader 7. CFRA Governance Committee This past year I retired from the MAP board after 6 years. It felt good. The easiest to accomplish would be leaving the CFRA, but that has sentimental value and a minimal time commitment. We shall see..... For personal improvement, Daf Yomi will end in June, so what will I replace it with? Anything? I need to address my osteopenia, and I am doing that. I don't know if anyone has given me any advice, except my son who wants me to move all our money under his management.
I would like to focus much more on hobbies and activities that bring peace and gentle joy, rather than ones that hype me up or ratchet the intensity. My body is just overworked. It needs genuine rest and relaxation, not exhaustion (even if fun!). So that says to me to pull back on pickleball and aim more for yoga and long walks. Not hikes, even! Just long walks. Activity without intensity. Joy with humor rather than manic glee.
You need to practice better self care. Now that you’re a business owner your health and wellbeing is linked to far more than just yourself.
Just because you've done something doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.
I'm working on following the guidance of "be where your feet are". I'd like to really be able to stay present in the moment and even more so, to align my emotions and actions with the life I hope for. That means continuing the habits I have going on right now and exploring new habits, hobbies, and putting myself out there. It's scary but it's time for me to own my life and make it what I want.
I want to be exercising and doing the correct things in order to keep my body healthy into my older years.
I would like to find the balance between my identity as a mom and who I am not just in relation to others: beyond being a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an SLP, a friend. Those relationships and identifiers inherently make me ME, and I absolutely love that, but I also know that I am someone in addition to those labels.
Be patient with yourself. You have started making changes but it won't happen right away. Love yourself, because you havent for so long. Believe in your skills and attributes. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING Be patient, even when you are at your wits end. Tell yourself every day that you are worth it.
I’d like to actually do more hands on projects, rather than just think about doing them. The advice I’ve received that I think would be most helpful in accomplishing this is to schedule time for doing specific things, rather than leave it open ended.
Financial security Do something specifically for myself Advice from the past year to guide me: Focus more on myself. Stronger/closer marriage More discipline in my life
I would like to be less impatient with myself and others. I have been told that meditation is a good way to achieve this, but I have never been successful at meditating, especially if it is guided. But I recognize that living in a near constant state of annoyance is not good for me or the people around me.
I'd like to find students as a language tutor.
I don't have any plans along those lines right now. I would like to read some more good books in the coming year, which I suppose would improve my life in so far as doing so would make me happy.
First, better focus on a year around de-clutter program. Second, seek the downsize move more aggressively.
Acting in plays is the way I am improving myself. That is the challenge I want to grow with. Advice that guides me that I often find hard to follow is don't worry!
I should exercise more, but I've been telling myself that for several years now, and don't seem to make any consistent progress in that direction. Otherwise, I don't feel the need to improve myself; I am a relatively good person, living a pretty good life.
Problematic thoughts are not facts. Control only what I can control and don't obsess about the rest. I broke the cycle of emotional abuse. I started talking to a therapist!!! We are going to continue, perhaps monthly.
Yes, I'd like to be in great physical and mental health. I need to remember and focus on what I'm doing TODAY to move me towards my goal.
My answer from last year has not changed. I asked for true humility, as I realize that it does not mean acting in a way that I am not noticed. Moshe was said to have humility, which seems kind of surprising. The rabbis say that he walked in concert with his God, acting with honour, kindness and strength. If I can have that kind of humilty, that is a goal to wish for.
I want to learn how to play the piano.
I'm still working on enlongating the space between the match and the flame, between stimula and my response.
I want to continue learning new things whether it be a craft, a language or an instrument. I am loving my retirement and am finding it very fulfilling.
Dying or, at the least, becom8ng as close to a mute as possible.
Advice that has served me well in the past year: -- "Treat whatever happens as wholly neutral, not novel or hard to deal with, but familiar and easily handled." (Marcus Aurelius) This has helped me manage my manager and keep my perspective. -- "What would you do if you were putting yourself first in your own life?" This has helped me be more assertive and feel empowered to plan a trip to Catalina Island, enroll in grad school and live a bigger life.
I want to get more involved with the warm data community in my city to enhance human with human and human with more than human communications.
More patient.
I would like to regain my motivation to stay on top of my records, entering receipts, etc., each day. I would like to improve how I eat so I can continue to lose weight and feel healthier. I've received a lot of unsolicited advice from various sources. I would like to be able to tell people that I don't like receiving it. That if I want advice I will ask for it.
I want my knees and hips to be stronger. I need to physically stand up for my growing responsibilities with Dennis, the house, the grandkids, and the world.
I would like to work harder at my physical well-being. (Lots of advice on that score!) I would like to listen more and speak less.(Mussar advice) I would like to find a rhythm to my spiritual life and any teaching/mentoring I do in the community.
The best advice I got was about setting boundaries -- how they're good for everyone else as well as for me. I hope to continue learning about and practicing that.
I think I have always tried to do too much improving. I try and try to optimize or produce or get it just right. So I guess, I want to improve on NOT improving. Like, just let it be. Let is be done, never start, just stop. What if the things were enough? What if I am enough even if I just sit here? What if my days are filled with moving from the hammock to the porch to the couch to the bed? That is living isnt it?
I would like to be happier and less lonely. I haven't received any advice.
My answer is exactly the same as last year. I need to lose weight and be a better parent
I need to be willing to evaluate myself rather than outsourcing my worth.
Be willing to make mistakes. Mess up. Failure is a great teacher. Be willing to do stuff I'm not good at, as long as I enjoy them. I'd like to cull my possessions to something more manageable.
I want to maintain my current health status through aerobic exercise and stretching. I still want to sell my business or shut it down. I still want to spend more time with my wife and extended family - children, spouses, and grandchildren. I want to do more vacations with my wife.
I am thinking about the off-ramp to retirement and getting the next decade, if I am alive that long, in order. All my aims from last year: exercise, all forms of health, better nutrition, and joy in nature and travel, still hold true.
Find my food willpower. Give in to imperfection around me even more -ha! better to be loved than right
You can't learn lessons for other people! You can't protect them from the hard thing! Its good that you care about people so much that you want to help, but there are things you can't control, and sometimes you make it worse for you and for them. Trust that they will tell you when they really need it. Step in for the little things. Deconstruct when things go really poorly and come up with a reasonable plan.
9/17/26: Well...the most obvious wish I have for improving my life over the next year of time is to reiterate my wish for a more sustainable full-time career path than what my journey in K-12 education has been leading up to this point...but I've been wishing and praying for that to come through for nearly 4 years now, so...I don't know what to say to that anymore. I am exasperated with the job search and exhausted with having to pour so much time into scouring for reasonable opportunities that would compensate me well enough to at least be able to afford a decent apartment somewhere desirable to live, which...truly is a tremendously tall order in today's economy. I think often about how the chance I took in 2011 to relocate to Los Angeles for a job that paid somewhere in the $40K range would simply not be possible today because of how high the cost of living has become. Beyond all that, though...I suppose I'll add that I hope I can get into better shape physically by this point in time next year. If I could lose even just 20 pounds by this time next year, that would be terrific. Beyond exercising, I probably should make more of a concerted effort to eat less...which is difficult to do when you're feeling depressed thanks to being stuck in job search purgatory and eating lends some sense of comfort. My brother has stuck to a stringent calorie deficit diet while going for near-daily walks and doing other exercises and he managed to drop a whopping 70 pounds over the course of a year's time, so...if he can do 70, I should be able to at least do 20, right?
People have been talking to me about self-care, which I had basically put on hold for years. I finally had to stop and just do nothing but recover after knee surgery. The physical therapy has made a big difference in terms of my social life (I like the young woman) but also in terms of my physical strength. I hope to continue with exercise and intentional walking so that I can travel and go to art museums without significant pain.
I did get back to Europe for my brother in law's wedding in Italy, and that was an outstanding family trip. Planning to go to Costa Rica in December, and a Grand Canyon rafting trip next May, so definitely doing better in terms of travel. I'd like to get better at pickleball, and continue to work on my fitness. Spending more time outdoors is definitely high on my list. I found an "Ego Book" that I wrote in 8th grade, and a love of nature was prominent from an early age.
Interesting time, this. I am on the precipice of retirement and I guess what I would like to aspire to is engaging in some purpose or passion (or both) that will satisfy me and help others to the same degree as my career has done. I leave this year to explore. My friend, Julie, a retired physician, said she treated the first year like a "gap year" after college. Pursuing whatever excited her and then reexamining what she really wanted to pursue.
Don't be afraid.
I would like to stabilize my mental health. I have had so much depression and anxiety as of late that it has been debilitating.
Door me meer te richten nr Hashem en meer naar de mitswot te leven, m.n. kosjer gaan leven en door in therapie te gaan.
Never be without an artistic expression. Sing. Act. Write. It truly makes a difference.
Again, Covid-inflected answer. I think that I've learned that I need to do things in my own time, according to my own internal clock and not anyone else's. I think this applies to writing, training, baking, gardening--anything and everything that I love that grounds me. Oftentimes my approach has been all or nothing, because working harder and doing more than anyone has been hardwired into me by my childhood. But looking at a model that foregrounds thriving rather than surviving. Yes.
I am reading the road of the artist, who knows it might help. Advice: when your husband gets angry, after a time he calms. It guides me a lot!
I would like to work on improving my flexibility and balance. I will be approaching 70 at this time next year and want to look at that milestone as the start of a new adventure
Same as last year. Start work earlier so I can enjoy the evening and not have to work at all or not as long as long on Friday.
I'd like to adjust to my ADHD (recently diagnosed) and get better at tome management. I'd also like to lessen my tendency to procrastinate on decision-making.
I have all these ideas about how to improve myself. And they all seem wrong. Too many rules and goals. I shouldn’t have any. Or not enough rules and goals. I have terminal cancer. My dad died yesterday. And I’m in the middle of divorce. And I’ve just moved from lefty Seattle to… Texas. So I would like to keep finding and holding my joy. Something I’m generally really good at. So not let go of that.
I need to leave more space in my life for me. Between taking care of my family, my business, and my community there's very little time just for me.
I would like to improve my life but learning to feel more info my emotions instead of trying to logic my way out of the act of feeling. My friend's advice to me recently is that in moments that I am bracing myself from difficult feelings, I can view it as an invitation instead. From that, I interpreted it as an invitation to be a human, to outpour, to learn more about myself and my process and along the way, accept myself a little bit more each time. Here's to feeling the feels instead of trying to reason my way out of it.
A simple thing: more home cooking. I don’t like the process but I do like the result.
Listen to my limits more and not rely on others as much. Being social is fun but sometimes it's alright to want to do my own thing. People can ask things of me and I have to remember that I don't always need to say yes. Learn to say no more.
I would like to continue to grow as a parent. I need to listen more and talk less, be curious. My job is to keep them safe, let them feel their feelings, and provide guidelines. I’m striving to do a better job at all of that.
Be clear headed at all times.
I will manage my alerts to stress differently by accepting that life will be messy and that is ok. Having faith and focusing on the positive will support my soul's mission.
Similar to last year my goal is to more fully trust that I am enough. That includes letting go of the anxiety of being good enough or doing a good enough job. A colleague today talked about focusing on the joy that is inherent in our work and I want to experiment with making that mindset shift.
Try to do better, be better, think better, eat better, drink better. My guiding text is always the meditation before Oseh shalom at the end of the amidah. Keep my tongue from causing harm and my lips from telling lies. Let me be silent if people curse me…open my heart to Your teaching and give me the will to practice it. May the plans and schemes of those who seek my harm come to nothing…
I would like to be go less hard on myself. I have always pushed myself really hard and in many ways it’s good for me. But I think that it promotes me to really hate myself and is bad for me in the end. There hasn’t been any guidance that’s helped with this. All I know is that I have to be my own advocate and not push myself solely to meet the expectations of the wider world. I’d also like to eat healthier.,
I want to be less anxious, more in loving awareness, less critical, and more open. Therapy has been helpful for me. My sister. Poetry, music, TV, film, podcasts... Angels come in many guises to guide us.
Dierdre, the woman who does cranio-sacral body work for me, suggested to me that I 'just move a little' when I was telling her that I try too hard to correct the pain I'm having in my back and hips. Just move a little is a pretty strong concept. It means, acknowledge and have faith in being where you need to be. I'm here. Everything in me knows how to align, to stack up right. Flow is always waiting just inside my own fear and discomfort and anxiety. If I blow away the freak, just move a little, I can get back in the groove.
In the next year, I want to be better about not holding myself back. I have let fear hold me back from doing or saying things. Most of the time, my fears are completely unfounded. There isn't a bad response to me. Even when my fears are founded, I am resilient enough to deal with it. By learning to not hold back, I will set myself up for much more future success. I can't get what I want if I don't ask for it.
During the next year, I plan to make a budget and begin sticking to it. Budgeting is something that has never come easily to me, but I have found at this point in my life it is going to be necessary. We are struggling to make ends meet, but shouldn't be because I make enough money to support us. That makes it imperative that I make a budget.
I would like to read the same books as another person. Also articles, movies, art, music. So much of my mental life is invested in these things but I have no one with whom to talk about this stuff. Although living in a red state means I am in a decided minority, I discuss politics all the time in very satisfying ways. Where are the people who read the same things I read? I am reminded of the bargain I made with myself in my first marriage. I knew going in that my inner mental life would never get attention in that relationship. I told myself that the comforts of our shared life would be enough, Then I had Pete - not perfect, but a vast shared mental life. Now I am in the same place I was at age 20. Feeling lonely. No advice I can think of about this. I need to ask Dr. J.
I feel like I answered this already, but I'm always seeking balance. I am on my phone less by not as much less as I would like. I am reading more. I am exercising more. I feel so gratified by the time I am spending with my kids. I have been telling people lately that my biggest learning from my career change is not to rush. Let's carry that into the next year.
I want to make sure that I am being true to myself. If pushed — like I was last year — I need to pause and reevaluate before moving on.
Annie Dillard died a day or two ago. Classmates have circulated quotes of hers. I find this one a meaningful and direct criticism of how I currently live: "How we spend our days is how we spend our years." Next year, I want to focus on spending more days in ways that align with — and will lead to — the ways I project wanting to spend my years.
In March, prior to a Friday night service, our cantor told me about something happening on the ensuing Sunday morning at our shul which I wanted to shoot for our upcoming 100th anniversary project project. In that moment, I did not think of my wife's feelings. I would be at work for most of the day on Saturday, and then on Sunday afternoon, we'd be spending time with my family, which is not her favorite activity. She wanted us to have a Sunday morning together, but not only was I not putting her feelings first, but then she had to all but embarrass both of us in front of our cantor by reminding me of Sunday morning. Now, part of the reason for her mood was a dinner we had just prior to the service which was not satisfying enough for her. She was already in a poor mood, therefore, and my behavior made it worse. It is a tough situation because I try to do so much, and I (usually) try to be careful of how these endeavors impact her. On this evening, though, I failed in striking that balance. I need to get better at doing so.
I think my life will improve the more comfortable I get with my new apartment and the back-and-forth I experience between loneliness and enjoying my independence. It's still a work in progress. My son gives me great counsel -- he is deeply understanding and just having that helps me feel like life/self-improvement might be possible.
Don't entangle yourself in others' energetic stress. Keep a healthy distance but stay present in yourself and for others - don't distance yourself so much that you and they feel alone.
I would like to be able to accept that the world is unfair and owes me nothing. I know it but have trouble accepting it
While I have thankfully had a very busy year with work, I am happy that for the most part I managed to maintain having some days off and not letting clients or $ push me to book things on those days. It has definitely made even long workdays more pleasant because I had a break to look forward to. I plan to continue this in the coming year.
My advice is the same as last year: keep taking breaks for your health! You have earned it. It's okay to rest. I'd like to improve myself by actually taking that advice and taking at least a full week of continuous vacation time. I had health challenges this year that had me using vacation time for doctor's appointments, and I don't want to do that again!
Don’t leave till the miracle happens Stay Commit Stop trying to move into the next life you’re not done with what you have to do here
I would like to walk the King's Way in northern Sweden. To do that I will have to get into much much better shape. Possible? I guess, although at this point I can barely maintain my physical being let alone improve it. The best advice came from my niece, whose husband has dementia. It's not his fault, she said, he's not doing this [whatever the "this" of the day] on purpose. That has calmed me a lot (though not enough) in dealing my own husband with increasing cognitive problems.
I would like to live in a better neighbourhood with nicer neighbours. I will not make any hasty decisions
I want to stop these obsessive thoughts that ruin my life and finish my book.
I will work on getting equal balance of hrs on/off my phone. I made good headway last year, so I hope to continue that healthy trend. I DO listen to a few podcasters online who speak to self-love, so I try to implement those recommendations.
I want to be less rushed and frantic. I want more: Cooking and eating at home Game nights Creative pursuits Walks in the woods and by water Reading Long talks Spiritual practices I want less/fewer: Numbing (scrolling, TV, etc) Fretting Obligatory activities Trying to get peace/joy through purchases
"You can't pour from an empty vessel." If I don't focus on myself I have nothing. I will truly suffer if I ignore myself completely. Case in point. Think of the excruciating pain of trying to pick up my glasses from the night table, screaming in pain, and dropping them just because you didn't do PT for 2 days.
I want to continue following my gut, close the bubble around me and ignore outside voices. I will ask for advice when I want it, but I am not beholden to other people's opinions or ideas of what is best for me. Only I know!
With all the turmoil in the world today, most of which is beyond the control of any one of us, I certainly need to live in the moment. Today is good. Shelter, food, all material needs met, this is a time to be savored. Certainly there's a storm in the offing, but dark clouds are still off in the distance and we're in a sheltered and safe harbor for the moment. These are the good old days. So the biggest improvement in my life is to offer prayers of gratitude to the Almighty and make the most of what He has provided.
My goal for improvement will be to be employed gainfully, develop the wanted grace and patience. The grace and patience I hope to have well developed first as that will help me estabilsh myself in a new workforce and help guide my work life and my personal life helping them to not compete against each other but better working together. Listening to some examples and scriptures help me to better understand what patience and grace truly are and not what my impression of them are.
Enjoy my time at home more- embrace the mess, try not to get so stressed out with the whining and fighting from my kids, and bottle up this fleeting time with little kids in my life. Celebrate my parents appropriately for their 50th anniversary this year, and my sister for her wedding next summer.
I would like to have a disciplined transition to prosperity. I will resist impulse buys and "sales" that encourage me to buy items I don't really need.
Slow down, be patient, let people finish their thoughts, be joyful in everything you do
I’m trying to do better about journaling. I’m hoping that will help me. Writing things out instead of just holding them to myself. I also want to do better on budgeting and sticking to it. I feel like I’m hemorrhaging money. I’ve never been this bad with money before, and I need to do a lot better.
I'd like to be more mindful and slower to anger. I read a book about mindfulness and keeping time that offered some helpful advice.
When feeling like I'm losing control of emotions toward anger, sadness, or even fear, breathe--and get curious or go crazy.
Im lo achshav , ematai - if not now - when? I want to continue to do good, add more to the world than I take, and TRAVEL to new places!
The frustration over the effects lymphedema continues and continues to shake my confidence; especially since I’ve become wheelchair bound for the past 6 months. I DO realize that using a wheelchair isn’t ’the end of the world ‘ and that I do have much for which to be grateful. Physical Therapy has gone well. I was fortunate to return to partnering with Teresa and Eric when I became Medicare eligible. However insurance limitations bite into the sustained treatment that helps maintain the progress I have made. That zaps my confidence in myself, big time! By this time next year, I’d like to notice that I have remained positive and focused on getting back on my feet both physically and emotionally more than succumbing to the doldrums that stem from frustration.
Best advice is don't let other people's emergencies become your own. I would like to resolve tension with a couple folks. I would like to seek approval of others more. I know that I am good at what I do. I need to accept that AND keep working to improve.
I would like to have more intentional curation of my life. Screens etc seem to steal attention before you even know it. I would like to work to claw back more of my own attention. I know part of it is reverting to offline options. It is also about getting out in the world.
Just take a deep breath and slow down look at ur just surroundings
I think last year's self-advice was spot on, so I will repeat it: "Stay present. Orient towards safety and beauty. Be curious about the body and its wisdom. Remember that everyone is on their own journey and their choices are theirs and don't reflect on me. Stay simple." to which I will add: Rest. Forgive. Orient towards peace. And do fun things in addition to the hard things. Remember that there is always a solution, even if you don't like it, even if it is hard to find, or hard to choose.
That atrocious phrase, "work-life balance". Caring professions are under-resourced and so exploitative. What does it mean to put it down? Shabbat is the answer of course, but how? I'd love to figure it out, this year for real.
To help my nervous system realize, that joy isn’t the enemy. For life is a balancing act. Joy can exist among all of the moments of difficulty and sorrow.
My answer is the same every year. I want to lose weight. I want to get closer to god. I want to find a home church. I want to find a husband / companion. I want to be closer to my family my children without having to move to West texas.
Да, я надеюсь, я смогу сдерживать свои желания улучшить близких мне людей. Но моя дочь считает мои высказывания неуместными и обидными. Поэтому я постараюсь принимать своих близких такими, какими им хочется быть. А им хочется быть неординарными, по меньшей мере. А мне нравится сливаться с большим количеством людей. Быть, как все.
I will take the time to think things through and stop procrastinating. I have all the thoughts in my head, but I do not initiate the action and that is something I have to change. The piece of advice I received is just do the damn thing.
This past year, my friend advised me to tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. I intend to have fun this coming year free of the guilt and worry that comes with lying.
I want to improve my self-regulation.
Break down large tasks in smaller pieces . Worry about things you can control not worry about things you cannot control. Being more positive and staying around positive people instead people who are negative all the time.
